by T Gray
I heard a knock on the door and Jake yelled, “Come in,” without once taking his heated eyes off me. I started to feel insecure, wondering what he was thinking, until I saw Parker step through the door. He looked breathtakingly handsome in his military uniform. It looked much like a tuxedo, complete with a bow tie, but had metals on the front and rank on the shoulders. It fit him perfectly and showed off how incredibly fit he was.
He walked right up to me without saying a word, and I immediately felt good again. I looked in his eyes, realizing how lucky I was and how absolutely special this man was to me. He was gentle and loving and made me feel like a princess.
“You’re a vision,” he said softly.
I smiled playfully and looked him up and down. “You’re pretty dashing yourself, soldier.” I felt his fingers lightly touch my face as he leaned down for a soft kiss, not wanting to mess up my masterpiece.
We said our goodbyes and Issy was over the moon about how we looked. She doted and cheered and of course made inappropriate comments, but she was sweet, and I couldn’t help but hug her before I left. She had made all this possible. Jake didn’t say a word, but I didn’t expect him to, nor did I need him to. Tonight wasn’t about him.
We got to the car, and Parker stopped me before I opened the door.
“I have something for you,” he said as he pulled out a long, white jewelry box. “I know we already did Christmas, but I saw this and it reminded me so much of you that I had to get it.”
I opened the box and pulled out a delicate silver necklace that had an intricately carved silver rose in the center of it. It was finest piece I’d ever seen and the detailing was so precise, there was even one small thorn on the side of the stem.
“It’s beautiful,” I exclaimed.
He put the necklace on me and stared lovingly in my eyes. “It’s a gift for when you reach the one month point. You can look at it every day and know you accomplished the impossible.”
Tears immediately hit my eyes as I reflected on what an incredibly insightful gift it was. He believed in me. “Why the rose?” I asked as I ran my fingers over the delicate metal.
“It’s the perfect balance of softness and strength…just like you.”
I reached up and hugged him tightly, not caring if I wrinkled him or me. No words would express what I was feeling, and I just hoped that my touch could. He hugged me back, reciprocating all I felt and then kissed me softly before opening my door.
The drive to Charlotte went by quickly as Parker explained all the ceremonial things I needed to know for the dinner. There were rules on standing and toasting and even what type of dinner conversation was acceptable. I started to worry, but he assured me that all the rules were for the cadets and not for their dates.
We pulled up to the hotel and a valet took Parker’s car. It was a beautiful building that had to be at least one hundred years old. Inside, there was a large entryway with an enormous staircase that went up one level and then split into two smaller staircases going in opposite directions. The entire hotel was decorated for Christmas and had three large Christmas trees, each artfully decorated in creams and reds, and rich greenery laced through the railing along the stairs.
We ascended the stairs to the second floor where a large banquet room was full of round tables with one long table at the front of the room. No one was sitting yet, and Parker led us to a reception area where all the other couples were mingling and getting drinks from the bar. The men all looked the same in their uniforms, but Parker was by far the most handsome one there, and I felt proud to be next to him.
He introduced me to his friends and to his commanders, who were all very polite and complimentary. Even the women, usually standoffish towards me, were friendly and seemed genuinely happy to be there. Anytime I started to feel nervous or overwhelmed with all the new people, Parker would subtly rub my back or squeeze my hand, and I would immediately calm down. He seemed to be completely in tune to me, and to what I was feeling at any given moment. I had no idea how he always knew.
I heard a bell ring, and Parker indicated it was time to get seated. We entered into the vast dining area and found our table, our names delicately etched on a piece of parchment above our place setting. We stood until the head table arrived, and then Parker pulled out my chair, indicating we could now take our places.
The dinner actually turned out to be pretty fun. In front of the head table, there was a toilet bowl full of eatable things, like orange juice, dr pepper, marshmallows, and gummy bears, just to name a few. They were mixed together to create something that could only be described as disgusting. Each time one of the cadets would do something to break “the rules” Parker had told me about, they would have to report to the head table, salute and take a drink from the bowl. Even Parker ended up taking two trips. He was so charming and gracious about it that I joined in with the laughter of the group. It was obvious they thought as highly of him as I did.
The dinner bell chimed for a second time, which signified the end of dinner, and each table stood while the head table departed first. When it was our turn, Parker led us back to the reception area where they had opened several large doors that lead to a breathtaking ballroom, complete with wood floors and stunning chandeliers. The ornate windows were all stained glass, giving the atmosphere one of historical charm. The band that sat on the stage welcomed us in and started the evening with a perfect rendition of Frank Sinatra’s Fly me to the Moon.
Parker glanced toward the dance floor, a smile creeping across his broad lips. “Would you like to dance, my lady?” he asked with a slight bow.
I blushed and took his hand, already swept off my feet. Parker was incredibly light on his feet and boldly took the lead as we danced, circling us all around the dance floor. The music seemed to jump off the walls and touch every inch of my being as Parker mouthed the words, “I love you” with the song. It was magical, better than any dream I could have ever conjured up, and I wanted to pinch myself just to believe it was really my life. I felt like Cinderella at the ball, only I wouldn’t lose my handsome prince at midnight.
The music continued all night, ranging from current hits to timeless classics. Parker and I danced the night away, getting lost more than once in each other’s arms. When it was nearing midnight, waiters came around passing out champagne to every person. The whole room started the count down and with each number, I felt the weight of the year start to fall off my shoulders. I had done it. At midnight, it will have been one month, and there was nothing but promise in the New Year.
We clicked our glasses together as we cheered, “Happy New Year!” Parker gathered me in his arms and kissed me with all the joy and promise that encapsulated the room. Others came by to hug us or kiss our cheeks, but I was always acutely aware of Parker’s presence, making eye contact every chance I got.
The high we got from the evening remained as we drove home, the hum of the car engine matching the peace and comfort we felt with one another. I was tired, but was willing myself to stay awake and talk to Parker for the duration of the drive, not wanting him to get drowsy himself. He seemed alert, and perfectly comfortable behind the wheel, allowing me to dose off for just a few minutes.
The sound of gravel under the tires brought me back to consciousness and I sat up startled, unsure where we were.
“Shh. Its ok, we just got home,” Parker said softly, rubbing his hand on my back.
“I slept the whole way?” I asked horrified. “I’m so sorry.”
“Why? I loved watching you sleep,” he assured me with a smile.
The lights were on when I looked up towards my apartment and dreaded the scene I was going to walk into.
Parker opened my door and walked me upstairs. It was almost three o’clock in the morning, and I knew he was tired. I tried to get him to go home, but as usual, he first insisted on seeing me safely to my door. It was cracked open when we got to it, and I pushed it a little to see how many people were still there. Surprisingly, it was quiet.
Jake was passed out on the couch, fully clothed, but with a half-full glass of beer sitting on the coffee table. I walked towards Issy’s room, careful to step over the cups along the way and noticed a large hole in the wall right by her room. Her door was slightly open and I pushed it a little, feeling my stomach turn with uneasiness.
She was laying face down on the bed with her arm hanging over the side. Right below her fingertips sat the silver flask I had given her for Christmas. The delicate bottle was turned over on the floor and sat in a puddle of liquid. The room was dark, but the light from the living room was casting a glow over her.
I could feel my heartbeat start to pick up. Something was off. There was something about her color that didn’t seem right. She was always pale, but tonight it looked sallow…almost blue. I inched closer, starting to worry.
“Issy?” I whispered, hoping to get some response. She was laying eerily still and didn’t move even when I said her name two more times. I approached the bed and realized her head was lying in a puddle of vomit. I started to panic and shook her fiercely with no response. Her hands were cold and I could tell she wasn’t breathing.
“PARKER!” I screamed as adrenalin rushed through every part of my body.
Parker was there in an instant, taking in the sight that had me so shaken. He tried unsuccessfully to wake her too, and looked up at me. He was completely calm, a stark contrast to my panicked state. “She probably has alcohol poisoning. You need to call 911 right now.” He had moved her off the bed and was starting CPR as I rushed to the living room to get my phone.
My hands were shaking uncontrollably as I dialed the number.
“911, what’s your emergency?” the voice on the other line asked.
“My roommate isn’t breathing. She was drinking, and I don’t know what happened, I just got here. Please, she’s not breathing, you need to get here right away!”
“What’s your location?”
“We’re in University Apartments, building 1, room 204. Please hurry.” Fear was starting to consume me as tears racked my body.
“Ma’am, we’ve got an ambulance on the way. I need you to calm down. Is someone there with your friend?”
“Yes, my boyfriend is doing CPR…” My voice trailed off as I looked up and saw Parker still frantically trying to revive her. I set down the phone and ran over to Jake, shaking him with all the force I still had left in me.
“Jake, you have to wake up! Issy’s in trouble…wake up!”
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in so tight I could hardly breath. He wasn’t fully conscious and was still slurring his words. “My sweet Avery, you came back to me. I knew you’d come back to me.”
I struggled against his strength, pushing hard on his chest to wake him.
“Jake, you have to wake up!”
He jolted up so quickly that I was thrown hard against the coffee table. The searing pain I felt in my back only lasted a second as the adrenalin took over again.
Jake was staring at me disoriented as if he was in the middle of some strange dream.
“It’s Issy, Jake. She’s not breathing,” I said again, trying to get him to understand.
My words finally registered and he jumped off the couch and ran over to her room. Parker was still doing CPR, but Issy’s color wasn’t improving. Jake stood there staring in cold silence, frozen by fear.
I heard the ambulance outside and ran to the stairs, waving at them to let them know where to find us. They rushed in with speed and professionalism and had Issy hooked up on a stretcher faster than I could even believe. Jake got in the ambulance with her, and Parker and I followed along in his car.
The shock had started to wear off and my tears came in uncontrollable waves. Even Parker’s reassuring hand did nothing to stop the fear that was gripping me.
We waited in the emergency room for what felt like a lifetime, until Jake finally appeared to give us an update on her. I could tell by his demeanor that things weren’t good, and I stood gripping the chair, unwilling to accept anything but news that she would be alright.
Jake stopped right in front of me, virtually ignoring Parker as he spoke. His eyes were hollow and vacant, the emptiness so apparent that my stomach turned.
“She’s stable, but not out of the woods yet. They have her in a coma and are moving her up to ICU now. I put you down as her sister so you can visit her whenever you want. There are no set hours for family.” His voice was flat and hardened. “You should probably go home and get some sleep. There won’t be any change tonight.” I reached out to hug him, but he stiffened underneath it, refusing to hug me back.
“I’m going to get back up there,” he stated after I let him go. Before he left, he turned to Parker, his face still devoid of any emotion. “I suppose I should thank you.” It wasn’t a question, but more a resigned statement.
“Nah man, no need,” Parker said graciously.
Jake just nodded his head and turned to leave. My heart wept for him and what he must be going through, watching Issy lie there just as helpless as his mom had for so many years.
Parker put his arm around me and led me to the car. I was silent the entire way home, still unable to process the events from the night. I walked in a daze to my apartment, where the scene hadn’t changed from the mess that was there before, but now, there hung a darkness that gripped my soul the minute I walked in.
“Let me stay with you tonight,” Parker offered, pulling me in for a hug. I pushed him away, not wanting anything that would make me break down again.
“I’m fine. I’m just going to clean up a little and go to bed, so I can get back to the hospital tomorrow.” My voice was as vacant as my heart felt.
“Avery, you don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here for you,” Parker insisted, once again trying to draw me in.
I put my hands up to stop him again, not wanting to be touched. “I’m fine, Parker, really. I just want to be alone for a little while.”
He seemed frustrated at what I was saying, but at a loss as to how to reach me.
“Please Parker…just let me be alone for while. I promise I’ll call you tomorrow.”
He finally agreed and kissed me on the cheek before he left, glancing back at me one more time, hoping I’d change my mind. I shut and locked the door and went to my room to put on sweats and take down my hair. What had begun as the perfect night, turned into the worst of my life.
I grabbed a trash bag from the kitchen and started desperately filling it with all the bottles and cups that were strewn around the apartment. After I had filled three bags, I pulled out the kitchen cleaner and scrubbed each counter with all my might, hoping with each brush, I could erase the horror that had happened here.
I grabbed another bag, went into Issy’s room and pulled off the sheets that were stained in vomit and alcohol. I threw them resentfully in the bag and felt the tears start to streak down my face. I wanted to scream how unfair it was to take her right when things were going so good. Then I felt something against my foot as I threw the bag out of the room. It was her flask, the one I had given her that obviously held the last drop of alcohol she drank before passing out.
I was suddenly slammed with a weight of guilt so heavy it pushed me to the floor. It was my fault. Surely, Jake would never let her drink so much. She must have kept it hidden, and I had provided her the means to do so. Sobs racked my body as I felt desperately incapable of calming down. It was me. I did this.
I stood, shaking, trying to get my anxiety under control. I ran t
o my bathroom and leaned over the toilet, holding back the necklace Parker had given me so that it wouldn’t fall in my face. I suddenly felt nothing but contempt for it and took it off violently, throwing it on my bed where I wouldn’t have to look at it. What a farce! I thought angrily. I’m not strong…I’m nothing.
I put my fingers down my throat and allowed all the pain and fear and guilt I was feeling to be washed away. The numbness was short lived as usual, and I slowly got up off the floor, feeling just as terrible and defeated as I had before, only more exhausted.
I walked back into Issy’s room, determined to finish my task and was jarred once again by the emptiness of it. I walked by her bed and saw a little stuffed bear on the floor. It was weathered and old, as if it had been used for years. I picked it up, bringing it to my nose to take in the scent. It smelled like her perfume, rich and expensive with a mix of exotic fruits and rich floral.
I immediately knew I had to bring it to her. I grabbed a bag out of her closet and quickly packed it with essentials she would want if she woke up. I shook my head. When she woke up. Her little bear and favorite pajamas sat on the top as I zipped the bag.
I was surprised how alert I felt driving to Asheville, even though the sun was rising and I had only slept for a couple of hours in the car. The nursing staff didn’t give me any hassle, just as Jake had promised, when I came in and led me right to her room. The blinds were drawn and the room was fairly dark, making the lights and sounds from the respirator even more distressing.
Jake was asleep in the recliner with his arms folded and his head lowered as if he had fought sleep as long as he could. Issy looked frightfully pale and fragile under all the tubes that surrounded her face, and I delicately brushed away a piece of her dark hair that had fallen over her eye. I set her bag down as quietly as I could and pulled out her bear, setting it carefully in the fold of her arm. I held her hand and sat on the chair that had been pulled up next to the bed, feeling the tears start to fall again.