by Maggie Marr
“Hey, Rhett.”
I jumped at the voice. Familiar and creepy all at the same time.
“Baby, until earlier today I hadn’t seen you in a long time.” Larissa emerged from the shadows near my closet.
“How the hell did you get in here?”
She lifted her hand and a key ring dangled from her fingertip. “Baby, I’ve had this forever.”
My eyes skimmed over her. She was butt naked aside from a tiny black lace thong that covered her pussy. She took two steps toward me.
“I hear your album is going to be in Rolling Stone. Babe that is gonna be hot.”
I smiled. Yeah, it was gonna be hot. Larissa slid her hand up my arm and twisted her finger in my hair. “You look so good on that album cover. I can’t wait to hear your sound.” She stepped closer and her breasts pressed against my arm. My gaze locked with hers. This would be so easy. One touch, one kiss, all I had to do was lean in a half inch and this girl was mine, for as long as I wanted her. The long black hair, the lush lips, the bodacious ta-tas. I didn’t even have to try. So easy. So free.
And so not Tasha.
I reached up, gently unclasped her hand, and pulled it from my hair. “Babe, I’m afraid you have to go.”
“Go?” Her lips pulled down into this sad pouty face that only women could do. She moved in again, this time with the full frontal. She wrapped both of her arms around my neck and pressed her whole body to mine. I’m not gonna lie, my cock started to get hard. Her tits against my chest, her pussy pressed against my cock, her lips upturned, willing me to simply bend down and take her. “Rhett, you don’t want me to go.” She pressed her hips against me.
“Babe, you are amazing, and four weeks ago, I most definitely wouldn’t have wanted you to go, but now?” What about now? What did I have? As of an hour ago I had nothing. The woman I loved was pissed and over me. We were finished, weren’t we? Tasha had been pretty damn clear that we were now all business. No more relationship, no more romance, no more of anything that didn’t involve Left Coast and whatever we needed from each other that way.
I could take Larissa. The pain would ebb. She would feel good. She wanted me. Tasha didn’t want me anymore. Tasha didn’t love me. Tasha ended what we had because of one mistake. My eyes searched Larissa’s face. I could pretend. I could take Larissa, have Larissa. Close my eyes and she would be Tasha Jones, if only just for tonight.
Tasha
Entrapment was the word any good attorney would use. Yes, Rhett was at 4play, and yes he’d enjoyed his lap dance from Brielle, or at least he looked like he’d enjoyed it. Jealousy hammered through my heart. But how many times did Brielle try before Rhett said yes? Had he paid for the lap dance? Did he call her over? With Johnny’s admission that he’d asked his little stripper friend to try and make nice with Rhett, I wasn’t sure of those answers. I parked in front of Rhett’s apartment. Six text messages and three voicemails. At least he was trying.
He sounded repentant and I felt bad. I hadn’t even listened to what he had to say. And yes, he’d completely pissed me off with the things he’d said about Johnny, but some of those things, as much as I didn’t want to admit them, were true.
Sitting beside Johnny, listening to him tell me what he’d done to try and protect me, made me realized just how fucked up Johnny was. He meant well, truly, but he was a twisted man. How messed up had I been emotionally to get involved with Johnny?
Pretty damned messed up.
Daddy had just died. And what was a little flirtation between Johnny and I, upon Daddy’s death, became a thing. A big thing, where I spent most of my time with Johnny. What I realized now about being with Johnny was that he didn’t leave time for sadness or grieving. There was too much partying to do and too many places around the world to see. Plus Johnny had been one of my dad’s favorites, as far as the music was concerned. Everything was so clear to me now. I’d used Johnny as a way to escape Daddy’s death, to pretend to be the little girl I had always been around my father. To try to forget, to try and ignore the new life, as an adult, that I was meant to embrace.
I was never meant to be with Johnny. We weren’t right for each other then or now. I’d lost myself. With Daddy’s death, I’d lost who I was and who I was meant to be. Daddy had always known, he’d always prepared me for the woman I was meant to become.
“Thank you, Daddy,” I whispered as I climbed from my car. Rhett was right; I couldn’t let a guy like Johnny determine my love life for the rest of my life. That was unfair to the man who I now was quite certain I loved. I had good instincts when they weren’t clouded with grief, and my instincts told me that Rhett Legend hadn’t done anything wrong tonight.
I climbed the stairs to his crappy apartment. I was prepared to listen to his story, to hear what had actually happened, to accept his apology and to move forward. I would date Rhett. Yes, he was a musician, but I was drawn to him, I couldn’t disregard my feelings for Rhett simply because of the things that had gone down between me and Johnny. Rhett was right; to hold Rhett to the measuring stick Johnny created with his behavior was fundamentally unfair. In front of Rhett’s apartment door, I took a long deep breath. I lifted my hand and I knocked.
Nothing.
I flipped my phone over. His last text said he was home. I knocked again. The door flew open and before me stood Rhett. His eyes wide and his jaw open. He was shirtless and wore only jeans. His chest muscles gleamed in the outside light. His band name was inked over his heart and on the right side of his chest were the names Anita, Ellen, and Sophia in cursive script. I locked my gaze onto his. Those deep brown eyes, brown eyes that I was pretty certain I wanted to look at for the rest of my life.
“I came here to listen,” I said.
Relief flashed across his face. He opened his mouth to speak but before he uttered a word a voice called from the apartment.
“Rhett, baby? Who’s here?”
A chill grabbed my spine and my gut twisted with a dark pain. My eyes darted past Rhett toward the voice. Just beyond, leaning up against a wall, was a woman. She wore nothing, or close to nothing. Her skin was bare aside from a thong. I looked back at Rhett. Heat burned the backs of my eyes and I fought to control the quiver of my lip.
“I see you’re busy,” I said and hurried away from the door, from the naked girl, from Rhett.
“Tash, wait! I can explain!” Rhett padded along beside me, his feet bare. He grabbed for my arm and I jerked it away.
“How long have you been fucking her?”
He pulled his hair with both hands. “I’m not fucking her. The band is.”
I closed my eyes. I was fool. A complete and utter fool. Johnny was right. Women, whiskey, and wine were inscribed on a rocker’s DNA.
“She was here, when I got home. She has a key—”
“She has a key!”
“She’s been with every guy in the band. She’s a groupie. She hangs around, she does things for us, one of the guys must have given her a key.”
“Oh, I can imagine the things she does.” My heart hurt. It felt as though it was being ripped from my chest and shredded right before my eyes.
“Tash, I wasn’t with her. I haven’t been with her since, you, since us. I came home and she was here. I asked her to leave, I was going to throw her out, and then you knocked.” He turned away from me. “Fuck! How is this happening? Why is this happening to me? The one time I am being honest, the time that I’m doing all the right things, and the universe is completely fucking with me.”
“Not all the right things,” I said. “Or have you forgotten Brielle at 4play? Now this? You know I came here to listen. To hear your side of the story, to let you explain. But now I know. I know I was right all along not to trust you. Not to believe that you could actually be the type of man you kept telling me you wanted to be. Johnny was right. He’s been right all along.”
“Tash, you were right about one thing. You were right that women throw themselves at guys when they hit it big. Everything tonight has
been about publicity. That girl at the strip club said she knew who I was. She got on my lap for free. And then Larissa was here because she saw an ad for the album in Rolling Stone. Tash, this means nothing to me. I wouldn’t, I won’t”—he threw his hands up to the sky—“the only woman I want is you.”
The tears welled in my eyes. What was he saying? Why was he saying this? Why couldn’t he at least have the respect to admit what he’d done? To tell the truth? Johnny was a whore, but at least he’d always been honest about fucking around. I couldn’t stand here; I couldn’t take anymore of Rhett’s excuses.
I backed away from him. I needed distance. My stomach twisted harder and I felt like I might vomit. The idea of him touching me, now, made me sick. He reached for me but I threw up my hand to stop him. No, Rhett Legend would never get the pleasure of ever touching me again.
“Don’t worry, Rhett, from what I’ve seen you’ll have a ton of free pussy to dive into and it won’t be long before you forget about me.”
Chapter 17
Rhett
Tasha was wrong, I didn’t dive into a pile of pussy, I dove into my work. And by work I meant appearance after appearance after appearance. The record was dropping soon and Left Coast’s publicity machine had lined up nearly every talk show, late night show, and radio show in America. We even called into shows in England, New Zealand, and Australia. But the one call I wanted, the one call that would have made everything all right, never came. I never got a call from Tasha.
I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I looked like a heroin addict after all the weight I’d dropped. The night of our gig on Kimmel I was certain that Tasha would show. This was big. Almost as big as the day the album would launch. Ellen leaned against the wall of the green room and sipped a bottle of water. She kept glancing at the TV and biting her thumbnail. She was nervous as hell for me. Sophia was lounged on the couch with her cell phone in her hands. Her fingers doing the tippity-tappity dance across the screen. She giggled, she laughed, she even fucking chortled once and a while. “Rhett, you need to be on Kimmel more often. My Twitter is blowing up right now!”
“Happy to help,” I said. My tone was dry and even a little irritated, but Sophia didn’t notice. She never really noticed anything but herself. She flipped her phone around and took what had to be the hundredth selfie since she’d entered the room.
“You receiving visitors, baby brother?”
I looked toward the door. There stood Sterling with his arm wrapped around Rhiannon, and Amanda holding hands with Ryan. I smiled. Mi familia.
“For you guys? Of course.”
Sterling man-slapped my back and I gave Rhiannon a hug. I hadn’t made it to set yet, but the deal for me to write the music for The Lady’s Regret was nearly closed. Ryan eyed me from top to toe and then his face split into a smile.
“I hear that you may not be the asshole I thought you were.”
Amanda elbowed her husband in the ribs.
“What? He punched your brother at our wedding reception. That’s being a pretty big asshole.”
“His brother may have deserved that punch,” Sterling said and rubbed his jaw where I’d hit him. “You have to respect a man who can throw a solid punch.”
Ryan held out his hand and I shook it. “I’m trying, man, I’m really trying to get my head wrapped around all this.” I made a circle motion to the group of family that now stood around me. Ellen and Sophia walked toward the group and I backed away. I needed to exit this little reunion. My head was about to explode with all that was about to go down on Jimmy Kimmel.
“Hey, how you holding up?” Amanda looked at me with those blue eyes that held warmth and concern. I started with a smile, but the corners of my mouth didn’t get very far.
“You know?”
She nodded. “I saw the chemistry at the wedding. The way you looked at her. So I wasn’t surprised when I heard you two were seeing each other.”
“I fucked it up. I fucked the entire thing up.”
“I did hear some of that, and I have to admit, big brother, the details didn’t sound good.”
I scrubbed my hand through my hair. I leaned close to Amanda. “I have fu- … slept with many, many, many women in my life. I have always copped to it. I am telling you right here, right now, on my mother’s life. I didn’t sleep with Larissa that night. I didn’t kiss her. I asked her to leave. The timing couldn’t have been any worse.”
Amanda grasped my arm. “I believe you, Rhett, I can see it in your eyes. Unfortunately I’m not the girl you have to convince.”
I nodded. No shit. “Have you …”—my voice actually trembled—“have you talked to her?”
Amanda nodded. “I have.”
“Ten minutes, guys!” A dude with headphones and a clipboard stood in the doorway.
Ryan grasped Amanda’s hand. “Babe, we should clear the room. Give these guys a little space. Man, we’ll see you after? Right? At Sterling’s place?”
I nodded. Sterling was having a party at his beach house in Venice to celebrate our Kimmel gig.
“We’ll talk later,” Amanda said. She leaned in and gave me a tight hug. “I love you big brother,” she whispered in my ear.
“Love you too,” I said.
She smiled and let her fingers graze my chin. “Took you long enough to figure that out.”
Ellen and Sophia both gave me a hug. Sophia took one more selfie of the entire room, Ryan Sinclair and the band included.
“Blowing up!” she yelled and pumped her fist as she walked from the room.
I turned to the guys. I was certain I looked just as sick to my stomach as they did. I paced the green room from end to end, reciting the lyrics to “Dead Man on the Side.” Darren found a corner and played air drums. Trevor and Max both pretended to be holding guitars and playing. Why? Who the fuck knew? We were amped and I was fucking terrified that tonight, on stage, I’d look into the camera that was the gateway to millions of homes and fucking forget the tune.
“Hey, guys!” The female standing in the doorway from Left Coast wasn’t the woman I’d wanted to see.
“Hey, Billie,” Darren said. Trevor walked over and gave Billie a hug and Max waved. I continued to pace, about ready to climb the fucking walls.
“How you doing?” Billie asked in a near whisper. “You need anything?”
The one thing I needed, the one thing I wanted, Billie obviously couldn’t get. If Tasha wouldn’t show up for Kimmel, then she wasn’t showing up for anything.
“You alone?”
Billie nodded. Her eyes held a sad and somber look. Did she know? Had Tasha told her? Probably the chemistry was so fucking obvious to the outside world there wasn’t a way that anyone who knew either of us didn’t know. What was going on between us had never been a secret, we’d just neither one of us trusted our feelings enough to tell many people about the relationship.
“You’ll do great,” Billie said.
I nodded. I turned away. I had to do great. This was my shot, our shot, and also Left Coast’s last chance. I might not be able to see Tasha, or talk to Tasha, or ever hold her in my arms again, but I could sure as shit be the primary reason why she got to keep Left Coast.
“Guys?” The dude with a clipboard and a headset stood just inside the green room door.
My stomach flipped.
“We’re ready for you.”
I looked at Darren and Trevor and Max, their faces held the worry of a thousand fears. I forced that wicked grin to my face, the one they hadn’t seen in nearly a week. “Well, are we ready to show all of America what Bad Double is all about?”
All three of my bandmates perked up with my words. They nodded.
“Fuck, yes,” Max said.
“Let’s go,” Trevor said and headed toward the door.
“Glad you’re back, man,” Darren said and hit me on the shoulder.
I took a long breath. The smile slipped. Billie grasped my arm. “Go kick ass,” she said and squeezed my arm.
Kick a
ss. That was exactly what I planned to do.
Tasha
I didn’t trust Rhett, but I still loved him. There was no way I’d miss him on Kimmel. But I wasn’t about to go into that green room. One of the producer’s daughters and I went all the way back to Archer. The producer had even partied with my dad. She let me park myself in an alcove off to the side of the stage. Away from the green room. Away from the band. There was no way I’d walk into that room, not now. They were already amped on adrenaline, and my presence would do nothing but throw Rhett off his game, because I couldn’t give him the answer he wanted, the resolution that he thought he needed. The happy ending that we’d both hoped for was gone. Ripped away from us by his cock.
“See Deb’s mom showed you the secret spot too.”
I looked at Amanda and smiled. She clasped me in a hug.
“You see him?” I asked.
“I did. He looks sick.”
I smiled. “That’s a good thing. It’s his first time on network TV. I’d be worried if he looked cool and collected. If he’s sick, he’s amped, and if he’s amped he’ll play to the crowd. We already know how beloved your big brother is going to be.”
“And you? How are you doing?”
I shrugged. I didn’t want to discuss Rhett with Amanda. I didn’t know how to. They were brother and sister and she saw something in him that I thought that I’d seen too, but that glimmer of a great man with integrity and loyalty had been crushed the night I knocked on his apartment door.
We both watched as Rhett and Devon and Trevor and Max took their spots on stage. I knew they couldn’t see me, but I took two steps back.
My body trembled. I hadn’t seen Rhett since the night of the lap dance, and the naked girl in his apartment.
“I think he’s telling you the truth.”
“Amanda—”
“No, really. I think he is. He swore on his mother’s life.”
I closed my eyes. Would Rhett lie that much to get me back? Did he lack that much integrity that he’d use his mother to try and get to me? Words and thoughts pounded through my brain, but Jimmy was back from commercial and he was introducing the band, and then the lights, the cameras, the eyes of America were on Rhett.