by Stacey Lewis
“Did your father by chance leave you a sister you had no idea about?” Remy jokes, his eyebrow lifting playfully.
I blink, not sure if he’s kidding or not, but when his grin falters and his eyes turn sad, I try to make him feel better by telling him one of my own secrets. “Wow, that’s pretty bad. You may have me beat, although my father did leave my mother for his assistant while my little sister was in the hospital fighting cancer.” My blood boils just from saying the words.
It’s his turn to look shocked, but it quickly turns to anger. “What a fucking prick, not to mention a waste of fucking space. Who cheats on their wife? Especially when their kid is in the hospital with cancer?”
I shrug, “I used to ask myself that all the time, but doing so only made me more angry. I’m better off focusing on how to help my sister, so I just push the anger down, swallowing it as much as I can.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, aware that I’ve just said more to Remy then I have anyone else about my father, and sister. I don’t even talk to Fallon about it much, because talking doesn’t change the outcome. Dad’s still a dick, and my sister is still sick.
“I’m sorry.” Remy starts, and I stop him with a shake of my head.
“Don’t be. I don’t want your pity. There are people who have it way worse out there. I just deal with my own shit. There isn’t any point in bitching about something that can’t be changed.” Remy takes another drink, and sighs well sinking into his chair.
“Your right, but it does help to talk it out. Like right now I’m so fucking frustrated about my father and his dumb letter that he wrote me. About my brothers, and how they’re all happy, getting married or already married and having kids. It’s like I’m on the outside looking in.”
“Ryker’s getting married, and having kids?” I’m a bit taken back by his statement but enjoy the chance in topic. Anything to keep the topic off of me and my shit storm called life.
“Well I don’t know if he’s getting married he’s having a baby with his new intern. They met outside of her being hired, so he had no idea she was going to be his new assistant.”
“That’s good though. Your brothers are creating a life of their own. I’m sure you won’t be far behind them, with a wife in kids.” I cringe as I say the words because even if I don’t want to admit it the thought of Remy finding someone else doesn’t sit well with me.
I’ve never been the type to lust after a man and yet here I am, my heart pounding in my chest and my thoughts swirling with need.
“Probably not. The one person I want doesn’t want me, so I doubt I’ll be moving into a relationship anytime soon.”
He takes another drink from his glass and I feel Abe walking over before I hear him. As badly as I want to quit this job I need it. Abe pays decent enough, and understands my busy schedule and he knows about my sister and her cancer so I just need to bite the bullet.
“Who’s your friend?” Abe questions. His stance is possessive, and when he places his hand on my shoulder I shrug it off. Remy narrows his eyes, and I feel like I’ve been caught in the lion’s den, stealing me from the King.
“Remy this is Abe. Abe this is Remy.” I introduce them even though I don’t want too. My palms are sweaty, and my stomach churns.
“Nice to meet you Abe. I’m guessing you run this bar.” Remy asks.
Abe nods, “Sure do. I hope Mel here is helping you out?” Abe directs his attention back towards me, basically acting as if Remy isn’t here at all. “We aren’t done talking. I want you to meet in my office when you’re done with you shift.” I don’t say a single word, as I notice the way that Remy’s eyes fall to the bar.
I can tell he’s annoyed just from the way he messes with his glass, and I don’t really blame him, because I feel the same way.
“Thanks for the reminder Abe, but I’m in the middle of something here.”
Abe takes my subtle comment and smiles walking away, as if he’s some badass who laid claim to me.
“If you were seeing someone you could’ve just said it instead of saying you don’t date.” Remy’s eyes lift to mine and I can see the betrayal in them. I don’t owe him an explanation but I still feel the need to tell him that Abe is nothing to me.
“I’m not seeing anyone.” I say so low I’m not even sure Remy hears me. “He’s just a dick who knows I need this job to help cover all the medical bills my mother and I have right now. I made the mistake of sleeping with him one night and I’ve regretted it every day since.”
The pressure seems to lift off my heart as the truth drips from my lips. If he were any other man I’d careless, but Remy’s jealousy bothers me. I don’t want him jealous of another man having me, not when he’s the only man I can picture in my mind. Not when he’s the only man I’ve thought about all damn day.
When I look back up, Remy’s gaze is fixated on me, burning me into place. I can see the lust swirling in his eyes, and for some strange reason I can’t break the trance he puts me in. It’s like I’m stuck between wanting him, and wanting to push him away all at the same time. I know we could never be anything more than fuck buddies, but even that’s tempting at this point. The man makes me feel things I’ve never felt for a man before.
His lips part ever so slightly, and I want to lean in and kiss them just to remember if they’re as soft as they felt last night.
“If you need a job I can get you one. I can help you Mel. You don’t have to work in this shit bar, and take advances from your boss, who obviously isn’t taking the hint.”
It feels like a bucket of cold water has been poured on me as I digest Remy’s words.
“I told you before I don’t want your pity, and the job is fine. He’ll get it eventually. I don’t need anything from anyone. Relying on others leaves you vulnerable to getting hurt and I’m not going to put myself in that situation again.”
I start to walk away but am stopped as Remy’s hand grabs onto my wrist. I feel hot and cold all at once, his touch making me want to give into whatever it is he wants, well my mind and heart tells me otherwise.
“Come home with me. I won’t hurt you Mel. You know that. I don’t expect anything from you but I can’t just let you stay here when I can see how much you’re hurting.” I bite the inside of my cheek, and blink away the tears that form in my eyes.
No one has ever said something like that to me before, and yet I can’t allow myself to get attached to this man, or any man for that fact.
I’ve got daddy issues, and a number of other things going on in my life. Remy don’t need that kind of baggage.
“Thanks but no thanks Remy. Go back to your perfect little life, and leave me alone. I’m not some charity case you can rescue.” I sneer pulling from his grasp. I can see my words have hurt him when a sour looks forms on his features, but he doesn’t press the issue or say anything else. He merely releases my wrist, and stands pulling out his wallet and throwing down some money onto the bar.
I swallow around the pain I see in his eyes, and need to assure him I’ll be okay. Bringing Remy into this mess won’t fix things. It’ll only complicate them further and I have no room in my heart for love right now.
I sigh as I watch him walk out of the bar, my body begging me to go to him. I grab the bottle of whiskey from the bar and put it back on the shelf, and the cash out his order, pocketing the one-hundred-dollar tip he left me.
My heart hammers in my chest, and I feel emotionally and physically exhausted. All I want to do is go home, climb in my bed, and sleep this entire mess away.
Maybe when I wake up in the morning this will all be nothing but a dream?
“I don’t like the way that guy was looking at you Mel.” Abe barked.
“Enough Abe. We aren’t dating and you have no right to tell me who I can and cannot talk to. It’s not like the bar was full with people. I was having a simple conversation with the man. How he looks at me isn’t any of your concern or even my problem. Stop trying to cause issues or I’ll quit, and you can fin
d a new bartender.” I informed him, before turning my heels and walking towards the back door.
“Where are you going, and who do you think you’re talking too? I’m your boss, in case your forgot!” He exclaimed fiercely, clearly fired up over what I had said to him.
“Me?” I whirled around, done giving a fuck for the evening. “I’m going home. I don’t have to subject myself to this shit. Next time you ask me to work, maybe make sure you can keep yourself in line. I’m not your woman, or girlfriend Abe, so stop treating me, or acting like I am.” And with that I walk out sadness filling me to the brim, and when I finally reach my car I feel tears pricking my eyes.
Damn you Remy Winston.
Damn you.
His words still linger in my mind as I climb in my car, and start the engine to head towards my apartment…
“You know I won’t hurt you…”
My chest constricts and something inside me snaps...breaking down the middle.
Maybe he won’t but that’s not a chance I feel I can take...no matter how good of a man Remy Winston appears to be.
Chapter Eight
Remy
Anger. Frustration. Rage. Yeah, they aren’t things I feel all that often. Normally I’m pretty chill, and relaxed but this shit with Melody has my emotions strung out all over the place. I don’t know what’s up or down. All I want to do is make things easier for her but she refuses to acknowledge me, or let me do so, which pisses me off more than I care to admit.
Women love me, all women, so Melody denying me only makes me want her more.
After sitting on it all night, I decide to go to Fallon in the morning and get the deets on Melody. If she doesn’t want to tell me the whole deal then maybe Fallon will. There’s no way I can handle knowing that Mel is working for that douchebag when there is something I can do about it. I have money. I could get her a job somewhere else. I could help her.
Would she take the offer if I extended it? Probably not. The girl was determined to do all of this on her own, and I couldn’t really blame her after hearing about what her father had done. I couldn’t imagine, then again I guess I could considering my father was as far from perfect as it got. I charge up to Reed’s floor, taking the stairs two at a time.
With all the family drama, and shit with Mel I’ve had a hard time getting to the gym so a little extra walking isn’t really that bad for me.
When I make it to his floor I’m greeted by a number of employees. They all smile and watch cautiously as I head towards my brothers office, though it’s not him that I’m after, it’s his wife. When I see the replacement sitting at Fallon’s desk filing her nails it hits me that Fallon is still on maternity leave and if I want to get the answers I seek then I’ll need to skip out on a days work to go and pay her a visit.
When the replacement notices me standing there, staring at her she perks up, her eyes going wide.
“Can...Can I help you?”
“Uhh..yeah. Let Reed know I’ll be gone from my office today.” The replacement whose name I haven’t even gotten nods her head, her eyes glazing over as if she’s in some kind of trance. I should be used to women looking at me like that, but the only woman I want to be in a trance and completely at my mercy is the one woman who will never give me a chance.
“Of course Mr. Winston.” She murmurs, and once I know she’s comprehended what I said I’m rushing back down the stairs and to the parking garage.
I make the short trip from the office to Reed and Fallon’s place in no time. I pull into Fallon’s driveway and put my car into park. I kill the engine and gather my wits. Maybe Fallon didn’t know about Mel having a second job. The fact that she slept with her boss bothers me, but it’s in the past. I’m worried about him being a dick to her now that she’s not offering to sleep with him anymore, even more so when I’m certain she needs the job, especially after seeing that invoice on her table.
Getting out of the car I walk up the sidewalk and up onto the porch. My fist lands against the heavy wooden door before I can gather my thoughts completely. I’ve been so calm about everything, and yet right this second I can feel the anger bubbling inside me.
Seconds tick by and I wonder if maybe she is sleeping? It’s possible. Guilt sinks in, and then the door flies open and a very exhausted and worn out Fallon appears before me. She’s holding Maverick to her chest, and even though she looks dead tired, there’s a smile that pulls at her lips when she sees me.
That’s Fallon, always there for everyone else even when she’s struggling to get through her own shit. I can tell from looking at her that she hasn’t had a moment to take care of herself. Normally her hair is brushed, and her makeup is done, but right now none of those things are done. Her hair is a mess, she has bags beneath her eyes, and there is some yellow looking stains on her shit.
I look away, feeling like an asshole to come here and yell at her, when she has so much going on in her own life. It’s possible she has no idea what is going with Mel...but then again this is Fallon and Mel is her best friend.
“Remy, it’s so nice to see you. Come in.” She steps back giving me enough room to come in and when I do I’m taken back by what I see. The house is a mess, with diapers, small childrens clothing, and bottles and formula sit on the living room table.
“Is everything okay?” I ask Fallon, my gaze swinging to hers.
She sighs, “Yes. It’s just we’re not on a routine yet, and Mr. Poopy pants here doesn’t like it when his mommy puts him down, so as you can see…” She emphasises the mess by making a look here gesture, “The place hasn’t been picked up or anything and I just don’t have time to do it… and Reed is dealing with stuff at the office so it’s hard to get anything done…”
She’s rambling now, and when I see the tears glisten in her eyes I press a finger to my lips to get her to be quiet. She stares at me weary and I’m forced to sheleve my anger and questions for a few more minutes.
“Give me Mav, and you go take a shower.” I order. It takes Fallon a couple seconds to realize what I’ve said, her mouth popping open as if she wants to argue but then closing a moment later as if she’s decided against it.
“That’s very sweet of you Remy, but I know you didn’t come here to watch the baby so that I could shower.” I give her a stern look. She might be older than me but as her kinda-brother I could easily make her do what I see.
“It’s not why I came here, but seeing you like this I can’t just come here, ask you a couple questions and leave. You’re like a sister to Fal. If you’re struggling then so am I. So go take a shower before I put your ass in it.”
I watch her visbily gulp and then she passes Mav to me without another word mentioned. I cradle him in my arms, my entire body warms when his blue eyes meet mine. I remember Fallon saying something about babies having a hard time seeing peoples face when they’re first born so I lean my face in real close to his and start talking.
“Hey little man. It’s uncle Remy. The cool uncle.” I smile to myself. “You don’t have any clue how much your mommy and daddy love you.” He yawns an adorable baby yawn and I stare at his angelic face, trying to decipher who he looks like more.
And the longer I stare the more I start to realize this is exactly what I want. What Reed has, is what I want. A baby, a wife, a happy marriage, someone to love me unconditionally and let me love them the same way in return. Moments, minutes, could even be hours, who knows, tick by as I stare at my nephew.
This little guy brings more joy and light to our dysfunctional mess then he’ll ever know, and I know then that Dad may have fucked up big time, but in his death I’m brothers have found their own sliver of happiness, their own happily ever afters even after the bullshit letters and truth came out and I want one too.
The happily ever after. The love. The fire, and passion that Reed has for Fallon when he looks at her. I want that.
“Is everything okay?” Fallon’s sing-song voice startles me from my stupor and I suddenly I realize I’ve been contempla
ting my life the entire time she was in the shower. My gaze slips to Maverick who is quietly sleeping my arms.
‘Uhh yeah. I just needed to talk to you. Do you feel better?” She still looks exhausted but instead of looking like she’s one second away from losing it she looks refreshed, and slightly joyful. She nods, her features softening as she takes Maverick in.
“You must have the same touch Reed has. I swear every time he holds the baby he falls asleep but the second he’s in my arms he’s all wide eyed and bushy tailed.”
“It’s the Winston touch…” I joke. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head, taking Maverick from me, and placing him what looks like a small little bed in the corner of the room. She tucks him in, and kisses him before scurrying back to the couch, her eyes once again on me, prying for answers without saying a single word.
“What’s going on Remy. You didn’t come here to help me with the baby, or give me a shower. Plus, you’re supposed to be at work today, so whatever it is that’s going on must be pretty big.” She raises one eyebrow in questioning, and I let all the emotions I feel for Mel swarm me.
“Did you know Mel was working two jobs?” I question. “Or that she has 100k in debt that she owes to someone. Someone I’m going to assume is the hospital based off of the things she told me about her sister and mother.”
Shock fills Fallon’s features, “I know she was working a second job I just assumed her first wasn’t paying well and that’s why. I had no idea that she had that kind of debt to the hospital.” I analyze Fallon’s face and decide she’s telling the truth. She seems just as shocked as I am saying the words out loud.
“Why haven’t you tried to help her? I know you could. Reed wouldn’t care.” I try to hide my anger but I can’t, not when help is right there, practically within arms reach and no one is offering her anything. Fallon as her best friend she at the very least try.
Fallon places her hands in her lap and gives me a sad look, “Mel is stubborn as hell, and she doesn’t like to owe anyone anything. She does everything herself even if she struggles to get through it. That’s how she’s always been. A one woman team.” Hearing Fallon say that infuriates me further and I clench my fist repeatedly well resting them against my dress slacks as if I’m holding onto a stress ball.