by Amy Daws
“Oxford, you slapper! I can practically hear your naughty thoughts screaming at me!” My eyes swerve to Frank and he’s got his fingers in his ears like a child.
I pull self consciously down on my black mini dress. I wasn’t half as nervous in it an hour ago when I still had panties to account for. Going commando messes with a girl’s confidence, especially when you have an obnoxious ginger tuning into your inner most thoughts!
Just as I prepare to give Frank a tongue-lashing, Finley and Brody come strolling in with Mitch and Julie hot on their heels. Hugs and kisses are spread all around and before I know it, we’re all drinking champagne and talking about all the new ideas I have for the pub.
All my favorite people are here for our opening. My mom, Al, Frank’s Brixton Mansion family—who I’ve now adopted as my own. Liam’s parents, Betha and Alden—whom we’ve dedicated a permanent Cribbage corner in the pub for. Betha and Alden even like Ginge on Top ale! Several people, including Lariza are here from Club Taint. They all find it hilarious that I framed my old “Taint isn’t for the Faint” tank and gave it a place of pride on the White Swan Pub wall. The only person that would make this all complete is—
“He’s good, you know,” Theo’s voice says from behind me as I gaze out the lattice window into the street.
I turn around and smile knowingly as Theo confidently adjusts his glasses. Aside from his pale brown eyes, Theo looks so much like Hayden. It’s sometimes painful to look at him. It takes me back to those dark years and I still battle with guilt.
“Is he really? I thought he was coming tonight. He said he’d try. I can’t help but still worry about him,” I say, gazing out the window.
Theo purses his lips. “He still might show. But, if he doesn’t, I think it’s because he’s just trying to be respectful. It’s your guys’ big night and all.”
“I would respect him more if he were here,” I reply. “That’s what I want him to know. I miss seeing him as much as I used to. I just want to see him happy.”
“He is happy. He just moved back to London and we’re working together again. He’s doing brilliantly.”
I nod sadly. “I know. He texted me a few weeks ago. I just hoped tonight he might—”
I stop mid sentence as I see through the window a familiar tall, lanky frame striding down the sidewalk. “Holy shit!” I squeal and dash past Theo to run outside and greet him.
I stop quickly to tell Liam that Hayden is here and I’m just going to pop out to greet him. Liam nods and smiles, kissing me sweetly on the lips before I go. A happy flutter cascades through me at the complete confidence he has in me now. He knows how Hayden feels or felt about me. Who knows where Hayden’s head is right now. I haven’t feasted eyes on him long enough to determine it yet.
When I finally make my way through all of our loved ones, I step outside, round the corner, and am immediately confused at the image before me.
“Bugger! Fuck-a-duck! I! Crikey! How the! Shit!” A spindly blonde is hunched over the top of Hayden as he lies on his back on the sidewalk, tangled in a huge leash and the large straps of what looks like, a gigantic purse. A huge, furry dog is lapping incessantly at his face as she attempts to pull the animal off of him.
“Everything okay?” I ask, helplessly. Hayden’s laughing and petting the dog whilst attempting to untangle the mess he’s in.
“Oh fuck! Yes! Shit. Dumb dog. Bruce!” the blonde cries and continues to yank on the collar. The long leash is twisted all around Hayden’s legs. “Come off it! He’s a horrid animal. I thought it’d be fun to have a bloody Beethoven. He’s crazy sweet, but slobbers all over. God, I’m afraid he’s completely molested your friend here. Oi! I didn’t even get your name, yet. What’s your name, mate?”
Hayden finally breaks free from Bruce and stands up, brushing himself clean. He leans over and pats the dog affectionately. “I’m Hayden.” When he finally looks up at her, his humored expression falls.
“Hiya,” she mumbles and nervously tucks her hair behind her ears. The two continue to stare at each other with a serious electric current being passed back and forth.
Finally I break the heated tension. “So who are you?” I ask, looking her up and down. This blonde is a bit of an adorable mess. She’s all legs, arms, and long, straight hair. She seems eccentric, but sweet.
Pausing, she looks over to me and glances at my tattoos, “You’re Reyna, aren’t you?”
“I am.”
“Oh God, yes. I’m Leslie’s mate, Vi. We work together at Nikon.” She looks back at Hayden with curiosity on her face.
“Oh, yes! I’ve heard of you. I thought your name was Vilma? That’s who I have on the guest list. Are you Vilma?” I reach over to shake her hand and she distractedly returns the gesture. Her light blue eyes are lingering on Hayden’s.
“Yeah, well…I go by Vi usually. Leslie’s the only one that calls me Vilma. Liam told Leslie it was fine for me to bring Bruce, but I wanted to be sure…He’s rather vile with the slobber, but we are a bit of a package deal.” She’s talking to me, but still looking at Hayden.
Since no one is looking at me anyway, I kneel down and give Bruce a good fondle, mindful of my panty-free bottom. “He’s great. Bring him on in.” I stand back up and glance nervously at Hayden. “Hayden…you’re coming in, right?”
“Yeah,” he says swallowing and looking at me, finally. His eyes relax in a way that silently says, ‘Hi, it’s been a while.’ I return the same look.
Awkwardly Vi, Hayden and I turn and head back in toward the pub. Hayden looks good. Really good. His coppery blond hair is still messy, but he’s ditched the beard. His eyes look brighter and more youthful. Even his lean body looks like it’s gained back some tone and muscle. This wasn’t how I saw Hayden and my greeting going, but I feel kind of excited that Bruce and Vi seem to be distracting his thoughts.
“Ah, there she is!” Al’s voice calls out from near the bar as the three of us re-enter the pub. “We were looking for you, love.”
Liam strides up to me and immediately locks eyes with Hayden. The two of them watch each other for a moment before Liam sticks out his hand. Hayden looks down at it and smiles as he returns the gesture. “Good of you to come, Hayden.”
“Thanks for the invitation. And congratulations…on everything.” Hayden’s voice is soft, but his eyes are sincere as he gazes at me with a small grin. He nods his head and then turns to join Theo and Leslie at a nearby table.
“It’s time for a toast!” Al says, his eyes twinkling at me with affection. “Come here, lass.” He reaches an arm out in welcome. I grab Liam’s hand and pull him over in front of the bar where Al and my mother are both standing.
“Reyna girl, I’ve wanted you to work here for five years now and I’m a bit brassed off that the only way I could get you to do it was if you were the damn owner!”
Everyone around us starts laughing heartily as I bite my lip in embarrassment. Liam grins and drops a soft kiss on the top of my head.
“At first, I only wanted you here so I could keep a better eye on you. Now that I know you’re in good hands, I’m just happy to have you here because you’re my…daughter.” Alistair’s eyes turn red and he looks away awkwardly. A painful knot forms in my throat and I pull away from Liam and rush Al for a giant hug.
He clears his throat, he adds loudly, “Blimey, let’s not get all soft. This is a party. Cheers everyone!”
“Cheers!” I echo with everyone else. Just before I take a drink, I lock eyes with Hayden who’s smiling at me with all the sincerity he can muster…and I give it right back.
Liam strides over and we clink our champagne flutes and begin finally enjoying ourselves for the night. The evening consists of a lot of drinking and laughing. The wait staff does an excellent job keeping everyone happy and ringing up imaginary bills to ensure the new system we installed runs properly.
As Liam and I stand visiting with Finley, Julie, and Mitch, Hayden joins us and murmurs into my ear, “I’m going to take of
f. It’s a great pub. Congratulations, again.”
Without thinking, I reach out and pull Hayden into a hug. I’m usually so careful around him, but tonight I’m feeling all the feels. His arms around me feel familiar, except for the fact that I don’t smell a whiff of cigarettes anymore. Pulling back, I notice Vilma watching us. Ignoring her penetrative gaze, I tilt my head and say, “I didn’t even get a chance to talk to you tonight. I’ve missed you, Hay. I hope you’re doing well.”
A small huff of a laugh falls on my face as he replies, “I’ve missed you, too, Rey Rey. I’m doing well, though. I’m even doing some of my own design stuff now with Theo.”
“That’s great!” I smile brightly and look over to Liam to see him watching us. A contented smile rests on his lips. “I’d love to catch up some time,” I add. But, before Hayden can reply, Frank interrupts us.
“Well loves, I know I’m the life of this party, but unfortunately I’ve got to dash.” Frank throws an arm around both Liam and Hayden and it’s the most awkward man triangle I’ve ever seen. His red eyebrows rise thoughtfully. “Or fortunately, depending how you look at it. I’ve got a hot date with a bloke named Jerry. He’s in merchandising and no, I won’t tell you what he merchandises,” Frank chortles and Hayden, Liam, and I all erupt into laughter at his naughty expression.
Frank air kisses me on both cheeks and gives a hearty salute to everyone else. Hayden follows and nearly runs into Vi again on their way out the door, Big Bruce in tow.
When the pub finally empties and all the employees have headed home for the night, I walk up to Liam, who’s leaning back against the bar like a damn book cover model.
“Well, we did it.” I reach up and twine my fingers into the hair behind his neck. “We’re legit business owners, Liam.”
His eyes roll briefly at my touch and he responds by lifting me up into a hug and setting me on top of the bar. He kisses me chastely on the lips and replies, “You’re the owner. I’m just your skivvy.”
“We’re getting married in a year and all of that will change then. But skivvy you say? How about sex slave instead? I think we can work with that better.” I waggle my eyebrows playfully.
He tucks my dark hair behind my ears and looks thoughtfully into my eyes. “I know it’s not a bridal boutique like you and Marisa had dreamed up before, but I think this place is perfect for you and me.”
I pause to gaze around the quaint pub that was here to catch me when I fell nearly four years ago. “It so is. I’ve got big plans for this pub.” I tighten my hands around his neck and wrap my legs around his waist. “I’m so ready to get to work and use this damn Oxford education of mine for once!”
Liam’s eyebrows lift knowingly, “I think you’ve got plenty of good use out of that education if you ask me.” He kisses me sweetly on the nose.
“How do you figure?” I ask, happily grinning down at him.
“Well,” he starts, and then pauses as he takes his hands and strokes them down my face and through my hair, reverently staring at my lips while he speaks, “Oxford brought you to me, so that’s a start.”
I stare at his sexy, pouty lips and reply back, “And, thank God for that. Because you are the one for me.”
It’s always sunny at times like these.
Overlooking the Clarke estate on a hilltop, a familiar wooden swing sways on a nearby tree. It has the potential to feel spooky, yet, it doesn’t. Instead, it feels…magical.
A light breeze wafts through my hair and I inhale deeply, closing my eyes and basking in the warmth of the Essex sunlight. I drop down to my knees in the dirt and touch the earth, picturing Marisa in that same yellow sundress she wore in my dream so many years ago.
She stood right here, asking me over and over if I was sorry for what I did. She demanded to know why I did it. “I think deep down, you already know,” she said when I failed to answer her.
I did know. I knew why I let Liam tell me he loved me that day four years ago. I knew why I allowed myself to let go for those few precious hours with him. I knew why I let him see me in a way no one else ever had.
I was in love with him.
Maybe even from the moment I saw him. I fell in love with my best friend’s boyfriend. In my dream, Marisa seemed to already know it, but I was still asleep.
I am very much awake right now.
“I’m getting married tomorrow, Marisa,” my voice wobbles as I speak to the beauty all around me. I glance over at the swing and smile. “I’m getting married tomorrow and I haven’t seen you in so long. You don’t appear in my dreams anymore and I miss you,” my voice breaks at the end and I purse my lips and take a deep breath in.
“I thought maybe if I came out here I could feel you with me. This place you grew up in is beautiful and special. Just like you.” I swallow down the knot in my throat, begging myself not to cry, but knowing it’s pointless.
“You should be standing with me tomorrow, Marisa. You should be right beside me as my maid of honor. My best friend. I want you there.” I sniff loudly, picking up a handful of dirt and tossing it into the breeze.
“That night I dreamt of you, right here…all I wanted to say was I’m sorry. But I don’t want to tell you that today.” I push my hair back away from my face preparing for my speech that I practiced over and over in my head during the drive here. “Today, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for loving me through all my neuroses and for being my first real friend. Thank you for seeing past the mess that I was and helping me see the person I always longed to be.
“But most of all, thank you for Liam. Thank you for bringing him into our lives. He sees me the way you saw me. And it took me a while, but I’m finally seeing myself that way, too.”
I smile sadly as I relive all the mistakes I made. “I did things so wrong and so messed up. With Hayden. With Liam. My Mom. Everyone. And in the end…even you. I’m sure you would have had an epic rant for me about how idiotic I went about things.” I chuckle, picturing her standing in triumph over the whole ordeal. “But, I sincerely believe that my end can trump my beginning.
“And, despite it all, I’m happy. Seriously happy. We’re getting married on Liam’s boat, you know. He named her, The One.” I grin at the memory of the day we came to Cambridge for a weekend and he surprised me with the new paint on the back end. “It’s kind of perfect, right?”
I pause, wishing more than anything that Marisa were sitting right beside me. Sighing heavily, I stand to leave, taking one final look at the Clarke home. “Anyways, I’ll be tossing sunflowers into the river for you tomorrow, Marisa. I’m going to close my eyes and imagine you by my side. You were my real life sister. And my real life angel. Thank you for inspiring me, still.”
I turn to walk back to Liam, who’s waiting patiently for me in the car down the hill.
No more waiting. He’s waited long enough.
The End
Thank you for reading Not The One!
Are you interested in Hayden’s story?
If so, post a review and tell me!
If you’re feeling curious about the secondary characters, you’ll be happy to learn that Finley and Leslie both have stories available and are all a part of the London Lovers Series. Go back and see where it all began with Finley in Becoming Us, a spicy college prequel to the London Lovers Series. Or skip the college prequel and start right inside Frank’s house in London with A Broken Us. Leslie’s standalone is called London Bound.
Read on for a sneak peek of A Broken Us!
Not The One pushed me to a new place in my writing that I have never been before. I was literally scared of my characters. I didn’t know how it was going to end or who Reyna was going to end up with and all of it terrified me. I could not have got through it without the invaluable, incredible, and immeasurable help from several people!
Firstly, my creative sounding boards. My sister, Abby, and my friends, Kelly and Becky. You three read this story as I wrote it, painful chapter by painful chapter. I pretty much sucked the joy out
of the reading experience for you by forcing you to cuddle me through this writing process. Thank you for reading and rereading and pushing me when I needed pushing and cheering me when I needed cheering. I couldn’t have done it without you. For realz.
My sister in law, Megan Daws. Thank you for shooting my most favorite cover and for sharing your dreams with me. They helped me with this story more than you know.
To my editing: Stephanie Rose, Angela Pratt and Laurie. Thank you all for your contributions to my story. Special note to Stephanie: You pushed me to make this story even better and I know I wouldn’t be half as proud of it if I wouldn’t have had you there to help me! And to my proofers: Kirsty and Mercedes for being the final eyes! And Belinda, my British cream puff! Thanks for answering all of my late night Brit-lingo queries!
To my rockin’ beta readers who read a big chunk at the beginning and were kind enough to go back and reread when I sent you like eighteen different drafts in two days. Jaci and Jennifer, thank you for your patience on this story!
To Faith and Stephanie, my two special people who helped me out through the mental illness topics that I faced in this storyline. I had to get this right and I couldn’t have done it without your insights!
To the bloggers that support unconditionally through all my crazy characters. Thanks for being on my team!
To my hubby. I was horrid at estimating how long this book would take me to write. I was in uncharted territories with these characters. Thank you for tolerating my poor time management and not killing me for never showing up on time for dinner or church! And thank you for my nightly fountain Diet Coke’s. Best week of my writing. So worth it.
To my three-year-old, Lorelei Hope. Thanks for coming over and pulling out my ear buds so you could hear what I was listening to. Those special moments are always a welcome distraction when I’m writing. And when those moments erupt into dance parties…that’s pure inspiration.