Fragile Simplicity
A Sweet Haven Trilogy
By Tara Neideffer
This book is a work of fiction. The characters, names, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2015 by Tara Neideffer
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form whatsoever.
Editing Services by Janet Bessey at Dragonfly Editing
Cover designed by Najla Qamber Designs
Formatting by Dead River Books
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.”
- John Green, Looking for Alaska
“Each of us have his own rhythm of suffering.”
- Roland Barthes
For Chuck
The man who stole my heart.
You are my soulmate and my best friend.
Chapter 1
The Letter
The blaring horns and revving motors were beginning to get on Kyleigh’s last nerve as she coasted down Burton Avenue, her foot riding the brake the whole time to keep from rear ending the silver Corolla in front of her. At this rate, it would be another thirty minutes before she got to her apartment across town on Lamar Avenue. Coming to another complete stop, she blew out a frustrated breath and collapsed back into the hot leather seat, not realizing until now how tense she’d been.
Her phone began buzzing, and she felt her heart plummet when her eyes fell on the name and picture across the screen. Brad Ramsey. She squeezed her eyes shut, dreading the call. This was the main reason she was tense. He would not leave her alone. She’d broken up with him months ago and he still texted or called her nonstop. Ignoring the call, she looked down at the long line of cars in front of her and groaned. The day seemed endless.
A few seconds later, her phone buzzed again. He is relentless, she thought. She snatched it up and put it to her ear. “What do you want, Brad?” she hissed.
“Is that any way to talk to someone who is just calling to see how your day went?” His voice came out smooth, but Kyleigh didn’t miss that bite at the end.
“Brad, I’m busy and I’ve had a stressful day. I told you I’m done with you, so I’m not sure why you keep calling,” Kyleigh said, gritting her teeth and forcing the words to come out without wavering. The day he had given her a busted lip and bruised rib when she’d left him, was the day she vowed never to let him see the fear he instilled in her.
“Now, Kyleigh, you know it’s just a matter of time before you come crawling back to me on your hands and knees, literally. I know that time will come and I’ll be waiting patiently with a bottle of Crown and a pack of my favorite cigars.”
“You are disgusting, Brad. Don’t get your hopes up,” Kyleigh snapped as she pushed the end button and tossed her phone over to the passenger’s seat. “Asshole,” she whispered, knowing he was probably laughing to himself, and she wondered what she had ever seen in him. She slid her black sunglasses on and then pushed on the gas as the line of traffic began moving again.
As red brake lights lit up before her, she slammed on the brakes, cursing under her breath at the stop and go traffic. Her phone went off again, causing her to grip the steering wheel in irritation, figuring it was Brad calling back to yell at her for hanging up on him. Debating on answering it, she looked over and saw that it was David.
“Hello,” she said, letting all her emotion show in her low voice.
“Kyleigh?”
“Yeah, David, what’s up?” she asked, scanning the line of shops that lined both sides of Burton Avenue, wishing she was shopping instead of driving in nonstop traffic.
“Are you okay? You sound upset or something.”
His gentle voice replaced the irritation she’d felt from Brad’s harsh, controlling one and she felt her muscles relax. “I’m fine, I just got off the phone with Brad and he always puts me in a bad mood. How was your day?” she asked, cradling the phone against her shoulder.
“I thought you straightened things out with him?” he questioned, his voice forming a hardness that was unlike him.
“I tried, but he won’t get the point and he won’t stop calling me. I told you that. What do you want me to do? If I ignore him, he just keeps calling, sometimes even stopping by. If I answer his calls and play nice with him, then it’s a lot less stressful for me. Sooner or later, he’ll get the point and move on, I promise,” Kyleigh explained, as she began picking up speed down the road, her eyes pinched with irritation at having to explain the situation, again.
“I know Kyleigh, but it’s aggravating that I just have to sit back and do nothing when your ex is harassing you like this. I can’t stand it. I’m telling you, if he doesn’t get the point soon, I’ll end up making sure he gets it. I can’t keep dealing with this forever.”
Rolling her eyes, she said, “Yeah, I know, David. I’m trying my best to take care of it, but you know how Brad is. You know I love you, so please, just give me some time to get this straightened out. It will be a lot easier on me in the long run.”
A long sigh drifted through the phone before he answered, “Yeah, Kyleigh, I know. I’ll do my best to deal with it a while longer. Are you still coming over tonight?”
Feeling more relaxed now that she was finally out of the congested area, she said, “Yes, I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all day.”
“Good, I’ll be home after eight. See ya, Ky.”
“See ya,” she said, finally finding a reason to smile.
The beautiful landscaped entrance to her apartment complex had never looked so good, and she quickly turned the corner into the parking lot, nearly hitting another car head on. Shaking her head at her carelessness, she parked her car and quickly headed over to check her mail.
Pulling out a handful of mail, she stood next to the mailbox as she shuffled through the stack. As her eyes fell on the last envelope, her hand flew to her mouth, almost as if she was containing a scream that had been buried for years. Her body refused to move as her mouth hung open in shock, her mind telling her that what she was seeing couldn’t be real. She stood there staring at the letter, her mind in its own world as everything around her seemed to stand still. Every noise outside seemed to stop and the only sound she heard was the rapid beating of her heart.
Kyleigh gripped the white envelope with enough force that the edges began to crinkle and bend, her shaky hands making the letters bounce almost to the point that the name was unreadable, but even with blurry vision from fresh tears careening down her cheeks, there was no denying whose name was sprawled in a sloppy attempt at cursive handwriting. It was a name she could never forget.
How did he find me? The questioned pu
lsed over and over through her frazzled mind.
She absently reached out and placed her hand against the side of the mailbox for support as all the hurt and fear from so many years ago came crashing back into her. Her body began to tremble as buried emotions and deeply embedded memories lit up her mind like the continuous flash of a camera.
They were too much to handle.
“Oh, God,” she finally choked out as sobs began to take over. She bent forward and placed her hands on her knees as all the emotion fell from her in the form of hot tears. Seconds turned to minutes and time seemed to drag on forever as the past tore through her fragile core. Pain, fear, and anger. All these emotions flooded her body without remorse.
Not knowing how long she’d been like this, she finally gripped the side of the mailboxes and dragged herself upright. Doing so took more effort than it should have, but her body was exhausted from the sudden shock. Wiping her eyes, she looked around, hoping that no one was watching her have this meltdown. With the unopened letter clutched in her hand, she headed to her apartment on unsteady, shaky legs, her eyes counting every crack in the pavement as she tried to fight back more tears.
Stopping in front of her door, she slid the key in and watched as it missed the hole. Tilting her face to the ceiling and sighing, she paused to get control of her nerves. On the third attempt, she finally got the key in. The door swung open, inviting her into the comfort of her home. An empty wine glass and the mystery book she had been reading sat on the coffee table, offering to sweep her away into a fictional land where her current problems didn’t exist. That scenario was tempting, but as she slowly shuffled inside, she knew she’d never be able to relax. She tossed her purse and mail on the small kitchen table, quickly turning her back to avoid the letter that was lying on top and enticing her to open it.
The room seemed small, almost as if that unwelcomed letter was already taking up too much space. Pulling the cabinet open, the first thing her hand touched was a bottle of Crown that Brad, her ex, had left behind. She looked at the bottle in her hand, and thought how ironic it was that the first thing she grabbed for support in this moment was the very thing she believed was responsible for all the problems in her life, including why the letter even had to show up to begin with. She poured the shot anyway and tossed it back, loving the burn of the alcohol as it slid down her throat. She set the glass in the sink and headed for the shower. That tiny bit of alcohol wasn’t enough to take the edge off and she knew she wasn’t in the right state of mind to open that letter right now.
She didn’t know if she ever would be.
***
Her worries didn’t swirl down the drain in the shower as she’d hoped, and Kyleigh soon found herself pacing back and forth past the kitchen table, the letter glaring up at her. The second hand on the antique metal clock ticked loudly against the silence, and she bit her nail as her steps quickened. Part of her was dying to rip that letter open and see what words he thought could compensate for the horrific childhood he gave her, but the other part of her wanted to shred it to pieces and continue to forget it all happened. But now it was here, reminding her of everything.
Walking past the table for the countless time, she paused and reached out, picking up the letter and then slamming it back down. This scenario was repeated several more times before she finally kept the letter in her hand. She looked at the envelope and ran her index finger over the name as she began to pull the corner open. Anxiety and a bundle of painful memories rose within her and she let out a low growl, finally setting the letter on the table for good. Aggravated from the letters presence, she squeezed her eyes shut as frustrated tears wanted to escape. She wasn’t ready to deal with this yet. It was too much. She drew her foot up and rubbed her sole. She didn’t know how long she’d been pacing, but her feet were beginning to ache. “Forget this,” she murmured as she flipped the letter over so the name was no longer visible. Glancing at the clock, she grabbed her purse and decided to go to David’s. The letter would be waiting for her when she was ready to open it.
If she was ever ready.
Pulling into his driveway, she glanced through her front windshield and was met with only a dark house. But she saw his truck in front of the garage so that was a good sign. He said he’d be home and she needed him to be home. She needed for him to wrap his arms around her, pull her close, and tell her everything would be all right. It didn’t matter that he had no clue what secrets she held deep inside, all that mattered was his strength right now. No one knew her past and she wouldn’t know where to start.
The sound of buzzing brought her attention away from the house and she looked down to see her phone lit up with Paige’s bright, smiling face. Stuffing the phone into her purse unanswered, she gripped the handle and swung the door open, heading up the sidewalk to David’s home. She’d talk to Paige later, right now, she needed David.
Slipping the key he had given her into the lock, she quietly clicked it open, hearing the low murmur of the TV upstairs. She set her purse down on the couch, and not seeing any sign of him on the main level, she took the stairs up to his room.
Following the glow that spilled out into the hall from the TV, she made her way to his bedroom door. As she paused in the doorway, she saw him lying on his side, the light snoring and the slow, rise and fall of his body indicating that he was sound asleep. She entered the room, and her eyes fell on the empty liquor bottles that had accumulated on his nightstand. Her heart sank, knowing his drinking was getting out of control.
She slid her jeans off and then undid her bra, leaving her fitted cotton tee and panties on, and climbed under the covers with him. She pressed herself against his back, relishing the warmth and security of his strong body. She felt his muscles stiffen when her arms tightened around his waist, and then a low noise came from deep in his throat as he turned to face her.
“Kyleigh?” he murmured, his deep brown eyes scanning her face, almost as if he expected her to be a dream.
“Hey,” she breathed, squeezing him closer as she rested her chin on his shoulder.
“I didn’t think you were coming,” he said as he brushed a kiss on her forehead.
Her eyes involuntarily closed at the tenderness in his touch before she replied. “I was running behind and I almost didn’t come by because it was so late, but I needed to be with you tonight.”
A smile formed, making his sleep ridden face look more awake. “That’s a good answer,” he said, turning to face her. “Everything okay?”
As she buried her face in his bare chest, a woodsy scent vaguely came to mind, reminding her of playing in the woods as a child, carefree and happy, before things had turned bad. She clenched her teeth together and gave him a slight nod; it was the only way she could respond at the moment. She couldn’t say she was okay; those words were lost to her right now.
As if sensing her unease, his arms went around her, pulling her even tighter. “I’m glad you stopped by,” he whispered, beneath the low rumble of the TV. “I needed you here, too.”
Tilting her head up, their lips met with an urgency that came out of nowhere, almost as if what they needed could be found from the taste and feel of each other’s lips. The weight of his lips made her feel alive and grounded, as if the past made no difference because she was here with David in this moment and she was okay now.
“This is why I’m glad you stopped by, Kyleigh. You wake me up out of my darkest night with nothing but a soft touch of your hand and the feel of your lips against mine,” he said as he pushed her flat against the bed, his elbows on each side as he concentrated on her wet lips.
She studied his face, seeing familiarity in the depths of his brown eyes. Whatever secrets he was holding onto were barely noticeable, but she knew there was something down in the bottom of his soul that he had yet to let free. She saw it because she saw the same darkness every time she looked in the mirror. Maybe he would tell her, in time, but they were his secrets to share when the time was right, and she would never push hi
m to tell her. Just like she had her own and would tell someone when that time was right. Secrets had a way of tying your soul down with invisible ropes and holding you captive, and it took a special person to see those ropes and help you untie them.
“That is why we are perfect together. We both have what the other needs and we aren’t afraid to give it to one another.” Her soft voice was barely audible over the roar of the TV, but when he licked his lips and brought them to her mouth, she knew there was no denying that he’d heard her.
Gripping his hair and wrapping her legs around his bare waist, she threw her head against the pillow and lost herself in his arms for the rest of the night.
Chapter 2
Buried Memories
Darkness saturated the room as the sound of screaming thundered against the bedroom walls, rattling picture frames and bringing the little girl out of a deep sleep. Her legs began to quiver and she pulled them up to her chest, pulling her pink comforter up over her head in a weak attempt to block out the noise. The yelling began to escalate and she threw her tiny hands over her ears and began to hum the familiar tune that she would recite on nights like these. Her voice vibrated, rising and falling with each note, in perfect rhythm to the song. She squeezed her eyes shut and let her mind drift to the soothing melody that always reminded her of a cheerful, sunny day.
As she hummed the last note of the song, she paused, slowly taking her hands away from her ears. She tilted her head to listen to the unnatural silence that stood in the house. She held her breath for as long as she could, hoping to hear a low murmur or giggle, anything that told her things were now okay. But only silence clung in the stale, warm air.
She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and shoved the covers off, sliding her cold, bare feet into her fuzzy purple slippers. Inching quietly to the door, she opened it just enough to see through the small crack and down the quiet hallway. Eerie silence was the only thing that stood in front of her.
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