“Yeah, I thought about it. I just don’t know who I want to hire. I’ll probably look into it this week because I definitely need to catch up.”
Standing up on her tiptoes, she reached up and gave him a kiss. “I have to go. I need to get home and clean my apartment and get things ready for the week. I work every day this week, unfortunately.”
He pulled her into a hug and kissed her. “Okay, I’ll call you later tonight.”
“All right, get this work done, so you’re not so stressed,” she called over her shoulder as she headed out the door.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, kneeling down as he began his duty of playing catch up, but feeling better and more focused than ever. He didn’t know if it was the fact that he’d promised Kyleigh he’d slow down on the drinking or if it was her support. Either way, he now felt like he could accomplish his goal this week.
Chapter 7
Revisiting the Past
Stepping on the gas, Kyleigh drove home on auto pilot, letting her mind wander to everything that had been going on lately. Last night was crazy, she didn’t know what had gone off in David’s mind causing him to snap like that, but she knew she didn’t like it one bit. And then dealing with Brad’s continuing phone calls¸ he’d left a little more than a dozen messages and texts last night, was beyond aggravating. And now she needed to make a decision about the haunting question in that letter. Even though she’d slept in some, stress was already bringing her down.
There was something that had been nagging at her lately, ever since she’d gotten that letter. She had been curious as to how her father had found her, considering she had an unlisted number and made sure she wasn’t in the phone book. There was only one person who could have told him. Her Aunt Judy. The woman who had raised her. The woman who had taken over when her mother couldn’t. The woman who had stuck by her side through all the nightmares, anxiety attacks, therapy appointments... everything. She was the woman Kyleigh had counted on to keep her safe, and it had never crossed her mind that later on down the road she would throw her back into the fire. It blew her mind, considering her aunt was just as heartbroken as she had been over the whole incident, but there was no one else who would have had known where she lived now, because she never talked to the few people on his side of the family who were still alive. She didn’t even know for sure if those people were still around, or if they were all in prison too. Her father’s side of the family was probably just as crazy as he was. And she had cut ties with her old friends, telling herself she’d make new ones in Sweet Haven, and she had.
And she never talked about her past to anyone at all. One of the reasons why she had wanted to move to the city of Sweet Haven, Tennessee, was to get lost in the crowd. She had grown up in the small town of Avies after the age of thirteen, after the incident had happened, so no one knew her past. It had been her Aunt Judy’s decision to move there once she had gone to live with her. She had told Kyleigh that they were going to start fresh, move to a town where they could blend in and no one would know her story, and she could grow up as normal as possible. It had been a nice town, but she’d still had problems, had to go to therapy, and was ready to start fresh, yet again, after she graduated the nursing program. Now, her past was catching up with her, again, and for once, she was terrified it had actually caught her. She was tired of running, tired of playing hide and seek, and tired of carrying this baggage around with her to each town, hoping no one noticed what she held onto.
Sometimes she just wanted to blurt everything out to someone and hope it would lift some of the weight she was carrying. She had even pictured herself telling a complete stranger. It would be easier that way. They wouldn’t know her, and she would never have to see them again. She could just release everything to them and let them walk away with all her grief. But, she held tight to that urge, still scared that once she started spilling everything, she would fall into an emotional drop off that was even worse than what she was dealing with already. So, for now, she felt that it was safer to keep everything bottled in.
As she got to her house, she knew she needed to find out once and for all if her thoughts were right. She opened the car door and headed up to her apartment, wanting to change her clothes and freshen up. She had made up her mind that she was going to pay her Aunt Judy a visit today, and see if there was anything she had to tell her. She had just seen her aunt a couple of weeks ago, and she never mentioned anything about talking to her father.
***
The hour drive to Avies went by a lot quicker than she thought it would, and before she knew it, she was coming down Main St., into the heart of the small, cozy town. The tiny ice cream shop, Lickety Split, caught her attention with its bright blue and white paint and old metal flashing sign. It still hadn’t changed; looking like it came straight from the seventies. The place was in need of some repairs, with a couple of letters not lighting up on the huge sign out front, and the overgrown landscaping that surrounded the building. The memory of fumbling around at her first job shot through her mind. At sixteen, she had been a nervous wreck the first day, but quickly adjusted and found her place in the routine of the business.
Coming up on Rose Avenue, Kyleigh felt her chest tighten with anxiety. She hated talking about her past. Her aunt had to know she was putting her in harm’s way. If not physically, then definitely mentally.
She saw the small limestone home on her left, the small yard displayed plenty of colorful flowers, and a mix of different stone animals resided in the flower beds. She never understood why her aunt liked those animals, but she did. There were the two geese that stood by the porch, proudly wearing their flowered outfits. She couldn’t control the laugh, despite the anger she had. The geese had always looked ridiculous dressed up like that, but her aunt didn’t care. She was as stubborn as they came, and if she liked something, she liked it no matter what anyone else thought.
Pulling into the driveway, she took a deep breath, and ran a hand through her hair. Not one for surprises, her aunt hated when someone stopped by unannounced, but Kyleigh didn’t really care at the moment. She just wanted answers.
She got out of the car, flipped her black sunglasses up onto her head, and walked slowly up the sidewalk, taking in the fresh smell of the various roses that lined each side. Just as she had her hand to the door, about ready to knock, her aunt swung the door open, a shocked expression covering her aging face.
They stared at each other for a brief second. Kyleigh taking in her aunt’s graying hair and the wrinkles that were beginning to caress her cheeks and eyes; and her aunt taking in the girl on her doorstep she had raised as her own.
Her aunt’s hand flew to her chest as she said, “Kyleigh! Oh my God, what are you doing here? Is everything okay? You usually call first. Come here and give me a hug.”
Before Kyleigh could respond, her aunt’s thin arms were wrapped around her, squeezing her tight. Even though she was angry at her at the moment, she still loved her aunt, and hugged her back, closing her eyes at the familiar scent that reminded her of the good parts of her childhood. Her aunt always smelled the same, like a mixture of mint and vanilla. Kyleigh assumed the vanilla smell was from all the baking her aunt loved to do, and the mint had to come from the peppermint candy she always had to have in her mouth.
“Hi, Aunt Judy,” Kyleigh mumbled against her aunt’s mop of salt and pepper colored hair.
Her aunt pushed her back to arm’s length as she looked her up and down, as if checking for any injuries, and reminding Kyleigh of all the times, she had done this when she was younger. Finally, she said, “I wasn’t expecting you today, come in and tell me what’s going on.”
Kyleigh followed her inside the house which was full of natural light and smelling like fresh baked bread. She breathed the smell in, wishing she had received her aunt’s talent for baking.
They took a seat in the living room, Kyleigh on the flowered loveseat that had been here since she first moved in with her aunt thirteen years ago, and her aunt on
the larger couch, facing her. Kyleigh gave her a tentative smile, not sure how to start her question.
“Tell me, dear, what’s going on. I’m beyond happy to see you, but I can tell that something’s on your mind. Are you okay?” her aunt asked, worry taking over her light skinned face.
Kyleigh bit her lip and looked out the large picture window that showed the huge flower garden out back, and then decided to just ask the question point blank. She brought her attention back to her aunt, and asked, “Aunt Judy, I received a letter the other day from my father. Did you give him my address?”
She watched as her aunt pursed her lips together, almost where they completely disappeared before she said, “Yes, dear, I did. I hope you’re not mad at me.”
Kyleigh knew that was the answer she was going to hear, but it still angered her to no end. What was her aunt thinking? She had to control the anger that wanted to rush out, because she didn’t want to lash out at her, not knowing yet what her reasoning was. She gritted her teeth and felt her cheeks radiate with heat as she said in a quiet voice, “Why would you do that when you know I was trying to keep myself away from him? When you know how difficult that situation was and all the heartache I have gone through.”
Her aunt began to wring her hands together nervously, and not quite meeting her eyes, she said, “Kyleigh, I just thought it was time for you to try to forgive him, to make peace with what he’s done, so that maybe it will help you move on in life. He has changed since he’s been in prison, and if you would talk to him, you’d see that.”
Kyleigh’s face fell in shock, her mouth gaping open as she tried to fathom what her aunt had just said. She narrowed her eyes at her aunt sitting in front of her. Who was this normally stubborn woman who rarely gave people second chances? She thought. She slowly closed her mouth and said, “Have you been talking to him?”
Her aunt straightened and pushed her shoulders back, showing the defiance that was more of who she was, and said, “Yes, Kyleigh, I have and it’s about time you do, too. Holding on to a grudge does nothing but hold you back in life. It took me a long time to realize that, and I don’t want you to have that same burden for the rest of your life, and I don’t want you to wake up one day wishing you could have taken all that time back.”
Kyleigh snorted and covered her mouth, not believing what her aunt was saying. This whole situation was almost as unreal as what her father had done. Shaking her head she stood, her finger unleashing all the blame towards her aunt, as she said, “Unbelievable, Aunt Judy. You’re actually going to forgive someone who killed your sister. You’re almost as crazy as he is. He was an abusive, crazy, worthless piece of shit who killed my mother, with me in the house, and you want me to forgive him! I was only nine years old! Never in my life will I forgive him, and you’re probably the reason why he wrote me that letter. He probably couldn’t care less for my forgiveness; you probably put him up to it, thinking it would be good therapy for me. Well, guess what, you’re wrong. I’m doing just fine, and forgiving that bastard will not take anything off my shoulders.” Yelling at her aunt made her feel sick to her stomach, but dammit if she wasn’t tired of dealing with all the bullshit her father put her through. She had been trying to forget him all these years, but it never lasted long; it seemed that something always brought the past up.
Even with her aunt’s eyes downcast, Kyleigh saw the hurt and pain she was trying to conceal. Her hands were placed neatly on her lap as she remained quiet, and yelling at her aunt like that broke her heart in two. She didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but it wasn’t her aunt’s place to make that decision for her, even if she thought it was for her own good.
She sucked in a deep breath, wiped at the tears that had come unnoticed, until now. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, but it wasn’t your place to give him my personal information. You should have talked to me about it first to see how I felt about it,” Kyleigh said, her voice coming out low and ragged. “I need some fresh air for a minute,” she said as she walked past her aunt and out the back patio door that lead to the deck, leaving her aunt sitting on the couch.
Kyleigh walked outside and leaned against the railing of the worn out deck, her mind racing with so many emotions. Her aunt had really put her nose where it didn’t belong and now she had a huge decision to make. She knew she could just ignore the letter all together, but now that it was here, and now that she knew her father was seeking forgiveness from her, a part of her wanted to find out what he had to say. But her heart was telling her she was not staying true to her mother. He killed her mother and she was thinking about telling him it was okay? What was wrong with her? It didn’t seem right to her, but somehow her aunt had made herself believe it was the right thing to do.
Tears dripped down onto the railing of the deck as she looked out into the beautiful flower garden where she had spent many summers. The calmness of living with her aunt was a drastic difference compared to growing up with her mom and dad. She could still hear all the fighting and yelling in the back of her mind, almost as if it was yesterday.
It had been a rough start, but when she moved in with her aunt, life eventually got better. It had taken a while, but her aunt had been a huge help in her therapy. Did she really want to dig up all the horrible memories again just to hear that bastard out? She didn’t think so. She didn’t think she could go through with it. She also didn’t think her fragile mind could handle it. He had already put her through enough; forgiving him was crossing the line.
She stood outside for a while, soaking up the sun and wishing the wind would carry her troubles away. It was nice out here. It made her miss this town, miss her aunt, and miss the simple life away from the city. Her life had become busy since she moved to Sweet Haven. And at times that was what helped her cope with her inner turmoil. But being out here, enjoying her aunt’s beautiful garden and large yard, and getting away from the loud noises of the busy streets, made her feel free. Even though she had decisions to make, the fresh air made it easier to deal with.
Sliding the patio door open, she walked into a quiet living room to find her aunt reading a book, and she realized she must have been outside a lot longer than she thought.
Her aunt set her book down and gave her a serious look. “Kyleigh, I know you’re scared of him, and you have every right to be, but I can tell he’s changed. I just don’t want you to have any regrets. He really does want your forgiveness, he’s the one who brought it up first, and I wasn’t going to give him your personal information, but he just wanted to write you one letter and I didn’t see any harm in that.”
She watched her aunt get up and look outside the window, her long hair draped over one shoulder and her eyes fixed on the flowers outside. Kyleigh sighed, knowing she couldn’t stay mad at her aunt. “It’s okay, Aunt Judy, I’m not mad at you anymore, I’m angry at what you did, but I’m not mad at you. Thinking about what my father did is just a hard thing to deal with and I’m not sure I can ever forgive him.”
Her aunt nodded slightly, and as she turned to face her, she said, “Just think about it, please?”
Kyleigh found herself nodding, even though that wasn’t something she could see herself doing, but the pleading look in her aunt’s eyes gave her the only reason to consider it. For some reason it was important to her and if she could forgive him for murdering her sister, Kyleigh thought that maybe, one day, she could find it in herself to forgive him.
But she knew that day was a long way away.
Chapter 8
A Changed Man?
With most of the tension between them gone, Kyleigh relaxed back against the old couch, crossing her legs as she eyed her aunt. Curiosity was taking hold of her, and since her aunt had been in contact with her father, she was dying to ask questions about him. Was he really a changed man?
“So, Aunt Judy, how often do you and my father talk?” she asked, bouncing her leg up and down nervously. She didn’t know why she was so anxious, but even talking about the man made her nervous.
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p; She watched her aunt’s small hands comb through her long hair, bringing it all over her right shoulder as she thought about the answer. “Oh, I don’t know for sure, probably just once or twice a month. He doesn’t have anyone outside of that prison, and so I take his calls,” she said with a laugh. “Look, Kyleigh, I miss your mother terribly, and so does your father, but people really do change and life does go on whether we want it to or not. The past will always be the past, but it’s how you look at your future that makes all the difference. He knows he can’t take back what he did, and it’s something that he has to live with for the rest of his life. He’ll die in prison, and he knows it’s what he deserves. He’s not asking for you to help him get out, or to give him money, he’s just asking for a chance to make amends with you.”
Kyleigh slowed her bouncing leg, letting her words soak in. “I’m just not sure how much a person can really change after they intentionally murder someone. And it’s not like it was a stranger, Aunt Judy, this was his wife. The woman he supposedly loved. It’s just hard to let that slide.” She felt tears welling up again, and looked away, wishing she could stop them, but she had no control and they began to fall. She’d had thirteen years to get hold of herself, she should be better at dealing with this by now. But the truth was, she didn’t think she could ever get control over her emotions when it came to this topic. She missed her mom too much.
“Kyleigh, dear, I’m so sorry that you’ve had to deal with all this. It’s been a hard life for you.”
She felt the couch dip down with her aunt’s weight, and before she knew it, her aunt was wrapping her arms around her and holding her against her body. Kyleigh began sobbing harder, not able to stop it, and then she heard her aunt softly crying. She didn’t know how long they sat there, holding each other and crying for a past they couldn’t change, but once their tears began to slowly dry, her aunt pulled away and grabbed a Kleenex from the end table.
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