by London Casey
“Jesus Christ, Evan,” his voice echoed. “Get a drink. Find a woman.”
“You go home,” I said. “Take your calendar and buy some fancy lotion.”
Uncle Davey turned the lights back on and started to walk toward me. I thought about meeting him halfway, but I said fuck it. I leaned against the counter and folded my arms.
Uncle Davey shuffled his way to the fridge and opened it. He grabbed two bottles of beer and slammed the fridge shut. He walked the rest of the way toward me like a slug, inch by fucking inch, wasting seconds off my life.
He slammed the two bottles on the table where I had been working.
“I’m gunna tell you a story,” he said.
“Great,” I said.
“You better wise up soon or I’m going wrap this cane around your head.”
I gritted my teeth.
Fair enough, old man.
“Can I at least have a beer?”
Uncle Davey nodded.
I took one of the beers and twisted off the cap.
The first swig was always the best.
“I let one slip away,” Uncle Davey said. “Years and years ago. She was too good for me, Evan. Or I thought she was. She was obsessed with me. Her family had a little money. Her father was a businessman. He actually liked me. Go figure. Here I was, this poor kid trying to work a wrench and save enough to take his daughter out on a date. Right? I remember one night he sat me down and wanted to know how I felt about his daughter. I thought it was the talk where he would tell me to stay away. But he told me he wanted happiness. For everyone. You know, he offered me a job? Offered me and her a chance to move just outside Erie. I would run one of his factories. Great job. I’d be pulled right into the family business.”
“What happened?” I asked.
Uncle Davey lifted a greasy, crooked finger and touched the side of his head. “This. My brain. My head. A deep sense of stupid pride, Evan. I didn’t want a handout. That’s what I said. Over and over. Caused problems between me and her. I insulted her father. Then he moved her away. Took her away. At least that’s what I felt he did. Truthfully, he moved his family where he needed to be. Guess where?”
“Outside Erie,” I said.
“Bingo. He wanted me there so me and his daughter wouldn’t be apart. I was stubborn. Foolish. Goddamn thick blood running through our veins, Evan. Makes us do stupid things.”
“So what happened, Uncle Davey?”
“I drove out there. What a fucking drive that was. My truck broke down every fifty miles. Took me forever. I got out there to see her and… I lost my chance, Evan. She was being courted by another man.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. Good looking man in a suit.”
“And that stopped you?”
“I thought about punching the guy out. But I thought about what her father said. Happiness. She looked happy. So I left. And that was that.”
“You never saw her again?”
“I looked her up a few times. She had five kids with that man. Her father died in a plane accident. So that man took over the business. Sold most of it for a lot of damn money. So he could spend time with his family. Last I knew, they were somewhere in California. Not even sure if she’s still alive or not. Not that it matters.”
“For the record, she would have been better off with you,” I said.
“Yeah. Sure. Look at this empire of mine.”
“I don’t think money and all that shit matters when you find the right one.”
“She found the right one.”
“Maybe she just found another one,” I said.
Uncle Davey slapped his cane off the table. It boomed with a thundering echo. “Why the fuck do you think I’m talking to you? Huh? Don’t be stupid, Evan. You’re not going to live in this shop and let time waste away. There’s been enough years wasted in these bricks.”
“Fine. I quit.”
“I’m gunna walk around that table and smack some sense into you.”
“Bring it,” I said. I pointed to the other beer. “Or maybe just have your beer and go home.”
“That one is yours too,” Uncle Davey said. “I know you’re too stubborn to do what I say.”
“Then why waste your time and mine talking?”
“So I could say I fucking tried, Evan,” he growled. “Goddamn fool.”
He turned with a scowl on his face… but there was a quick fraction of a second where I thought I saw him smirk. I watched as Uncle Davey walked away, leaving the door open behind him.
I stared at my bottle of beer. I picked at the label, curling my lip. See, I never had a father to guide me through life. I barely even had a mother, too. I was more of a hinderance to everyone I met and masked that by being the cool guy. The dumb ass willing to do anything for a cheap smile.
Sometimes Uncle Davey told stories just to tell them. Sometimes they had a deeper meaning. So what the hell had he been trying to tell me? That I should go after Adena? Figure things out? Then again, what if she found her so-called other one and had a good life?
The first beer went down fast. I stared at the second bottle and knew that was a test. If I had that one, I’d go for another. And I’d end up sleeping here. Right here at work. Alone. In an old building filled with ghosts. Or I could pass up that beer and do…
“What?” I whispered.
I looked around the shop.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do?”
It wasn’t exactly the fate I could have hoped for, but as I twisted the cap off that second beer, my decision made, something happened.
My phone started to ring.
A number on the screen I didn’t know.
Something told me to answer it…
Chapter Twenty
(The Secret in My Closet)
YEARS AGO
(Adena)
I got home to them fighting. I heard Aunt Beth’s voice from the sidewalk. I heard the squawk of Anna’s voice, guilty as sin but always willing to defend herself. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and listened.
“You cannot just decide when you want to go or not,” Aunt Beth yelled.
“Why the fuck not? I know what I’m doing with my life.”
“You don’t know a thing about life!”
“Oh, and you do? Look at yours!”
“Picking up after you,” Aunt Beth yelled.
“Then maybe I should leave. Huh? I have plenty of people who want me.”
“For the wrong reasons,” Aunt Beth said. “Why can’t you see that? And if you keep skipping…”
I walked up the stairs.
The same fight.
Anna skipping school. Legal action being threatened against Aunt Beth. They’d fight for a while and Anna would leave. She’d be gone for hours, a day or two, and then just when you were ready to break… she’d show up. She’d show up to school. She’d be calmer. Pay attention. Go to all her classes. Give a damn for about a week. Then it would slowly unravel. It wasn’t the mind games that hurt the most… it was the way Aunt Beth looked at us. During those calm times, Aunt Beth would look at both of us. She’d actually see me, which was rare (and totally not her fault). I could see it in her eyes that it was all she ever wanted. But it was all a giant lie.
What wasn’t a lie was in my bedroom. I threw my bag to the bed and hurried to the closet. I opened the sliding wood doors and saw the dress. The Dress. That’s what I referred to it as. Yeah, I was the weird one who bought a dress without a date. And, yeah, my plan to have a date may have had a couple hiccups… but the thing was… if the fight downstairs was real, and continued, Anna would get banned from the dance. Or if Anna got into any trouble in school, she would get banned. Which meant this was going to happen. She’d get banned from the dance. And the later it happened, the better. Because then Evan would get left high and dry.
That’s when I…
I reached for the dress, biting my lip. It was as beautiful as the day I saw it in the window. Every stitch. The hidden purple
color within it.
I never cared about this stuff before. Dresses, dances, dressing up. All that crap. But this was going to be my last shot. Prom meant a lot of things to a lot of people. The biggest dance of the year. Those graduating (like me) would never have another, unless they were invited back, which was just goofy if you asked me.
Nobody had seen the dress except me and Riley. I wanted to keep it that way. I wanted to pick the right time and put the dress on and show Aunt Beth. Get word back to Evan. And then…
My door flew open.
I quickly shut the closet doors.
I spun around, my back against the doors. Now I looked guilty as sin.
“I hate that bitch,” Anna growled.
“Hey,” I said. “What’s… what’s wrong?”
“I don’t get it. Geometry? Seriously? When do I need that in life?”
I licked my lips. “Anna, you just have to do it. Tell you what… I have all my old notebooks.”
“With homework?” she asked. “Test answers?”
She closed in on me.
“Homework, yes,” I said. “Not sure about tests. I might have some of them. You know me. I save everything.”
“You’re like an old lady,” Anna said. “I love it. Yes. This is perfect. You give me all the class notes, Adena. Why didn’t I think of this sooner?”
“I thought of it,” I whispered.
“Yes you did. Look at you, you badass rebel.”
“Hey,” I said. “You can’t take the notes and stuff to school. Okay?”
Here’s the thing… I should have known better. Anna wouldn’t only take the notebooks to school but she would sell the notes. Sell copies. To buy… whatever. She would leave my name on the notes. I wouldn’t get to walk during graduation. My diploma would be held up for two months as the school investigated. Until finally, Anna would admit she stole the notes from me. Which put her in the hot seat, but at least I graduated.
Fucking notes…
“Hey, what’s that?” Anna asked.
She grabbed my arm and shoved me out of the way. I looked in horror. When I shut the door, I had caught a piece of the dress.
Before I could take a breath, Anna opened the closet.
“Ohmygod… look at this dress…”
“I bought it,” I said. “For me.”
Anna glanced at me. “You bought this? For you? You’re going to the dance? You’re going to your prom?”
“I plan on it,” I said.
“With who?”
“Doesn’t matter,” I said.
Anna raised an eyebrow. “Right. Hey, can I try this on?”
“What? No.”
“Seriously?” Anna curled her lip. “Oh, so you’re going to be a bitch to me now too? What’s with this house? You and Beth always gang up on me. Treat me like a fucking child.”
Because you act like one.
“That’s my dress…”
“Oh, God, you’re such a princess,” Anna said. She reached into the closet and pulled the dress out. She held it against her body. “Look. I bet it would fit me. I mean, you’re totally thick and all…”
Great. Another fat joke. Thanks, Anna.
“I don’t think…”
“Shut up,” Anna said.
She turned and draped the dress over the bed. She wasted no time in stripping herself down to her bra and panties. I looked at her flat stomach and gritted my teeth. I touched my stomach. I hated that she could look like that. Maybe I needed to do what she did. Cigarettes, drinking, drugs… what a way to keep a lean figure.
I watched as Anna began to put the dress on.
My dress. My damn dress. The dress I worked for. The dress I paid for.
I swallowed the anger.
It was only a one time thing. She’d put it on now and then take it off and never touch it again.
Oh… I was so, so wrong about that…
Chapter Twenty-One
(Memories in the Trash)
NOW
(Adena)
“Hey, I’m going to take off soon,” Riley said.
Bad enough I had already been ditched by Chloe and Leah. They wanted me to go out with them. Head to the bar for a few drinks and flirt with some cute guys. It wasn’t the worst idea in the world but I just didn’t feel like it. I could always count on Riley to stay with me.
Or so I thought.
“What am I going to do now?” I asked her.
I had tried to be all proper and womanly like with a bottle of wine and some cheese and crackers. The cheese was gone. The wine barely touched. But plenty of the hard stuff and beer had been consumed. At the end of the day, no matter how old we got or how dressed up and how much we pretended to be proper women, we were still a group of friends from a shit hole small town who all grew up struggling to survive. Which meant a cold beer had a better taste and feel than some room temperature wine that was bitter.
“Whatever you want to do,” Riley said. She had been drinking iced tea, her usual, but without whiskey in it. I should have known she was leaving. “I mean that, too. Why don’t you think about opening another business?”
“Please. How did the first one work out?”
“Oh, please yourself,” Riley said. She stood up. “You know why that business failed. And it didn’t fail. You were successful. People loved you. So you didn’t fail, Adena. You have to move forward. Move on.”
“To work for Mary Anne. And I’m pretty sure I’m fired.”
“Okay, first of all, she gave you a check for a week’s worth of pay,” Riley said. “Cash that thing and breathe. Second, you got to get back at Liz. I can’t believe that see-you-next-Tuesday has the nerve to still be in this town.”
I smiled. “Good points. Keep going.”
Riley walked to me as I sat curled up in the corner of the couch. She crouched and grabbed my knees. “Adena, I can’t fix anything. Nobody can do that. Only you can. Chloe and Leah went out to have fun. I actually have a date.”
“What? Really?”
“Yeah. I pushed it back until nine. So I have to go get ready.”
“Well now I feel like an idiot.”
“Don’t,” she said. “I’m here for you. You shouldn’t have gone to work when you did.”
I looked away.
Riley saved my butt the other day after everything went down. I went to her place and slept there for two nights. Until she gently coaxed me out of her apartment by walking me to the door and telling me to go home.
This was my first night back home and I couldn’t do it alone.
“I’m sure you and Mary Anne will figure things out,” Riley said. “Time and space. Let both do their job, Adena. You’re on edge because you’ve always been a protector. You’ve always had a built-in excuse.”
“What?”
“Think about it. Anything that went wrong, it was Anna’s fault. Anything that went wrong in your life, you could point to her. Not anymore. So figure out what you want. You could sell this house and pocket the money. Start over. Pay everything off you owe. Get a small apartment in another town. Work at a cafe and take in the sights and sounds. Right?”
“You make it sound so easy,” I said. “None of us have gotten out of this town, Riley.”
She nodded. “That’s true. But out of everyone I know, you’re the strongest.”
I blinked fast. “Thanks.” I sucked in a breath and sighed. “Okay, enough about me. Tell me about this date. I want details.”
Riley rolled her eyes. “Well, I haven’t been on a date in a long time. So I’m sort of nervous.”
“If it’s any consolation… I’m not sure I’ve ever been on a date in my entire life.”
“No offense, but that’s your fault,” Riley said with a grin.
“Yeah, yeah. Are you done crapping on me?”
“Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?”
“Don’t think I won’t slap you.”
“You can try.”
“Hey. Let’s do it in our pan
ties. And then we can use our phones to record it. Then we can become famous.”
“Now you sound like your sister,” Riley said.
Then she frowned.
There was silence.
“Shit,” she whispered.
“It’s fine,” I said. “I think I’m expecting her to come through the door at some point.”
“I understand that. And you know she never will. I’ll stay. I can change my date…”
“Hell no,” I said. “Go. Now. Go have fun. Get freaky.”
“Freaky,” Riley said. “You just said freaky…”
I shrugged my shoulders. “What?”
“I think you’re the one that needs to get freaky…”
Riley stood up and winked.
When she left, I sat there alone, thinking.
There was one thing on my mind.
I grabbed my phone and thanks to the internet I was able to find a certain custom welding business. And that business had a phone number. That business also had a cell number. With a name next to it.
“No,” I said.
I got off the couch and decided…
Anna obviously wasn’t going to come home. Yet all her stuff was still here.
I was going to clean out all her stuff and rearrange the room.
Anna would never leave my memory… but it was time she left this house for good.
I played all those cheesy 90’s songs I used to sing to in my van when I had the bakery. And that bottle of wine I opened to try and appear to be classy? I had that more than half gone in no time. Which meant my brain tried to tell me I was a better singer than I really was.
The stuff I found of Anna’s was mostly junk. Half empty packs of cigarettes. Lighters. Empty lighters. Clothes that smelled funky. I ended up just getting a trash bag and throwing things out. A few times I felt my chest tighten with hurt but I refused to cry. I wasn’t going to cry for Anna. She was gone. I wasn’t. She did all of this to herself. Blaming the world for what happened to our parents wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. Even though it got to her so badly…
I see Anna steal an apple from the basket on the counter. Aunt Beth will be happy since all Anna wants is sugar. Cereal. Candy. Soda. She’s too young for that stuff but I think Aunt Beth just doesn’t know what to do. She never had kids before us. She was always just the fun aunt. But now she was a parent-aunt.