by London Casey
It made me ask what could have been an even more important question.
Was there anything else from the past Evan was hiding from me?
Chapter Forty
(It’s Just a Damn Lock)
NOW
(Evan)
Mike opened the door and waved me inside. “Don’t mind the mess, man. I’m behind on shit like crazy right now.”
The table was covered in papers in what looked like an all too familiar mess. Paperwork was the worst fucking part of anything business related. Even for a guy like Mike who took over the family plumbing business, he couldn’t escape the hell of invoices, payables, receivables, and whatever other nonsense waited.
As Mike started to clear a spot at the table, I grabbed his shoulder. “Don’t bother. I know how this goes. It falls on your shoulders, huh?”
“I own the company now.”
“Right. Well, I know how it feels.”
“You miss a week or two and it explodes.”
“Yup,” I said. “My uncle doesn’t believe in paperwork. He does handshakes and hard work. Sounds good in theory in that tough cowboy way, but in reality, it’s not how it works.”
“I spent a couple days visiting my old man,” Mike said. “He was having a rough go. Asking for my mother. Confused as anything. Even with me there… it helped but not much. I finally got to a point where I said I had to leave. I couldn’t see it.”
“Fuck,” I said. “I’m so sorry, man. There’s nothing they can do?”
“No. It’s just about trying to keep him comfortable and wait it all out.”
“Wait it all out?”
“Yeah. Wait for him to die.”
Mike shoved some papers away and walked to the kitchen. He went to the fridge and grabbed two beers. It was just like when I first came back to town for Anna’s funeral.
I felt bad for Mike. I felt bad for anyone who got trapped in this town. That included Adena. Which was why I took the beer from Mike and twisted off the cap.
“Hey,” I said. “I don’t want to be an asshole and change the subject…”
“Go ahead,” Mike said. “I know you’re not here to party.”
“It’s about Adena.”
“Shocker.”
“What does that mean?”
“I never thought the day would come when you’d be back in town. But then again… Adena. It makes sense.”
“Why’s that?”
“Damn, Evan, she was all you ever talked about. I don’t think you even realized it either. You would chase so many girls away because of Adena. Then you’d run off with Anna.”
“You know she and I never…”
“I know,” Mike said. “So what do you need to know about Adena?”
“Her business. Not personal business. But her business. She was running a bakery. Right?”
“Yeah. She had a little shop. Mostly did catering. If that’s what you’d call it. She’d make the stuff and go to places.”
“You ever have anything?”
“Yeah.”
“Good stuff?”
“Very good,” Mike said. “She made all the local businesses Christmas cookies each year. Delivered them in an old tin. Wearing a Santa hat. She was happy. Smiling.”
“Until her sister ruined it,” I said.
“Well, I don’t know what happened to her business. I wasn’t exactly keeping an eye out for her. No offense.”
“Where was the place located?”
“Her business? Maybe a mile from here. Why?”
“Let me ask you something, Mike. How do you feel about the old days? Reliving them for a second?”
“Meaning what?”
I smiled and took a big swig of the beer. “Grab two more beers and let’s go for a ride…”
“This is fucking crazy,” Mike said.
“Don’t worry about it. Tommy’s on duty anyway. He wouldn’t do anything to us.”
“You know, I’m a respectable member of this town.”
“No you’re not,” I said with a laugh.
“Evan…”
“I’m going inside this place,” I said. “I asked how you felt about the old days. Live a little, Mike. Your life is a fucking mess. Just like mine. We used to not give a shit about anything. Plus, when was the last time this place was used?”
“I don’t know. I don’t keep watch…”
“Good,” I said. “Now give me those big ass pliers.”
Mike held the giant set of pliers with one hand and a bottle of beer with the other.
He reluctantly looked at the pliers, then handed them to me.
Sometimes in life you had to go a little crazy to remind yourself that it was okay to be alive. I’m sure Mike’s old man would have agreed with me if he were there with us. Same with Dick. And even if Tommy did want to bust my balls for what I was doing, I’d explain why and he’d back off.
I used the pliers to grip the chain on the back door. It wasn’t like there were millions of dollars hidden inside the building. The chain that kept the back door shut wasn’t even hooked up all that tight. It took me a couple good twists and a yell to break it.
It popped free with metal clanking against metal. I put the pliers on the ground and opened the door.
“You can hang out here,” I said to Mike. “I’ve got things to do.”
Mike grasped my arm. “You love her, don’t you?”
“What?”
“Adena. You love her, man. That’s why you’re doing this.”
“That’s exactly why I’m doing this,” I said.
“You know, most guys would just buy some flowers and say I love you…”
I held the door open, not really giving a shit about how many laws I was breaking. I grinned at Mike.
“That’s the thing… I’m not most guys… and Dena is not just some woman… she’s my woman, and she needs to know how much she matters to me.”
Chapter Forty-One
(Silent Treatment)
YEARS AGO
(Evan)
I hadn’t slept in days. I tried to figure out the right way to handle it all. I couldn’t believe Anna was pregnant. This young and pregnant. As much as it scared me it pissed me off because she was fitting every cliché that people painted her to be. It was like she wanted all of this. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. Or how much more I could do for her.
My breaking point had come and gone a long time ago, but there I was, standing at the side of the house, smoking another cigarette, trying to figure out what the rest of my life would look like. I was too young to feel like time was against me, but the truth was a real bitch sometimes. Time had been against me since the Saturday morning I was watching cartoons, eating waffles with tons of extra syrup, and some guy kicked down the front door and put his foot through the TV. He stepped on my waffles and left syrup prints through the house until he found my mother. No more innocence for Evan. No more Saturday cartoons either.
I finished my smoke and dropped it to the ground. I wasn’t sure where Anna was. Inside, throwing up? Didn’t girls throw up when they were pregnant?
I ran a hand through my hair. My heart was racing and I couldn’t get it to calm. I got into a huge fight with Andy the night before. He was acting like an asshole after smoking something Scott gave him. They were all pestering me, wondering why I was so uptight and serious. So I hauled off and cracked Andy in the jaw. It was a warning punch, not the start of a fight. But Andy came after me. We tangled up for a few minutes in Scott’s garage until we broke some glass thing that meant something to Scott. He kicked all of us out. Then I had to walk with Andy, in dead silence, until he got to his house. His goodbye was spitting a chunk of blood on my shoe.
I looked down at my shoes and there was still a small stain there.
I heard the front door of the house shut.
I made my move. Creeping along the house.
If it was Beth, I’d hightail it back. No way I was facing her yet. Anna wanted to wait until the
right time to say something. I had no idea what that meant. One thing Anna made sure of was that it was her body and she’d decide when and how to tell people. So I tried to be the good guy and just go along for the ride.
When I was able to see the porch, I smiled.
It was Adena.
She turned to walk off the porch. I hurried to the front and gave out a quick whistle. Adena looked at me. I gave a wave.
She turned and walked.
What the hell?
I ran along the sidewalk and caught up to Adena.
“Dena, hey,” I said.
“Evan.”
She wouldn’t look at me.
“Where are you going?”
“For a walk.”
“Okay. What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” she said.
“Hey, talk to me,” I said. “What’s wrong?”
I reached for her hand and she ripped it away. She made a quick right and walked down a narrow alley between two apartment buildings. Houses that were split into apartments. All of them rundown. People forever moving in and out of them. The only person living there for longer than six months was Mrs. Genning, who lived on the first floor of the building to my right. She’d been there for ten years, if not longer.
I stayed with Adena.
At the end of the alley she took another right, going toward the back lot behind her house.
“Adena, what’s wrong? What happened?”
I took her wrist this time.
I pulled at her and she finally stopped walking. She turned and swung her hand. I think she meant to slap me in the face but she hit my shoulder.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she yelled.
“What?”
“She told me. She’s pregnant?”
“Adena…”
“No,” she yelled. “Everything that’s happened… and now this? Pregnant? Are you kidding me, Evan?”
“I don’t think you understand, Dena…”
“Oh, I understand. You want her to finish ruining her life? Fine. You want to ruin your life? Fine. But how is this fair to Aunt Beth? Who do you think is going to have to pay for everything? Who do you think is going to have to raise the baby?”
I didn’t speak anymore. I let Adena vent.
“Every time I think it can’t get worse, it does. She keeps topping herself, over and over. And then you do it… you step into this, Evan. You’re nothing but trouble, too. You bring more trouble to her!”
I swallowed hard. “Wow. Right.”
“Right? Yeah. Right. You sneak around like you don’t give a shit about what Aunt Beth tries to do. You’re the problem, Evan. You!”
“Dena, can I talk for a second?”
“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say,” Adena said. “I don’t. I came out to go for a walk.”
“Is Anna…”
“Is she home? No. She’s not home. I have no idea where she is. Probably hurting herself… and now… another life…”
“It’s not what you think,” I said. “I’m trying to help. I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“You don’t know what the right thing is, Evan,” Adena said. “I mean, you met her after stealing a car. You met me because she tricked me into breaking into a house. You two actually deserve each other.”
“No,” I said. “No, Dena.”
“Fuck you,” she yelled.
She turned and started to walk again. She looked back, pieces of her hair wrapped around her face. That was my chance to chase after her. But there wasn’t anything I could say. Not without hurting everyone any more than they already were.
The thing was… the truth was…
I didn’t get Anna pregnant.
Chapter Forty-Two
(Demons and a Kiss)
NOW
(Adena)
Evan made me wait until dark. Then he made me pack up everything I had baked for him. It wasn’t anything fancy. Honestly, I made my famous chocolate chip cookies and my famous brownies. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, it was kind of nice being in the kitchen. Forgetting about the world like I used to do. Enjoy creating something that would make someone else happy.
Then again, it made me hate Evan for doing that. Because it was a stark reminder of what I used to have. What I lost. Not to mention I had lost my current job and would need to seriously address that problem sooner rather than later. The money that Marie Anne gave me was only a week’s pay. Top that to my savings and I could get by for just a little while.
“How long until we are there?” I asked as I sat in the front seat of Evan’s truck.
I had the containers of baked goods on my lap. Being blindfolded gave me the sensation that we had been driving for hours and I was going to end up in another state.
“One minute,” he said. “Hang tight, Dena.”
The truck finally came to a stop.
Evan got out and I waited for him to open my door. When he did, he helped me out of the truck as I sighed. Games and cuteness aside, how old were we? How much had we gone through? And I was now being blindfolded? For what? What could he have done…
“Okay, Dena. Stand right here with me. Count to three in your head and take the blindfold off.”
“This is…”
“Just do it,” Evan said.
He let me go.
So I counted…
… one…
… two…
... three...
I slipped my fingers under the blindfold and took it off.
I let out a gasp.
I was standing at the back of my old bakery. My old business.
Evan stood with the back door open.
“Evan…”
“Now, to be fair, I don’t think we’re allowed to be here.”
“What?”
“I cut the chains off the door.”
“What?” I yelled louder. “Are you crazy?”
“Yes, I am,” Evan said. “I want to show you something.”
“Evan…”
“Come on,” he said. “We might not have much time.”
I walked toward the back door. It was familiar and hurt my heart. Evan led the way into the back of the bakery. He made me stop and then hurried away. A second later, strands of round white lights came on.
“Didn’t want to turn on the big lights,” Evan said. “So I found these and put them up.”
“I used to put them out front,” I whispered.
“And then… I’m going to sit here…”
Evan walked to a little bistro table that had one black chair. I picked out that table, along with three others. Same with the chairs. When I lost the business, I left everything. That was part of the deal to get out of it all without losing the house. I had to leave everything behind. And now Evan grabbed the chair and sat down.
“You can wait on me,” he said.
“What?”
“That’s why we’re here, Dena. I never got to experience your business. So do your thing.”
“You can’t be serious right now.”
“I am serious. Here we are.”
I walked to the stainless steel counter and put the containers down. Evan put out a plate and even had coffee there.
“Now, I would prefer a real drink,” he called out, “but I doubt you served up beer or whiskey, right?”
“Right,” I said.
I pulled the lids off the cookies and brownies. I tried to keep myself together as I took a cookie from the container. Then a brownie. My hands started to shake. I looked around the kitchen. I could see through to the front and outside to the street. It was lit up by other businesses still open and cars randomly passing by. I thought about all the early mornings here. All the late nights here. All the hours spent chasing down the dream.
“Dena?” Evan asked.
I looked at him.
I slowly pushed the plate away and backed up. I covered my mouth.
Evan stood up. “Hey, Dena…”
I put
my other hand out.
I started to cry.
I thought Evan was going to jump over the counter to get to me. While I appreciated the gesture, I stepped forward and stopped him. My hand pressed against his perfectly hard chest, sending an unfair sensation through my body.
“Dena… talk to me…”
I inhaled a shaky breath. “What is this? Everything, Evan. You waited all this time…”
Evan swallowed hard. “Dena…”
“No,” I said. “No. You don’t get it…”
“Get what?” Evan asked. “Why hold back, sweetheart? I did all this to tell you I love you. I’ve been in love with you from the day I met you. The day I looked in the mirror of that stolen station wagon and saw the look on your face…”
“Then why did you love her?” I asked, feeling the dam cracking. “Why did you care for her? Why did you hold her hand? Why did you kiss her? Why did you fuck her? Why did you let her steal my dress and my dance with you? Why did you get her pregnant?”
My voice started to break into pieces, matching my heart.
Evan tried to make a move to come around the counter but I stopped him.
“So now you’re here to tell me you love me?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said. “And I’ve always loved you. I told you why I did what I did. If we’re doing this right now… fine. Kissing her? When the hell did you ever see me kiss her?”
“That first day,” I said.
“She kissed me, Dena. I never kissed her. And you don’t know…” I saw Evan holding back.
“What? Tell me, Evan. Right now.”
“I never slept with Anna,” Evan said.
“What?”
“Ever,” he said. “Okay? That’s the big fucking secret. I never slept with her.”
I shook my head. “Wait… then how…”
“I don’t know whose it was,” he said. “Okay? I must have slipped up and missed babysitting her one night. That’s what I did, Dena. I babysat her. You think I cared for her the way I care for you? No. Did I love her? Yes. But not in the way I love you. I loved her as this person who understands what it was like to be broken. That was it. I told myself if I kept her under wraps and you had the chance to succeed, then I was giving you the life you deserved. Because I sure as fuck couldn’t do it. And believe me, Tommy’s old man pointed that out to me over and over. He was right. I never knew where I was sleeping. Where my next meal was coming from.”