“Within reason,” he agreed.
I peered up at the clear fall sky and contemplated my first question.
“If…” he cleared his throat. “You will answer some of your own?”
His tone was warm and I was indeed starting to like this Ian as well. It must be a Byrne trait! “Within reason,” I teased back.
His smile was beautiful enough to stop a heart.
“But I go first?” I waited for his nod. I patted Baxter’s neck and then gave Ian a smile as he sat handsomely atop Cocoa Princess. “What is the age difference between you and Liam? You seem so much younger.”
He grinned. “That is your question? All the elusive little things about my brother and…you called him Liam again…” I covered my mouth. He gave me a wink. “You ask about our ages?”
I blushed.
“There is not a big difference. I seem younger because I am the bachelor…and not as matured as my brother. I don’t have children. I haven’t been married and my face you have seen.” His voice was soft now. “My brother is young in appearance too.” He gave a nod. “There was never denying we were related growing up…other than our eyes. I’m just thirty four…Liam is thirty six. We have always been close but he has the grown up genes.”
I smiled. “See? Simple question and I got quite a bit out of that one answer. You are single, no children, never been married, and you find yourself immature. I got quite a bit.”
His brows rose and amusement filled his eyes. “That you did,” he agreed. He gave me a sideways glance with his eyes. “My turn.”
I wanted to nudge Baxter into a trot and deny an answer but sat up straight like a brave little girl. “Proceed,” I sighed.
“How are you still single?”
My eyes turned to him in surprise at the blatant question. His blue eyes were serious and held mine without blinking. His head did tilt handsomely, softening the bluntness of the question. “H-how do you know I am single?”
He chuckled. “A woman with someone in her life would not have taken this job Nerissa. And she would not be looking after my brother as I saw you do today. I am not judging or claiming you have any feelings…but…”
“Don’t be silly,” I scolded him. “Now why would you ask me such a question?”
He shook his head. “You’re very pretty,” he continued. “Obviously smart and just this short time has told me you are pleasant to be with.” He shrugged. “I was just wondering how you escaped being caught up.”
I gave my own shrug and focused my eyes on the horizon between Baxter’s ears. “I don’t let a lot of people in I guess. Most of my life has been about my job and my family. I’ve invested in children and that has been enough for me. Other than reading a romance or two…I never really needed that aspect!”
Ian laughed at this. “Every woman needs romance! Don’t try to pull that line of crap on me.” He shook his head. “Even a man who says he doesn’t need it is lying! My thoughts are you are so deeply romantic you are holding out for the fairytale!”
My mouth dropped and I quickly closed it. How could he be so right? I cleared my throat and gave him a small shrug.
“I’m right!” He gave another shout of laughter and Cocoa Princess whickered in response.
I made sure he saw my eyes roll. “Okay…I am a hopeless romantic but I really did have no time for romance except for in my head and in my reading…and of course movies!”
“Oh yes, the movies…like the one my brother called insufferable last night?”
“Cinderella is NOT insufferable,” I growled.
“My brother is not a romantic,” Ian chuckled.
My brow rose. Well, his goodbye at the door last night had not been too shabby! My cheeks warmed at the memory! “My turn,” I cut in. I needed to redirect my thoughts. “Do the girls really never leave the property?”
Ian nodded. “Liam feels safer when they are within his reach. He wants them surrounded by walls that will keep them protected.”
“Why? I mean…one day they will need to go outside them. Won’t that be a culture shock? And what about friends? They only have each other.”
He drew in a breath. “My brother and I have gone many rounds on this. I don’t know another way to convey that to him. He is their only parent and he will see that they are safe. This is his only argument.”
“It’s not a very strong argument,” I sighed. “He must have really been through it huh?”
Ian chuckled and shook a gloved finger at me. “No, you got an answer, my turn.”
“If you must Mr. Byrne!”
“Ian!”
“Ian Byrne.”
His blues danced. “How long do you plan on staying here?”
Ah, an easy question! “As long as I am allowed. I love it here.”
“Odd employer and all?”
I nodded and gave him a smile. “It’s a good place. The Byrnes seem to be good people and I am in love with Amelia and Brianne. They seem to like having me around too.”
He smiled. “They do. I have to admit that Uncle Ian is a little jealous of the new Rissa! Every time I call anymore it’s all I hear about. They have never done that with any other Nanny. It gives me a good feeling.”
My heart felt the warmth. Those little girls meant an awful lot in a short period of time.
“They needed a mother figure,” he said softly. “And Liam needed some feminine influence too.” He cleared his throat. “He’s pushed that out of his way nearly completely…except the few maids we have here.”
I looked to him with questions obvious in my face.
“Obviously with the scarring…and the hiding, he doesn’t exactly…date.”
I blushed.
“He also hasn’t had the best experience with women, but…well, that part is his to tell. I…I won’t tell his deepest darkest as I have said.” Ian patted Cocoa Princess’ neck.
“I don’t want to…well I want to…but I won’t force you to tell more…but he did say he wanted me to me a motherly influence for the girls. I was just wondering how much influence they have had in their short little lives.”
Ian seemed to be struggling with himself now at this question. He gave me a sideways glance and drew in a breath. “Liam would kill me if he knew I was talking to you about this. But you should know some of the past since you are caring for the girls. It will help them in their future.”
I found myself holding my breath in anticipation.
“You know he was married.”
I gave a nod. “His wife was Jade.” My mind flashed to the incident in the theatre.
Ian smiled sardonically. “Yes, Jade.” He rolled his shoulders. “Liam was quite in love with her…and when she gave him his girls he was beyond in love with her. In his eyes, she was perfection!” He shifted in the saddle and slowed his horse down even further until they were at just a leisurely walk.
My horse complied. “Well, seeing how Mr. Byrne lives, I would say he strives for perfection! Why would his wife be any less?”
Ian’s blue eyes flashed and he shook his head. “Jade was flighty and a romantic. She had no sense in her head. She fell head over heels for Liam and lived life like it was a dream.” He snorted. “She hated responsibility! Now granted I am not the poster child for discipline but she was far less. Her life with Liam was like a romance movie-until the children.” He frowned, adjusting the reins in his hands. “She spent far less time with them than the entire staff.”
I watched the anger growing in him. The love for his nieces was evident. “But she was still perfection to him…until…” He shook his head. “But that is not my story to tell.”
“It must have been hard on him to watch her pass,” I whispered.
The anger on Ian’s face melted away instantly. He brought the horse to a halt. “You mean to tell me you don’t know?”
I drew Baxter to a stop next to him. “Know what?”
“Jade didn’t…pass…you know, get sick or have a drawn out illness…die of natural ca
uses.” He reached out to touch my hand. “Nerissa, Jade was murdered.”
The gasp caught in my throat and I had to rub at the pain in my chest that was suddenly there. “H..how?”
“She was stabbed.”
“Stabbed?” Sudden flash backs whirled through my head. My father’s face, his voice…the sounds the smells of that night.
Ian nodded. “I thought you knew because of your brother’s research…”
“No, was protecting me…” I tasted bile in my mouth and felt a little dizzy.
“Liam nearly died trying to save her…his scars…Nerissa? Are you okay?”
“I thought you weren’t giving away his deepest darkest?”
Dark! It was dark but the snow that night! The snow was stained in red…blood, my father’s blood!
“Nerissa?”
I slumped onto Baxter’s neck. “You told me his darkest…” I heard hooves pounding toward us now. Who was coming? Why were they in a hurry? The hooves faded as a ringing began in my ears.
“That is not his darkest! I thought you knew about the murder…how it had happened. The scars…your own story…Nerissa?”
I gripped Baxter’s mane with weakening fingers. Murder…stabbing. The sound of a blade slicing, my father’s scream, pain, fear…loss. My sight blurred.
Ian cried out to someone. I had cried out that night. No one had heard me. No one had come! Not until it was too late!
I heard someone jump to the ground. I felt hands at my waist and strong arms surrounding me. I smelled him. A wild sense of comfort surrounded me. Liam! Why was he here? Did I care? I was happy he was here! I needed him here.
“Ian what did you say to her?”
His voice rumbled through me.
“Were you following us?”
Thoughts of my father were fading a bit until Ian barked in anger. “I told her about the murder! Why?”
Liam growled. “Never speak to her of it again!”
“Because her father was…”
I buried my face into the sweet comfort of Liam’s scent and let the world go dark.
Chapter 6 Walls
The room was dark when my eyes opened. I sensed that there was someone there with me but I didn’t feel any fear. I did feel an ache between my eyes though. I had often felt this after one of my spells. A spell I had not had for two years. Nothing had set me off in a long while. I had grown very talented at pushing the feelings and the memories away. If I didn’t feel them…then my body did not react to them! I thought I had found a balance with the medication too. I’d given up therapy. Therapy was for crazy people! I was just a woman who lost her dad…in a horrible, horrible manner.
Tears teased at the corners of my eyes. This was not what I wanted to be doing at this moment. “How long have I been out?” I growled.
“Just stay still sweetheart!”
“Mom,” I cried out with relief. “What happened?”
“You had an episode but you are okay now. Dr. Brown was here and he checked you over. As he put it; You just checked out. You are okay.”
I sat up and rubbed my face, groaning in mortification as memories started rushing back. “I passed out in my bosses arms,” I cried. “I had a full on mental break down in front of his brother.” My face made itself home in my hands. “Oh mom…I’m fired for sure!”
“No dear, you are fine!”
“How are you here?”
She smiled at me, coming to sit next to me on the bed. “He called me from his horse,” she laughed. “I guess he was juggling you, the reins and the phone. His brother was yelling at him in the background. Something about…he couldn’t believe he would follow you! Well, that’s beside the point! Liam wanted to know if this had happened before and he explained the circumstances. I called Dr. Brown and we came.” She reached out a hand to gently stroke my cheek.
“I’m so embarrassed! What they must think of me! Mr. Byrne has seen enough of my mental capacity to throw me out now.” I shook my head. “What he must think!”
“He was very worried about you Rissa. And he has been through a lot too. I am sure he can empathize with a break from reality now and then.”
I sighed, pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face there.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She moved closer and wrapped her arm about me. “What caused the flash back?”
I laid my head against her shoulder. “I found out how Mr. Byrne got his scars,” I whispered.
She pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
“You know, don’t you?”
“Al told me that night…when he brought all the research.”
I blew out a breath. “He didn’t think I could take it?”
“Just look at you sweetie!”
I nodded. “But the way Ian told me…it was a shock. I was not prepared at all to learn what I did.” I felt tears well up. “His was kind of a reverse of what happened with dad though. In my case, the protector died…in his case, the one he tried to protect…” Tears rolled down my cheeks. “He survived and has to live with the memory.”
“He barely survived,” my mom whispered. “And yes, he has to live with it, just as you live with it.”
I closed my eyes. “And all those scars were for what?”
Her arms tightened about me. “A lot,” she sighed. “But that is his story to tell you.”
“You know?”
“A bit.”
“Tell me!”
“I can’t Nerissa. It is privileged information.”
“You have already talked to him,” I growled.
“He asked me to not tell what I have learned. I have to respect him! I was the first one he called to see you! He trusted to allow me in his home…he is a good man Nerissa and I will respect that if I want to continue to have his respect!”
I sighed in frustration. My mom was stubborn. Once she made up her mind…it was made! “Where are the girls?” Sudden concern hit me for them.
“They are with their Uncle Ian in the room playing a game. They’ve had dinner…”
“Dinner? I’ve been out all day?” I leapt from her arms and the bed and onto the floor. I was in serious threat of losing my job.
I stared down at the sweats and tee I wore. “Please tell me…”
“I dressed you,” she laughed. “Now get back in bed. The Dr. said you would need to relax!”
I shook my head and went for my jeans. I pulled them on and reached for a brush to run through my hair and then pulled said hair up into a pony tail. “I need to go see Mr. Byrne and beg him not to fire me!”
My Mom smiled at me and I had to wonder at the twinkle in her eye.
“Did you speak long with him?” I paused to give her a look.
She shrugged. “For a while, but he was anxious to have me back here watching over you.”
Biting my lip, I gave her a shrug. “Did he let you look at him?”
She stood to her feet and crossed to me. “I did not ask if I could. I got the run down from Stewart when I arrived and I obeyed. As strange as it sounds…it was very pleasant in Liam’s presence.”
I smiled. “It doesn’t sound strange at all. I will be right back.” I promised.
I headed out the door, ready to make my way up to Liam’s office. Stewart was waiting outside the door for me.
He gave that winning smile of his. “Feeling better Miss?”
“I would feel better if I could speak to Mr. Byrne,” I said softly, closing the door behind me.
“He asked me to talk to you.”
I frowned. “I’m fired aren’t I?” I heard the tremble in my voice.
“What? Oh, no, certainly not Miss! What happened today was beyond your control! Mr. Ian shouldn’t have said anything to you! He didn’t know either…and your reaction, well, no one would have guessed that would have happened.” He shook his head and reached to touch my shoulder gently. “Your job is still safe Miss.”
I sighed. “He’s not afraid I will break down with the girls?”
“You have worked with children for years and years without incident. This has nothing to do with them. This situation…this matter will not come up in front of them. Your condition is in regards to what happened with…your father only, right?”
I nodded.
“Then we have no worries. Please, do not upset yourself more than you already have! Mr. Byrne wanted me to make sure you were okay, nothing more. He wanted to make sure you knew you should sleep in tomorrow and not worry about breakfast. Mary will care for the girls.”
I protested immediately. “I am fine! I will see to the girls immediately! And I will be down tomorrow to help Mary. Honestly Stewart, I am okay. Please, don’t let this become a big issue!”
He smiled kindly.
“I still would like to speak to him though. I feel so silly! And if I could just…” I saw him hesitate. “Please Stewart? I won’t take but a moment! I want to thank him too for getting my mom and for taking care of me! At least let me have that! I won’t be able to settle…or let myself rest until I have at least thanked him!”
His face softened and he gave a nod. “Let me call him first. You stay here…I will only be a moment.” He held up a hand,
I gave him a thankful smile and blew out a breath of relief as he turned to a phone sitting on a table in the hall. He dialed a number and murmured into it, hung up, and turned back to me.
“Come Miss. He will see you.”
We started down the hall when the door to the girl’s room open and Ian charged out. He closed the door behind him as he exited “I knew I heard you out here! How are you?” He disregarded Stewart and came right to me. “Are you feeling better?”
I nodded, taken by surprise by his sudden appearance.
He looked to Stewart. “You are going to see Liam?”
Stewart gave a nod.
“I will take her up. I know you are busy.”
Stewart opened his mouth to protest, but Ian grabbed my hand and tugged me down the hall behind him.
“I will behave Stew. I want to talk to my brother too. There is a thing or two we have to straighten out before I leave!”
More than Scars Page 7