Trey frowns. “We were taught something about it in class. Not about the Metz, obviously, more about the principles of how technology can be used to repair damaged brains. Like when people have strokes and stuff.” He looks shamefaced. “I’m afraid I don’t remember much of it though. It was pretty technical.”
“Well, I’ll update Katya tomorrow.” Bryn glances over at me. “Unless you want to tell her yourself?”
I shake my head. The further I can stay away from her the better.
Outside, the light is starting to fade. The days are getting longer, but winter doesn’t want to release its grip on the city just yet. A gentle patter starts up on the window. Rain. Great.
“You’ll stay here tonight, Aleesha.” I jerk my head up but Abby smiles, softening the statement. “I’m afraid Bernie’s still in the front room – he’s not well enough to go home – so you’ll have to bunk in with Trey again.”
“Fine.”
I can almost feel Trey blush beside me.
“I’d better go and see how Bernie’s doing, actually. He seems to be pulling through, though I’m not sure how – I thought that stomach wound would see him off for sure.” She picks up a bowl of hot water and heads for the door.
We spend the evening talking and eating. Bryn tells us some stories of the countries he’s been to. He’s a good storyteller, and if I close my eyes I can almost imagine the spicy smells of the markets in Morocco and the snow-topped peaks of the Alps. They sound part of a different world.
Abby plays the guitar for us and I’m surprised to find that Trey can play too. His fingers fumble on the strings a little, and he’s not as practised as Abby, but the music is so beautiful that it stirs something inside me and makes my throat tighten so much that I can barely breathe, and I have to leave the room and plug my ears with my fingers to block it out.
Later, as I lie in Trey’s narrow bed, staring up at the cracked ceiling, I realize what that feeling was. It’s not a feeling I have a word for, but it’s the comfort and happiness you get from being in a place that feels like home, mingled with the sadness that comes from the knowledge that it’s not, and never will be, home.
Outside, the rain is hammering on the window, and I’m glad I’m not up on my roof tonight. It would be cold and miserable up there. Alone.
Don’t get used to it. It won’t last.
I sigh. As if reading my mind, Trey’s voice trickles up from the floor. “Where have you been staying, these past nights?”
“On my roof.”
“Your roof?”
“I’ll show you tomorrow.”
Now, why did I say that? I’ve never taken anyone up there before. Apart from Lily. And that was only because there was nowhere else for her to stay.
A pause. “Aleesha, can you teach me how to fight?”
To fight? I prop myself up on one elbow and look down at him. “Sure, I can try. But why?”
His face is pale, but it’s too dark to read the expression on it. “I need to learn. In case you’re not around to babysit me.”
I can hear the smile in his voice.
“Okay, well when you’re aching and bruised all over, remember, you asked for it.”
I fall back on the pillow and close my eyes, tiredness suddenly overwhelming me.
“Night, Aleesha.”
“Night, Trey.”
10
Trey
The streets in Area Four are ankle deep in water. My boots are waterproof, thank heavens, but I tiptoe through, trying not to splash any of the filthy water up my legs. Aleesha seems less concerned. I make a mental note to speak to Bryn about getting some knee-length boots.
Any dry patch of land is occupied. Hobies crouch in doorways and on benches and old fountains, but there isn’t enough space for all of them. The unlucky ones stand, huddled beneath thin cloaks and blankets. Occasionally, someone reaches out a skeletal limb toward us, begging for food, money or tronk.
In the end, I just look straight ahead. The thin porridge Abby had given us for breakfast sits heavy in my stomach and guilt creates a tight lump in my throat that makes it hard to breathe. If I don’t look at them, part of me can forget they’re there.
But that’s the problem, isn’t it? People don’t want to see them, don’t want to know they’re there. I’m as bad as any other Insider.
I nearly run into Aleesha’s back when she stops abruptly. “Wh—”
She waves her hand to shush me. I follow her gaze to a young man who’s swaggering up the street, his arm looped over the shoulder of a pretty brown-haired girl a year or two older than me. His hair is cropped close to his skull and he’s well-muscled, for an Outsider.
The girl says something to him and he laughs and smiles down at her. Then he spots us and the smile twists into an ugly frown. My mouth goes suddenly dry and I take a step back.
“Let’s go,” Aleesha mutters under her breath.
But the street is narrow here and the depth of the water forces us into the middle, toward the couple. Aleesha stops again. She folds her arms and adopts a casual slouch, but as her arm brushes mine I can feel her trembling, though whether it’s from fear or anger I don’t know.
“Aleesha,” the man says.
“Jay.”
Oh, so this is the ex-boyfriend. I look at him again, more warily this time. Pale scars crisscross the black tattoos that wind up his arms and around his neck.
“Who’s your friend?” Jay smirks and the hairs on the back of my neck bristle.
“None of your business,” Aleesha snaps. They stare at each other for a moment and I’m reminded of two dogs circling each other, deciding if it’s worth their effort to fight. “Are you going to let us pass?” she says finally.
Jay seems slightly taken aback. “Yeah, whatever.” He steps to one side, tugging the girl after him. She narrows her eyes but doesn’t say anything. As we walk past them, I feel a splash of water hit my leg. I turn to see Jay give me a mocking grin.
I attempt a scowl but suspect I just look stupid. Turning, I follow Aleesha down the street.
Five minutes later, Aleesha turns into a narrow alleyway and pauses. “Here we are.”
I look up. The building in front of us is one of the tallest around. “How do we get up?”
Aleesha flashes me a smile. “Follow me.”
She hoists herself up through an empty window frame and reaches down a hand. I take a deep breath. Got to learn to do this for yourself, boy. Besides, climbing is one of the few physical activities I’m half-decent at. I curl my fingers over the crumbling concrete lip and pull myself up and over, into the building.
The route up to the roof is convoluted. We go up a staircase that seems half-derelict for a few floors, then through an empty apartment and out onto a small terrace. Then up a ladder, in through another window and up another staircase until we appear to reach a dead end. Aleesha pulls over a rusted chair and stands on it, reaching up above her head. A moment later, she pushes open a trapdoor and hoists herself up.
“This way,” she calls down.
I pull myself up, my muscles protesting at the effort, and sigh as I see her already waiting by another ladder on the far side of the roof.
“Fasten it behind you,” Aleesha says before starting up the rusted rungs.
Finally, we reach the top. A flat roof stretches out, about thirty metres long and twenty-five wide. In the centre is a small, ramshackle building with a corrugated iron roof that looks like it’s seen better days.
“What do you think of the view?” Aleesha calls. She spreads her arms wide and spins around, gazing up at the sky.
I rest my hands on my knees, panting. No wonder she’s fit if she comes up here a lot. When I’ve caught my breath, I stand and look about. We’re above most of the surrounding rooftops, which are littered with black solar panels and lightning rods. The Wall looms behind them, and from up here you can see the tops of the tall glass towers Inside peeping over it.
“It’s amazing!” I walk to the st
one parapet that lines the roof and force myself to look down. I immediately regret it. Miniature people move along the narrow streets far, far below. Closing my eyes, I swallow and take a step back.
“Careful.” Aleesha grips my shoulder. “The parapet isn’t all that solid in places.”
I stumble backward and open my eyes. Ten paces away, part of the parapet has crumbled away completely.
“Come on.” Aleesha walks over to the small building. There doesn’t appear to be a door, which is odd. Why build something you can’t get inside? The roof extends on one side, creating a sheltered area between the brick walls, at the back of which is a small pile of folded blankets and clothes.
I stop dead. “You’ve been living up here?”
“Sometimes,” she replies defensively. “It’s safe up here and not too cold. In the summer,” she adds as an afterthought.
A gust of wind rattles the iron roof. I don’t know what to say. Given the alternative – joining the hobies on the street – I can see why she would come up here, but to spend cold, wet nights up here alone … I really lucked out, finding Abby.
“You’re the first person I’ve brought up here, apart from Lily,” Aleesha says, almost shyly.
Lily? “You brought Lily up here?” I look back toward the ladder leading down from the roof. “How?”
She laughs. “It wasn’t easy. But she was a tough little thing.” She waves at the floor beneath the overhanging roof. “Would you like a seat? Or shall we get started?”
I eye the dusty concrete floor. “Let’s just start, shall we?”
“Sure.” She kneels and rummages under the blankets.
“Do you miss him?” The words spill from my lips before I can stop them. I bite my lip, instantly regretting my outburst.
What if she says yes?
Aleesha freezes. “Who? Jay?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know. At first, I did a bit. Not so much now.” She stands and turns to face me, a rolled-up piece of fabric dangling from her hand. A smile curls the corners of her lips. “Why, are you jealous?”
Heat rises to my cheeks. “N-n-no, of course not.” Damn that stammer.
She pushes past me back out into the open. “Ah, come on. I’m only kidding you. What about you, Trey? Any crazy ex-girlfriends you left behind at that school of yours?”
“What, at St George’s? Britannia’s premier school for boys?” I try to keep my voice casual as I stride out to join her.
No reason to tell her I’ve never had a girlfriend. Just play it cool.
Aleesha twirls the rag in her hand. “Ready?” She raises an eyebrow.
“Sure.” I blow out a breath. “Let’s do this.”
Aleesha starts by having me run a couple of laps of the roof. Then she makes me do a series of exercises, so she can “see how I move”. I’m not sure if I’m doing them right or wrong, but I feel pretty stupid all the same.
After that, she joins in, and we use the rolled-up fabric to do resistance exercises. Squats, bicep curls, tricep curls. She’s smaller and lighter than me, but stronger, so we balance out. By the end of that session, I’m dripping with sweat and my muscles feel like jelly.
We walk over to the shelter and she hands me a half-full bottle of water. I gulp it down, only stopping when it’s pulled from my hand.
“You have to learn to ration it. Sometimes you’ll need to go thirsty.” She frowns and takes a single sip from the bottle, which I realize, with a flash of guilt, is almost empty.
“Your legs are weak,” she continues. “Do sets of squats daily to build them up. And press-ups and pull-ups for your back and arms.”
“Anything else?” I ask.
“Well, your stomach could do with some work too.” She prods me in my belly button and I double over. “See?”
I glare up at her. “I asked you to teach me how to fight, not give me a workout.”
Aleesha folds her arms. “You need to get into shape to be able to fight. Skill will only get you so far. I’m lucky – because I’m small and a girl, guys underestimate me. But you won’t get such an easy time of it.”
I grunt in reply and she rolls her eyes. “Come on then, let’s fight.”
Back out on the roof, we turn to face each other. Aleesha takes a step back. “Keep your distance as much as you can. More distance gives you more time to react. And keep moving.” She begins to circle me. “Move!”
I start and shuffle around on the spot. If I keep doing this, I’m going to get dizzy. I step out into her path and bring my fists up.
“Good!” She points two fingers at my eyes and then back to hers. “Always look at their eyes. The eyes can tell you what they’re planning to do. That’s why fighting the Metz is so hard. You can’t see anything behind their masks, so you get no warning.”
She continues moving, so graceful she looks like a dancer on the stage. Her long, dark braid swings gently behind her. “W—”
A flash of movement. I raise my arm but am too late. My cheek stings under the force of her palm.
“Keep your eyes on your attacker!” Aleesha scowls. “Stop getting distracted.”
“Well, stop being so distracting then,” I mutter under my breath.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.” I massage my jaw. “Sorry. Eyes. Eyes.”
We continue circling each other. The next time she strikes, aiming a low blow at my stomach, I manage to dodge enough so it catches my side instead. Nearly.
We carry on this strange dance. Eventually, I get brave enough to try an attack of my own, but my arm finds only thin air, throwing me off balance. I stagger to the left and trip backward over something. The concrete roof knocks the breath from me and I gasp, black spots dancing at the edges of my vision.
A weight lands on my chest, forcing the air from my lungs. I lash out instinctively, and the weight shifts downward, first to my stomach, then lower. I close my eyes and lean my head back, gulping in air. An attractive, sweet smell wafts across my nostrils and I open my eyes to find Aleesha’s face barely six inches from my own. Suddenly, it becomes difficult to breathe again.
“Are you okay?”
I nod, still unable to speak. She looks relieved. “Sorry, I forgot how hard the floor is here. It’s better practising throws and stuff on a padded floor.”
A padded floor. That sounds better.
She reaches forward, and her fingers begin to explore my head, prodding behind my ears and around the base of my skull. “Did you bang your head?”
But I can’t answer. Just the feel of her hands on me sends a thrill of excitement tingling through my body. My heart begins to race and the thought of speaking to her, saying anything at all, makes my mouth go dry.
Aleesha frowns. “We should probably call it a day.”
She begins to push herself up, but I reach my hands up to her hips and she freezes.
What are you doing?
But my brain isn’t functioning properly. It’s being pushed to the back of my mind, being crammed into a smaller and smaller space as something else takes over. Heat rushes through me and the air between us is suddenly thick, like before a storm on a hot summer’s day.
Her face softens into a smile. One of those real, genuine smiles that’s so rare for her.
“So, if you haven’t had a girlfriend, that means you’ve never been kissed, right?” she murmurs, leaning fractionally closer. There’s a wicked glint in her eyes that makes me shiver.
“I didn’t say that.”
Aleesha raises one eyebrow. “You didn’t have to.”
Oh great. So much for playing it cool.
My hands wrap around her back of their own accord, my fingers running up the bones of her spine. She inhales sharply.
I jerk my hand away. Was that wrong? But her face is closer now and I can’t think. I don’t want to think. I just …
Her lips brush against mine, sending another surge of heat pulsing through my body. They’re soft and warm, pressing lightly on my
own. Unconsciously, I part my lips slightly and feel a flicker of movement dart inside my mouth. It’s odd … but nice.
Strange feelings surge through me. Feelings that I’m unfamiliar with. Uncomfortable with. A thousand butterflies playing on my skin. An iron fist clenching my stomach tight. An overwhelming need to pull her closer to me.
My hands roam their way up Aleesha’s back, out of my control now. I stroke her hair, that beautiful, smooth hair, and pull her head down to mine so that our lips are crushed together.
I feel her pull back, her head pressing against my hand. Coherent thoughts are trying to push through the fog in my brain, but I don’t let them through. I just want to stay in this moment.
But her lips are gone. My hand is pushed away. She’s pulling away. Panting slightly, I open my eyes and look up at her, the blood rushing to my cheeks.
What did I do wrong?
She looks away. “Sorry, I took advantage. I shouldn’t have—”
“No, wait!” I grab her arm as she moves to get up. “I-I mean, it’s fine. You didn’t … it was nice.” I cringe inwardly.
It was nice?
Aleesha rolls back on her feet and grabs my arm to pull me up with her. She glances down and smiles, raising an eyebrow. “Nice, huh?”
Oh no. No, no, no.
My cheeks burn. Finally, my brain pokes through the desire that’s slowly draining from my body. Perhaps I should just jump off the roof now? You bloody idiot. What must she think of you? You can’t even control yourself. It was just a kiss.
“Hey, stop that blushing.” Aleesha’s finger taps my chin, and reluctantly I lift my eyes to hers. She smiles impishly. “It wasn’t just nice. It was great.” She drops her hand and turns away, walking back over to the shelter. “Shall we do some warm down exercises before heading back?”
I clear my throat. “Sure.” My voice comes out half strangled. I take a deep breath, feeling the cool air quench the heat in my body. “Sure, let’s do that,” I repeat, more firmly this time.
Come on, snap out of it.
But even as I start jogging around the perimeter of the roof, her words come back to me.
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