Infinite Loop

by Meghan O'Brien

  “Oh, all right.”

  Mel crawled up the length of Regan’s body and kissed her, hard, before facing the other way and straddling Regan’s face. Exhaling at the feeling of her breasts pressing against Regan’s hips, she lowered her face to again stroke swollen folds with her tongue. After a moment soft hands gripped Mel’s hips and she was drawn down, her center enveloped in wet heat. Mel moaned into Regan and felt Regan moan into her body in response.

  She felt totally connected with Regan like this. Again she pressed her finger inside Regan, only to feel herself filled a moment later. She muffled her moan into Regan’s flesh, the fullness she felt shutting her brain down and pushing her closer to the edge.

  Mel worked her mouth and hand without conscious thought. Her actions were driven by instinct alone, by the noises Regan made and by the movement of their bodies against each other. The feeling of Regan below her was creating wonderful pressure low in Mel’s belly, radiating upward from her clit and guiding her hips in their frantic rhythm above Regan’s tongue and fingers. She felt desperate to come.

  “Oh, yeah,” she mumbled. Her words were unintelligible, but her meaning was apparently clear to Regan, who began touching and licking at her in the most perfect way. A moment later she was sucking at Mel until her thighs began to tremble with the effort of holding her body over Regan’s.

  She squeezed her eyes shut while she licked and fucked Regan. She could tell by the way her lover moved that she was as close as Mel to release, and she was determined to hold out until they could come together. She sucked Regan into her mouth, moaning at the texture and taste of her. Regan shook and whimpered, and then Mel felt her lover stiffen and cry out against her wetness.

  When she heard that noise, when she felt Regan orgasm beneath her, Mel tightened around Regan’s fingers in sympathy, and then she was also crying out, overcome by wave after wave of pleasure. For long moments they both licked and touched one another, driving each other to greater heights, each of them trembling and straining to continue their sweet torture of the other’s body. Finally Regan pulled her mouth away from Mel and buried it in her thigh, squeezing at her hips with weak hands.

  “I’m going to pass out,” Regan warned in a whisper.

  Mel lifted her tongue from Regan’s clit and lay her head on a pale thigh, panting in blissful exhaustion. “Good,” she said, and swallowed. “So was I.”

  They lay together for some time and recovered in silence, unmoving. Finally, it was the need to kiss Regan that compelled Mel up. With shaky arms, she changed position and settled down against her, marveling at the way their bodies fit together—breast-to-breast, thighs interlocked.

  “Welcome home,” Regan whispered with a grin.

  Mel blinked in surprise. Fuck. At this point, I can either kiss her or start crying. She leaned down and took Regan’s mouth in a deep kiss, pouring every ounce of her love for her into their joining, never breaking the contact of their lips and tongues. She needed more. She needed everything.

  “I want to be inside you,” she whispered. “I need to feel you against me when I’m inside you.”

  Regan nodded, gasping for air. “Yes.”

  Mel stood on shaking legs, then strode over to search through her duffel bag. Her hands were trembling, her knees weak, and she was breathing hard from her sustained arousal. If it didn’t feel so damn good, it would be scaring the hell out of her. She located her harness, dildo, and box of condoms and quickly readied herself, aware all the while of Regan with her hand between her thighs, stroking herself as she watched.

  “Hey,” Mel secured the harness around her hips and adjusted the straps so that the base of the dildo was snug against her sex. “What do you think you’re doing? Stop that.”

  “I can’t help it. If you’d stop bending over right next to me—.”

  “Regan,” Mel said, and raised an eyebrow in warning at the hand that hadn’t ceased its movement. “I want your hands above your head. You’re not allowed to start without me.”

  Regan obeyed, stretching her hands over her head and giving Mel an innocent smile. The motion caused her to thrust her bare breasts outward, and elicited a wolfish smile from Mel.

  “Beautiful.” She studied Regan’s body, flushed and soft and perfectly curvy. “Now stay that way until I say otherwise.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Mel tore open a condom and eased it over the dildo.

  “That harness isn’t rubbing against your tattoo, is it?” Regan asked. She wrung her fingers above her head in an effort to keep still.

  “It’s okay.” Mel settled between Regan’s spread legs and leaned up for another kiss. “I’ve been wanting to be with you this way for so long.”

  Regan brought her hands down to rest on Mel’s shoulders, kneading the muscles there with firm fingers. Mel recaptured her lips and groaned into her open mouth. She shifted her hips to press against Regan, creating delicious pressure between her own legs, and moved her mouth from lips to jaw to throat. She was on fire.

  “Just—” Regan whimpered into Mel’s hair, and clutched at her broad shoulders. “Just go slow, okay?”

  Mel touched the side of Regan’s face with a tender hand, then traced her fingers up and over her eyebrow. “Of course, baby.”

  She held herself up on one arm and slid her hand between their bodies. She ran her fingers through the wet curls between Regan’s legs, then farther down to stroke her hot, swollen labia. Regan was unbelievably wet; liquid covered Mel’s hand and she pressed a finger inside of her with ease.

  “I love how you feel,” she whispered into Regan’s ear. She slid her finger in and out, listening to Regan’s breathing and delighting in the way Regan grabbed at her back and shoulders with frantic hands. “So hot and wet and tight.”

  Mel withdrew, then pressed into her again with two, muffling Regan’s cry with a kiss. She lifted her head when she felt Regan’s hips begin to move in rhythm with the motion of her hand. “Does that feel good?”

  “Yes. Yeah.”

  “Are you ready for more?” Mel stared into Regan’s eyes in awe even as she asked the question. “I love you,” she whispered before Regan could speak. “I love you so much and you feel so good.”

  “I love you,” Regan gasped back, her voice hushed. “Give me more, baby. I want you inside me.”

  Mel eased her fingers out of Regan, and reached down to grasp the dildo so she could guide the head to Regan’s entrance. She rubbed it back and forth through the wetness she found there before pressing the tip just barely inside. Inflamed, she looked up at Regan for a moment before glancing down again to watch the dildo slide into her lover.

  “I love watching my cock disappear inside of you.” Mel whispered the words into Regan’s ear, grinning when she heard the expected intake of shaky breath and felt Regan squirm beneath her. She laid her forehead on Regan’s shoulder when strong legs wrapped around her waist to pull her deeper inside.

  “It feels so good.”

  Mel turned her head and kissed Regan again, thrusting her tongue into her mouth in the same lazy rhythm that her hips thrust the dildo in and out of her body. Regan’s bare skin was damp and slightly sticky against her own warm flesh, driving Mel mad. Knowing it wouldn’t be long before she came again, she fucked Regan with gentle strokes, loving strokes, and alternated between staring into hazy green eyes and kissing and sucking on full lips. They traded quiet moans into one another’s mouths, both muffling their cries in an effort to stay as silent as possible. The need to keep quiet created in Mel a razor-sharp attunement to Regan’s responses—her body language, the way she was sweating, the soft noises that managed to escape her mouth—and she was aware that Regan was getting close to orgasm.

  Mel began to thrust her hips in earnest, emboldened by the way Regan tightened her thighs and slid her hands down to grab at her ass and urge her harder and deeper. She could feel her own climax building deep in her belly, and lifted her upper body on planted hands, moving against Regan in a del
iberate cadence.

  Regan lowered her head and captured a nipple that was suspended inches above her mouth, sucking hard on Mel’s breast. Mel ground her clit against the base of the dildo strapped to her, gritting her teeth in an effort to stave off the orgasm that threatened to overwhelm her.

  It was going well, and she thought she could last until Regan released her nipple and looked up at her with stormy green eyes, murmuring, “Come inside me, Mel. I want to feel you come inside of me.”

  Mel came. Those words—whispered and passionate—were all it took. She came and shook and cried out into Regan’s mouth, against Regan’s tongue, and she lost herself in the feeling of soft skin and hot wetness and gasping, clutching hunger.

  Just when she could breathe again, when she began to feel in control of the erratic thrusting of her body, Regan quivered and cried out as well. Her body stiffened beneath Mel’s, her blunt nails dug into Mel’s back, sending Mel crashing over the edge again.

  She buried her face in Regan’s neck and absorbed the pleasure she felt wracking her lover’s body, allowing it to unleash a new wave of sensation throughout her own. She held Regan tightly against her, basking in the feeling of her soft hands moving against her skin in mindless patterns, stroking and reassuring. She knew she was doing the same thing to Regan, touching and pulling at her, delighting in skin against skin, wishing she could consume her to sate the need that pounded through her body.

  Mel couldn’t form a coherent thought in the aftermath of their climaxes; she was all instinctive feeling and emotion. When at last she could breathe again, she raised her head to stare into familiar green eyes. “That was fucking amazing.”

  Regan tipped back her head on the pillow and laughed, low and throaty. “It was, yes.” She lifted her head and pressed a soft kiss to Mel’s chin. “You are.”

  Mel closed her eyes in silent appreciation of the woman wrapped around her body. She made a decision. “I want to give you something, Regan.”

  Regan laughed again, sliding her hands down to cup Mel’s buttocks and pull her even more tightly against her. The dildo that still rested inside of Regan shifted a little at the movement. “I thought you just did.”

  Mel took a moment to steel her nerve. “I mean it, Regan. I want to give you something.”

  Regan’s eyes grew tender at her serious tone. “All right.”

  Mel kissed her again as she withdrew from her body, swallowing Regan’s groan. She stood, legs weaker than ever, and left Regan lying on the bed. Without a word, watching Regan’s face, she unhooked the harness and escaped to the bathroom to clean up.

  Her mind raced as she washed the dildo with soap and water. This is no big deal. It’s just a present… It doesn’t have to mean anything. Mel scoffed, looking up at her face in the mirror. She looked scared to death. She leaned closer, inspecting. At least the bruises really had faded.

  It’s a ring, though. She stared into her own eyes. Everyone knows that means something.

  She wasn’t going to let anything deter her from this. Regan loved her just as much as she loved Regan. She knew it deep in her soul.

  Regan was still lying in bed when she emerged from the bathroom, a haphazard sheet pulled up to cover her hips. She sat up, looking concerned. “Are you okay, baby? All of a sudden you seem…upset.”

  “I’m fine, I promise.” Exhaling shakily, Mel crossed the room to kneel next to her bag, tucking the dildo and harness back inside and, after a momentary pause, unzipping a smaller pocket to retrieve a little black box.

  With the ring in her hand, she was beset by new doubts. I should’ve bought something better, right? She turned the fuzzy black box over and over in her hand, staring down at what suddenly seemed like a sorry token. Is this even good enough to mean anything?

  “Get a grip,” she mumbled under her breath the moment the irrational thought took hold. “Jesus.”

  “Mel?” Regan’s voice was tentative. “Are you sure? You don’t have to give me anything if it’s making you upset.”

  When Mel looked up, her fear and nervousness vanished. She could see the depth of love in Regan’s gaze, and she felt her soul filled with the love she felt in return.

  She walked to the bed and sat next to Regan, who scooted back on her elbows to sit up against the headboard, hands folded in her lap. Looking down at the black box in her hand, then back up at Regan, who had also noticed the box, Mel gathered her words.

  “I want you to know that the time I’ve spent with you, especially this road trip, has been the best experience of my life.” She took Regan’s hand in hers and stared into eyes that shone with deep emotion. “I bought something for you in Santa Fe, the day after you told me you love me.” Sheepish, she added, “The day I told you that I love you.” Looking up, she saw Regan had the most indescribable expression on her face, which brought a smile to her own. “It really isn’t much. I mean, it’s nothing very special. And it doesn’t have to mean anything, but—”

  Regan pressed her fingertips against Mel’s lips to interrupt her rambling. “Mel.”

  Mel leaned into the caress. “I just want you to know, I love you.” She offered the box she held to Regan, who took it with a trembling hand.

  Regan made a small noise when she opened the box, and her lips worked in silent effort for a moment before stopping, still parted. Mel looked down with Regan at the thin 10-carat gold Claddagh ring, and felt her chest flutter when Regan reached out to trace the design with her fingertip.

  “Like I said, it isn’t anything much. And you don’t have to wear it if—” Mel took a deep breath. “If you don’t want to. But it doesn’t have to mean anything, really, I just—”

  Regan lifted the ring out of the box and held it in two fingers, staring at it with a tiny smile. “I love it.” She paused, then murmured, “What does it mean to you?”

  “It means…I know the beginning of us has been intense, but I’m looking forward to spending all my more mundane days with you.” Mel locked eyes with Regan as the words poured from her mouth. “It means I never want to be with anyone else again, for the rest of my life. It means you’re my best friend and the most incredible lover I’ve ever had.” Leaning forward, she took Regan’s hand again. “It means I want to hold you at night when we go to sleep and be the first thing you see in the morning when you wake up. It means I want things from you that I’m afraid to ask, because I know it must be crazy, how fast all of this has happened.” She gave Regan a rueful smile and squeezed her hand. “It means I make long, heartfelt speeches that make me feel silly, all because I can’t let you drive us home without telling you that I don’t want all of this to end tomorrow. I want to be with you all the time.”

  Regan launched herself into Mel’s arms, knocking her backward onto the bed. She dropped tender kisses all over Mel’s face, on her eyebrows and cheeks, lips and chin. “Thank you,” she breathed. “Thank you for being brave enough to say what I’ve been wanting to say. I don’t want this to end tomorrow, either. I want to always be with you. Every day.”

  Mel wrapped her arms around Regan and shifted them so that she was lying back against the pillows, Regan snuggled on top of her chest. “You don’t even understand how nervous that all just made me.”

  Regan smiled. “Actually, I think I do. That just makes it even more special to me.”

  “I thought for sure you’d think I was moving too fast.”

  Regan shook her head and brought her left hand up so she could poise the ring she still held over the ring finger. “No,” she whispered. “When it’s this right, I’m not sure there’s such a thing as too fast.”

  Mel reached out and took the ring from Regan before she could put it on. Then, holding Regan’s gaze, she slipped the gold band over her finger. They clung together in a tight embrace, and Mel enjoyed the peace she felt at the sound of Regan’s heartbeat thumping beneath her ear. When the steady rhythm picked up after a couple minutes, and Mel raised her head.

  “So would I be moving too fast if I ask
ed you to think about living with me?” Regan asked.

  Mel blinked in surprise at the question. She opened her mouth to respond, elated, only to deflate a little when familiar worry took hold. Everything was still so uncertain in her life, and the last thing she wanted was to feel like she was taking advantage of Regan. But she had to live somewhere, right? And why not go where she wanted to be? “And I’ll pay for half of everything?”

  “Does that mean you’ll think about it?” Regan asked with a beaming grin.

  “If I can afford it, and not be a burden to you, then yes. I’ll more than think about it.”

  “Let’s worry about money and reality later, okay, baby?” Regan laid her head down on Mel’s shoulder. “I’ll just focus on the ‘yes’ part of all that.”

  “Deal.” This was crazy, Mel was sure, but at least they were crazy together.

  When she realized that Regan was struggling not to fall asleep, she rolled them onto their sides and spooned against her lover, wrapping an arm around Regan’s middle.

  “Go to sleep now, baby.” She kissed the back of Regan’s neck. “I love you.”

  “Love you, too,” Regan murmured. She pressed her bottom into Mel. “This has been the best experience of my life, too.”

  Mel waited until she felt Regan’s body relax, then whispered one final promise in her lover’s ear. “I’m gonna try to make you so happy.”

  *

  Mel couldn’t sleep. She stared at a glowing alarm clock, holding Regan in her arms. It was almost three in the morning and she felt as restless as a caged animal. Regan was sleeping hard, her body limp and heavy in slumber, but her measured breathing did nothing to calm Mel’s mind. She was wired from their lovemaking and the intense moments that had followed it.

  Sleep wasn’t coming to her, she was sure of it. She was full of energy. In fact, she really wanted to draw. With that decision, she maneuvered out from under Regan’s body with as much care as she could manage and rose from the bed in silence, replacing her body with a pillow. Placing a gentle hand on Regan’s shoulder, she left her with a subtle squeeze.