Then a shocking accident occurred at Coningsby.
Witnessed a tragic crash as a Manchester – tail fin shot up from Brest raid tried to land – visibility poor – he overshot – tried to take off again – lost control – plane rose vertically like a wounded monster – stood in midair and plunged into the ground & exploded …
(JJD 18 December 1941)
He added a postscript to his letter to the Pony Club:
We just had a bad show on our drome – a Manchester back from a daylight raid on Brest – badly shot up crashed on the drome as we were all standing around and wiped the whole gang off – seven – three of whom were real good friends including a Canadian.6 Tough break all around – amazing the way you get hardened to tragedy and remain unshaken at such scenes. (JJL 18 December 1941)
By this time Joe had learned of the death of many of his fellow airmen, either by their failure to return from a raid or by reading the casualty lists. Actually witnessing the event, however, was uncommon. Even if one saw an aircraft shot down over target, illuminated by a cone of searchlights, it was at a distance and there was no way of knowing which crew was involved. The flyers never saw their comrades’ charred and mangled bodies on the ground, as did the German soldiers who inspected the crash sites the next morning. In this respect, the airman’s experience of war was very different from that of the infantryman’s. To watch an airplane crash and its crew burn to death before one’s eyes was horrifying and deeply unsettling, despite Joe’s proclaimed equanimity.
In the midst of all this, Joe continued his program of self-education. He told Janine:
I am in the middle of an excellent essay “civilization” by Clive Bell. Since we are supposed to be fighting for civilization my father thought I ought to make sure I know or realize exactly what civilization was and is and so sent me this book. It is a remarkably reasoned essay that can stand much studying and pondering upon. (JJL 18 December 1941)
Bell, an art critic and aesthete associated with the Bloomsbury Group, had posed himself the question of what constituted civilization, since Britain claimed to have fought for it in the previous war. His analysis was grounded in the values of the Enlightenment, as understood by England’s classically educated cultural elite. A civilized society, Bell claimed, was marked by a sense of values expressed in appreciation of beauty, aesthetics, and truth, and the application of reason. The essay was a forthright apologetic for elitism that asserted the necessity of a leisured class to develop and disseminate civilization and its values. Joe appreciated the book, saying that he “[didn’t] agree with all points” but “sympathized with most.” Clive Bell could hardly be confused with Tim Buck, but given Joe’s newly absorbed political perspective and his own background, he could easily have elided elitism with vanguardism.
Weary all day after last night’s [mess party] & yesterday’s soccer game – the squadron is starting to bind again insisting on gas masks – P.T. – discipline – training, schedule, etc. – this bull always occurs when ops fall off – I would not mind training & learning if they taught us something new & original – we should be experimenting with new tactics – new ways & methods of doing things – after 150 hours operation flying over Germany I don’t need elementary training. (JJD 20 December 1941)
Another moan – we lost another plane on daylights today – on sneakers7 – another example of our stupid air brass hats use of skilled airmen – a single Hampden as outdated as the hills is sent alone by daylight on a 1000 mile trip over Germany to bomb an objective & shake up the people relying for protection on low cloud & an ardent prayer – sneakers my eye – suicide & for a stupid objective not worth the waste in lives. (JJD 21 December 1941)
Daylight sneakers, also known as “cloud cover attacks” or “mole operations,” were among Bomber Command’s more desperate experiments that winter. 5 Group had initiated them on 10 December, using Hampdens, and 106 Squadron had sent four Hampdens out in daylight on the 12th, losing one. The idea was to make surprise low-level attacks using cloud cover for concealment. These were thought to be “comparatively safe and provide excellent training in navigation, blind flying, and low bombing.”8 Preferred targets were railway lines that could be easily followed and that offered the possibility of derailing trains on open track or of leading to a factory. Crews were instructed to abort such operations if cloud cover broke up; nonetheless, losses on such raids approached 5 percent.
In the middle of another brassed off period – the result of inaction – without the stimulus of danger & the prospect of death & excitement I get lazy, dissatisfied – for a while I can read seriously – but reading & binging become monotonous – I steer clear of women so I had better have a trip in a hurry – or perhaps it is the underlying suspense when not flying that tends to get you down. (JJD 22 December 1941)
Christmas 1941 was a subdued affair for Joe, compared to the festivities in Moose Jaw the year before.
Xmas is a time for family gatherings – I miss those warm friendly gatherings circulating around my family – especially Pop & Mom – during war there is too much grabbing & grasping for pleasure – people wanting the pleasures of a lifetime in one evening – the result is usually a drunk & sexual intercourse up a back alley – neither pleasure under such circumstances being really satisfactory. (JJD 23 December 1941)
Food – liquor & luxury to spare – we served the airmen before settling in to our own mighty feed reminiscent of former mighty feeds – everybody happy but I miss some of the old gang – now killed or scattered – however many are still intact & still able to celebrate merrily & freely which we did. (JJD 25 December 1941)
Had a sumptuous dinner with Mrs. Lettice & her crew – all well meaning but intellectually – socially & morally binding & stifling – and anything but stimulating – Churchill made a great speech in the American Senate which will inspire America & Britain to work in closer contact – (JJD 26 December 1941)
Personal outlook – lack of action – increase in festivity – renewed regulations & binding training schedule on squadron stumped my reading & thinking during the past week – made no headway – probably lost ground – … all we now do is crab – complain & beef we don’t know how lucky we are to be let off so easily around here.
(JJD 27 December 1941)
Before departing on a week’s crew leave, Joe wrote home about Christmas on his station:
Considerable fog blanketed country for entire period, making flying impossible –
… sergeants and officers on our squadron mingle with one another at all times – the officers to the extent of having their pants hauled down and the hose turned on them by us during a rambunctious celebration in our mess. We fly together – we go out together and stand for no monkey business in the way of formality.
… [his gang] two Welshmen, two Irishmen, two Scotsmen, one American and two Canadians. … had a wizard time listening to a vivid description on the radio of a job our squadron (we were all on) did blowing up a big factory in Germany – quite a contrast blasting a factory one night – then mauling a turkey and a liquor cabinet on the next …
Despite … shortages of most Xmas necessities, people in and out of the services in England can still manage to let loose with friendship and generosity and relax and enjoy a festive occasion whilst still striving against destruction, and existing in the most tumultuous, stirring and uncertain period of their collective lives. Whilst many people have much to be sad about and more to be worried about they still have a good sense of perspective and can laugh and sing on occasion and appreciate their position in relation to others and also in relation to what it could be – I think that it is with renewed confidence if with increased responsibilities that they start back on the old grind with a feeling of determination perhaps a touch of exhilaration because of recent trends and certainly still with a sense of humour. …
You ask who Dave is … his pop is a coal miner – they are thru force of circumstances socially conscious – here called communistic �
� he has given me most of the literature I can read fairly varied and including all topics but I don’t get time to get down to it thoroughly …
About life on operational squadron I cannot say much … we have a first rate group of men especially the older ones in point of service – the newer men don’t have the background, education and general outlook of the more experienced men who were in from the first – I can’t tell you anything about operational trips and probably never shall – I am used to them being the oldest navigator but one or two on the squadron – we don’t bother about talking about what we do – we get a kick out of the whole show and leave it go – when not on operations there are too many other things to occupy us – (JJL 30 December 1941)
Bomber Command operations had been much reduced in December, even during the moon period in the first week. Selfe and his crew did not fly again until the end of the month when the squadron returned, for a third time, to bomb the synthetic rubber plant at Huls.
3 AM – just arrived back from a raid on Huls – dropped my 2000 lb parachute bomb square in the middle and blew it sky high – my explosion & fire was seen 60 miles away – Selfe still ropey – swung us around the aerodrome on takeoff bounced us landing – but he’s learning – had a nice singsong on way home – in high fettle now. (JJD 28 December 1941)
Guided my pupil safely thru – we started badly swinging to starboard on the take off – nearly crashing with our bomb load – we pulled up in time and started over again – this time successfully.
We weaved thru the searchlight belt without getting picked up – I map read in the bright moonlight to Dorstend – managed to avoid the hot spots until someone dropped a load of incendiaries lighting up the entire area –
We flashed in dropped our 2000 lb parachute bomb nipped out without getting picked up and watched our bomb rock, shake and shatter the area – then the fun began as everyone nipped in and bombed our large explosion and fire –
We sang Allouette coming home by way of celebration –
But the trip is not over until the wheels stop moving and you walk away – with Robin Selfe as Pilot – we hit the deck – bounced, bounded, swerved and finally pulled up as we merrily clamoured out.
(JJOD 28 December 1941)
They reported that their bombs and incendiaries fell across the target and started a fire. Roger Rousseau’s crew had been detailed as a fire raiser, but had been unable to reach the target on time so returned with their bombs as instructed.
Robin Selfe, 1941. (Courtesy Marilyn Farias)
The target, assigned exclusively to 5 Group, had not been much damaged in two previous raids. Picked crews were assigned to mark the target with incendiaries within a ten-minute period starting at 2030, with the remainder to concentrate their attacks over the next forty minutes. Although this was Joe’s third operation on Huls, with a new pilot his would not be one of the picked crews that would carry incendiaries for target marking. But he knew the target and he knew how to place parachute bombs. According to the squadron record, the target was easily located in moonlight, “and judging by the huge fires and numerous explosions there is little doubt that the raid was a complete success.” The fires were confirmed by the camera photos. No aircraft were lost, although flak was reported as intense and accurate. One aircraft was attacked and damaged by a night-fighter, but returned safely. Reconnaissance photos taken ten weeks later suggested that the plant was still only partially operative. This third raid had finally inflicted substantial damage that had not yet been fully repaired.
Bringing Joe up to date on the home front, Percy commented on recent press reports:
Don’t get led away by some of [the] things that are said about the French Canadians. They are alright with exceptions. These exceptions are a few leaders of the Hitler type who want to make political capital out of sowing seeds of discord between French and English. There are a number of this kind in Ontario amongst the English Protestants. I hope you will take a broad view of this whole situation. Study it well from all angles and avoid being led astray by what you hear and read. This is your province. It will be your job to try and maintain amity between the French and the English. (PJL 21 December 1941)
As the new year approached, Percy wrote to Joe of his high hopes and expectations for him:
I never thought it possible I could be able to write to my own son this way. Your letters have made it possible. I certainly do not think that if our lives had not been churned up by catastrophe that we could have written to each other the way we have done.
… With these letters [family and Pony Club] and your letters and your private log and the personal war diary I am keeping … certainly a pretty complete history of the past three years has been written. A very interesting one too I think … interesting perhaps beyond our own family circle. …
About your plans going to the Far East or training as fighter pilot … Neither your Ma or myself have a word to say except do what your inner self compels you to do … then you cannot do wrong. However, there is an old fable of mice and men or Man proposes and God disposes that will have something to do with your life. Churchill himself will tell you that … destiny shaped him for this moment … God be praised for that because he is now accepted by Americans, I should say the whole English speaking world as the leader for victory and peace. … Roosevelt equals him almost to a close second. Did you hear him speak to Congress. Everything you are doing, everything you [and Monty] are thinking today … is shaping you for your hour of destiny. Whether that destiny is with your own people or whether it is even in the larger sphere that is hidden. …
Last week’s letters I kept mostly to the facts of our living, this time I have been inspired by your letters to let myself go a bit in letting you know something that is in my heart and thoughts. I mean it about your destiny, some firecrackers sputter and go off prematurely pure waste, even if a bit spectacular at the time, the real stuff goes off with a magnificent bang, the timing is perfect, the result magnificent. … I think I have been mostly sputtering but it is hard to say, I might have made a direct hit somewhere … time only will tell. So Joe I am going to end this letter on that note. (PJL 29 December 1941)
Twenty-Eight
New Directions
Joe’s crew leave began on the last day of the year. He immediately headed to London to meet Monty, with whom he spent most of the next seven frenetic days. First, they took the train to Salisbury to meet an American friend from their summer camp days.
Spent a magnificent New Years Eve with the doctors & nurses & officers at the A.R.C. [American Red Cross] – the finest New Years Eve of our lives – went right thru the night … ideal women – gents & clean cut fun – jauntily left the Red Cross without sleeping a wink – took the bus to Bournemouth washed & shaved & found Dan & Henriette.
(JJD 1 January 1942)
The next day, Joe and Monty returned to London, and the day after that Joe went on his own to visit Janine and her family. As much as he enjoyed the day, he commented that he and Monty had a more intelligent & livelier time together. He returned to London the next day, where he bumped into his cousin Leonard Silver, who was serving in the Canadian Army and, as he told his parents, was looking
dapper, tough and fit – I told him I heard he had been stepping out with Betty who up and married another Canuck. He told me he heard I was trotting around with Janine which explains my hasty declaration of independence … to thoroughly dispel any doubts as to my Spartan leanings. (JJL 9 January 1942)
Met Monty … had a few beers – got our tickets & were in the Savoy by 6 PM The Man Who Came to Dinner was excellent … we went back stage after – met some of the cast – took a couple out for drinks – talked theatre – went to the café – looked around town & turned in tired.
(JJD 5 January 1942)
Mub & I decided Janine too fond of me situation getting too involved – for a Poneyite. (JJD 6 January 1942)
Met Janine – had dinner – went to see old acquaintance – left earl
y so Mub could catch train to Glasgow – missed it – binged around town finished off with 2 hour walk around Hyde Park discussing philosophy etc. – had a feed back at hotel & turned in at 3 AM to sleep for 3 hrs – end of a magnificent leave … (JJD 7 January 1942)
Back on sqdr reflecting on leave Janine not the girl for me a great kid but continental upbringing & outlook entirely diff[erent] from mine – besides I don’t want to get tied down to her – Mub a magnificent man – level head – bright intellect – balanced outlook sporting spirit – we had an epic week together – should accomplish something in life together or alone … we know or are learning how to live as well as act – Monty will be a prominent vital man some day – so will I. (JJD 8 January 1942)
Joe wrote Monty that he had got back from his leave at 1:30 PM and “got away with it,” but found a few things had changed:
1. I am on a daylight schedule every second day – the bastards – sneakers at that.
2. We are being converted to Lancasters in a month or so.
3. We have to train on Manchesters by night and day around England
4. Besides all that we are on regular operations
5. The bloody squadron is going to be moved in a month or so to Syerston
6. I think that all 48 hour passes have been cancelled
7. It looks like work and binding schedules and training – my only hope is to pray for nice weather and get the hell out and on a pilot’s course before the squadron moves and is converted. I don’t want to do my last few trips on a blinking experimental machine before it is perfected.
8. All the boys safe and sound – all except a flt sgt friend – DFM – lost on his 63rd trip.1 …
11. Bought Thomas Paine’s “Rights of Man” on the way up. …
13. Rec’d Janine’s New Year letter – alas she is too fond of me – alas a withdrawal will have to take place – alas I shall probably be cussed up and down by all parties concerned – alas I shall extract myself only to find that she wanted to do likewise and that I really liked her all along – alas you bugger you are responsible for ruining an innocent romance with all your bloody logic and reasoning …
Joey Jacobson's War Page 33