K'lrsa stepped between them. "Don't."
Her father advanced, the knife clutched in his hand.
"Dad. Put the knife away."
Her father darted around her and almost knifed Badru in the side.
"Dad! Stop it."
Badru circled to keep her between them. "He's not your father, K'lrsa."
"What?"
Her father grabbed her wrist and started to pull her away. "Don't listen to him."
"Let go of me." She jerked free of his grip, using a move Badru had taught the tribes.
She backed away from both of them. "What is going on here? Badru, what are you talking about?"
He kept a wary eye on her father as he spoke. "There was supposed to be a third challenge, remember? A challenge of the spirit."
She glanced at her father and her stomach dropped.
No.
Please, not that.
"You think this is the third challenge?"
He nodded. "Can you give up the person you love most in this world to move forward and obtain the knowledge you need?"
She flicked a glance between him and her father. "So this wasn't real? He's not real?" Her voice trembled with tears.
Badru nodded.
"But…" She stared at the man she'd thought was her father. "Are you sure?"
Badru grimaced. "Yes. Think about it. Was your father always perfect? Did he always have time for you and say all the right things and did you always get along?"
She shrugged. "Mostly, yes."
"But always, K'lrsa? Every moment of every day? Could you have really spent two straight days with him and been perfectly happy?"
"Well…" She winced, remembering the times her father had really annoyed her with his stupid jokes. "No."
"But you could with this man, right? Because he isn't your real father with all his flaws and imperfections. He's who you remember your father to be. He's the best version of him."
"How do you know that?" She crossed her arms, fighting the urge to run to her father and bury herself in his arms.
"Because the same thing happened to me, K'lrsa. It just took me less time to realize it."
She frowned. "Who did you see?"
His lips quirked into a half-smile. "You."
"What? How's that possible?"
He shrugged, eyeing her father warily. "You walked away with your father and when I followed, there you were. Both of you. We had dinner together and talked and…That night…You and I…" He shook his head. "Look, the details don't matter. But I finally realized it wasn't really you."
"How?"
He laughed. "You were too nice to me. And you didn't care that your father was there because we finally had time to be alone together. It…It wasn't you. It was who I hoped you'd be, but not really. I love how much you love your family. And as much as I'd love to spend all day in bed with you sometime, I know you never would if your family was there, too."
K'lrsa laughed softly.
She turned to the man she'd thought was her father. "So you're not real."
"No. But I do love you and I am proud of you and I know you can do anything…"
"Oh, stop it! If you're built on my memory of him then your love and your pride are, too."
He bowed his head, just like her father had when she'd upset him when he was still alive.
K'lrsa turned away, shaking, fighting the urge to weep. She hated the gods. Hated them! "How do we leave this place?"
"You just have to ask," the man who wasn't her father replied. He waved a hand and a small arch appeared in the center of the clearing, just wide enough for two.
"What about the others?" she asked.
"They have to make it through on their own."
"No." She shook her head. "That's not true. Badru found me. We can find them."
She flinched at the thought of pulling Lodie away from the laughing little girl who must be her daughter, but they had to do it.
Badru turned to her father. "Lead us to the others."
"Very well. Follow me."
K'lrsa grabbed Badru's hand—just in case it was a trick—and followed her father down a green-tiled path that appeared on the edge of the clearing.
Chapter 76
They walked in silence, K'lrsa studying the back of the man she'd thought was her father. Even though she now knew it wasn't him she still treasured the time they'd spent together. Badru was right. It had been the best of her father. A condensed version of all her favorite memories brought to life.
Eventually, they reached another clearing.
In the center was a loud, laughing group of people, all as pale-skinned and fair-haired as Vedhe. She sat in their midst laughing so hard she snorted whatever she was drinking up her nose which just made her laugh even more.
She looked so happy.
K'lrsa stood on the edge of the clearing, Badru at her side, and watched as Vedhe talked to the man next to her, her eyes full of light and joy.
Was it fair? To take her from this place?
Did it matter that it wasn't real?
Didn't Vedhe deserve some level of happiness after all she'd lost? Shouldn't she be allowed to believe for as long as she could?
Badru whispered in her ear, "We need to tell her."
"Do we really?"
He nodded.
She sighed. He was probably right.
Vedhe did deserve to know she was being tricked by the gods. That this was all a cruel lie.
She might still choose to stay anyway…
K'lrsa wouldn't blame her if she did. Of course, how could she stay, knowing the truth?
K'lrsa turned and studied the man who looked just like her father. "I've missed him, you know."
"He's missed you, too." He looked down at her with her father's brown eyes and she trembled at the cruelty of it. That whatever this man was should look and act just like the father she remembered.
She closed her eyes.
"Be well," he said.
When she opened her eyes, he was gone.
She fought the urge to call him back, to go racing down the path to the clearing in hopes of finding him once more.
She had to let go.
Her real father, the flesh and blood man who'd raised her, would want her to carry on. He'd be devastated if he knew she'd sacrificed even one life to spend more time with a memory of him.
She bowed her head for a moment, regretting bitterly how deeply he'd instilled that sense of duty. Had he known then how much it might cost her?
She took Badru's hand and they stepped into the clearing. "Vedhe," she called.
"Krissa. Badru." Vedhe stood, smiling. "My family." She pointed at each one, saying names K'lrsa couldn't possibly pronounce or remember, but K'lrsa nodded each time, allowing her another moment of happiness.
Badru nodded. "It's very nice to meet all of you."
K'lrsa just kept smiling, too torn to speak.
The family immediately turned back to their conversation as if no one else was there. The man next to Vedhe tugged on her arm, pointing at something on the table, but she shook him off and came to join K'lrsa and Badru, dodging a girl and boy who were chasing one another through the clearing, both laughing so hard they could barely stand.
Vedhe smiled, her joy so bright it eclipsed the scars on her face. She nodded towards the children. "My sister. And brother child."
K'lrsa almost turned and left.
What right did she have to destroy that joy? To force Vedhe back into the world that had killed these people.
But she knew even if she didn't, Badru would.
K'lrsa took a deep breath, willing herself to speak, but Vedhe spoke first. "Not real."
"What?" K'lrsa asked.
Vedhe nodded to the people in the clearing. "Not real family. Dream."
"You know?"
Vedhe shrugged one shoulder. "Know. Not care. Still family." Tears filled her eyes.
K'lrsa threw an arm around her shoulder as they watched the children chase
one another and the adults raise their glasses with a shout and laughter. "If you want to stay, you can. We'd understand. I know saving my people isn't…That you don't…That they don't matter to you like they do to me. And that's fine, they shouldn't. I…I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to stay here forever."
Vedhe shook her head. "No. Like family. But not family. Time to leave."
"Are you sure?"
Vedhe nodded. "Goodbye first."
She walked back to the group and hugged each one in turn, kissing them on each cheek, whispering a few words. The little girl she saved for last. She swung her through the air and laughed as the girl giggled and shrieked in excitement.
She set the girl down, whispered a few words to her, and then hugged her fiercely. When she let go of the girl at last, they all disappeared.
Vedhe came back to them, looking far more at peace with her decision than K'lrsa was.
"Where now?" Vedhe asked, looking back and forth between them.
"Lodie." K'lrsa gestured to the red-tiled path that had just appeared on the far side of the clearing.
They followed it into the lush green vegetation, walking in silence, weighed down by what they'd left behind.
Chapter 77
The red-tiled path eventually ended in a small grassy clearing next to a pond. The little girl who had toddled up to Lodie when they first arrived was sitting in the pond, splashing in the water, laughing and smiling, as content as any child could be.
Lodie sat on the bank watching her with a handsome young man at her side. Their heads were close together as they talked softly, laughing and touching. It was strange to see a woman as old as Lodie acting like a young woman newly in love.
K'lrsa glanced at the others.
"We have to tell her," Badru said.
Vedhe shrugged one shoulder.
K'lrsa turned to argue with Badru, but he'd already stepped into the clearing. "Lodie."
Lodie tensed, but she didn't look at him.
"Lodie," Badru said once more. He stood behind her, just an arm's reach away.
"Go away." Lodie didn't turn. Her fingers clutched the hand of the man next to her.
Badru moved around in front of her, blocking her view of the little girl. Lodie moved just enough to keep her in view, but still wouldn't look at him.
K'lrsa joined him. "Lodie? We need to talk to you. Why don't you come with us? Just for a bit."
"No. Go away."
"But Lodie…This isn't real." K'lrsa winced to say the words. "This man and this child, they're not the ones you lost. They're…"
"Don't you think I know that, child?" Lodie looked up, her eyes full of tears. "I know more about this city than anyone left in the tribes. I know its secret. I also know that most of the dead only stay for a season, maybe two, waiting for their lost loves before they move on. A few stay longer, but not this long."
She looked out at the child, still laughing and playing in the water. "And children? They never stay. Not even for a season."
"But then, I don't understand. If you know that they aren't real, why won't you leave with us?"
Lodie laughed, a harsh, barking sound. "Because this is all I have left of them. When I step through the next arch, they're gone forever. At least here I can have them as I remember them."
"But what about the tribes? We have to continue if we're going to save them."
"I gave up my real life to save Herin. Wasn't that enough?"
K'lrsa fell back before her anger.
Badru knelt down in front of her. "Lodie. You can't stay here forever."
"Why not? I'm fed. I have a place to sleep and bathe."
K'lrsa bit her lip. "But we don't know how long you can stay here before it becomes impossible to return to the real world."
Lodie shook her head. "It's already too late for me."
"What are you talking about?"
Badru stood, blocking Lodie from her view. "Lodie, don’t."
"You should tell her."
"Not yet."
K'lrsa moved to the side so she could see both of them. "What are you talking about?"
They ignored her. Lodie nodded towards the center of the clearing where an arch had appeared. "As soon as you step through she'll know."
"Know what?" K'lrsa demanded.
Badru clenched his jaw.
"Tell her now, Badru. If you have any hope, you have to be the one to tell her."
"Badru? What is she talking about?"
He shook his head. "It's already too late. She won't…" He shook his head. A small tear beaded one of his eyelashes.
"Badru! What is it? What haven't you told me?"
He sighed. "You know how Herin said that coming here would be the death of me?"
"Yes. But you're fine. It was…It was Herin and Garzel who died." She swallowed against the memory.
"It wasn't just them."
"What are you talking about? You're fine."
"No. I'm not. I'm already dead."
"What?" She stared at him. "How are you standing here if you're dead? This isn't funny, Badru."
"I know."
"Then explain yourself!" She shouted so loud the little girl in the pool stopped playing and stared at her.
Badru looked around as if searching for the words as K'lrsa glared at him, waiting.
"Remember when we entered the city?"
"Yes."
"And there was writing over the arch?"
"Yes."
"Well, Herin lied about what it said." He glanced at her and away again. "The Hidden City has two entrances, one for the living and one for the dead. The gate we came through said, 'Only those who have not yet tasted death may enter here.' It was the gate of the living."
"And, so? What does that matter?"
Badru crossed his arms. "I've died before, K'lrsa. So has Lodie. So had Herin and Garzel."
"The death walker magic?"
He nodded. "Anyone who has been revived with death walker magic can never leave the Hidden City for the world of the living once they enter."
"But nothing happened to you. You look fine. You look…normal."
Lodie sighed. "In the Hidden City the living and the dead walk side-by-side, as real to one another as anyone. But the living can never go to the Promised Plains and the dead can never go back to the real world."
K'lrsa narrowed her eyes. "But I thought you said Aran wanted to come here. If he does that means he'll never be able to leave. He'll be stuck here forever."
"He won't care. He can rule from here forever. Over the world of the living and the world of the dead."
"But I thought most of the dead move on."
Lodie shrugged. "Aran isn't like most men."
"But how could he rule the world of the living if he can never go back there?"
"How does any man rule? Through the complicity of others."
K'lrsa looked back and forth between Lodie and Badru. "I don't understand why you came if you knew you were going to die."
"For you." Badru reached for her hand.
"For me?" Fury rushed through her body as she backed away from him. "How dare you?"
"You needed me here. To reach the center of the labyrinth. To save the tribes."
She ground her teeth so hard she thought they might break. "I could've done it alone. I would've rather that than have you give your lives."
Lodie snorted. "Really? You would've defeated that dragon all by yourself? Didn't need Herin and Garzel to distract it while you hid? Didn't need Badru to slice it open?"
K'lrsa glared at her. "I would've found a way."
"And here? Did you free yourself or did you need Badru to bring you back?"
Badru reached for her hand again, but she yanked it away. "K'lrsa, please. You have to understand."
"Understand what? That because of you and the choice you made, I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life? You didn't even ask me, Badru! You could've told me the risks. We could've talked it through. Together. But you just arrogant
ly chose to…"
"I chose to put my love for you above my self. Is that so bad?"
"When it takes you away forever? Yes! If you'd asked me what I'd rather have…"
"You would've chosen our happiness over the lives of everyone in the tribes. Over M'lara's life? And F'lia's? And D'lan's?"
She glared at him. "You didn't have to come. The others were enough."
He grabbed her hands and stared into her eyes. "I couldn't take that risk, K'lrsa. What if I'd stayed behind and you'd never come back? What then?"
She fought against the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. "At least there would've been a chance that we both survived. But this way…"
She pulled free. "I can't do this," she whispered.
"Yes, you can."
"I'm not that strong, Badru."
"Says the girl who let a slaver caravan take her hostage and who trained to be a dorana just so she could avenge her father."
She shook her head. "I didn't know better then."
"You're still strong enough to do this. And…If you want to, when this is all done, you can come back to me. I'll wait for you. We can be together still."
"I can't go to the Promised Plains with you."
"No. But we can stay here in the City together for as long as you want."
"And M'lara?"
"Bring her."
K'lrsa shook her head.
He pulled her close. "You don't have to decide now. Just know that I'll be here if you still want me. And, see? I'm as real as I ever was."
She shook her head, wondering how real that was.
She turned to Lodie. "So? Are you coming with us?"
"No."
K'lrsa nodded. She knelt down and took Lodie's hands in hers. "I…You helped me when you didn't have to. When you probably shouldn't have. And I'll be forever thankful for that. I'm sorry…I'm sorry my tribe didn't treat you better and I'm sorry it had to end this way."
Lodie patted her on the arm. "Nonsense. I get to spend as much time as I want with my daughter and husband. What could be a better end than that?"
K'lrsa bit back her reply and hugged Lodie instead. "I'll miss you."
"And I, you."
Badru nodded to Lodie. "I'll see you when you're ready to continue your journey."
Rider's Rescue (The Rider's Revenge Trilogy Book 2) Page 24