by Lei En Na
Her smile turns a litter bitter as things that have previously puzzled her finally fall in place. “The villagers fear you not because you look different but because they know who you really are. As for the young woman whom you treated, I had thought you are joking when you said that you can erase her memories so that she can start afresh.” Thinking of how hard he must have laughed at how gullible she is, her eyes filled with tears. “But it is not a joke isn’t it?”
The more she recounts the past, the angrier Feng Jin becomes. He does not feel remorseful for lying to her – sorry, that is just not in his make up – and just hear how cool she sounds! Her mild sarcasm, her tears…. #$&^%!!! He doesn’t care for the uncomfortable feeling when she cries. When she did not continue even after a long time, he barks. “Why have you stopped? Carry on! Speak what is on your mind! I am still listening.”
Seeing that he does not seem the least bit apologetic, Shang Guan Jing’s own anger mounts. “You are bluffing are you? The crap about bleeding on every 15th day of the lunar month; it is not any curse or illness at all right?!” Her body starts to quiver in anger. “I bet you are lying about that too, am I right?”
“Yes, I lied to you.” He admits openly, his eyes sharp. “I am the current head of the Diao family and am probably the most powerful person born into the family so far. My skin is discoloured at birth and according to the clan elders, it is probably because I have a higher mix of phoenix blood in my body than others. In any case, I am the only one in my family history who is born like that.”
He shrugs. “But power comes at a price and to bleed on each full moon is my bane to bear. Anyway, it is only bleeding from the facial orifices. it is no big deal. If I avoid using magic 24 hours before the rise of the full moon, I may not even bleed sometimes.”
“So your bleeding and discomfort were all an illusion that night?”
He did not answer which she took as acknowledgement until she recalls something. “The 2 oxens who suddenly charge at you…”
She starts coughing at her own naïveness. Her chest aches badly with each constriction and she starts slipping off the bed. Had not Feng Jin not reach out a hand to steady her, she would probably have fallen off the bed.
Face foul, he gathers her close and pats her back in hopes that she will breathe easier. Shang Guan Jing also tries hard to control her coughing but it is a while before she can speak again without each word burning a hole through her chest. “My teacher wanted me to give you the token and has said that you will know what to do next. Do you?”
Feng Jin did not answer. He can smell blood in her breath and in his mind, he replays the moment when she leap through the air to protect him, only to be hit from behind and knifed through the chest.
How has he bear to see that happening at that time, he does not know. At that moment, his chest has felt as if the sword has pierced through him from the pain he felt. Why was he able to stand idly by while she gets hurt? Perhaps in his subconscious, he wanted to her to be in pain, to suffer the same anguish he is feeling. But he no longer feels that way now. Just how had he been able to stand by and watch her get hurt?
Parting her hair, he drawls slowly. “Several generations ago, someone in the family left Nan Man to settle down elsewhere. We do not know his exact whereabouts but we heard that he finally settled around the Western Seas where he discovered a valuable ore mine. But I prefer the other version for the story….”
After her coughing and wheezing stops, he places her gently on the mattress and pulls the blanket over her. Throughout it all, Shang Guan Jing can barely keep her eyes open. She can feel his hand playing with her fingers that are exposed outside the blanket but she is too weak to protest at his touch. “So what is the other story?”
“The other version goes that that the Feng Zhu at that time was gay and he has fallen in love with his cousin. To keep things from being too complicated, the cousin who is my uncle of don’t-know-how-many-generations-removed, decided to leave home and have a clean break. Before he left, the Feng Zhu gave his personal token to his cousin for remembrance. The carvings on the token is actually a safety spell so the intent of the Feng Zhu is to protect his beloved cousin from harm.”
“So my teacher’s token…?”
“Your teacher is probably a descendant of the Diao family member who left Nan Man at that time. When I first saw the token, I noticed that there is a new spell written over the safety charm,. I believe your teacher knew how to cast spells and have added a new spell before giving it to you. I have told you before that your appearance in the cave is like a key that will unlock the presence of the token.” The concept of a new charm built on top of an old charm is very interesting, so naturally he has taken a second look when he had the chance.
“Unlock? Yes, I remember now. Er Shi Ge mentioned that the token is the key to enter the stone cave at the top of Yu Lin Peak. He believed that there are treasures inside and he has wanted me to hand over the toke. But I cannot do that. I cannot give him the token at all cost….”
Her voice breaks as she remembers the fights they had over the token. There has been confusion, fear, bitterness, but now there is something she must find out. “My Da Shi Jie and Er Shi Ge, are they…. are they still… alive?”
“What do you think?!”
He is as prickery as a porcupine right now, out to draw blood from whoever who dare touch him. But despite his visible anger, she needs to know. “Did you bury them?”
“Do I look like the type who need to clean up after rubbish?”
Even if she has fallen out with her seniors, Shang Guan Jing is grief-stricken by the fate of her Da Shi Jie and Er Shi Ge whom she has grew up with. Finally, when she can get around the lump around her throat, she mutters. “Finally, I have found the Diao family and accomplished what my teacher wanted me to do.” Trying to avoid her injured area, she takes out her leader’s token with some difficulty and hands it to him. “Since this belongs to the Diao family in the first place and since you can understand my teacher’s instructions, please take this back. As for me, I have finally accomplished what I need to do.”
Feng Jin has been putting up with her resentment but patience has never been his strong suit. “What do you think you are doing?!”
She smiles weakly. “I need to return back to Yu Ling peak and I need to leave as soon as possible. My Fourth Shi Mei is trapped there and I need to rush back for her.”
He glares at her. “So you are angry with me, upset with me. But you have also said that you will remain in Nan Man! Why have you changed your stance?!”
Shang Guan Jiing is unfazed. “I need to rush back.”
Feng Jin is right that she is angry over his deception and hates being played for a fool. But there is no rule stating that a person cannot go back to from she came from, especially now that she has accomplished her mission. Why can she not return home?
Feng Jin is incensed. Outside the room, peals of thunder boomed over the land. As he lifts his face to glare at her, the curtain of wooden beads hang over the door explode and the threads snapped and beads spew all over the room. “You are angry because I tricked you? You dare to get angry when you have tricked me in equal measure?”
Shang Guan Jing meets his eyes without flinching. “No, I did not.”
“Did not?! You dare say ‘did not?’!” He laughs coldly. “When I asked you if there is anyone waiting for you back at Yu Ling Peak, how did you answer me? You said no, there is no one waiting for you. You lied! I saw you with that cursed Bo Lan Zhou when he came to you in the forest! You two were obviously an item! The moment he appeared and talked to you, you started crying….”
He is so angry that could not see through the black haze that has fallen over his eyes. He struggles to control his anger and bites out hatefully. “You let him come close to you; touch you. Have you forgotten that you are married? You are my wife! If I do not agree to let you go, you can forget about going anywhere!”
She has never thought that she is the crying sort
but her eyes blurred with tears and they trickle down her face at his unreasonableness.
“Why are you crying?!” Angry and frustrated, it is hard to imagine that he has ever been gentle and considerate.
“I want to go back.” She is blacking out and need to put all her strength into her words. “And I am going back come what may.”
His answer to her is a sharp crack of thunder that exploded outside the room.
But Feng Jin has not known that there is always a higher peak beyond the highest mountain. When his wife starts coughing and coughing, until she curls up in pain like a cooked prawn, shaking like a leaf in the wind, even the most powerful Feng Zhu ever born can only let the thunder rumble while he hugs her close, at lost at how he can help her.
Finally, at his wits end, he cast a spell under his breathe and curses his wife to a sound sleep….
Chapter 9
* * *
Five days later.
In the dusky wilderness, 3 horses speed past a stone forest when suddenly, the first horse veers off track as its rider sways haphazardly on its back. The horse jerks to a stop and its rider collapses on its mane. As she jerks back from the rebound, she would have fallen off the horse if not for the second rider who has rode up and catches her. The second man is dressed in all white, which is a complete contrast to his current mood. As he plucks her unceremoniously off the horse, he barks at the third rider. “We will camp here for tonight!”
Yan Ying nods and starts tending to the horses. Five days ago, he has forsaken the shadows for the light (literally) so that he can protect his master and poor mistress more effectively as they journey to the Western Seas. The journey is long and silent but only an idiot can miss the stormy undercurrents between the other 2 travelers. Whenever possible, he would steer as far as possible from the couple as he can.
Shang Guan Jing was severely injured during the fight in the forest and has not recovered from her injury. By right, she should be bedridden had it not been for her insistence to return to Yu Ling Peak with utmost haste. As she is ‘escorted’ forcefully to sit on a grass patch in front of some boulders, she can feel a pool of blood building up in her throat. Physically, she is very frail but she knows that it is her mind that is more at risk of breaking down. Her mind has been in constant turmoil since five days ago, and she dares not think too deeply to what will happen next, nor analyze what has passed least she finds more evidence to show that she is even more stupid than she already is.
She swallows hard to keep the blood down and when she has controlled the urge to vomit, she opens her eyes and sees a pill resting on an outstretched hand in front of her. Wordlessly, she takes the pill and swallows the ‘Dragon’s blood’ before crossing her legs to meditate and direct the qi in her body. She would have given a lot to turn down the pill but she is in a hurry and can ill-afford to cause further delay when she is in no shape to travel.
Despite her misgivings, ‘Dragon blood’ is admittedly good stuff and is what that has kept her going. After half an hour of meditation, her breathing is back to normal and she opens her eyes. He is still kneeling in front of her and for a fleeting second when she looks into his eyes, she thought she saw something real in its depths. But she dares not linger on his eyes for long and turns her face away.
In the distance, peals of thunder rumbles through the sky and she sighs. “Why are you doing this?”
Feng Jin lights up at the first words she has spoken to him in days. “Why am I doing what?”
Why had he let her leave Nan Man, only to follow closely behind?
Why was he angry at her insistence to leave, only to be so concerned about her health?
Or why did he trample on her feelings, only to stick to her side like glue when she wanted an out?
Shang Guan Jing does not dare think too much and shakes her head. Her distant attitude irks our dear Master Feng and the sound of thunder grows closer and louder. He knows that she is referring to his concern – which she still dare question when she has been equally dishonest with him? In his opinion, it is the infuriating woman who has shortchanged him!
“Hmph! Why am I what? Following you? Since you are so set on leaving, does it makes any difference what I say? Or are you expecting me to beg you to stay?” His tone is light and sarcastic but his hands under his sleeves are clenched tightly which hinted that he is not as cool as he sounds. “If you want to leave, leave by all means! I am only doing I what I need to do when you passed me the token.”
When this finally got her to look at him, he smirks. “The token was a gift from our former Feng Zhu to your teacher’s ancestor and given the circumstances that it has been returned, can I ignore the unmistakable plea for help? As the current Feng Zhu, it is my responsibility to take care of the matter. Can I wash my hands off the matter even if I wanted to? Do I have a choice?”
When she gapes as if shocked, he panics and shots off his head. “I have sent someone to check out the situation on Yu Ling peak and she should be back within the next 2 days. You need not push yourself so hard if your body cannot keep up. Afterall, this is no longer your business and unlike me, someone can choose to wash her hands off this matter once she has thrust the token to me. Isn’t it so, Ms I-have-accomplished-my-mission?”
Shang Guan Jing is not feeling well and cannot really absorb all that he is saying. But the words ‘responsibility’ and ‘choice’ ring heavily in her mind. As she looks at his face covered with pink patches, it occurs to her that the patches will soon deepen into a dark red and make him look ‘freakish’ again. He will continue to bleed on every full moon night and at that time, where would she be? Who will be there with him?
She mutters the first words that come to mind. “Once this is over, you should write a divorce letter for me…”
A crack of lightening blasts through the heavens and lands in a sport not far from where she is. It hit a boulder which splintered into sand and dust. Feng Jin is so angry that he is visibly shaking. His eyes gleam with a vicious light and he stares so hard at her that he might just to laser a hole through her. Finally, he laughs. “There is no need to be so troublesome to settle our score. The solution is really easy.”
She does not understand and feels another chocked feeling of blood rising up her throat. As she fights the urge to cough out blood again, she hears him continuing coldly. “Just imagine. If I erase your memories and make you marry more one more time, won’t that solve everything?”
It became her turn to glare a hole through him and in her distraction, she fails to control her cough… and cough, and cough. Her face turns a dull red from and pretty soon, her lips and chin are covered in wisps of blood. As she closes her eyes at the discomfort, she missed seeing the thundering face of the man before her, nor the worry and regret in his eyes.
Alas, even if he is powerful, his magic cannot let him eat his words, damn….
******
Scum, Scum, Scum!
He does not know if he is scolding her or himself but who cares? Scum!
The night of camping outside the stone forest is destined to be a sleepless one. His wife is giving him the cold shoulder and as much as he would rather she hit him, scold him, quarter him, reality is always worse than imagination. He hates her indifference the most – and of all things, that seems to be her choice of method in dealing with him.
Scum!
And she dare mention a letter of divorce! Double scum!
If a person’s soul is made up of 10 parts, 7 parts of his has already vaporized from anger. To prevent him from doing something stupid that he may regret later – like erasing her memories for real – he cast a protective spell around her and storms off.
He should not have walked far but he seems to have entered a lush forest. When he recognized the familiar green grass beneath his feet and the surrounding trees and shrubs, he realized he must have fallen asleep and in his dreams, he has retuned to Nan Man.
He is back in the forest that he knows like the back of his hand. Fog envelope
s the trees and visibility is limited, but he strides confidently forward. As he follows a path that will lead to a clearing, he suddenly sees Shang Guan Jing front of him. Her outline is a little vague but he can see the faint smile on her face. “Jing!”
She did not turn around as if she did not hear him and disappears behind a curve.
Even though it is a dream, he can feel his heart constricting dully in his chest. His runs after her but cannot reach her even as he ran till he pants. “Jing!”
“Are you looking for me?” He swings around and sees her standing behind him. Her face is still a little fuzzy and her faint smile is still in place. “Yes, I am looking for you.”
“Looking for me? Why?”
“Because you are my wife.”
She shakes her head. “I am just your plaything.”
He glares at her and reaches for her hand. Unfortunately, he only grasps air.
She turns her back to him once more. “I’m leaving.”
“No!” He quickly grabs her from behind even as sweat breaks out on his back. He buries his face in the crook between her ear and neck and tightens his grip on her waist. “I am not letting go.”
It is both a command and plea but she is unconvinced. “I am no longer fun to play with; you should be looking for another toy.”
“No! I only want you. Only you. I love…. love….” What or who does he love? His words trail off and he listens intently to the voice in his heart.
And listen.
He loves her. The truth is so bare and obvious that it is as naked as a newborn babe.
He can see it now – what he loves, what he wants, what he cannot afford to lose – but he is going to lose her anyway.
He is going to lose her.