by Rena Olsen
ALSO BY RENA OLSEN
The Girl Before
G. P. PUTNAM’S SONS
Publishers Since 1838
An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC
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New York, New York 10014
Copyright © 2018 by Renata Olsen
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Olsen, Rena, author.
Title: With you always / Rena Olsen.
Description: New York : G. P. Putnam’s Sons, [2018]
Identifiers: LCCN 2017027824 (print) | LCCN 2017032559 (ebook) | ISBN 9781101982402 (ePub) | ISBN 9781101982396 (softcover)
Classification: LCC PS3615.L7315 (ebook) | LCC PS3615.L7315 H57 2018 (print) | DDC 813/.6—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017027824
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Version_1
For my grandparents, Lyle and Roberta Riebe, who have lived lives worth aspiring to.
Contents
Also by Rena Olsen
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Part I | Once Upon a TimeChapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Part II | First Comes LoveChapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Part III | Then Comes MarriageChapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Part IV | Honor and ObeyChapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Part V | Then Comes BabyChapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Part VI | Breaking FreeChapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Epilogue | Ever AfterChapter 34
Acknowledgments
About the Author
The drip drip drip of the faucet echoes throughout the large bathroom, and she lifts a toe to intercept the droplets, her foot barely reaching across the expanse of the whirlpool-style tub. The water ripples as the movement disturbs the glassy surface. Her head rests on the porcelain lip, her neck too tired to hold the weight of it any longer. The water has taken on a pinkish tinge, and she can’t help but feel some relief that it is over. She has found her escape. He can’t change this, can’t control her anymore.
PART I
ONCE UPON A TIME
Chapter 1
It may have been a mistake to bring my work outside with me. It seemed like a good idea at the time. My stuffy desk area barely got sunlight from the window at the end of the hall, and I was feeling claustrophobic. I imagined myself as one of those urbane businesswomen, sitting on the edge of the fountain at the park across the street, sipping coffee from a well-worn travel mug while flipping through very important reports, pausing to smile at the children playing at the park. Passersby would notice me, respect my tenacity to work through the lunch hour. “How sophisticated she must be,” they would say to each other.
The reality, unfortunately, was far from my fantasy. The sun, dim from my desk, was brighter than I expected, and I had to squint against the blinding whiteness of the paper to make out the columns of numbers that made up my boss’s expense report. The coffee I’d picked up was already cold in the paper cup next to me, and the wind was threatening to snatch the reports right out of my hands. Not to mention the brats who were splashing on the other side of the fountain. If I got hit with cold droplets one more time, I was going to lose it. But I refused to give up and go back inside just yet. Blowing my hair out of my face once again, I reached for my cup. Even the bitter bite of the lukewarm coffee would be worth the kick of caffeine to get me through the afternoon.
What happened next seemed to take place in slow motion. A particularly large splash of water connected with my back, drenching my new suit jacket from collar to hem. I arched and sucked in a breath at the sudden chill, knocking my coffee over onto my slightly wrinkled dress pants. At that exact moment, a gust of wind finally succeeded in ripping the pile of papers from my hands, sending them flying across the busy sidewalk.
Swearing under my breath, I scrambled up, ignoring the dampness of my back and pants, and chased the papers as they danced away from me and each other, in every direction, swirling as if playing a game. People stepped around me as I ran, half-crouched, clutching the mischievous papers to my chest. Finally I had gathered them all, and I knelt in the grass, muttering as I tried to smooth out the creases my mad grabbing had created.
I didn’t notice at first when a pair of shiny black loafers stopped in front of me. I jumped as a deep chuckle floated down from above me. I followed the length of his legs, clad in expensive slacks, up his torso, sheathed by a crisp white shirt and decorated with a sharp purple tie, up to his mouth, where full lips were forming words. I was entranced by their movement, and their perfect placement on his symmetrical face, which itself was devoid of any facial hair, not even a shadow.
“Are you okay, miss?” His words finally penetrated the haze surrounding my brain, and my mouth, which had dropped open at some point, snapped shut. I looked up to meet crystal blue eyes.
“I’m sorry, what?” My first words were less than intelligent, but the way his eyes sparkled showed me he didn’t care. He was amused.
“I asked if you were okay.” His eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled, and I had to catch my breath again.
Wind gusts pulled insistently at my papers, and I used it as an excuse to break eye contact and look down at my stack of now ratty reports. “Um, yes. I’m fine. These reports tried to stage a coup, but I got ’em.” I laughed at my own corny joke, and was pleasantly surprised when he laughed with me.
“I’m afraid you may have missed one,” he said, holding out a piece of paper with my boss’s familiar unreadable scratches scrawled across the surface.
My eyes widened. It was a list of all of her client dinners, probably the most important report in the stack. Of course that would be the one that almost got away. I reached for it, grateful for my rescuer.
“Thank you so much, you have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
He waited for me to grab the paper in his hand, but instead of releasing it, he used it to tug me a step closer. A hint of his cologne, rich and expensive, reached my nose. “Saved your li
fe?” he asked, eyes glinting with amusement and something deeper. Curiosity? Attraction? “This must be a pretty important paper.” A lock of dark hair escaped from his impeccable coif, falling onto his forehead.
A shaky laugh fell from my mouth. “Yes, extremely,” I said, tugging on the paper again. His hold remained steady, and my stomach churned with excitement or discomfort. I didn’t know how to act in this situation. Should I pull harder? Let go of the report and run screaming? Step toward him and see if he smelled even better up close?
“It must be worth something then,” he said. “Dinner, perhaps?”
My cheeks warmed. I glanced down at my coffee-stained pants. Was he asking me out? After he witnessed perhaps the most ridiculous moment of my life? More ridiculous than my first day at the marketing firm, when I spent the day with my brand-new designer blouse misbuttoned. I had assumed the smiles directed my way were in welcome, not because people were laughing at me. I couldn’t even market myself. “Um,” I stammered, “I don’t know if that’s . . .”
He flashed straight white teeth as his voice took on a teasing tone. “Too much, too soon?”
I nodded. “I don’t even know your name.”
“That is a dilemma,” he said, his face turning serious. “I guess the question is, do you want to know my name?”
Did I? No question. But this was all suddenly too much. I pursed my lips. The best course of action would be to turn him down flat. I’d had enough experience with men like him to know it wouldn’t lead anywhere good.
Undeterred, he grinned. “Fair enough. Drinks then? Meet me here after work. Around six? We can exchange names then, if you’re interested.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to say no. After all, what did I know about him other than he had a symmetrical face and was good at catching papers? The way he was looking at me, though . . . there was an earnestness to his expression, as if this wasn’t just a game. Like he actually wanted me to say yes. What could it hurt? Lately I’d been having a glass of wine in the evening to wind down after long days. Why not go out for one? And the company would be nice, even if just to look at. I couldn’t deny that I found him alluring. I nodded. “Okay. Yes.”
His eyes sparked with excitement as he finally relinquished the paper. “Fantastic. Until then.” He inclined his head toward me and strode away.
“Until then,” I whispered, clasping my sheaf of papers to my chest, reports forgotten as my heart raced.
The shout of a child running past brought me out of my trance and I shook my head, smiling to myself. My adrenaline pumped from the encounter, and, bolstered by the idea that a random man could recognize that I was worth spending time around, I turned and strode back into the building. I attempted to organize the stack as the elevator rose to my fourteenth-floor office, but they were pretty much a mess. If only Elaine would get on board with an electronic system for all these reports. At least it would save me the trouble of trying to decipher her scrawling handwriting. I’d gotten pretty good at it, but it still took more time than it needed to.
Dumping the pile on my desk, I glanced up to see that Elaine was at her computer, tapping away at her keyboard, her forehead smooth and relaxed instead of wrinkled concentration. Maybe today was my day to be brave. With a deep breath, I smoothed my stained pants and walked into her office, praying I looked as confident as I felt.
I tapped on the door and waited for Elaine to glance at me before stepping inside.
“Do you have those reports?” she asked before I could formulate the words I wanted to say.
“What?” I glanced back at the crinkled pile on my desk. “Oh, yes, almost finished.”
“Good, I’ll need them first thing tomorrow.”
“Of course.”
Elaine’s focus was on her computer monitor, fingers flying over the keys in a dance, no doubt corresponding with important people. I fantasized about being one of those people, instead of being at the beck and call of one. As my mind wandered, Elaine’s fingers slowed, and I looked up to find her watching me. “Was there something else, Julia?”
This was my time to be brave. I took a deep breath. “Actually, Elaine,” I began, “I was going through your reports and almost lost one to the wind, and it got me thinking—”
“You had my reports outside?” Good thing I didn’t tell her just how many I almost lost.
“Yes,” I continued, “but it gave me an idea.”
Her brow creased, but she leaned forward, listening as I outlined my proposal, nodding along to my suggestions. I knew that by the end of my speech, Elaine would start to see me in a whole new light. And it would only be the beginning.
* * *
—
“I can’t believe you’re actually going.” My sister’s voice sounded tinny through the speaker of my cell phone as I held up one dress after another in front of the mirror. I couldn’t go out with my mystery man in a damp jacket and coffee pants, so I’d snuck out a half hour early to run home and change. I hadn’t really taken a lunch anyway. My sister called as I surveyed my woefully inadequate wardrobe, and was now hounding me for details about my mystery man.
“Of course I’m going, Kate. You should have seen this guy. It’s like a Ken doll came to life.” The yellow dress had some promise. Flirty, fun, a bit flashy.
“It’s so unlike you, Jules,” Kate said. “You don’t even know his name.”
It was too bad Kate couldn’t see how hard I rolled my eyes at that. “Maybe it’s time for me to step out of my box.” I dropped the dress on the bed and rummaged through my makeup. A smoky eye was probably too much for drinks. Maybe I should have said yes to dinner. “Besides, it’s probably just his random act of kindness for the day. Trust me, this man does not have problems getting dates.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You said he had good taste. Clearly that extends to women as well.”
I shook my head, though Kate couldn’t see me through the phone. “That’s very sweet, Kate. Maybe you’re right.”
“Okay, don’t believe me, but I’m proud of you, little sis. Just make sure you stick to public places.” There was a teasing note in her voice, and I laughed.
“I’ll be careful. I’ve got pepper spray in my purse.”
Kate’s laugh was interrupted by my nephew Kyle running into the room. “Moooom!” I could hear the whine in his voice.
“Wait a sec, Ky,” Kate said. “I’m talking to Auntie JJ.” The noises continued in the background, but Kate ignored them. “Tell me what happened with Elaine! Your text was very cryptic.”
My eyes shone with excitement as I held the yellow dress in front of myself again. “I pitched her an idea to look into streamlining some of our data form entry and going electronic. There’s this great program I was researching called Sibyl that was created by an amazing woman, which I thought would appeal to Elaine, and even though it’s pretty new, all the reviews coming back are phenomenal . . .” I trailed off, able to detect Kate’s waning interest even over the phone. Laughing, I jumped back into my story. She tended to space out when I went into detail about my job. Kate always wanted to hear every detail about any office drama, but when it came to the actual work I did, the CliffsNotes version was the best way to keep her attention. “I wasn’t prepared at all, I just sorta marched in there and blurted it out, but she said she’d consider it, and asked me to put together some ideas for other systems we could consider as well.”
“That’s great,” Kate said. “Maybe if you’re not spending all that time shuffling paper, you’ll get a chance to actually use your marketing degree.”
“We can only hope,” I said, keeping my voice light, though Kate’s words stung. She didn’t mean anything by it, but I didn’t need a reminder that I wasn’t living up to my “potential.” I hadn’t moved up as quickly as I’d hoped, and Kate was the usual recipient of my complaints about the lack of larger responsibilities.
“Elaine said she knew someone would come in someday and take the firm out of the Stone Age. Honestly, I’m not sure how we’re keeping up as it is.”
“By overworking poor overqualified assistants,” Kate said.
She wasn’t wrong. If we could become more efficient on the paper end, I could take on more duties with clients and actual campaigns. As it was, just keeping Elaine organized took up the majority of my time. Before I could respond, my other nephew, Scott, came bellowing in on the other end of the phone. “MOM!”
“I’ll let you go,” I said. “Let’s get drinks this weekend, though. Make Eddie take the kids for an evening.”
“It’s a deal,” Kate said. “Have fun tonight. Make bad choices.”
“The worst,” I said. “Love you.” I blew a kiss into the phone before ending the call. Surveying my shoe collection, I picked out a pair of almost-new red pumps. Kate bought them for a girls’ weekend and wore them once before passing them along to me. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to take them out again. Satisfied with my choices, I checked the time. I’d talked to Kate longer than I thought.
I hung the dress in the bathroom to steam out the wrinkles and jumped in the shower, my feet dancing their way through my getting-ready routine as I hummed under my breath.
Chapter 2
It was a few minutes after six when I seated myself at the fountain again. I had tried to be a little late, not to seem overeager, but it appeared Prince Charming was playing the fashionably late card himself, and better. The children from earlier were gone, and most of the foot traffic left was office workers, straggling out of tall buildings, heading home to families or pets or possibly out to happy hour with coworkers. A group of the assistants from my office piled out of the building across from the fountain and headed for the nearest bar. They went out about once a week, and usually invited me to join, but I often declined. I was on good terms with most of the other assistants, and we shared the woes of working our way up the ladder, dealing with menial tasks better suited to an intern until we got the opportunity to take on more responsibility. I used to go out with them more, but I had seen too many promoted above me, and while I was happy for them, it was too hard to maintain close relationships in a workplace that encouraged competition, even if it was friendly. Watching the group disappear around the corner, I didn’t notice when he walked up next to me.