by Rena Olsen
My feet ached by the time we were invited to sit down after a full forty-five minutes of singing. I’d never heard any of the songs before, but most were pretty easy to catch on to, especially with the words flashing on the screens. As we settled back in, Bryce reached over and took my hand gently, resting our clasped hands on his knee. I was grateful for the contact. It tethered me back into the moment, to Bryce and the reason I was here, rather than allowing my thoughts to run wild with why I didn’t belong. I could save those musings for later. This was a side of Bryce I’d never seen before, and I wanted to enjoy the moment.
A man walked onto the stage, dressed in a long robe of deep purple. His brown hair was shot through with silver, which glinted in the lights from the stage. When he spoke, I found myself leaning forward, almost unconsciously. His tone was magnetic, his words powerful, even the simplest ones. I knew without asking that this was the Reverend whom Bryce spoke about so enthusiastically.
I didn’t understand much of what the Reverend said, but I was amazed when he said a final prayer and stepped down and I realized that over an hour had passed. Soft music played over the speakers, the lights in the sanctuary brightened, and everyone began shifting, gathering their belongings as the low rumble of conversations rose through the room. A man tapped Bryce on the shoulder, and he released my hand to turn and greet him. I sat, still and contemplative, trying to process what had happened over the past two hours.
“What did you think?” I jumped as Stacy leaned over, touching my arm to get my attention.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly, before I could stop myself. I clapped a hand over my mouth. “I mean . . . uhhh . . .”
Stacy laughed. “It’s okay, Julia, nobody really knows what to think the first time they hear the Reverend. He’s a very gifted speaker.”
I nodded. “He is. I’m not sure I understood everything he said, but I know it was very good.”
“You’ll learn,” she said, leaning back and giving me an appraising look. “I think you’ll fit in just fine here, Julia.”
My heart leapt, both in elation and in fear. How did she know what I had been thinking? Was it so obvious that I didn’t fit, but that I wanted to? If she’d seen it, had Bryce seen it, too? But her words brought comfort. Maybe she saw something in me that I didn’t. I had many questions for her, but before I could voice any of them, Bryce touched my elbow.
“Are you ready?”
“Yes,” I said, smiling at Stacy. “It was nice to meet you.”
“You too, Julia.” Stacy gave a small wave and turned in the opposite direction as Bryce led me out of the row and down the aisle toward the front of the church. A woman who looked to be about my mother’s age stood near the stage, greeting people who came up to her with a handshake or a hug. Her chestnut hair was parted severely down the middle, but fell in soft waves to her shoulders. As with all the other women, her face was perfectly made up, and her smile was practiced but friendly.
As we approached, her face lit up. “Bryce!” she said, walking toward him with open arms. He released me to envelop her in a hug.
“Good morning, Nancy,” Bryce said, releasing her from the hug but holding her shoulders as he stepped back. “How is everything?”
“Better now that you’re here, as always,” Nancy said, laughing. “What did you think of the Reverend’s sermon?”
“Very moving,” Bryce said. He removed his hands from Nancy’s shoulders and reached back for my hand, pulling me forward. “Nancy, this is Julia, the woman I told you about.”
It seemed that Nancy’s eyes tightened just a bit at the corners as she looked at me, reminding me of the feelings of inadequacy that had flooded me during the service. This was the woman Bryce considered a mother figure. Would she think I was good enough for him?
So quickly that I convinced myself I had imagined it, Nancy’s face lost the pinched look and brightened into a megawatt smile. She reached out and pulled me into a hug. I returned it gently, realizing as we embraced that the woman felt very fragile, as if I could break her if I squeezed too hard.
“Julia,” Nancy said, pulling back. “We have heard so much about you. The Reverend and I have been so anxious to meet you. Bryce talks about you constantly.”
“I’ve been anxious to meet you as well,” I said, trying to mimic the smooth confidence of her voice. “Bryce lights up when he talks about you.”
Nancy looked over at Bryce, a genuine smile on her face. “We’re very proud of Bryce, and very happy that he seems to have found someone he . . . cares about.” The pause was subtle, but I caught it, and Bryce’s corresponding squeeze of my hand told me that he caught it as well and was trying to reassure me.
“Nancy and I have a meeting to attend before brunch,” he said, steering the conversation another way in order to alleviate the bits of tension that had just sprung up. “But after that we’ll head over to the dining room.”
I looked up at him, my eyebrows rising. “There’s a dining room here?”
He laughed. “The Reverend’s house is attached to the church. The church actually grew up around their house. They built it from the ground up. It’s an inspiring story.”
“We’ll get to that later,” Nancy said, interrupting. “We’d better get to our meeting so they don’t start without us.”
Bryce frowned. “They can’t start without you.”
“Still,” Nancy said. “It’s rude to keep them waiting.”
Something passed between them, almost too quickly for me to catch, and Bryce turned to me, picking up my other hand as he faced me. “The meeting shouldn’t take long. Will you wait for me in the café?”
“What meeting do you have?” It was maybe a little nosy, but Nancy’s attitude had made me curious.
“Just our leadership. We meet every week after service,” Bryce said, releasing my hands to dig out his wallet. “Grab yourself a coffee while you wait, and I’ll be there soon.”
“Sure,” I said, taking the bill he held out for me. “No problem.”
Bryce didn’t look at me again as he and Nancy headed for a side door off the sanctuary. I stood for a moment before heading back up the aisle toward the back of the large room, which had mostly emptied out, though there were pockets of people laughing or praying together. People smiled as I passed, but did not stop to engage me in conversation. Apparently I was less interesting without Bryce by my side.
There were still a fair number of people outside the sanctuary, and the café was more crowded than I expected it to be. Several groups gathered at the round tables and in comfortable soft chairs, talking quietly. I ordered my coffee and took it to a small chair in the corner. It was situated so that I could watch for Bryce, but also allowed me to observe the other people in the café.
They fascinated me. I’d never been to a church where people stuck around so long after the final hymn was sung. Usually people were ready to be done with their weekly duty and move on with their weekend, watch that football game, get those last Sunday chores done before heading back to work. The members of this church, however, seemed more settled, ready to spend the entire day in this building if they needed to.
That reminded me of the school that Bryce said was attached, as well as the Reverend’s home. I wondered if that was part of it, that homey feeling. People actually lived here, but there wasn’t a feeling of intrusion, at least not in these public areas. Just enough of a welcoming atmosphere without being overwhelming.
“Hey!” A perky voice dragged me from my observations, although if I had been truly observant I should have noticed her approaching. The woman in front of me was small and blonde, and wore a wide smile that lit up her entire face.
“Hello,” I said, smiling back. It was impossible not to. I wondered if I had met her earlier and just forgotten, but I didn’t know how I’d forget someone like her. She positively sparkled.
“I’
m Jenny. We saw you sitting over here alone and thought you might like to join us.” Jenny gestured to a cluster of couches and chairs across the café, where a small group of women watched our interaction with expectant looks on their faces. “Is this your first time here?”
I nodded. “Yes, I came with someone. Uh. My boyfriend. He had a meeting or something so I’m just waiting for him.”
“That’s cool,” Jenny said. “Welcome! I can leave you alone if you want, but feel free to wait with us.”
I had a feeling Jenny was used to people saying yes, and it wasn’t hard to see why. And her friends looked just as happy and hopeful that I would join them. It felt as if I were the best friend they’d never met, but had always known was coming.
“Sure, I’d like that,” I said, standing. “I’m Julia.”
Jenny led me to the group and made introductions. I promptly forgot each of their names except for Jenny and Maryann, a quiet brunette with brown eyes that locked on mine during our introduction. Everyone was friendly, but it was as if Maryann, in her quiet ease, really saw me. I didn’t know how else to explain it.
“We’re all part of a weekly Bible study,” Jenny explained. “But we like to have coffee after church most weeks to discuss the sermon as well. It’s best when it’s fresh!”
As I sat back and listened to the women talk, I was struck again by the ease of it, the sense of familiarity even though this was my first visit. Whereas during worship I’d felt out of place, I could almost believe I fit here. I felt comfortable with this group, happy and content. I was even brave enough to venture a few questions of my own about things I’d heard the Reverend say in his sermon, and the women were all anxious to answer anything I asked.
By the time Bryce arrived, I felt as if I’d made a good start at some friendships, which would be important if I continued coming with Bryce. Knowing how important this church was to him, I figured he would be pleased. The women here were different from my other friends, but not in a bad way. Just . . . different. I waved excitedly at Bryce when I spotted him at the café entrance, and stood as he wound his way through the tables to our spot.
“It was so nice to meet all of you,” I said. I thought I had a grasp on all their names by now.
“Let me grab your number, Julia,” Jenny said, pulling out her phone. “We’d love for you to join us for study sometime.”
“That sounds great,” I said, and rattled off my number for her.
“I’ll call you.”
Bryce reached us by that point and took my elbow. “Ready for lunch, Julia?”
“Yes, I’m starving,” I said. “Bryce, do you know all these ladies? They kept me company while I waited.”
His mouth was tight, not the friendly and open expression I was used to. “Hello,” he said, addressing the group. “I trust you all enjoyed the message today.”
There was a chorus of agreement throughout the circle and I puzzled at the change in atmosphere. Where things had been light and easy before, tension had descended, an unacknowledged wall between Bryce and these women. Before I could think too much on it, Bryce led me away. “ ’Bye!” I called over my shoulder. “Thanks again!”
As soon as we were clear of the café, Bryce’s shoulders relaxed. I hadn’t realized how tense his entire body had been. “Everything okay?” I asked.
“Fine,” he said. “Meeting just went longer than we planned. I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I was fine.”
“I can see that.”
I frowned. “Do you have a problem with the people I was talking to?”
“Of course not,” Bryce said, laughing. “I don’t even know them.”
“You were a little rude.”
“Was I? I certainly didn’t mean to be. I just don’t want to be any later for lunch than we already are.”
I raised an eyebrow at his tone.
“Do you want me to go back in and apologize?” he asked.
Searching his face for mirth and finding only sincerity, I shook my head. “It’s fine. I’ll just remember that you get a little testy when you’re hungry.”
He laughed again, his familiar Bryce laugh. “Are you making a list?”
I scoffed. “A list? I have an entire book by now.”
Grabbing my hand, he lifted it to his lips. “You make me laugh, Julia. Thank you for coming today.”
“I’m having a great time, Bryce. Thank you for showing me a little of your world.”
“Ready for more?”
“Absolutely.”
Chapter 7
Bryce led me through an office area, down a carpeted hallway, to a large door. He opened it without knocking, and as the door closed behind us, all sounds of the church were cut off. We were in a small room, occupied only by a love seat and a chair.
“The outer welcoming room,” Bryce said. He pulled me across the room to another door. “Just sets off the house a little bit from the church.”
Through the next door, I could immediately tell that we were in a home. We stood in another hallway, this one with dark wood floors, covered by an elegant runner down the center. Several closed doors lined the hallway, but the walls were dotted with pictures, family portraits. Bryce walked slowly beside me, giving me time to examine them.
“Who are all these people?”
“Family,” Bryce said. “Not all by blood, but all considered family. Most of them attend church here.”
I smiled at him. “I love how close everyone is. I’ve never experienced anything like it.”
“You’ve only scratched the surface,” he said. “I knew you would appreciate it. Eventually I hope you start to think of the people here as your family as well.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. Everyone was nice, and it was lovely how close he was to them, but I already had a family. Though Bryce hadn’t said it outright, I got the feeling that he didn’t have anyone other than the Reverend and Nancy, and the people at the church. I had my parents and Kate and her family.
We emerged from the hallway into a well-lit great room. Floor-to-ceiling windows made up one wall, with a view overlooking a small pond that wasn’t visible from the front of the church. It appeared we were at the rear of the property. To the left, tall bookshelves flanked a massive fireplace. To the right, a long dining table set with elegant china and utensils took up a large amount of space. The high ceilings kept the room from feeling cramped, and the cushy furniture made it feel comfortable.
“You found her.” Nancy walked into the room, a genuine smile on her face. I paused before returning it, so different was it from her earlier expression, when I had felt more tolerated than welcomed.
“She was chatting with Jenny’s group,” Bryce said, and a glance passed between Bryce and Nancy so quickly that I might have imagined it. “They invited her to join their study.”
“How lovely.” Nancy sounded sincere. “You make friends fast, Julia.”
Pleasure at her praise fluttered through me, and I was surprised that I was so eager to please her. “To be fair, she approached me,” I said. “After that, they were all very easy to talk to. Everyone is so nice here, Nancy. You have something really special.”
Nancy reached out and touched my hand. “I’m so glad you think so. We do, too.”
She looked as if she was going to say more, but the door at the end of the hallway opened, distracting her.
“Reverend,” she said, her tone bright. “Welcome home.” She rushed to greet him, and I was bemused by her fawning. She took his suit jacket, then bent to pick up his discarded shoes, scurrying through one of the doorways off the hall before returning empty-handed. She took the Reverend’s arm in an almost formal way and led him forward.
“Reverend, this is Julia, the woman Bryce has been telling us about.”
The Reverend’s eyes were eme
rald green and sparkling with humor, despite the fact that there was nothing funny happening at the moment. Laugh lines radiated from the corners of his eyes and connected a road map across his face, a story that told of a happy life. He smiled, revealing teeth that were white, but not blindingly so, and just a little crooked, which endeared him to me immediately. He had a confidence about him, an aura that at once made me feel safe and heard, though I hadn’t spoken. He was what I imagined a religious leader should be. Approachable, graceful, relatable. I found myself drawn to him even before he spoke.
“Julia,” the Reverend said, coming forward and clasping my hands in both of his. His grip was firm and warm, his hands soft. “We are so glad you could join us at last.”
It was natural to smile back, and my face heated at his rapt attention. “I’m glad to be here. It’s, uh . . . been a while since I attended a church service.” I looked down, feeling a sudden wash of shame.
“We’re just happy you’re here now, Julia,” he said, and relief ran through my veins, straight to my heart. I looked up to meet his eyes again and saw only acceptance and compassion. Joy. No sarcasm or judgment.
“It was a nice service,” I said. “I’ve never been to one with a band and lights and screens and all that. It made me feel like I was at a show, but, like, one I was a part of, too, if that makes sense.” I realized I was babbling as the Reverend, Nancy, and Bryce all chuckled around me. I ducked my head. “I just really liked it.”
The Reverend looked like he was going to say something else, but a bell chimed from the other room.