by Rena Olsen
Still, I wasn’t sorry enough to apologize to her that night. I still needed time. A quick glance in the mirror showed that my face was no longer flushed, and my teary eyes were now dry, no evidence that they had almost spilled over. I made my way back out into the living room and found Bryce, Eddie, my parents, and the boys gathered around a board game.
“Come play with us, Auntie Julia,” Kyle called. Bryce patted the spot next to him on the couch, and I plopped down next to him, as close as possible without actually sitting in his lap, which I thought would be inappropriate at this stage.
“We already started,” Bryce said. “But you can be on my team.”
“That’s very nice of you, but I’m terrible at board games,” I said. “Are you sure you want me on your team?”
He looked at me, and his expression was playful, but his eyes were serious. “Always.”
He wakes up with his sister on the floor next to his bed again. She often finds her way there when the fighting gets bad. She’s quite a bit younger, five to his fourteen, and he is the most stable man in her life. Mama isn’t even sure who her daddy is, so it’s whoever’s living in the house this week. Sissy calls all adult males “Daddy,” and he has long since given up trying to correct her. It caused a bit of a stir when she called the principal “Daddy” at the start of her kindergarten year, but he got her back on track and talk died down soon enough.
Though the fighting went late into the night, a glass breaks in the kitchen and the squabbling starts up again. He leans down, gently nudging Sissy awake, and helps her climb out his window. He prefers to run most places, but this time he places her on the handles of his rusty old bike and pedals toward town. The café owner sometimes takes pity on them, and his mouth waters at the thought of a stack of the pancakes she makes.
Ten minutes later, he’s sitting across from Sissy, who is shoveling pancakes into her mouth as if she hasn’t eaten in days while the gentle-eyed café owner looks on. It probably has been days since she had anything of substance, and may be several more before Mama makes it to the store, so he eats his stack more conservatively. The café owner clucks and shakes her head before returning to the other customers.
His skin starts itching again, right at the back of his neck, and he looks up to find the stranger from the library watching him. The man does not look away, and the boy stares defiantly back. There is no judgment in the man’s eyes, but the boy knows what he’s thinking. Freeloaders. Dirty urchins. He knows what the people in town whisper under their breath. He’s only started to become more acceptable by excelling in school and doing his own laundry. He does Sissy’s, too, and insists she bathes at least three times a week. Most of the kids didn’t even realize what family she belonged to for the first few weeks of school.
The man doesn’t move until they’re finished, and the boy bustles Sissy back out into the sunshine, scooping her up as she squeals with delight before depositing her back on the handlebars and biking them both toward school. He doesn’t have to look back to know the man has followed them out of the café, and watches them until they are out of sight.
Chapter 11
I had fallen asleep in the middle of the game the night before, so I was confused when I woke up in Kate’s guest room. It was still early, and the house was quiet. There was a handwritten note on the side table, and Bryce’s sharp, economical handwriting was visible.
Didn’t want to wake you, princess. Give me a call in the morning. Thanks for a wonderful evening. Your family is charming.
I lifted the paper to my nose, as if I could get a whiff of Bryce’s cologne, but of course it was paper from Kate’s notebook, so it had more of a floral scent. I realized I was sniffing paper and decided it was time to get up and go home before anyone else was up so I could shower and call Bryce. He had mentioned something about a fun activity today, but wouldn’t tell me what it was. I certainly wasn’t trying to slip out to avoid an inevitable confrontation with Kate. That would be juvenile and I was definitely above that.
I splashed my face with water, straightened my dress, which had been surprisingly comfortable to sleep in, and opened the guest room door. Sunlight spilled into the hallway from the large living room windows. I was halfway down the hallway before I realized the smell of fresh-brewed coffee hung in the air, and it was too late when I realized that meant someone was awake.
There was no way to sneak past without being obvious at this point, so I said a little prayer that somehow it would miraculously be Eddie up early, and stuck my head in the kitchen. Kate sat at the kitchen table, fingers wrapped around a mug of coffee, staring at nothing. She hadn’t seen me yet, far off in her other world as she was.
This was a Kate I didn’t see much anymore. She wore a gray robe, belted tightly at her waist. Her hair was pulled on top of her head in a messy bun, her face clean of makeup. This was the Kate the rest of the world never saw, all pretenses gone, all masks waiting to be donned for the day. This was my Kate.
“Good morning,” I said, keeping my voice quiet. She jumped anyway. “You always did like to stare at the wall in the morning.”
She gave me a small smile. “Just booting up,” she said, a joke our dad had started back when computers took endless minutes to warm up when they were turned on.
I stepped into the kitchen and headed for the coffeepot, pulling my favorite travel mug from the cupboard.
“You’re not sticking around?” Kate asked, eyeing the mug.
“I need to get home and shower,” I said. “I’m meeting Bryce for lunch and I have a couple things to do at home first.”
Kate didn’t say anything for a moment. “About last night,” she started after the pause. “Julia, I—”
“It’s fine, Katie,” I said, filling up the mug. “Water under the bridge. I really appreciate you hosting. That’s a lot of stress, so you can’t be held responsible for everything you said.”
Kate didn’t take the bait to let it go. “No, Julia, I stand by what I said, but I probably could have said it a little nicer.”
I took a deep breath before turning back to her. “I don’t want to do this again.”
“Me neither, but, Julia, I’m worried about you. You’ve fallen for this guy so hard in just a few weeks and I don’t really trust him.”
Closing my eyes and counting to ten, I gripped my mug. “You have absolutely no reason not to trust him.”
“He’s too polished.”
“That’s not a reason. Give me a solid reason, something he has said that’s untrue, something he’s done that was rude or inappropriate.”
Kate pursed her lips. “I can’t.”
“See?”
She slammed her mug on the table. “I can’t because he doesn’t say anything! He talks a lot but there’s no substance. It’s all surface.”
“Your husband was having a pretty in-depth conversation last night. Did you ask him what they talked about?”
More silence.
“I can’t do this, Kate. I’m sorry you didn’t like Bryce. It actually makes me really sad. But I do like him, and so does the rest of the family. I don’t know why you can’t just let me be happy, but it’s not my problem right now.” I stomped toward the door.
“Don’t you trust my judgment?” she called after me.
I opened the door and turned around. She looked so small sitting at the table alone, and her eyes were sad, though I guessed it was because I wasn’t letting her get her way this time. “No. I don’t,” I said. “Not anymore.” And I stepped out into the cool morning air.
* * *
—
It took thirty minutes in the shower for me to feel normal after my second round with Kate. Anyone else I could have argued with and moved on as if nothing had happened. Even Savannah, who was closest to me aside from Kate, couldn’t get under my skin the way Kate did.
Maybe it was because I had always looked u
p to Kate. She always seemed to have it together. She had all the boyfriends and the friends and the good grades and the sports trophies. All-star everything. But she’d never looked down on me. Never questioned my judgment about anything. Until now.
It may have stemmed from what happened the last time I got drawn in by a charming guy, except Jake’s charm really was all fake. None of us had realized it at the time. Even Kate had fallen under his spell. And when he cheated on me the first time, she’d been angry right along with me, but had supported my decision to give him another chance. By the third time he’d cheated, she’d been ready to go beat him up for me, but had respected my wishes and had stayed out of it. Maybe this time around she wanted to make sure no one was fooled, that I couldn’t be hurt again.
I tried to focus elsewhere as I did a few chores around the apartment and paid bills. I called Bryce, and he gave me an address to meet him at for lunch. “I have to go into work for a bit this morning,” he said. “But take a taxi to the address. I’ll bring you home. I’d come and get you, but . . .”
“It’s fine,” I said. “I have been able to get myself around the city pretty successfully up to this point.”
He laughed. “But a gentleman would make sure.”
“You’re always a gentleman,” I said. “Even when you can’t pick me up.”
I ordered an Uber, which took me back into the neighborhood of Bryce’s church, and I was surprised when we pulled up to a tall, modern-looking building right across the vast parking lot. Bryce was waiting outside, and jumped up to open the door for me.
“Thanks,” I said, and then repeated my thanks to the driver. He had been a chatterbox, but he spoke about his kids with such affection that I hadn’t minded at all.
“Did you take care of him?” Bryce asked, and it took me a moment to realize he meant payment.
“Oh, yeah, it’s all through the app,” I said, pulling out my phone. I pulled up the app and left the driver a quick glowing rating before turning back to Bryce.
“I don’t know if I like you taking rides from strangers,” he said. “It makes me nervous.”
“It’s perfectly safe,” I said, waving off his concerns. “It’s just normal people like you and me. This guy has five kids.” I laughed. “He said they’re all under the age of six, and when he gets a job driving it’s like taking a break. He only drives on the weekends, though.”
The lines around Bryce’s mouth were still taut. I knew why he was concerned, but I wanted to reassure him that he didn’t need to be. “I’m safe, and I’m here, Bryce,” I said, looping my arm through his. “Now are you going to tell me where ‘here’ is?”
His face relaxed and he led me up to the front of the building. “This is where I live.”
I knew Bryce lived in the same neighborhood as the church, but I hadn’t been to his place yet. The neighborhood was well tended, Bryce’s building towering over the other homes on the street and yet fitting seamlessly into the family-friendly feel. Children’s laughter echoed down the street as we entered the lobby, which was just as clean and well maintained as the outside. A doorman waved at Bryce as we passed.
We rode the elevator up to the eighth floor. “It’s not the penthouse,” Bryce said. “But it’s pretty comfortable for me.”
The inside of the apartment was all clean lines and fresh colors, blues and grays and modern furniture. Tall windows gave plenty of natural light. The apartment was a studio, with a half wall separating the bed area from the rest of the room. Bryce watched as I wandered through the room, inhaling the scent that was all male, all Bryce. A decent-sized bathroom jutted off from the area by the bed, and I was amazed at how clean it was. Kate and Savannah were both forever complaining about how gross it was to share a bathroom with a man. I wondered if it was always like this, or if he had made a special effort to clean it for me today. Either way, it was a good sign.
“This is nice,” I said. “How long have you lived here?”
“Since they built it five years ago,” he said, moving over to the couch and sitting down. He patted the spot next to him and I joined him. “Before that I still lived with the Reverend and Nancy.”
I did the math. That meant he was still living with his surrogate parents in his mid-twenties. A little weird, but not completely unheard-of, especially these days.
“I didn’t have to live with them. I made enough to live on my own,” Bryce continued. I was careful not to make any sounds, just nodded that I was listening. I didn’t want to break the spell. This was as much as Bryce had talked about his past, other than his church activities. “Their house is so big, and I came to live with them while I was still in high school, so it made sense for me to save up money.”
“That does sound logical,” I said. “And you were able to get such a nice place with your savings.”
He laughed. “Actually, this apartment is one of the benefits when you work for the Church of the Life. Rent and utilities paid, though if I wanted cable, I’d have to get that on my own.”
My eyes widened. “I thought you worked for a law firm downtown,” I said, confused.
“I do, but the Church of the Life is our biggest client. The Reverend helped secure me the job with the understanding that I would be the primary attorney for the church. So they consider me one of their employees. I manage a few other accounts, too, some businesses of other members from the church, like the Burrier, but most of my time is spent on the church.”
I had no idea about lawyering, so I didn’t know if it was possible to spend all your time on one client, no matter how big they were. “Does that really take up all of your time?”
Bryce shifted. “You have to understand, Julia. When I say I represent the Church of the Life, I mean all the members. The church keeps me on retainer and pays all the legal fees for anyone in the church who is in need of help. I don’t specialize in everything that comes up, but that’s where it’s beneficial to work for a firm with a wide variety of attorneys with a wide array of experiences and knowledge.”
That made a lot more sense. Suddenly it seemed like an enormous job for one person. “How do you have enough time to do all of that?”
He laughed. “The others help out as needed, but it’s not like I’m in court all the time. I do a lot of advising. Sometimes I have office hours at the church on the weekends, since that’s the only time people have. That’s what I was doing this morning.”
I nodded and glanced out the window. The church was perfectly framed across the parking lot, and the gardens were out of sight, but I still felt like I could be there. This building was almost like an extension of the church. “So are all the residents employees of the church?”
“No.” Bryce chuckled. “We don’t have a large number of employees, and many of those we do have own their own houses. Mostly the employees who live here are those who are single, and a few married couples. Very few children.”
“But the church owns the building?”
“Yes. Most of the tenants are members of the church, but of course we don’t turn anyone away. It just seems logical that people who go to the church would want to live here. Or that if someone was able to get an apartment here, they would attend the church.”
I nodded. “I got the feeling that everyone was super close. I didn’t realize that meant physically as well,” I said, my tone joking.
“Community is important,” Bryce said, his voice serious. “We are nothing if we are alone. We need to stick together, hold each other up. It’s laid out in the Bible.”
“Of course,” I said, a little taken aback that he had responded so seriously to my joke. “I think it’s nice, actually.”
His expression was gratified. “I’m glad.”
I patted his knee. “So where is this fancy bistro you’re taking me to this afternoon?”
“You’re sitting in it,” he said, spreading his arms wide. “You tre
ated me to a home-cooked meal last night, I wanted to do the same.”
“Well, that was Kate’s doing,” I said. “If I had been in charge, we probably would have had spaghetti and meatballs or taco salad or something equally as ‘classless,’ as Kate would say.” All of the feelings of the morning rushed back in, and I could feel my forehead creasing.
Bryce rubbed a thumb over the wrinkles, smoothing them out. “Want to talk about it? We can have a picnic on the floor and eat the sandwiches I made.”
“That sounds good,” I said. Bryce stood and went to the fridge to remove a platter from the refrigerator, along with a few sides. He laid out a simple but delicious-looking meal on the coffee table, and I slid to the floor to move in closer.
As we ate, I confessed to him about my conversation with Kate, and all the things she’d said about him. He didn’t react in a negative way, just let my story pour out, including my musings on how my relationship with Jake had led to her reaction. He was particularly interested in Jake, and what our relationship had been like.
“Were you in love?”
I thought about it. “I thought we were at the time. Now, I’m sure we were just infatuated. Puppy love.”
“And Kate didn’t have a problem with that?” he asked. He wasn’t angry. There was only curiosity in his voice.
“She was in her own love haze at the time. I don’t think I ever realized how much she lets her personal experience in the moment affect how she sees everything else. She was in love, so it made sense that I was, too. And now she’s unhappy and assumes no one could be happy if she’s not.” I didn’t realize until I said it that all my musings were leading there, but once it came out, everything clicked into place.