by Rena Olsen
When he agrees to join the church, the Reverend is ecstatic. He leads the boy in worship, and gives him a disc that dissolves on his tongue and a sip of bitter wine and the boy is flying. He has never experienced anything like this feeling before. No one has ever shown him what he could be, the heights he could reach. Only the Reverend believes in him, accepts him unconditionally, wants to give him a better life than the one he is destined for. For the first time in his life, the boy can see beyond this town, beyond his own wretched existence. The Reverend has opened his eyes to his unlimited potential, to the unlimited possibilities that await him. He will finish school and join the Reverend and the revolution he offers, and no one will ever get the best of him again.
PART V
THEN COMES BABY
Chapter 24
I stared at the stick in my hand, my heart racing. It had been a whim, a throwaway suspicion that had caught hold of me and wouldn’t get out of my head. I hadn’t really believed it was true. Or possible, at least at this point. And yet it was very clear on the display.
I was pregnant.
After my initial shock, the feeling of joy blanketed me, and I sent a prayer up thanking God for this miracle. Dr. Herbert would have to explain to Bryce how this was possible while I was on birth control, but I knew Bryce would be thrilled, even though it wasn’t part of the plan. He’d always talked about wanting children after we’d been married a couple of years.
I wrapped the pregnancy test in some toilet paper and stowed it with my feminine products, which I wouldn’t be needing anytime soon, it appeared. I considered calling Dr. Herbert and setting up an appointment, but Bryce would find out and I wanted to be the one to tell him. I was in the midst of putting together our first anniversary celebration dinner, and this would be the perfect addition.
Everyone had said the first year of marriage was the hardest, but I hadn’t really believed them until I experienced it. It was comforting to know that it was normal to experience rough patches, and to know that with this first year behind us, we could look forward to easier years ahead. Even the past few months had eased a bit. It just took learning the rhythm of sacrifice for another person.
It had surprised me how much more demanding Bryce had been once we were married, but I talked with Nancy about it frequently. I’d forgone my sessions with Susie. She had been helpful for a time, but Nancy really understood Bryce, and it made me feel better to keep some aspects of our relationship within the family. I could be honest with Nancy in a way I couldn’t be with anyone else. To the rest of the church, even those in the Gathering, our marriage had always been completely harmonious. I believed that it could be the truth eventually. We’d both learned some hard lessons.
I glanced in the mirror before heading out to run my errands. I needed a few more things for our dinner tonight, and then I would need to hurry back to cook and prepare for Bryce’s arrival home. My blonde hair shimmered in the sunlight coming in through the windows. I’d lightened it even further at Nancy’s suggestion, and Bryce had enjoyed it so much that I had kept lightening it until it became a shade he approved of, almost platinum blonde. We’d put in a home gym down in the basement as well, and it was now part of my daily routine to spend an hour down there, and I was in the best shape of my life. I was a model wife for Bryce.
I brushed the light scar that was the only sign of our first fight several months ago. It had healed nicely, and he hadn’t drawn blood again. The Reverend had pointed out to him that it drew undue attention to our situation, and while Dr. Herbert was discreet, his staff might be less understanding. After the initial incident, the only times I went in were for my physical with Dr. Herbert and if I was ill. The staff had warmed to me, though a couple still watched me closely whenever I came. Dr. Leeland was no longer employed at the clinic, from what I could tell.
The weather was cool today, for which I was grateful, because it made it less conspicuous to wear long sleeves. Bryce had gripped my wrists a little too hard during our lovemaking a couple of nights before, and the matching green-tinged bracelets would have drawn stares. Instead of fretting about that, I fluffed my hair and dialed my phone as I headed out.
“Happy anniversary, my love,” Bryce answered, his voice a caress.
“I think you wished me a happy anniversary this morning already,” I teased. “Twice.”
He laughed. “I do recall something along those lines. And I plan to wish you a happy anniversary a few more times before the day is over.”
Shivers ran down my arms, and I smiled as I climbed into my car. “I’ll hold you to that.”
“Are you getting in the car?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said, starting the engine as the phone switched over to the speaker. “I wanted to let you know that I’m going to the store, and then I’ll probably stop at the library quickly before heading home.”
“They need you at the library today?” he asked, and I worried he wouldn’t sanction that stop. I’d started volunteering to help at story time at the library a few months ago, when I’d stopped tutoring at the school. I’d grown upset with how the girls were punished, even though I knew it was in their best interest. I’d asked if there were any other volunteer opportunities outside of the school, and Bryce had talked to the librarian, Vanessa, who was a part of the Gathering. It seemed there were members of the Gathering spread all throughout the city, many in positions of influence. It was nice to know that those who could make an impact were among the Chosen, doing the work of God.
“No, but I wanted to return some books,” I said, glancing at the stack. “All of these biblical commentaries are so fascinating. I swear I’ll never get through them all.”
“Are you sure you have enough time?”
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll drop them off, maybe pick out another one or two, and be in and out in fifteen minutes, tops. You can have Vanessa time me.”
“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” he said, chuckling. “Just let me know when you’re home.”
“I absolutely will. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
We hung up, and I drove to the store, mentally going through my list. There wasn’t much on it, and I was out in ten minutes. At the library, I waved hello to Vanessa and made my way upstairs and to the back corner, where the religion section was housed.
The best part about the religion section, aside from the commentaries, which I really did find very interesting, was that it was far removed from the main section, where Vanessa stayed, and it had a computer in a corner that was perfect for watching out in case she did come to check on me. Vanessa always found a reason to come and check on me at least once or twice during my visits, likely at Bryce’s request. I was careful not to give her anything too juicy to report back to him.
I felt only a little guilty as I selected two new commentaries at random and made my way to the computer. I quickly looked up the title of one to read the background and reviews, and left that window open in the background while I pulled up an incognito window to do my other daily search.
Harriet Schmit, Meadowsville, NY
Of course there was nothing new. The only result that was promising, as always, was an unprotected Facebook page that was deep in memes, online games, and quizzes. Since I’d checked a few days ago, Harriet had learned that her ideal fruit was a kumquat, she should live in Georgia, and she was destined to meet a wealthy stranger in the next three months. I smirked at the last one. Maybe there was something to these quizzes.
I had the trip planned out. Meadowsville was only a two-hour drive. I could go, stake out the address that was on all the letters I still hid in my parlor, figure out if Harriet was in some way related to Bryce, and make it back in time to cook dinner before Bryce arrived home. I hadn’t yet figured out a way to broach the topic with Bryce, but I wanted to check things out first. I had one more thing to do before I could put the finishing touches o
n my plan. Luckily, cell service was so poor in the library, there was still a bank of pay phones set up near the entry. I closed out of the computer and went downstairs to check my books out.
“Find what you were looking for?” Vanessa asked, scanning the books. “First Peter, huh? Anything interesting?”
“Just starting,” I said, hoping my nervousness could pass as excitement over a new book to dive into. “The author who wrote that one also wrote my favorite commentary on John, so I’m sure I’ll love it.”
“Your enthusiasm has gotten me interested in reading some of these. Can you write down your favorites for me sometime?”
I nodded. “Of course. I’ll bring a list when I come back next week. I need to get home and get the anniversary dinner cooking.”
“That’s right! Happy anniversary, Julia. I remember your wedding. It was so beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I had an album made at a shop here in town. I hope Bryce likes it.”
“I’m sure he’ll love it,” Vanessa said, her tone sincere.
“That reminds me,” I said, furrowing my brow as if I’d just remembered something. “The shop forgot to give me back my flash drive. I should call and see if I can stop by to grab it on my way home.” I pulled a card from my purse. “Mind if I use one of the pay phones?” I asked.
“Sure,” she said. “Local calls are free.”
“Great!”
Once I’d rounded the corner, I pulled some coins out of my pocket. On the back of the card I’d scribbled the number I’d found in a Meadowsville online directory. It was old, as if it had been created in the days when dial-up Internet was the norm, but I hadn’t been able to find anything more recent with a number attached to Harriet’s name and address. I popped the coins in and dialed the number.
“Yeah?”
The woman who picked up sounded like she’d been smoking her entire life. A television blared in the background, and a dog barked over the sound.
“Hello, yes, is this the photo studio?” I kept my cover in case Vanessa was listening. Though she seemed sincere, I knew Bryce asked people to keep an eye on me. He always seemed to know what I was doing before I did it. His network was vast, which was what made this so risky. And yet, I couldn’t let it go.
“Huh?” The woman was clearly confused. “Turn the fuckin’ TV down, I’m on the phone!” she yelled. A deeper voice grumbled something in response, but I was unable to make out the words. “Oh, get a job,” the woman muttered. Into the phone, she said, “What’d you say?”
“Who am I talking to, please?”
“This is Harriet. Harriet Schmit. Who’s this?”
“Oh, I’m terribly sorry,” I said. “I must have dialed the wrong number. So sorry to bother you.” I hung up before she could respond.
Quickly, I dialed the number to the photo studio I’d used to make Bryce an album of our first year together. “Yes, hello, this is Julia Covington. I had a photo book made recently, and I was wondering if I’d left the flash drive with the pictures on it at your studio.”
“Nope, we don’t have anything in the lost and found, Mrs. Covington,” the man said. “Did you check the box the album came in? Sometimes we’ll throw it in there to make sure it gets back to the customer.”
“I’ll look there, thank you,” I said. I’d known they wouldn’t have it, because the flash drive was currently at the bottom of my purse, where it had been since they handed it to me when I picked up the book. “Can I leave my number in case it turns up there?”
After leaving my number, I hung up, turning around in time to see the door to the library lobby close. Either I’d missed someone opening the outside doors as well, or someone had been listening.
Chapter 25
I looked around the dining room, pleased with the result. I’d placed Bryce’s present next to his chair. Twinkle lights were strung from the center chandelier to the walls all across the room, forming a canopy like the night sky, reminiscent of the night Bryce had proposed. Tall tapers flickered on the table, and soft music played from the speakers. I’d double-checked everything, down to which hook I hung the keys on, to make sure it was perfect before Bryce arrived. I wanted the night to be memorable in more ways than one.
This night was the end of a tumultuous first year of marriage, but also the beginning of the rest of our lives together. It would mark the start of a new chapter not only in the marriage, but also in our family. I’d wanted to call my mom today to let her know about the baby, but I wanted to tell Bryce first.
I really wanted to tell my parents in person, but I didn’t know if I could wait for Bryce to clear his schedule to make that happen. I would be ready to burst by that time. Bryce had been strangely hesitant to ever see my parents. We’d only seen them twice outside of holidays in the past year, and when we saw them on holidays it was because they came and attended church with us, though Bryce wouldn’t budge on letting me sit with them. He was adamant about staying in our spot, and wouldn’t hear of displacing anyone else around us for my parents. They were always invited to the Reverend’s for a meal after service, but after attending one, my parents always declined.
Bryce didn’t want me going to see them without him, either. I’d suggested it a couple of times, but he thought it sent the wrong message about our marriage if I attended a family dinner without him. I suggested just meeting my mom for coffee, but he had vetoed that idea as well. So now my mom and I sent letters back and forth to share news. Bryce always got the mail and opened her letters first, and read whatever letters I sent back. He said it was in the interest of open communication, and he’d been very angry when my mother had referenced information I’d mentioned in a letter I’d sent without allowing Bryce to see it first. He’d been busy and I’d wanted to get it sent. I hadn’t realized how important it was to him. But since then, it had been fine. Mom sent pictures of my nephews, and I couldn’t believe how big they were getting. She never mentioned Kate anymore, and I didn’t ask. It felt like I never had a sister, except for the ache around my heart when I thought of her.
I shook my head, dislodging all morose thoughts and focusing on tonight. We’d call my parents together later with the news, or tomorrow. I was sure Bryce would be as excited as I was to let everyone know, though it was early. Still, I longed to talk with my mom about it. Maybe we’d tell just close family until I was a little further along. I rubbed my belly, imagining that I could almost feel a small bump, though I knew it was impossible, and my stomach was as flat as it had ever been.
My daydreaming was interrupted by the sound of Bryce’s car pulling into the garage. I tugged at my apron, hanging it in the kitchen closet as I walked past, and was ready to greet my husband as he walked in the door.
Bryce stopped as soon as he saw me, his eyes roving my body hungrily. The dark blue dress I wore clung to my tight curves. It was much shorter than anything I would wear out of the house. I only wore it for him, and he knew it. Dropping his briefcase and keys on the counter by the door, he lunged for me, crushing my mouth under his, hands sliding up and down and roaming the silky fabric.
“Happy anniversary, honey,” he said as his lips moved down my throat. I leaned my head back to grant him better access. I thrilled that this passionate man had been my husband for a year and I was still able to elicit this response from him. If anything, he seemed to want me more now even than when we were first married.
“Welcome home,” I said, sliding my hands under his jacket. “Let me help you with that.”
A little while later, Bryce followed me into the kitchen as I smoothed my dress back into place and ran fingers through my hair, glad I hadn’t twisted it into a fancy updo. Bryce swatted my rear as he walked past, looking pleased with himself in his unbuttoned shirt and pants.
“What else is on the menu?” he asked, winking at me with a lecherous gleam in his eye. “I already know what I want for dessert.”<
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“Bryce!” I said, laughing. “You’re incorrigible.”
He wrapped his arms around me from behind as I tested the dishes I had set to simmer on the stove. “One of my best qualities.” He pressed into me further. “But not my best feature.”
“Careful or I’ll burn the potatoes,” I said, turning my head to give his cheek a quick peck.
“Fine,” he said, releasing me. “Food now, more anniversary later.”
“Deal,” I said. “Go ahead and sit down, I’ll bring the food out.”
He leaned over and kissed me breathless before leaving the room. I could hear him exclaiming over the decorations as he entered the dining room, and it gratified me. He was in such a good mood. This was the Bryce I’d fallen in love with, the one I’d wanted to spend my life with. Unfortunately, this one didn’t show up very often anymore. More days than not, Bryce was irritable and didn’t want much to do with me unless he wanted sex. I wasn’t even sure we’d had a real conversation in weeks beyond the day-to-day business of being married, checking in, making household decisions. Otherwise he was on the phone or off with the Reverend, running this errand or that. I didn’t think he had any other clients except for the church anymore, though he never spoke to me about it. From Stacy’s remarks when I saw her, he still confided in her, which caused me to burn with jealousy. I didn’t understand why my husband had become a stranger, but I worked every day to do things to please him and bring him back.