by Letty Scott
“Mr. Mitchell, please just go to class. There's nothing I can do to help you,” the woman behind the desk replied in a calm voice. She looked over at me and I could tell she was trying to figure out why I had my hoodie on in the school building when it was against school policy. “Miss Van, is there a problem?” she inquired, ever the epitome of politeness.
I shook my head while walking over to them. I needed to get Brandon out of here before anyone else found out about my secret. “No, I just came to get Brandon so we can go to class.”
“I’m not going to class until this lady here changes my schedule to match yours,” he stated, keeping his eyes on the receptionist. It looked like he was having some kind of showdown with her. “Do you know how much my parents spend funding this school? I could have your job by lunchtime, lady. So, unless you want to be jobless in the next couple of hours, I suggest you go and change my schedule.”
I watched as the receptionist shrugged her shoulders, giving in to him. My jaw dropped in shock that he had just managed to intimidate the woman into giving him what he wanted. She punched a few keys on her computer before turning to me.
“Miss Van, do you have your class schedule with you?” the lady asked me. I nodded my head and got it out of my bag, trying not to think about the pain that my body was in every time I moved. I handed it to her, still trying to hide my face. However, the light hit my face just perfectly and she was able to see the bruise.
“I see what you mean now, Mr. Mitchell,” she said, turning around to type on the computer. “I’m glad to know she has you willing to take care of her.” She then printed out Brandon’s new schedule and handed it to him before giving mine back to me, along with hall passes for us to get to class.
“Now, Miss Van, please don’t go hurting yourself anymore. This boy here seems like he really cares about you.” She then gave us a wink before shooing us away with her hand.
We walked out of the office and I grabbed a hold of Brandon’s elbow, frantic. “What did you tell her before I got in there?”
He looked back down at me and shrugged his shoulder. “I told her that my new girlfriend seemed to be hurting herself lately. That today when she got to school, she had a bruise across her face. I told her that I was to the point that I felt the need to keep an eye on her now. That led me to ask her to change my schedule to match yours.”
I stood there speechless for a moment, letting it all sink in, “Why would you tell her a lie like that? There’s no need to be in any of my classes to keep an eye on me.” I was scared at what the implications of this could be. “The bruise on my face didn’t happen at school. I told you this morning that I had an accident. Moreover, I’m not your girlfriend nor am I one of your fan girls! I like to be left alone, so please just stop all this nonsense.” I pleaded with him once again.
“Then tell me who hurt you, Kami. It’s that simple. I know you didn’t trip or fall, so do us both a favor and stop lying,” he replied evenly. It was becoming harder and harder not to break down and just tell him. “Kami, you need help. Just trust me and let me help you. Please.”
Something inside me snapped at that point. “You don’t know shit about me! You’re just wasting your time talking to me. I’m nothing but a worthless cause,” I told him, anger and frustration warring within me. “I don’t need your protection or you running around, acting like a caring boyfriend, when you’re not!” I swallowed hard. I was on the brink of tears again. I could feel myself breaking down by the second. I needed to get away from him before I finally snapped and told him the truth.
I turned to walk away, only to have him grab my waist and swing me back around, facing him. He proceeded to pull me to his chest, which made me whimper a little from the pain of him pulling me close to him. I wanted to fight, I really did, but the warmth of his arms around me was just too enticing.
“Kami, you’re not a waste of my time, nor are you worthless. I don’t know who fed you that crap, but you need to take a good look inside yourself. You need to stop and see the girl on the inside. The one who used to laugh and play with the kids around her. I don’t know what caused you to become such a hard shell, but I think you need to try to let people in and let them help you.” He finished with a sad smile.
I tried to pull away from him, but he just tightened his grip around to keep me in place. “It doesn’t matter who I used to be, Brandon.” I cried. “That little girl is long gone. There’s no bringing her back. I’m broken to the point that there is no repairing me. All you can do is let go. I’m sure there is another girl out there worth saving, but I’m not her. Now can you please let me go? I need to get to class,” I begged, my breathing heavy from all of the emotions and thoughts swirling around me.
“No, Kami, I’m not letting this go. I’ll get to the bottom of this and they’ll pay.”
I could hear the promise of retribution in his voice as he spoke. He removed his arms from my waist and caught a hold of my hand, pulling me back into the office. We walked over to the reception desk and she eyed us coming closer to her, raising an eyebrow at us. Before she could ask why we were back, he cut her off. “I need to use that,” all the while pointing to the microphone of the intercom.
She let out a loud huff of air and you could tell she was tired already of dealing with Brandon today. Most likely he’d be back in today for something or another, which made me let out a light chuckle. “Why would that be, Mr. Mitchell? I think it would be best if you two just went to class. We don’t need to start the morning off on a sour note.”
“Class can wait, this can’t,” he replied, letting go of my hand and leaning over the desk and picking the mic up. He turned it on before she could take it away from him.
“Attention, all students! This is Brandon Mitchell and I’m only going to say this once, so listen closely,” he started as the receptionist tried to pull the microphone out of his hand. He simply pulled it further away from her and with his other hand, he swung my book at her. “If I found out that any of you so much as look at my girlfriend, Kami Van, the wrong way or cause her any harm, you will personally be answering to me. That is all, sorry for the interruption.” Then he turned it off and gave it back to the lady. About the same time, the principal came out of the office. Brandon just nodded his head at him and grabbed hold of my hand, walking us back out of the office and down the hall to our class.
Walking into the classroom, I saw a few students giving us an odd look. I could hear the whispers as we entered and sat down in the seats right next to one another. Brandon laid the book he had taken from me on top of my desk with a note telling me that he would figure out what was going on. I swallowed back the tears that were threatening and stared blindly at the textbook on the desk. This was all too much to take in this early in the morning.
I laid my head down on the desk as the teacher tried to get the class back in order. All I could keep thinking about was how I hoped my stepfather didn’t find out about all this. If he did, I was sure that it would be something I was going to regret.
2
When Brandon and I had gotten to the cafeteria for lunch, he had dragged me to a table in the back. He told me to stay put while he went and got us something to eat, leading to him placing a tray full of foreign objects in front of me. I looked down at the food thinking that it was going to come alive and eat me as I poked some mushy green substance. Brandon took note that I wasn’t eating and let out a deep sigh.
“Kami, you need to eat. It’s not healthy to starve yourself,” I heard him say, pulling out the chair next to me and sitting down. I looked over at him as he started to dig in the food on his tray.
“I don’t starve myself. I just never had money to buy lunch,” I told him, looking back down at the tray of food. I was a little scared of eating it, when I was unsure what it really was. I started poking at some of the green soupy stuff that had green stems floating in it. “What is this stuff?”
I watched from the corner of my eye as he turned his head to see what I
was talking about. I was still swirling my utensil in the green soupy substance. “I think they’re green beans. I’m really not sure what any of these are.”
I looked at him just in time when he turned to look at me. If he didn’t know what this stuff was, what made him think I was going to eat it? “Ok, so maybe it’s not all that healthy, but it beats starving.”
All I could do was smile at his accusations about the cafeteria food.
Seeing me smile made him smile back at me, showing his perfect straight teeth. “You should smile more. You have a beautiful smile. I rather see you smiling, than having that scared look you always have on your face,” he commented. The reminder of what I had coming once I got home, made me go back into my shell, thinking once again how being around Brandon right now was wrong. “Hey, what’s wrong? If I said something out of conduct, I’m sorry.” He tried to grab my hand that was in my lap but I pulled away from him. “Kami, don’t do this. I’m trying to help you, so stop pushing me away.”
“Brandon, this is wrong. I don’t need your help nor do I want it,” I replied, pushing the tray away from me. All I could think about was the kind of trouble I would be in once my stepfather found out about Brandon. Plus, I couldn’t stop thinking that Brandon was just playing with my head. That this was all just some sort of game to see if he could hook me like he did with the other girls. I was abused physically on a daily basis and I wasn’t about to let some boy abuse me emotionally by playing with my feelings.
I sighed, pushed back my chair and stood up. As I went down to get my school bag, he held my elbow, but didn’t squeeze too tightly. “Kami, where are you going?” he asked. It seemed that there was a hint of hurt in his voice when he spoke to me.
“Away. I don’t know what it’s going to take for you to understand that you can’t help me. Go find some other girl to drool over you, because I’m not going to be that girl,” I said and jerked my arm out of his hold, causing the pain from my side to light a little on fire. I ignored it as I walked out of the cafeteria to try to get some space from him.
I don’t understand this guy and why he became protective over me since this morning. He was known for causing trouble, not helping people out. He walked through the school like he owned it and no one really wanted to cross him, afraid to get on his bad side.
If someone did have the nerve to say something to him that came across disturbing, he didn’t think twice before attacking them. I’ve seen too many fights in the halls with the student body circling around it chanting ‘fight, fight, fight’ only to see Brandon in the middle of the circle on top of another guy beating him black and blue just like my stepfather does to me.
He wasn’t just known for starting fights either. He also liked to do some extreme tasks that only seemed to end in more trouble for him, like the time he started a fight and was sent to the principal’s office. No one understood why Brandon was left in the room by himself, but he ended up taking the principal’s car keys. He then took the car for a little drive through the school grass. When Mr. Kerr, our principal, found out, he would have been the perfect cartoon character with steam coming out of his ears. The part that seemed unfair though, was that Brandon never got into any major trouble for any of his actions, since his family funded most of the school’s curricular activities. It was like he just got a slap on the hand and was told to start acting better, which never happened.
Now I was back to thinking why he was shadowing my every move today. It’s like when I turned around, there he was right behind me. When we would get to class, he’d show the teacher his new schedule, then he’d take a seat next to me. If there was someone already sitting next to me, he would walk right over to that person and look down till that person vacate the seat on their own free will.
It was becoming harder and harder to shake this guy, but I needed to find a way fast. I wasn’t used to this kind of attention from a guy, but I knew that in the end it was only going to bring more questions at home. I didn’t need any more problems there, so I needed to think of a way to get this guy to leave me alone before he somehow found out what was going on.
I walked till I got to the stairs and sat down under them. I placed my school bag next to me and leaned my head against the cold brick wall that I was sitting against. Closing my eyes, trying to block out all this drama that was my life and just having a moment of peace. I took in a deep breath as I lost sight of the stairway and went deaf from the noises, finally feeling free. I wasn’t the girl who was being abused at home or the lonely girl in school. I was just me. Someone I was losing sight of every day. I was becoming an empty shell that was cracked with no repairs in sight.
When I became aware of my surroundings again and I opened my eyes, Brandon was sitting across from me, almost giving me a heart attack. I placed my hand across my chest to help calm my beating heart as I watched his eyebrow rise in curiosity. Before I could ask him how long he had been there, he leaned over to grab hold of my other hand, only for me to flinch away from him.
“Kami, I’m not going to hurt you, so please stop running from me. I’m just trying to help you.”
“Why?” I asked “Why do you feel the need to help me out so much when I don’t want it?” I was getting frustrated with this guy by the moment. Why couldn’t he just understand I didn’t want his help? This was a battle I needed to fight alone and there was no need to bring him in it. I didn’t care if he got into a million fights a day and never lost. I wasn’t about to let him come in and start fighting for me. There had to be an alternative motive for him for wanting to protect me.
“Kami, I’m trying to help you because I don’t like seeing innocent people get hurt. I know someone is abusing you by the pain that always appears on your face when you move the wrong way,” he stated, leaning his head against the stairway. “Like I’ve said before, I’ve noticed things and one of them is how you always seem to be in pain on a daily basis.”
I let out a hard breath of air, knowing this conversation was just going to be a repeat from this morning. I pinched the bridge of my nose, looking back down. “Brandon, you need to let this go. I’m not worth any of your time and there is nothing you can do to help me.”
“That is where you’re wrong. I can help you if you just trust me and tell me who is hurting you,” he commented and you could tell he was just as frustrated as I was with him.
I looked back up into his blazing eyes, starting to feel those walls I had built up, slowly begin coming down. A part of me was telling me I could trust him, but the other was unsure about why he was acting this way all of the sudden.
I shook my head, knowing that I couldn’t bring him in this. I needed to stay strong and get through this on my own. “I’ve told you I fell this morning and hurt myself.”
“Kami, stop lying to me. I know the difference between someone hurting themselves and someone who have been hurt by someone else.” He headed over to me and brought his hand up to my face. I closed my eyes as I felt him touch my bruised cheek and stroke his thumb against it lightly. “I know someone laid their hands on you, Kami. I can tell it was a guy by the size of the bruise. I’m also willing to bet that there are more bruises under all these clothes you’re wearing with the way you’re moving about today. Please, Kami, just have a little trust in me and let me help you,” he said in a soft whisper. The way he spoke was making me believe him more and more, but there was still that part of him that was telling me otherwise.
I moved my face away from his hold as I felt the tears start to build up under my eyelids. I kept my eyes closed so I wouldn’t see the pleading in his eyes.
“There’s no need to help me, Brandon. I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you anything for it will just cause more problems for me in the end. This is something I need to do on my own. Just forget everything you have learned today about me and let me go. I’ve dealt with it this long and it wouldn’t be right to bring you into it. So just go back to your troublesome ways and let me handle my problems on my own,” I finally tol
d him, without telling him the full story.
I was breaking down , but telling him the entire truth would just lead to more problems for me if my stepfather found out.
That was when I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and pull me up to his lap. I could tell he was holding back some of his strength when he didn’t hold on too tightly to my sides. “Kami, you don’t have to do this alone. I want to help you. All you need to do is let me in and tell me what is going on. I would do just about anything right now to get you to trust me.”
I looked into his eyes and saw sincerity. How I wished I could just do what he was asking but I couldn’t. It would be wrong to bring him into my world.
“I can’t. I’m sorry,” I said, feeling the tears run down my face now. I didn’t like Brandon or anyone for that matter to see me cry, because it was a sign of weakness. I’ve never shed a tear of self-pity when I was being abused that I couldn’t even remember the last time I cried. Now, though, it was like I was unable to turn off the water works as they kept falling.
Brandon took in my tearful face and brought his hand down into my hair and lightly pushed my head down till it was resting on his shoulder. He started rocking me back and forth, rubbing my back up and down.
“I’m not letting this go. I will find out who is hurting you and stop this madness,” he said, pulling me tighter against him, but not to the point of hurting me.
I didn’t say anything after that for I knew that if I did, I was just going to keep repeating myself and I was so close to the breaking point that it would be best to stay silent. I just sat there in Brandon’s embrace, letting my tears fall freely.
And for once in my life, I felt protected.
The rest of the school day went just like the morning had with Brandon shadowing my every move. At the end of school, when Brandon and I went into the noisy hall, he ended up being surrounded by a mob of girls wanting his attention. Some were asking why he wanted me for a girlfriend when they were so much better looking or had more experience behind closed doors.