by Rye Brewer
I wrapped her up and left her on the couch. Then, I picked up her dress and held it in my hands. The scents coming from it.
The blood. Sweat—not hers, either. His. When he raped her. I smelled him all over the torn, ruined fabric. He did it because of me. They all did what they did because she knew me and they assumed she knew me better than she did.
It was all my fault, from beginning to end.
And she would always be cursed because of me.
The League would never accept her—they had to sanction the turning of humans in advance, which of course they hadn’t. The penalty was death. They wouldn’t allow her to live. And I wouldn’t want to live without her.
I slid my arms under her sleep-heavy body and lifted her, then sat with her on my lap as the sun rose over the tops of the buildings and shone through the custom-treated windows.
What was I going to do?
13
Cari
A beating sound woke me up.
Thump, thump.
Thump, thump.
Even, like a drum. Steady. It reverberated under my ear.
A heartbeat?
My eyes fluttered open. Where was I? I froze—it seemed like the best thing to do. My eyes darted back and forth.
A living room.
I felt like I should recognize it. Faint memories pulled at the corner of my mind.
“You’re awake.” I flinched and looked up.
It was Gage. He was holding me.
I had been asleep in his arms. That would explain all the weird images racing through my head.
“Oh, jeez.” I laughed softly, shaking my head. “It was all a dream. Okay.”
“I’m sorry, but it wasn’t. I was with you all the time. It was all real.”
My heart sank. “Oh. So I guess I really am starving for blood. That’s not just my imagination.”
“I’ll help you with that.” He nudged me off his lap and went to the kitchen. I watched as he poured a goblet of… blood?
“What? I was just kidding!”
“No. You weren’t.” He was smiling as he returned to the couch.
“Why would I want blood?” I gagged a little at the thought.
Until he held the goblet up to my nose and I wanted it.
I wanted it more than anything. My mouth watered until I practically drooled.
“Here. Just drink it. You need it.”
I took the goblet from him and looked down into the deep red liquid. I shouldn’t want it. Nothing about wanting it made sense. I hated myself for wanting it the way I did. Even so, I lifted it to my lips and took a tentative sip.
Then another. And another.
Until I was gulping it down. It was so good. It was sweeter than I expected and I only wanted more with every swallow.
I hated myself.
I shouldn’t want to drink it but I did. I needed it. I would die without it. Tears streamed down my face as I drank.
I stopped myself short of licking the inside of the goblet before handing it back.
Gage watched me with a strange, knowing smile. “I remember that feeling,” he said with a nod. “Like you’ll die if you don’t get more, but you can’t believe you’re doing it.”
“Yes! I don’t understand it. I hate myself for this but I still want more. You know?”
“Of course. It’s okay. Don’t blame yourself.”
I sighed. “So, everything was real, then. I mean, I just drank blood. That actually happened. Everything else must have, too.”
“Yes. It happened. I know it’s hard to believe.”
I flinched when the image of Dietrich flashed across my mind. He was on top of me, looking down. Snarling. Sweating and grunting. “I want to kill him,” I whispered.
“I know. Me, too.”
“I need to find him.”
“No, you don’t.”
“What? You just said you wanted him dead.”
“I do. But you can’t go into the city anymore.”
Not what I expected. I waited to hear more, but he left it there like I was supposed to understand.
“Why not?”
“It’s not a simple explanation. And it’ll sound outrageous.”
“More outrageous than the fact that I just drank blood?”
He paused for a second, then nodded. “Yeah. Worse than that.”
“Just tell me, please.”
He took a deep breath. “We have a League. Our ruling body. And they have rules based on a treaty that was signed a long time ago. One of those rules was that we can’t change humans into vampires—and I didn’t mean to,” he added. “I knew it might happen, but I was trying to heal you, not turn you into one of us.”
“So I’m… not allowed? By law?”
“Right. So, you know… they… will kill you.”
“Kill me?” I squeaked.
“Yes.” He wasn’t kidding.
I jumped up. “How would they even know who I am? This is ridiculous!”
“Relax.”
“How can you tell me to relax? You just told me I’ll be killed for stepping foot out the door, for Christ’s sake!”
“I’m sorry, but yes. You’re a fledgling vampire and you have an aura around you.” He rose and reached for me.
I moved out of arm’s length—he wasn’t going to hug it out with me. Not just then, anyway.
“Let me get this straight. I can’t leave this apartment. Right? Not ever?”
“Right.”
“That’s ridiculous!” I shrieked. “I have a life! I have a job and a family and friends and a cat! My cat needs me!” I wrapped my arms around myself when I couldn’t stop shaking.
“I’m so sorry,” he said with a frown. “You’re not the person you used to be. Your old life is gone now.”
“No! No, I refuse to believe this!”
I couldn’t even see straight. Blood rushed in my ears. My heart pounded. I raised my hands and saw that they had turned to claws.
“You did this to me!” I lunged at him with those claws. I wanted him to feel as bad as I felt.
His hands closed over my wrists, and he held me off as I struggled to hurt him.
I should’ve been able to do it easily—I had broken that lock, hadn’t I? I should’ve been able to tear him apart. My strength must have worn off. Was that what he meant by finishing my change?
I threw myself against him anyway and struggled to pull my wrists free and thrashed back and forth.
“Stop! This is pointless! I don’t want to hurt you!” He pushed me into the wall hard enough to make the plaster crumble around me.
The shock of it took the fight out of me. I tried to catch my breath.
His eyes flew open wide. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that!” He reached for me.
I snarled and swiped at him with my claws out.
He jumped back with a hiss, and I saw that his teeth had elongated.
The door opened.
We both turned to see who came in.
I couldn’t believe my eyes—he looked just like Gage. Tall, red-haired, handsome.
I stared at him and wondered if seeing double was another side-effect of the whole vampire thing.
Gage froze. “Jonah.”
The newcomer’s jaw dropped. “What the hell is going on here?” He was staring at me, just like I was staring at him.
“I—I—” Gage sputtered.
The guy in the doorway pried his eyes away from me and stared at Gage.
“What have you done?”
14
Anissa
I turned to Felicity, and my face must’ve held all the questions in my head because she nodded slowly.
“I know. I had hoped he’d be awake by now, too.”
“He’s been out this entire time?” I whispered, but I didn’t need an answer.
It was obvious. I was starting to wonder if he would ever wake up. Did he harm himself permanently? If he had, it would be all my fault. I had practically pushed him into tr
ying to control two spiritwalkers at once. I’d never forgive myself—and I’d never, ever be able to face my mother again.
“You’re still the only one who knows he’s here?” I asked.
“Just me and the ones who helped me bring him here. They’ll stay quiet as a favor to me,” she murmured.
I noticed how she hung around by the door, like she wanted to give me space as I stroked the back of Allonic’s hand. It would be too cruel if I lost him forever. We might not have had a typical brother-sister relationship, but it was the only one I had.
“Thank you for making this sacrifice,” I whispered, glancing over my shoulder. “I know it isn’t easy for you.”
“I haven’t had to do much,” she replied. “I’ve tried to treat him as best I can.”
“I don’t mean that—though that matters very much, too,” I added hastily. “I mean keeping him here, keeping him secret. I’m sure it’s not easy for you, with my father and all.”
“Oh, him. Well, I know how to handle him,” she smiled softly. “His bark is worse than his bite. Isn’t that the human saying?”
“It is,” I smiled, and she was right.
Though his bark was bad enough. I stood, brushed off the knees of my jeans—the place needed a good sweeping, but the fact that it looked untidy only made me feel more confident about Allonic not being discovered.
“I should get going now, before I’m missed. I couldn’t leave him here without at least letting you know I was thinking about him. And you.”
“Thank you.” She took my hands and squeezed.
“I’m the one who should be thanking you.” I wanted to hug her, really, but didn’t think the gesture would be appreciated. Instead, I slipped out with the intention of sneaking back to the penthouse. But I would be back, if only to feast my eyes again.
The moon was high in the sky, and the walls of the Hermitage gleamed like they were part of the moon, too. My heart ached with the beauty of it. I wished I had more time to enjoy everything as I hurried across the footbridge, looking down at the fish whose scales had taken on a silvery sheen in the moonlight.
I was too busy admiring them to notice the body I was about to slam straight into.
I rebounded off the man’s chest and almost hit the ground. He caught me just before I did, and I looked into his eyes. His hard, angry eyes.
“Father,” I gasped. Of all the people to run into. Literally.
“Daughter,” he growled in reply, straightening me back up.
I gulped. “How are you?”
“How am I?” he asked, dumbfounded. “If you cared how I am, you would’ve come to see me on your own. I wouldn’t have needed to go looking for you, when I have so many other concerns to fix my attention on.”
“I’m sorry,” I smiled sheepishly. “I was going to pay you a visit, really, I was. But like you just said, you’re so busy…” What a pathetic excuse. I groaned inside.
He flashed a disapproving frown. “Right. What business do you have here?”
“I wanted to visit Felicity. Marigold told me she was here. I thought I could wait her out, but I guess it’ll make more sense for me to come back another time, when she’s not in reflections.”
He pursed his lips like he was deciding whether I was telling the truth.
I willed myself not to give myself away. How was it that lying was so easy with anybody but him? I had relied on my poker face for so long, too. Something to do with him being my father, even if he hadn’t raised me.
“Are you sure you didn’t come to visit with the shade?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
I just about died. “What?”
“You heard me, Anissa. You came to visit with the shade Felicity is hiding.” His eyes probed. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
I couldn’t. I couldn’t say a word. He left me speechless.
“Come with me,” he said, sounding resigned. “Let’s take a walk.”
I hoped against hope that he wanted to take me back to the city of trees, but no such luck. We walked back across the footbridge, past the gazebo, through the pearl-inlaid doors. My mind spun out of control the entire way. What was he going to do? Who told him? One of the guys Felicity swore were trustworthy? What would he do to her? Or to Allonic? I hardly cared about myself—I was the one who got us all into this, and I deserve his wrath. But not them.
What surprised me most wasn’t that he knew Allonic was there, but that he knew exactly where to find him. He didn’t even pause to take stock of where he was along the way, and it was all I could do to keep up with him. He didn’t slow down to match the pace of the fae who were there to meditate. He didn’t have to. He was Gregor.
Felicity sprang to her feet when we entered the room and stood in front of my brother. She had lit a few oil lamps since I left. They glowed around Allonic’s makeshift bed and lit her fearful face.
Gregor’s face darkened with anger—but instead of raging, as I expected, his shoulders fell. “I’m disappointed in you,” he murmured, turning to Felicity.
“It’s not her fault—” I started, but one cold glare from him shut me up.
“I’m disappointed in you, too,” he fired back. “I don’t want to hear your lies right now. You should’ve at least asked permission to do something like this, or asked my counsel. I might have come up with a better plan than this. How were you hoping to get him out of here once he wakes?”
I glanced at Felicity, who shrugged. “I hadn’t considered it yet. He hasn’t even fluttered his eyelids yet.”
“Who told you?” I cut in. I wanted to know who needed to die.
Gregor sighed. “As if I don’t know everything that happens around here. No one needed to tell me. I sensed a change in the energy around the Hermitage. I haven’t felt shade energy in quite some time, but I remembered it clearly enough. And there was undoubtedly a shade in Avellane. What I didn’t know before running into you, daughter, was who sheltered the shade. When I saw you, and you said you were looking for Felicity… It hardly takes a genius.”
I winced. Of course. I gave it away. How was I supposed to know he was all-wise?
Felicity hadn’t moved from her spot in front of Allonic’s body.
“Please step aside,” Gregor commanded.
She did as he asked without putting up a fight. She knew better.
He moved closer—so did I, though I hung back a step or two. Something told me he wanted his space as he looked over the length of my brother’s sleeping form.
Allonic’s chest barely rose and fell. When was he going to wake up? Who would he be when he did?
“What’s wrong with him?” Gregor asked.
“He was helping me with something,” I said, glancing at Felicity with a shrug.
Would he accept that?
The knowing glance he threw over his shoulder told me he didn’t. “Helping you with what?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I have no doubt,” he grumbled. He looked to Felicity next. “Have you been treating him?”
She nodded eagerly. “I’ve been reciting incantations in hopes of restoring his mana.”
I had no idea what that meant and didn’t think it was the right time to ask. In context, it probably had something to do with energy flow or that sort of thing.
She continued, “I’ve also been doing what I can to feed him milk, honey, and round cakes. He’ll open his mouth a bit when I try to pour milk over his lips, but he seems to reject it out of hand. I’m sure it’s only a reflex. I worry, though, how long he’ll be able to live on no food or drink.
I winced, rubbing my temples.
What was I supposed to do next? How would she respond if she knew she was caring for a shade-vampire hybrid? It was one thing for me to be half-vampire. I was also half-fae, and Gregor’s daughter on top of that, which sort of gave me a pass.
Gregor leaned in, reaching for Allonic’s still, smooth face. In the low light from the oil lamps, he seemed to glow a burnished bronze instead of the deep, r
ich color his skin normally was. Maybe that had something to do with his condition? I had no idea. There were too many questions.
All of which were ripped from my mind when Gregor’s fingertips grazed Allonic’s temple. His eyes immediately flew open, glowing an angry amber, and his fangs descended as he hissed in surprise or pain or a combination of both. I had no idea.
Gregor withdrew his hand and fell back a step, frowning, He turned to me, then to Allonic. Then back to me. “We need to talk.”
15
Allonic
There was nothing in any world I’d ever visited that matched the disorientation of waking up in that room.
For the briefest of moments, it brought back a memory from childhood. Being small and unwilling to go to bed when my mother told me to. What was it about children that they so often refused to go to sleep when told to? Were they afraid of missing out on what they perceived would be much more interesting, some secret thing adults did?
At these times, when fatigue would settle over me in spite of my most ardent attempts to keep it at bay, I would wake up to find myself in bed. It was a disconcerting experience, to be sure, the inability to recall how I’d come to be where I was. One moment I’d be awake, playing, and the next I’d be under the blankets, with my head on the pillow, fresh out of a dream.
This was the same feeling when I awoke in the presence of the white-haired man who stood above me with an expression of surprise on his weathered face.
This was not the face of my mother, not the loving countenance of one who sometimes happened to be there when I opened my eyes as a child. And this was not my room. I bared my fangs before I knew what was happening, frightened and confused and still slightly foggy. Where was I? What happened?
“We need to talk.” The white-haired man had a deep, booming voice. A voice which commanded respect, or at least the ears of anyone nearby.
I knew he couldn’t be talking to me—mostly because his face was turned away.
Toward Anissa.
She was there.
I could breathe more easily. My fangs retracted—I had no use for them here. If she was with me and she didn’t look as though she felt threatened, there was no one for me to attack. I wasn’t sure I’d know how to use my natural weapons in an attack, at any rate. I’d never done it before. I used shade skills. And the man was fae. How would my skills fare in battle against a fae?