by T. S. Ryder
If he didn’t want her, then she wasn’t going to leave anything behind for him.
She knew she ought to just leave the palace and go back to her life, but she wasn't ready to do that right away. So she took a long shower, slept some more, and curled up in the bay window with a handful of her favorite comics from the library.
She was almost done with them when there was a timid knock at her door and Hilda came in. Tindra pushed aside her mess of emotions and smiled warmly at the little girl.
"Hey. Are you doing okay?" She held her arms out and Hilda ran to her. Her shoulders shook as she clung to Tindra, but she didn’t make any noise. "It’s okay. It’s okay. What’s wrong, lovely?"
Hilda sat beside her, head hanging, tears leaking from her eyes. "I thought Eva had come back. Nobody will tell me why she left and nobody will tell me why she and Rollon are fighting. Ingrid hasn’t been happy since she left. Why won’t anybody tell me what is going on?"
Tindra stroked Hilda’s fine hair, a frown on her face. Was it really her place to tell Hilda what she knew? She was only a child.
A child who has lived longer than me. Even Thor is younger than she is. Maybe vampires froze mentally at the age when they were turned, but that didn’t mean that Hilda couldn’t understand what was going on around her. She deserved to have answers, not just confusion and tears.
"I don’t know everything," Tindra said slowly. "But I’ll let you know what I have been told."
As briefly and gently as she could, Tindra told the child what was between Eva and Rollon. By the time she was done, Hilda had her face hidden in the folds of Tindra’s shirt, her shoulders shaking and sobs ripping through her body. Tindra stroked her hair, wishing she knew what to say to make it better.
"Why wouldn’t they tell me?" Hilda wailed plaintively. "I had a right to know. Why would they make me hope . . . Why would they let me still love her if she has done all of that to us?"
"They didn’t want you to be hurt, baby. They didn’t want you to have to go through that pain."
Hilda pulled away. "Well, I’m hurt now!"
She tore away before Tindra could say anything else. The human called after her, but Hilda didn’t turn around. Mentally kicking herself, she grabbed her phone and called Ingrid. This was exactly why she shouldn’t have kids. She didn’t know how to keep her big mouth shut. Tears burned her eyes as she called Ingrid and quickly told her what she had done.
Ingrid sighed. "I suppose it was inevitable. I wish you had talked to me first."
"I'm—"
"I'll find her and talk to her." Ingrid hung up.
Tindra closed her eyes, a headache pounding in her skull. Was Ingrid going to be angry with her too? Maybe it would be best if she just went home. But Eva might still target her. And she’d have no guards to protect her there. So what was she to do?
Rollon.
Nope, not going there.
Except . . . Except there was clearly something he wasn’t telling her. Something he was holding back. Thor’s mother had been human. She couldn't have been the only human he slept with. So what had changed? What had made him swear off all human companions? Had he killed someone?
She had to find out.
Her heart hammered, but her mind was made up. If she was going to sit around and mope in limbo, then what good was she? Maybe Rollon just didn’t want her. Maybe he just slept with her because he needed blood and sex to heal. Either way, she wanted straightforward answers. She threw on a sweater and pulled her damp hair into a ponytail before marching down to Rollon’s office.
He was in a meeting with a handful of guards. Tindra didn’t let herself hesitate. If she hesitated she would lose her nerve and then where would she be?
"Look," she said, pushing through the guards to stand over Rollon’s desk. "You owe me answers."
Rollon glared at her coldly, but she wasn’t going to let herself be intimidated this time. He was only like this when around people he thought needed to be awed and impressed by him.
"Answers," she repeated. "Now."
"I have told you all you need to know."
"Like hell you have! You say humans are too fragile to be with? But there are dozens of vampires with human companions. We’ve slept together and I didn’t break. I didn’t even bruise, for crying out loud. You drank from me and I’m still alive. So there is more going on here than you will say. So either you tell me everything or throw me in the dungeon."
Rollon stared her down. "I understand that you are upset, Tindra. It’s not easy to be rejected―"
"If you think that is what this is about, you’d better get your head out of your . . . " She bit her tongue and counted to ten. "You know very well that this isn’t about rejection. I’ve seen something in you and I know that you want me. You just seem determined to deny yourself it. So what is it?"
"Human, you have interrupted an important meeting and . . . and my business is my own!" Rollon actually looked flustered.
Tindra couldn’t stop herself. "Not when your ‘business’ has been inside of me."
There was a snicker behind her and she whirled on the guards. Up until this point, she didn’t care if they were there or not, but she suddenly got sick of them being in the room. She pointed at the door and glared at all of them.
"Get out."
The closest one snorted. "My lady, you do not command—"
"Get out!"
The vampire stared at her for a moment before glancing at Rollon. The king must have nodded, because the guards trailed out, closing the door after them. Tindra turned back to Rollon, crossing her arms as she did so. He might have scared her once with the ice-cold stare before, but she wasn’t going to let herself be intimidated now.
To her surprise, Rollon looked drained. He sunk into his chair and shook his head. "You certainly have the dominance to be a queen."
"I don’t want to be a queen. I want answers."
He considered her for a moment longer, then his shoulders slumped. "And I suppose you won’t let it alone until you have them."
"Very true."
Rollon sighed. "Thor’s mother . . . she was human. I tried to turn her into a vampire. It . . . didn’t go well. I bit her, drained her, and fed her my blood. Only . . . only it didn’t work."
Tindra drew forward, her anger draining away. "You mean she died?"
"No. She’s stuck. Halfway vampire, halfway dead. Aging but not dying. And she has been for a hundred years. She’s getting worse, though. If she isn’t constantly fed blood . . . and she can’t even breathe on her own anymore. It’s the worst fate you can imagine."
Guilt was written in each line of his face. Tindra’s heart ached for him. To have something so terrible happen to him . . . What could she say to that? There were no words, so she wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. By his own words, he had changed others dozens of times. But it’s different when it’s someone you love.
Tears blurred her vision. Her lip trembled and she clamped down on it, trying to breathe freely. But since he told her his greatest regret . . .
"I want kids," she blurted. "I want them so bad sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe."
Rollon’s arms snaked around her waist. He pressed his face into her shoulder. "Ever since you came here you've been telling me that you don't want children."
"I lied." Her voice cracked as she continued. "I was pregnant once. I had a miscarriage. I was only a teenager, and I know now that it wasn’t really my fault. But it felt like my fault. My mom . . . She acted like it was my fault. She told me that if I had been more grown up about it . . . She was the reason I hid it in the first place. She only found out because I had to go to the hospital . . . "
"And you're afraid it might happen again?"
Tindra sniffed and shrugged. "Afraid that I might lose my baby. Afraid that I'm not good enough to be a mother. Afraid that I'll make my child's life as miserable as my mother made mine."
Rollon pulled back. He wiped a tear from her face and gentl
y kissed her. "You would be a wonderful mother, Tindra. But I'm not going to be the father of your children. After what happened with Thor's mother . . . You have to understand, we can't last forever. Even vampires die."
"I understand," Tindra whispered. And if she tried, it was the truth.
But God, did she want to prove him wrong.
Chapter Twelve – Rollon
When the door to his office opened after a single knock, Rollon looked up hopefully. Disappointment crashed down on him when he saw that it wasn't Tindra, though he shoved it aside. He had made it clear to the human what she ought to expect from him, and he was going to stick to it. Their tragic pasts aside, he had to focus on what was best for the kingdom . . . and, yes, her as well.
"Thor," he greeted. He noted his son's heavy frown and gestured for him to sit. "What's wrong?"
"I found the traitor." He handed over a report, expression darkening further.
Rollon took the file and opened it. It only took a quick scan to tell him what he wanted to know. Slowly he closed the file again. His stomach turned and he shook his head. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. I checked for any possible alternatives. I . . . I don't know what to think. I didn't want to believe it."
The king rounded his desk and gripped his son's shoulder. "Thor, I know that this is difficult. But we can't ignore facts."
How could she do this? What had he done to make her turn against him? His heart felt heavy like it was made from coal rather than flesh. What was done was done, though. His first obligation was to the kingdom and protecting the people he served. He wasn't going to let her ruin all that. No matter how painful this would be.
After calling for Zander and a half-dozen guards, Rollon headed for Tindra's room. The human's eyes widened when they came in. She jumped to her feet, but Rollon didn't look at her. His gaze was locked on Ingrid. She stood slowly, and he thought he saw defeat in her eyes.
"Tindra, I need you to take Hilda out."
"What?" Hilda looked between them. Her young face was alarmed, but he couldn't stand to look at her. "What's going on?"
***
"Tindra," Rollon repeated. He waited until they were gone before letting his anger show. His nostrils flared as he loomed over Ingrid. "You betrayed us."
The female vampire twisted her hands. "My lord—"
"We found your communications with Eva. Do you deny it?"
"Communications?" Ingrid's gaze darted between him and the gathered guard. "My lord, I don't know that you're talking about. I swore her off a long time ago. I am loyal to you and—"
Thor stepped forward as Rollon's muscles tensed. The prince planted himself subtly between Rollon and Ingrid, but when he spoke there was no compassion in his tone. "I personally led an investigation into how Eva found out about Tindra and the passage under the palace. You were in charge of design when it was built, and I uncovered phone records from your account calling a cell I was able to trace to Eva's location. Always you calling her. How could you?"
Ingrid shook her head. "I didn't. My lord, I didn't!"
"Arrest her." Rollon clenched his hands, resisting the urge to rush forward and shake the woman.
"Why?" Ingrid didn't resist as Zander moved forward and cuffed her hands with silver behind her back. "Why would I do that? After what Eva did to me, why would I help her?"
Rollon shook his head. "You love her."
Ingrid's eyes filled with tears, but she didn't deny it. It was probably best for her that she didn't. The rage was bundled so tightly in his chest that he might just explode if she tried to defend herself. After everything she had been through, she still chose Eva. And what about Hilda? Hadn't the child been through enough?
"I want her left in the women's dungeon. No communications with anybody but myself and Thor," he said to Zander.
The guard inclined his head. "My lord."
"I didn't do it, Rollon," Ingrid cried as the guards pulled her out. "I didn't—"
Rollon roared and flipped over a table, unable to keep in his fury. He had trusted her. She was more than a servant. She was the mistress of his house and she had betrayed him and everybody in the kingdom.
He grabbed a chair.
"Put that down right now!" Tindra's voice cracked like lightning. She charged into the room and grabbed the chair from him. "Don't you dare come in here, arrest my friend and start destroying my things."
Rollon took a step back. "I'm sorry." He glanced around. "Where's Hilda?"
"I had a guard take her to the kitchen for ice cream. Now, are you going to tell me what is going on?"
Thor grasped his father's shoulder. "Ingrid has been in communication with Eva. We have the phone records to prove it."
Tindra's jaw dropped. She swayed on the spot, then shook her head. "No. No, it's not true. What records do you have that prove it was her that made the calls? She leaves her phone all over the place. For all you know I could have made those calls. See, look!"
She charged across the room and snatched a cellphone from the sofa. She waved it around triumphantly, but Rollon couldn't reply. The proof pointed toward Ingrid. Maybe more evidence would come forward to clear her name but he couldn't act on hope. After a moment, Tindra seemed to see his expression and her hands dropped. Her shoulders slumped and she shook her head.
"When Eva attacked, Ingrid didn't want anything to do with her. Do you really think she'd be involved in trying to take you down? If she was involved, why not just kidnap me and deliver me to Eva instead of that big show about breaking in? Eva wouldn't have risked getting caught if she could have just snatched me."
"Ingrid will receive a fair trial," Rollon said at last. "But I can't risk the fact that she isn't loyal. I don't expect you to understand."
Tindra's jaw tightened.
Rollon turned abruptly to Thor. "Go make sure that Ingrid is being treated fairly."
With a nod, Thor left. The king stepped forward. He knew it was stupid, but he wanted to reach out to Tindra, to tell her that he was sorry and it wasn't going to end like this. He wanted to tell her that he was certain Ingrid would be cleared, but what good were lies? Instead, he shook his head and looked away.
"Hilda has grown very fond of you. I would like it if you would accept being her guardian for the time being."
"That's not exactly what I had in mind when I told you that I wanted children."
"I'm not—" He shook his head. "Will you take her or not? It will be temporary. Until Ingrid's trial, and then other arrangements will be found, depending on the outcome."
Tindra's shoulders slumped. She moved forward and touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't be doing this if you had a choice. It's just that I'm shocked and angry—"
"Yeah. Me too."
She moved as though to embrace him and he stepped back. Her arms dropped. After a moment she nodded. "I'll watch after Hilda. But you have to be the one to tell her what is happening."
He flinched. He knew she was right, but that didn't mean he wanted to have to break Hilda's heart again. This was going to hurt.
Chapter Thirteen – Tindra
The thick, sweet liquid poured over her tongue, filling her with heat and life. She pressed herself deeper into her lover's arms, wanting more. Wanting it all. He groaned, his body moving with hers.
He entered in one smooth motion and she took him all in, still sucking in his sweet blood . . .
Tindra wasn't sure when she woke from the dream, images of her and Rollon still filling her mind. Her hand moved between her legs and she let out a throaty moan.
Her core was so tight she thought she might burst. She swung out of bed at once. After Ingrid's arrest she had been moved to the vampires’ apartment, so Hilda wouldn't have to go through the upheaval of moving on top of everything else. Her charge was sleeping soundly in her room, so Tindra stepped out, ordering a guard to stand outside the door in case Hilda woke and needed anything, and rushed toward Rollon's apartment.
It wasn't until she was there
that she realized that he might not want to see her, especially this late at night. A throbbing ache filled her, though, so she pushed aside her doubts and strode towards the doors. A couple guards stood outside them but smirked knowingly when she approached. Neither of them said anything or tried to stop her as she slipped into the king's apartment.
Once inside, Tindra stopped. She leaned against the door, heart pounding. Should she really be doing this? After all the upheaval that was going on . . .
Another throb in her lower regions. She nearly moaned with need. The dream came back full force and she jogged to Rollon's bedroom door. It was closed, but not locked, and she slipped through eagerly. A light flicked on and she saw him lying in bed, blinking confusedly as she raced at him. He caught her when she threw herself onto the bed, bouncing slightly. She ground herself against him through the blankets as she straddled him. Rollon let out a surprised laugh.
"Well, this is unexpected." He smirked at her. "Although I'm going to have to have a couple of guards whipped, I'm glad to see you're speaking to me again."
Tindra grasped his wrists and pressed her weight into them, pinning him to the bed. At least, she pretended that she was and that he couldn’t push her off with the flick of his little finger. The ache inside was getting even tighter. She dropped her head to nestle into his neck. He smelled divine, pure man, and a growl erupted as her tongue flicked over his throat. She could actually feel his pulse. Strange. She hadn't considered them having heartbeats before.
"Had I stopped talking to you?" she moaned.
"You haven't talked to me since Ingrid was arrested."
Tindra shook her head. "Nope. You haven't talked to me. I was waiting for you to come to me, but you didn't. I wondered if you were still mad at me."
"For what?"
"Seducing you."
She moved to his mouth, thrusting her tongue in at once. She rocked herself against him, her sensitivity heightening quickly. A moan, an answering groan, and Rollon freed his hands. He grasped her hips and lifted her enough to kick off the blankets, then rolled so his big body pressed her into the mattress. Her hips continued to move as though with a mind of their own, grinding.