He would have to give her room so she’d feel she could leave.
But now? He was going to love her with everything in him. The way he’d always been meant to.
22
Kelli wandered the barn on Sunday, still puzzling through the right thing to do with Timothy Carlyn’s astonishing proposition.
It wasn’t as if she was going to up and leave Silver Stone. That option was out, but there had to be a way for her to be able to get to know the man more. Not for anything he could give her, but because it was the right thing to do.
Yet just the thought of her grandfather brought back so many memories of time with her mom and everything she’d escaped.
Yeah, her head was a bit of a mess right now, and there was no clear path to follow.
Normally when she felt like this Kelli would’ve found Luke and spent the morning trailing after him. It was a bit of a shock to realize that in spite of her hard work to hide her attraction all those years, she’d built a lot of habits into her life that revolved around the man.
Talking to him when she was working through a puzzle had been one of them. The noted exception had been her dealing with the abused-women situation, because that had been too close to a part of her world she didn’t want to talk about with anyone.
She would’ve talked with him now, only the stubborn man had been mysteriously missing from bed when she woke. There’d been a plate of food in the fridge and the coffee maker set to go at the touch of a button, so he had cared for her before vanishing.
Damn the man. As sweet as that was, what she needed was a lengthy discussion, and he was nowhere to be seen.
She didn’t want to talk to Tamara, nor Ashton, and yet the thoughts inside were near to bursting with the urgency to figure this out.
As the day passed, and the next, Luke went from being annoyingly MIA to super-annoyingly out of reach. He came home late and left early, avoiding all conversation because he had “this thing he really needed to get done” at that moment.
He “trusted her judgement” and “was there when she needed him” but then would vanish for hours without anyone knowing where he’d gone.
She was no dummy. Kelli had figured out what was going on—Luke was avoiding her, although she didn’t know why.
Unless it was to piss her off, in which case, he was succeeding. In spades.
Kelli marched into the barn on Wednesday afternoon. She’d had another breakfast alone, and the sweet note he’d left had just made her angrier because she wanted him, not a note.
A door slammed in the distance. A moment late Josiah Ryder burst into view, his cheeks flushed and a furrow between his brows. He jerked to a stop when he saw her.
A second later he was smiling and completely in control. “Kelli. Good to see you.”
She snorted. “Dude. You are the best liar I’ve ever met. Oh wait—it’s not called lying, right? It’s acting.”
Josiah pressed a finger to his lips. “You’re one of the only people in this town I told about my theatre days, so don’t blow my cover.”
So that’s the way he wanted to play it? Kelli decided to let him off the hook this time. Mostly. “Okay, Superman. Only I thought the mild-mannered hero was a reporter by day, not a vet.” She peered behind him. “Who pissed you off?”
“No one.” He edged past her. “Got to run. Tell Ashton I’ll be back tomorrow for a follow-up check on Thunderbolt.”
“No prob.” Kelli watched him hurry away, amusement rising when she turned to discover Lisa Coleman headed toward her.
It might have been coincidence, the other woman coming from the very direction that Josiah had just escaped from like he’d been pursued by dragons.
The fact Lisa was preoccupied, checking in all the stalls she passed, seemed a teeny bit suspicious, though.
Kelli cleared her throat, and Lisa’s head snapped up, her eyes sparkling. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself.” Kelli couldn’t resist. “Looking for someone?”
“Josiah,” Lisa admitted, somewhat reluctantly.
“Something wrong? I mean, I just saw him. I could run and—”
“Don’t worry about it, we’re good,” Lisa’s gaze sharpened. “What’s up with you?”
So much for keeping the upper hand. Lisa was not one to be messed around with. “I never said anything was wrong.”
“Of course you didn’t. Now tell me.”
Kelli rolled her eyes. “Fine. Luke seems to be avoiding me. Like literally turning heel and going in a different direction to avoid talking.”
“Ahh.”
Well, that was annoying too. “Ahh? That’s really all you’re going to say?”
“It’s less obnoxious than ‘Gadzooks, I’ve got it!’ I think Luke is giving you space to figure out what you want.”
“What I freaking want is to talk to him about what I want,” Kelli complained.
Lisa laughed. “Yeah. But he’s being noble or something annoying. Am I right?”
“Could be. I’m not sure since I can’t find him to ask.” Kelli’s annoyance was fading, though. “It’s not that complicated, I guess. I just want to think it through more. What’s the right thing to do?”
Lisa looked thoughtful. “It sounds like such a simple question, doesn’t it? You’d think that the right thing would be sitting up on top, visible and bold. Most of the time it’s the opposite. The truth hides, not because it’s trying to be hard to find, but because it’s important enough you need to dig for it. You’ve got to really want it.”
It had been such a short time, and yet Lisa had stepped into the family and joined Silver Stone as if she belonged there, which made sense because she was such an intricate part of Tamara’s life.
Only now Kelli wondered…
Kelli looked her over closely. “What do you want, Lisa?”
Lisa blinked hard. Then her face lit up, and an enormous smile slid into place. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”
Okay. “That’s good, but it’s not an answer.”
The other woman folded her arms and leaned back against the stall boards. “I haven’t had a lot of people ask me that, you know. I’ve had a lot of people tell me what they think I ought to do, and even more tell me what they think I shouldn’t do.”
“I get a lot of that, as well, but you’re not answering the question,” Kelli pointed out. “If I stepped over a line or something—”
“Nah, definitely not a line, but it is something I’ll admit I’ve only been thinking about really hard in the last couple of months.” Lisa shrugged. “I want to be happy. I think most people do, but usually what made me happy in the past was making other people happy. That’s not wrong, but going forward, I plan to focus a little bit more on me. Untangle a few of the secrets I’ve kept not just from other people, but maybe even hidden from myself.”
“Deep.”
“Very. I think I’ll end up on a journey of discovery, because I don’t know what tomorrow should hold. There’s an awful long time between now and forever. I want it to matter. Whatever I do. I want it to matter to others, but especially to me.”
Doing what mattered. Doing what truly would make Kelli happy.
It was like being hit with a brick wall. Or the time she’d taken a kick right in the solar plexus, flying through the air and reeling from the impact of hoof and earth. “You’re not as simple as you like to make others think, are you?” Kelli teased with a smile to soften the words. “I’m glad you want to be happy.”
“I’m glad you understood that everything I just rambled off boils down to that one truth.”
The man-door of the barn swung open, and Lisa motioned with her head to where a tall figure was marching toward them. “It appears he’s come out of hiding. If your one truth is like mine, you want to be happy too. I have a feeling that someone else truly wants the same thing, especially with you.”
“Yet it feels like he’s doing everything possible to make it easy for me to leave,” Kelli complained.
&nb
sp; “Men.” Lisa stared heavenward for a moment, and then her face lit up almost dangerously. “Bet you twenty bucks he starts an argument with you over something stupid before—”
“Lisa Coleman, I told you no more bets regarding my relationships.” Kelli pressed her fists to her hips and glared at the other woman, holding her mouth pursed long as she could before breaking into laughter.
Luke was nearly upon them. Lisa backed away, tossing Kelli a wink. “Fine, I won’t take your money. I still think you’ll end up in the tack room before too long. Because I know what happens when you guys finish arguing and move to making up.”
“Kelli?” Luke stepped around Lisa, who wiggled her fingers before taking off with a skip in her step.
Kelli slipped into Chili Pepper’s pen. “I’ll be out in a second.”
“I’ll wait.”
She had nothing to do. Not really, but the moment to collect her thoughts helped. Kelli pressed her forehead against Pepper’s. Speaking in the barest whisper as she gathered her courage. “Maybe you can share a little of your stubbornness to make sure I do this right.”
The mare snorted, ruffling Kelli’s braids, and she laughed, squeezing Chili Pepper affectionately before crawling out of the pen and closing the gate behind her.
Luke uncurled himself from the wall he’d been leaning against and stepped toward her. “We need to talk.”
* * *
Luke had tried to stay away. Really, he had, but it had been growing steadily more impossible. Even riding that morning for a couple of hours had done nothing to still the damn jumping beans in his gut.
He’d stopped on the hillside where his mom and dad were buried, but the only thing that had reminded him of was how fully they’d lived their lives. Every single day until they were gone, they had laughed and loved and given generously to the family.
He might’ve told Kelli she had to make her own decision and that whatever she wanted, he would support her, but part of his promise was a lie.
If she chose to go away, he was going to die inside. He didn’t want her to leave him.
While he’d been daydreaming, Kelli had wandered into the empty stall beside Chili Pepper, rake in hand as she smoothed the hard-packed earth floor. Working while they talked, the way they had for years together.
But this time, he took the rake from her hands and leaned it against the wall, needing her full attention. “Your grandpa called. He wants your phone number, and I wanted to find out from you first if that was okay. He’d like to come out to the ranch this weekend.”
She gave a quick nod before a look of incredulousness spread over her face. “This is not going to go away when I blink, is it?
He shook his head. “No. It’s real.”
“Of course, you can give him my number. It’s good for him to be able to have a way to get in touch—” Her eyes widened like dinner plates, and she swore softly. “Oh my God, he still thinks we’re engaged, doesn’t he?”
His spine stiffened. “Yeah.”
Her face twisted, and her nose wrinkled. “I wonder what he’d say if we told him the truth.”
Fuck his good intentions. Luke’s heart pounded so hard he felt it in his throat. “You really don’t want me that much?”
Her expression turned to sheer confusion. “What?”
“You’re willing to simply give me up.”
“What are you—?”
“What if it wasn’t a lie?” Anger rose along with a sense of out-of-control futility, and he dragged a hand through his hair, pacing away. Pacing back. “I don’t have anything I can do to prove to you that I’m worth it. There’s nothing I can give up to show that you’re worth everything to me. You’ve got money now, and you’ve got connections. We don’t need each other anymore the way we did heading out to the gala. But if you’re not with me, at my side, it’s all worthless.”
Words spilled from him like a Chinook wind assaulting the icy cold of winter. Relentless, heated and unstoppable.
Kelli’s eyes had grown wider and her jaw hung open, but no sound came out.
Which was fine, because he was nowhere near done.
“Maybe it’s wrong, but I don’t give a rat’s ass about Silver Stone if you’re not by my side every morning when I wake up.” His volume increased, and he crowded toward her. “Hell, I’ll move to Kentucky if that’s what it takes so I can hold you in my arms every night. If that’s where you feel like you have to be.”
“Whoa, boy.” Kelli’s arm shot out against his chest, and she leaned into him, catching him off guard enough that his feet tangled and he tipped backward into the wall of the pen. That was the only reason she could have used her slight weight to pin him in place.
Now she glared at him, staring up with so much determination he totally understood how she controlled the horses.
“You had a few too many cups of coffee this morning, Luke Stone. You need to slow the hell down.”
“How can I calm down when you plan to leave me?” God, he sounded as if he was begging her to stay, which wasn’t far from the truth.
A furl formed between her eyes. Fire and heat glared back at him. “You promised not to make assumptions, so back up and shut up for a minute.”
“But I—”
Her glare intensified, and he slammed his lips together, suddenly aware he really had been spewing at the mouth without his brain engaged.
Then she let him have it with both barrels, at just as high a volume as he’d used a moment earlier. “Why would you have to give something up to prove yourself? Isn’t the point of caring for someone that you do things for them instead of not doing things for them?”
He waited until he was certain he was allowed to speak. “I guess.”
“I know you’ve cared for me as a friend for years. I’m pretty sure you’ve cared about me these past weeks since we became lovers. I think that’s what all this talk about holding me in your arms at night and waking up with me in the morning is about.”
“What if I want more?”
She folded her arms over her chest. “Maybe you should ask me if that’s what I want, if it’s what you want. Do you really think I won’t believe you if you say you want more?”
“Why are you arguing with me, woman?” Luke snapped.
“Because you started it,” Kelli shouted.
“You asked what your grandpa would say if he found out we weren’t really engaged.”
“It was a rhetorical question, jackass.”
“Not to me.” The only thing that registered in his brain from the last few minutes was her saying you should ask me.
Which is why he dropped to his knees in front of her and caught her hands, staring up at her right there in the horse stall as he held on tight to keep her from escaping.
As he held her because he couldn’t let go. “Kelli James, marry me.”
She was back to being speechless, mouth open, staring at him as if he’d lost his mind. She was quiet for so long, fear curled in his belly.
Had he’d totally misread everything?
“Why?” There was so much hope on her face. “And it better not be because it’s logical for you and I to be together.”
And it finally—finally—sank in what he’d been missing.
“Dammit, Kelli. This isn’t about logic, it’s about how much I fucking love you and need you—”
Kelli threw herself at him. She wrapped her arms and legs around him as she peppered his face with kisses, laughter pooling around them. His knees ground into the dirt as he clutched her close.
She pulled away far enough to catch his cheeks in her palms, amusement decorating her expression. “This is a little disturbing. That we’re here, in a stall, and you’re proposing.”
“There is no manure present, and right now the only word I want to hear from you is yes,” Luke muttered.
“I don’t really have to answer, do I?” Kelli took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I love you too.”
That was the part he’d forgotte
n before, but damn if she just didn’t keep on being perfect for him. “That’s been there for a long, long time, even when I was too stupid to say it. I love you,” he repeated, pushing everything inside him into the words. “I think I always have.”
“I’m very lovable,” she pointed out.
He laughed as he picked her up, kissing her hungrily as he pressed her against the wall of the pen.
On the other side of the wood, Pepper nickered, and Kelli laughed against his lips. “She says congratulations.”
“I believe you.”
Only Luke didn’t need a horse, or anyone else, as a witness to what he wanted next.
He carried Kelli across the hall, sliding into the tack room and closing the door. “We need to talk about so many things—”
Kelli’s hands were at the button of his pants, as eager as he was to strip away layers. “Later. Not too much later, but for now I need to make sure I get my twenty bucks worth.”
He stiffened before putting two and two together. “Dammit. Lisa made a bet with you.”
“You should’ve taken me to the hayloft,” Kelli teased, and then her hands were on him, sliding on protection from somewhere, thank God. And they were moving together. Full of life and energy and happiness as she made it very clear that her answer was a one-hundred-percent, fully engaged, Kelli-endorsed, enthusiastically-accepted yes.
Her fingernails dug into his shoulders, and her legs wrapped around his hips as he cupped her ass and moved her against him. Together in this place where they’d been a million times.
And while he didn’t know what was going to happen in the future, somewhere along the line, whether it was here at Silver Stone or at another ranch, he was pretty sure they’d be finding places to make love wherever they ended up.
“I love you.” He whispered the words against her ear as they rocked together, physically connected. Her eyes were bright in the dim light shining through the small side window. He said it again, because it tasted so perfect on his lips. “I love you, Kelli James.”
“Thank goodness,” she whispered back. “Because it’s far easier, this loving stuff, when it’s the two of us in the same pile of trouble.”
A Rancher’s Bride: The Stones of Heart Falls: Book 3 Page 24