by Leslie Scott
“Yeah.” Awful things that were true.
“That weren’t true.” He practically read my mind.
I looked up at him. The set of his jaw, the surety in his eyes, told me he believed what he’d said just as much as Breanna had believed what she had said. “I know you’ve been through a lot, Rae. I know there are a lot of things you don’t tell us, but we saw the changes in you—” He held up a hand when I opened my mouth. “Hear me out, you’ve been different. But the person who felt that difference the most? Was Breanna.”
He let that hang in the air for a while. My dad didn’t say much, never really had, but he was an observer. I’d been naïve to think he hadn’t seen any difference in me. Just as Breanna was naively convinced he had no clue she was running off whenever she could. He knew all of us, very well.
He continued with the easy way he had, that was so much like Aiden. “She looks up to you, in a lot of ways she wants to be like you. But, she isn’t, she never will be. Breanna will never see the world like you do. You see the gray, everything in between the black and white. You see the good in the bad and the bad in the good.”
I accepted the cup of coffee he handed me. It lacked creamer but wasn’t half bad. I took a soothing sip and let him finish putting things in perspective for me. I hoped he could do the same for Breanna.
“Your sister sees black and white. Everything is either right or wrong, nothing can be a bit of both. I know, because I was a lot like her at that age. It took this really smart woman to show me life wasn’t always cut and dry.
“You’re a lot like that woman. I see it every time I look at you.” He tucked an errant strand of my hair behind my ear before I had the chance. “You’re just like her.”
“It’s funny.” I went to him and hugged him, surprised my voice didn’t come out in a squeak. “I was thinking how much Aiden reminds me of you.”
“Yup.” He wrapped an arm around me as I snuggled into his side. “Do you love him, Raelynn?”
He didn’t mean Aiden. “I think I always have.”
“That’s what I’ve been afraid of,” he said with a touch of humor in his voice. “I think your sister fancies herself in love with that McAllister boy.” He sighed, sadly. “It’s misguided and unrequited, much like his feelings for you. But, she thinks she loves him.”
I balked and started to argue with him. That Breanna would be in love with Devin was about the most ridiculous thing ever. He cut me off with a wave of his hand. “She looks at him the very same way you look at Jordan. Always has. Just because she doesn’t say it, doesn’t tell you, doesn’t make it less true in her eyes. Breanna keeps a lot of things to herself. She gets that from me. We don’t always say what we feel, we keep it inside until it’s too late.”
“Damn.” I had never thought of that. I wouldn’t have thought Breanna capable of keeping such a secret from me. Then again, I’d kept a lot from her. Keeping secrets from the people you loved, that loved you, wasn’t the best idea. That was a lesson I’d take to my grave.
“Yeah.” He squeezed me to him. “So, remember that. She was wrong, both with her words and for even saying them at all. But, she can’t help herself. When she loves something, when she feels that something is right, she’ll fight to the death to protect it…I know, I’m the same way.”
There wasn’t much I could say to any of that.
“Now, go let him know you’re all right. He’s chomping at the bit over there.”
Dad was right, Jordan was pacing in front of his shop as the sun started to set. My brother and Vic were getting the Malibu ready to be loaded. He met me in the middle of the street that ran between our houses.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” I let myself be wrapped in his arms. My dad had been the talk I needed, the strength I’d needed to find.
“Don’t be mad at her,” I whispered to him.
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Raelynn,” Jordan argued. He held me at arm’s length and snorted. “I have every right to be mad at her. She came in my hou—”
I placed a finger over his lips to silence him. “She’s in love with him.”
“Devin?” His face lit up incredulously.
“Yeah.” This from Aiden as we walked up the driveway. “I’d bet he knows it too and that’s why he called her.”
“To start shit.” Vic shook his head sadly from the empty stall where Devin’s car had sat.
“Seemed like it.” Aiden loaded more stuff into the back of the shop truck.
“Dude,” was all Vic could say. He looked helpless, as if he were being forced to pick sides in a war he wanted no part of.
“Why don’t you go find him, check on him,” I offered.
“Nah, I’m good. Let’s get loaded up.” With that from Vic, the three of them went back to work as I watched, wondering how the best day of my life had turned into one of the worst. How sides could be chosen so easily when we were all supposed to be part of the same team.
Chapter Seventeen
The ride to the track for testing didn’t contain its typical edge of excitement. In fact, the mood was far more somber than normal. To my left Jordan stared out the windshield, to my right Aiden out his window. There was a huge elephant in the room…and I was it.
“I figured you’d be mad.” I nudged my brother’s arm.
He blinked once and looked at me as if I’d spoken in tongues. “Mad about what?”
“About Jordan and me.” I picked at my cuticles.
Jordan laughed. “Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that to go smoothly either.”
“Jesus.” Aiden snorted. “Do I look stupid?”
“Is that a trick question?” Jordan’s brow lifted.
“Ha ha—no. I’ve been waiting on this one since before I married Wendy.”
“Really?” I was genuinely surprised.
“Yeah, I can’t believe anyone is surprised by the two of you hooking up. It was bound to happen sooner or later.” He grinned over at Jordan. “The rest doesn’t need to be said.”
“What?” When neither answered me I needled Jordan with my elbow. “What doesn’t need to be said?”
He squeezed my knee. “If I hurt you, he’ll kill me.”
One look at the devilish twist of my brother’s mouth and I understood why it didn’t need to be said. I’d never thought about it before, but there was a wild streak to Aiden Casey. A part of my brother that could never and would never be tamed. He would rip Jordan apart if he had to.
The night was an off night for everyone, Jordan’s time slips proved it. Not that he’d ever been a huge fan of testing at the track. We were all on edge, all worried about Devin and my sister. Nobody’s head was in the game.
“It’s a street car, meant to be raced on the street,” Jordan grumbled as he sat in the car with a laptop propped on his knees.
“There’s some rubber on it man, the street can’t get any better,” Vic argued.
It wasn’t the surface or the car that was the problem. It was the driver. The look Aiden shot me over the roof of the car was in agreement. Jordan hadn’t been right since we’d got word that Devin was testing almost a hundred miles away to avoid us. Devin had never tested without Jordan before and it weighed heavily on him.
“Hey.” I leaned in the open door. “You all right?”
He glanced at me before pulling off the hat and rubbing his head. “No, not really.”
I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips against his. My kiss was soft and meant to be fleeting, but he pulled me close and held me there. Jordan took his time with it, as if he were committing every part of my mouth to memory.
“Cut it out!” Aiden called from the other side of the car. “You can’t kiss my sister in front of me. It’s weird.”
Jordan’s response was to kiss me again, this time slower, more lingering, and with a considerable bit more tongue than before.
Aiden groaned and tossed a wrench, loudly, into a tool box.
“I’m with him, it’s
going to take some getting used to,” Vic commiserated.
Jordan eyed me in an almost predatory fashion as I moved out of the car so I didn’t offend my brother’s sensibilities. “You’re gonna have to get used to it. I like kissing your sister, Aiden.”
I burst into giggles at my brother’s blank stare. The pressure that surrounded us started to give. From then on, everything was much more natural.
The last few test hits were much better, both car and driver responded aggressively. On the last one, Aiden whooped and tossed a fist up in the air before he jogged to the trailer. “That’s how you win SKS, baby!” He shouted at Jordan over the roar of the engine.
It could be this way. I’d never believed I could feel like this. There were some things missing, but there was happiness. I could be happy. I could have love. My sister, Devin, the rest of it would work itself out.
I could have my own taste of happily ever after.
I spent the rest of the week at Jordan’s. It made things easier for my parents without the tension of feuding sisters under the same roof. Breanna couldn’t change who she was and neither could I. My dad was right. She was hurt. She’d move on. It would just take time. I could give her time.
Spending every night with Jordan, falling asleep with him wrapped around me, and waking up to him every morning made me forget everything else. I lived in a bubble of Jordan and SKS preparations. I carried my invisible scars alone for long enough. I deserved some sort of reward.
My nights with Jordan were that reward.
Still, the biggest scar that remained was self-doubt. “Do you regret this?”
He glanced at me as he leaned over the engine. “Nah, either they’ll get over it or they won’t.” As with so many other things, that was the end of it as far as Jordan was concerned.
He had no regrets being with me.
I spent the rest of the day helping Jordan and Vic. The prize money for SKS wasn’t the reason any of these guys raced. It was barely enough money to put a new set of tires on any of these cars. They raced for the title King of the Streets, for the pride and bragging rights. In the end it would come down to one of a select few with one of those being Jordan.
For the first time, I’d be going to Street King Showdown without my sister. Breanna’s absence over the week had made it clear she wouldn’t be going with us.
Devin wouldn’t be going with us either. We had heard through the grapevine that he’d found himself a new crew. Making sure it was filled with people Jordan didn’t care much for. It was blatant disrespect executed with purpose.
I could practically peel away the nervous energy that flowed off Jordan as we walked to see my parents.
My sister’s truck was long gone.
“Way!” Luke screamed, his little mouth struggling to form the “r” sound. A bolt of excitement hit me. My nephew had never said my name before. Across the kitchen, my brother grinned proudly.
“Hey, Luke-bug.” I kissed his soft, chubby cheek and hugged him close. The kids made dealing with their mother bearable.
Wendy sat at the kitchen table, patting the back of the baby she held to her shoulder. Never sparing me a glance, she looked forlornly out the window. I pitied her. Wendy would never be happy, she’d never know what I’d found. And it wasn’t for lack of trying on Aiden’s part.
Aiden bent and took the baby from her. There was a sadness in his eyes. Until he looked down at the baby in his arms that drifted off to sleep. “There’s my girl,” he whispered to her.
Jordan’s fingertips rested against the small of my back, steadying me. Regardless of my sister’s antics, this was my family too. They always would be.
“Da—ee!” Luke squealed.
“Yup, that’s him.” I leaned in to place a kiss on my brother’s cheek. “You ready?”
When Wendy abruptly stood and snatched her purse, we were all caught off guard. “I forgot something at the house. I’ll meet you at the track.”
Aiden watched her leave, without trying to stop her.
“What was that about?” Jordan leaned a hip against the kitchen counter beside my dad.
“Man, I can’t keep up anymore. I probably didn’t say good morning in the right tone of voice or notice the new shade of nail polish on her big toe.” Aiden rolled his eyes for emphasis.
“Maybe it’s the hair?” I tucked a strand behind his ear, marveling that it had grown that long so quickly.
“Oh yeah, she hates the hair.”
“Does it matter what she thinks of it?” Jordan opened the soda my dad handed him.
Aiden’s unhappiness was obvious. But there was something else I had missed. I saw it now when he looked at his daughter then tweaked his son’s nose. The spark that made my brother who he was had been missing for a long time. But, it was there again, starting to shine beneath the surface.
Mentally I cheered. I’d never want a relationship or marriage to fail, but I truly believed this one was doomed from the beginning. Wendy wasn’t made to be a mother or a wife. Aiden and the babies deserved better.
When I put my toddler nephew down, he teetered over to my dad, who tweaked his nose just as Aiden had.
“Every morning I wake up and the first thing I do is check to see if it’s the morning she’s finally left.” Aiden lacked any real emotion when he said it, as if he’d already given up.
“Oh, Aiden.” My mom sighed as she appeared in the doorway from the living room. She kissed my brother’s head before scooping the baby from his arms.
“Good luck, be safe,” she called after us as we left, her gaze settling on Jordan. The look of love in my mom’s eyes as she waved goodbye to us said he was as much hers as her own children. He always would be. From the gentle smile on his face, I figured he knew.
The four of us crammed into Jordan’s truck on the way to the track. There was one critical piece of our life, our family, missing.
“Has anyone heard from Devin?” I looked from one to the other, getting nothing in response. Jordan’s face was stone, though not in anger. It was the mask he wore when he didn’t want anyone, even me, to know what he was thinking. I’d seen it in the shop earlier, when he’d said he didn’t regret our relationship.
“Last I talked to him—” Vic took a drag off a cigarette. “He said he had Joe Hance tuning on his car for him.”
Jordan flinched, before narrowing his eyes. He hadn’t been a fan of Hance for as long as I could remember.
“Wait, wasn’t it Hance that used to beat the crap out of Devin?” I chewed on my bottom lip. Hance had always been something of a bully.
“Yup.” Aiden sneered. “Jordan put a stop to it. Devin’s being a dick about this.”
Jordan shrugged, as if it was no big deal, successfully ending that line of conversation. Nobody dared push him.
We didn’t talk about it again, as we were soon in line at the track gates. I’d forgotten how popular the weekend of SKS was. Throngs of people already gathered inside the track. Through the gate, the throng parted to let us through. Jordan easily guided the truck and open car hauler through the people, cars, trucks, and trailers.
The excitement in the air was electric. It wasn’t often just anyone could watch the Kings of the Street go at it.
I helped Vic unload the Malibu while Aiden and Jordan went to the drivers’ meeting. The electric sizzle around us was infectious. We moved in a hurried rhythm. Vic’s smile bright and genuine for the first time since we’d left my house.
The crowd thinned, spectators finding their seats or positions along the start line. Around me the roar of high revving, high priced race engines sang to the beat of my heart. Through the barely controlled chaos, a tall familiar form made his way toward us.
Jordan’s eyes were alive with the calm before the storm. Behind his calculated demeanor was a driver ready to run, a guy with race fuel in his veins who would accept nothing short of winning.
“We’re staging now,” he said more to Vic than me. The noise level was so loud we hadn’t be
en able to hear the call over the loud speakers.
I prepped Jordan’s chutes while the guys did everything else. I’d done these a thousand times, for my dad, for Aiden, and even for Jordan.
“So, your lady isn’t around just to look pretty, I take it?” The voice was unfamiliar, not surprising considering Street King Showdown brought in all kinds. In an area where street racing was a way of life, every no-prep, grudge racer wanted to pit themselves against the best we had to offer. And that was Jordan.
At first Jordan didn’t respond, he tilted his chin up and cut his eyes at the intruder beneath the rim of his hat. The newcomer was tall and thin. Jordan unfolded himself from the crouch he’d been in, making the guy look downright scrawny. Jordan had him by a few inches in height and triple that in the width of his shoulders.
This guy had balls, as he didn’t seem the least bit concerned.
I didn’t like it. Not that I worried about Jordan, I’d say he had the advantage on the track and in a fight. Something about this guy made me uneasy.
“Eric Marshall.” The scrawny-ballsy guy stuck his hand out. Jordan didn’t immediately shake it. “I had to come over and meet the myth that is Jordan Slater.”
“You’ve done that.”
“Yeah, I was more impressed with the girl.”
Jordan snarled, but Aiden stepped in between them quickly. I’d seen Eric Marshall’s type before, being the sort of guy to stir up trouble wasn’t enough. He wanted to do it and get noticed too.
Ambitious as well as being a jerk.
It seemed like he was trying to use Jordan to make a name for himself in the racing scene. “Big guy’s got a temper.” Eric Marshall laughed. “Better shelve it before you line up beside me!”
“Grab a lane, bitch, anytime…anywhere.” Anger rolled off Jordan in violent waves.
“Oh, I will, soon enough.”
“And he’ll smoke your ass. You’ll still be a nobody, who has to introduce himself with both names.” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. Jordan wasn’t the only person Eric Marshall had pissed off.
“Step off.” Vic was with us now, too. “We’ll line up soon enough.”