by Chloe Walsh
Sliding off the arm of the chair, I followed Liam down the hallway of their bungalow, stopping when we reached the last door at the end of the hall on the right.
When I stepped foot in his bedroom, years worth of memories bombarded me. I had spent most of my life in this room. It had been a sanctuary for me after Mom died.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Liam asked when he sank down on his bed.
The same bed I’d given my first blowjob in.
He patted the mattress, beckoning me. “Come on, Teegs. You look like you’ve gone ten rounds with Tyson.”
I stifled the scream that was forcing its way up my throat at the thought of rounds and rings and fucking fighters.
“I don’t think I can,” I admitted, flopping down on the bed next him. “Talk about it, that is,” I reiterated. “Everything is so screwed up, Liam.” Throwing myself back, I lay motionless, looking up at the ceiling. “I’m in so much trouble.”
Liam leaned back and rested on his elbows before letting out a heavy sigh. “I’m guessing a fella is behind this.”
I turned my face to look at him. “What makes you think that?” He was right. One hundred percent. But I wasn’t about to tell him that. “Well?”
Now Liam was the one to flop onto his back. “Because you’ve been puking your guts out in the bathroom for the past hour.” Liam closed his eyes and I watched as a vein ticked in his neck. “How far gone are you?”
“What?” I rolled my eyes in disgust, ignoring the nervous flutter in the pit of my stomach. “You think I’m pregnant?”
He blinked rapidly. “You’re not?”
“Liam, I’m nursing a broken heart,” I choked out, “not a fucking baby.” There was no way in hell Noah Messina had knocked me up. I refused to believe that the period I had been waiting on to arrive for the last ten days was down to anything other than stress.
“Oh.” Liam seemed to consider this for a moment. “Is your friend pregnant?”
“Seriously?” Jerking off the bed, I turned to glare at my former flame. If he could just stop talking about babies for one freaking minute. “No one is pregnant, Liam. Jesus!”
“I’m sorry, alright.” He held his hands up in defense. “I just presumed…”
“I caught my boyfriend cheating on me with the school slut, okay?” I hissed angrily. “And now he’s going to prison for almost killing a man at an illegal fighting ring.”
Liam’s cheeks reddened and his mouth fell open. “The next-door neighbor?” he asked, winning major brownie points for remembering the emails I had sent him last year. “The tattooed fighter guy – what was his name again?”
“Noah,” I whispered, nodding, feeling physical pain when I spoke his name.
Liam opened his mouth to say something, but his bedroom door swung inwards, causing him to pause.
We both turned our heads to look at Hope.
“That was my dad,” she announced, sliding her phone into her jeans pocket. Her face was pale and her eyes were bloodshot as she leaned against the doorframe. “He’s at the airport.”
“What?” I deadpanned. “In the states?”
“In Shannon, but it doesn’t matter because I am not going back.”
“Hope, be realistic,” I mumbled. I felt like weeping. Kyle was in Ireland and he was going to kill me, and then he was going to take Hope away.
I secretly wondered if he could also take my memories?
The man was a millionaire, surely he knew people that could open my brain and toss Noah Messina out?
“I am,” Hope shot back. “I am not going back there, Teagan, and the only way my father is going to make me is if he takes me home in a body bag.”
MY MOTHER WAS SCHIZOPHRENIC and in some small part of my mind – the part I tried not to listen to – I was afraid that what had happened to her would eventually happen to me.
It wasn’t my mother’s fault.
Her illness just was, and I understood that, but I was afraid of becoming her.
No, screw that. I was fucking petrified.
And even though her drug habit was the reason I had been dragged into the underground, I couldn’t hate her.
She had never been much of a mother to me – not really. What I felt for her was more pity than love because in truth, since I was fifteen years old, Lee Carter had been more of a mother to me than my own ever had. She had been there for me, cleaning my cuts and broken bones, and driving me to the hospital whenever I had come close to bleeding out.
Out of all the people to arrive at the jail, I should have known it would be Lee.
I felt like shit – like I’d let her down. I was scum, I always knew it, but now Lee did too and that filled me with shame.
I watched Kyle’s wife like a hawk as an officer ushered her into the room I was being held in.
“Oh Noah,” Lee whispered when we were alone.
Lowering herself into the chair opposite me, she reached across the table and covered my hand with both of hers. The feel of her skin on mine was almost my undoing and I had to look away and clench my jaw shut to stop myself from crying like a pussy. “I’m sorry,” I managed to squeeze out, looking anywhere but her direction. “For fucking up my bail,” I added, “I’ll pay Kyle back…someday.”
“Forget about the money,” Lee drawled in her soft southern accent. “I don’t care about it and neither does Kyle. We care about you.”
“Why?” The question was laced with sarcasm and out of my mouth before I could think.
“Because we love you,” Lee replied quickly and without an ounce of hesitation. “You’re like a son to me and to Kyle,” she told me. “We want to help you.”
“Except I’m not his son, am I?” I tossed out, clenching my jaw again. “I’m his fucking brother.”
“True,” Lee shot back, not missing a beat. “All the more reason to let us help you. Noah, look at me. Please.”
Inhaling a sharp breath, I looked at her. The warmth and motherly love I saw in her eyes touched something deep inside me. “We know about Max Jones pressing charges on you for breaking and entering and grand theft auto.”
“Yeah.” I let out a heavy sigh. Teagan’s uncle loved this. “Asshole couldn’t wait to press charges.”
“Kyle has arranged the best defense attorney in the state to fight in your corner,” Lee told me. “They’ve already made a bargain plea on your behalf, and the prosecution has accepted – bringing your sentence from twelve years down to five and a half.”
I had always known I was going to do time.
I had done it, committed the crimes. I pulverized Gerome Javi to within an inch of his life. I broke into Max Jone’s house. I stole Teagan’s car.
It was all on me.
In a sick way, I had spent my entire life preparing for this moment. It was fucking inevitable. I had been living on the edge for so long; a pawn in a gangster’s world, that in one sense it was a relief.
But I was only eighteen; five and half years behind bars was a lifetime to me.
Leaning forward, Lee squeezed my hand, as she said, “Don’t give up hope, sweetheart.” Her big gray eyes were full of unshed tears. “Five years isn’t forever. I promise you that. You’ll get through this, Noah.”
“Teagan’s gone,” I groaned, addressing the only thing that mattered to me. Jerking my hand away from her, I bowed my head when my voice cracked. “She fucking bailed on me, Lee.” I closed my eyes, forcing the dampness to remain behind my eyelids.
Twisting around in my chair in real, honest-to-god physical fucking agony, I fought the urge to lose my shit. Something was breaking inside of me and I was losing myself in the process. “The girl I love more than every damn soul on this planet thinks I fucked her over. And worse, she thinks I invited her to watch it unfold!” My brain was like a fucking broken projector, tormenting me with image after image of my girlfriend’s heartbroken expression when she climbed into that cab.
“Noah,” Lee whispered in a worried tone of voice. �
��What on earth are you talking about? What do you mean ‘she thinks you invited her to watch it unfold’?”
“It doesn’t matter, Lee,” I choked out. “Not anymore.” Resting my elbows on the table, I dropped my head in my hands, tugging at the ends of my hair in agitation. “I’m here and she’s…gone.” Teagan was the most frustratingly stubborn girl I’d ever met. I didn’t want to think about what she thought of me now. “Teagan doesn’t trust easily – it took me months to earn it. And even if I get the chance to see her and explain, she’ll think the worst of me.” She always does…
“Talk to me, Noah,” she begged. “I can help you.”
How could I explain what Reese did to me that night with a straight face?
Who the hell was going to believe a skinny little thing like Reese could force me into anything?
The cop I told sure as hell didn’t. Asshole broke his sides laughing when I tried to explain what she had done to me that night. His reaction had told me all I needed to know, so I kept my mouth shut from that point on.
The officer arrived back into the room then, letting us know visiting time was over.
Pushing her chair back, Lee got to her feet and, with a determined look on her face, she said, “I’m going to help you, Noah Messina. Not because you’re my husband’s brother, or my children’s friend. I’m going to help you because you deserve to be helped. You deserve better than the life you’ve been forced into. Have faith,” she added before she was led from the room.
KYLE CARTER WAS LIKE A HURRICANE, I decided as I watched him pace the Harte’s kitchen floor, dominating the room and causing the air to crackle with electricity.
To be honest, my heart went out to Sheila as she pottered uneasily around the two huge American men in her kitchen, offering tea and brown cake – a typical Irish mammy.
The attractive blonde haired man who had arrived with Teagan’s father was unfamiliar to me, but Hope called him Uncle Mike.
Apparently, he was another one of Hope’s grandfather’s offspring, though he was the one that had been claimed and carried the surname Henderson.
From what I could gather, Mike Henderson lived in London, and was due to fly back to the states to discuss the newest member of the family when Kyle told him to meet him at Shannon.
“This is bullshit, Hope,” Mr. Carter all but roared, pulling at his tie and then ruffling his hair with his free hand. “You’re not staying here. I forbid it… oh thank you, Sheila,” he added, taking a tiny china teacup from Liam’s mother.
Sheila blushed scarlet red before excusing herself from the kitchen, leaving us alone with Mr. Carter and his brother.
“You can’t forbid me to do anything, Dad, I’m eighteen,” Hope reminded him as she leaned against the doorframe. “And you can’t force me to do anything either.” She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at her father. “I’m not Mom.”
That comment earned a chuckle from the uncle, who was much calmer than his brother.
“Help me out here, Mike,” Mr. Carter begged, clearly distraught.
“Technically, she’s right, brother,” Mike announced, clapping him on the shoulder. “Hope is legally an adult.”
Mr. Carter growled, shrugging Mike’s hand off to resume his pacing. “I knew I should have brought Derek. You’re fucking useless to me.”
Mike grunted and Hope screamed.
“Don’t you dare,” she snapped, eyes wide and glowing with anger. “Keep anyone with the last name Porter far away from me.”
“Good girl,” Mike chimed in. “Those Porters are bad news.”
“Shut the hell up, douche,” Mr. Carter grumbled, glaring at his brother before turning his attention to his daughter. “What the hell did that little shit do to you?”
Hope’s cheeks turned bright pink. “Nothing.”
“And what about your mother?” he accused, hands on his trim hips, as he towered over her. “Do you think Mom needs this kind of stress in her life; especially considering the circumstances.”
Hope narrowed her eyes. “What circumstances?”
“Well…” he muttered, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. His cheeks reddened as he started to backtrack. “I didn’t want you to find out like this.”
“Find out about what, Dad?” Hope asked. The blood seemed to drain from her face and she roared, “Tell me you didn’t!”
“I did,” her father muttered with a grin, causing Hope to scream. “Mom’s pregnant.”
“Again?” Mike chuckled, patting his brother on the shoulder. “Congratulations, man.”
“Thanks,” Kyle replied proudly, “She is three months.” Turning his attention to his daughter, he said, “We wanted to sit all the kids down and tell them together.”
“Ugh, you complete freak,” she wailed, holding her head with her hands in sheer dismay. “You guys are too old to be parents again,” she groaned. “This is sick.”
“I’m forty-one, Hope,” Kyle shot back, wounded. “Your mother’s only thirty-eight. We’re hardly over the hill.”
“You need to be sterilized!” Hope retorted angrily. “How many this time?” she added sarcastically. “Because we all know you don’t shoot singles, Dad.”
A laugh escaped my mouth and I had to smother it with a cough.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, covering my mouth with my hand when she glared at me. There was no way I was getting on Hope’s bad side, not while she was in this mood.
“Angel. Just come home with me,” her father said with a sudden vulnerability in his voice – a vulnerability that made Hope flinch. “And I promise you that I will fix everything. Just come home. Please,” he added in a desperate tone.
“I can’t go back there, Dad,” she whispered. Her eyes welled up with tears. “Please understand.”
Kyle Carter stared at his daughter for what felt like forever before turning his attention to me. “What about you, Blondie?”
I swallowed deeply. “What about me?”
“You’re just gonna leave the kid to rot?” he demanded, and the accusatory tone in his voice caused my hackles to rise. “After all he’s been through?”
“No offense, Mr. Carter,” I seethed, grinding my teeth. “But what I do with my life is absolutely none of your business.”
“Noah’s my brother,” he declared proudly. “The kid loves you, Teagan. He’s going out of his mind worrying about you.”
“Then you take care of him,” I hissed, forcing myself not to flinch. “He’s not my problem anymore.” Not since he stuck his dick in Reese fucking Tanner. I forced down the bile that was threatening to spill out of me. “And you can tell your brother that I am done!”
Noah didn’t love me.
He didn’t give a damn about me.
If he did, he wouldn’t have thrown everything we had away for a quick fuck.
“So it’s like that?” Mr. Carter asked in a tone laced with disgust. “You’re just going to carry on with your life and pretend your boyfriend isn’t sitting in a jail cell right now?” He shook his head and shrugged. “I thought you were made of tougher stuff than to run at the first hurdle.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I managed to choke out, feeling winded and completely broken. “I am protecting myself, Mr. Carter, from getting even more hurt than I’ve already been. So stop trying to make me feel bad for doing nothing wrong.”
He shook his head in defeat. “You’re making a mistake, Teagan,” he told me wearily. “I may not know the ins and outs of what happened between you two, but if you loved the boy you would be standing by him now and not hiding out here like a coward.”
“You’re right about one thing, Mr. Carter. You don’t know a damn thing about me!” I hissed before stalking out of the room. Stopping in the doorway, I turned and glared back at him. “You don’t know what happened between us but if you go and ask Reese Tanner, I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to tell you everything.”
Swinging around, I bolted from the kitchen and didn’t stop moving until I was in
side Liam’s room.
Slamming the door shut, I rushed over and threw myself down on the bed. Tears burned behind my eyelids, but I refused to let them fall.
What if I’m wrong about Noah? The niggling voice inside my head asked, but I shut that bitch up swiftly.
It wasn’t true.
They were making a fool out of me.
Aside from the fact that Noah had slept with Reese, he had also lied to me. He left me that night to go to the quarry.
I gave up everything for him and he threw it all away for a fight and a fuck.
Memories flooded me, visions of us on the flat screen TV fucking in the elevator – of Noah taking away my innocence.
I was such a fool.
For all I knew, he and Ellie had planned this whole thing – making me fall in love with him just so that he could break me and then kick me when I was down.
A sudden pain, intense and throbbing, hit me directly in my lower belly and I had to dive across the hallway for the bathroom. When I saw the blood tinged stain on my underwear I laughed and cried simultaneously.
All that worrying had been for nothing. All those sleepless nights that had been filled with anxiety and fear about the future had been pointless. Stress had been the reason for my late period. I wasn’t pregnant, and that was that. There would be no unfinished business between us. No messy confrontations or reluctant phone call in nine months.
Noah was really gone from me.
Cleaning myself up, I went back to Liam’s room and, curling up in a ball on his bed, I let my mind drift back to that night…
Climbing Noah’s staircase, I walked straight to his bedroom and knocked lightly before twisting the knob and pushing the door inwards.
My heart dropped the moment I saw him lying there.
My stomach churned and pained cry tore my throat.
Skin – naked skin –limbs and long red hair invaded my vision.
That’s all I could see.
The blood rushed to my brain so fast everything became cloudy, and when I was eventually able to focus, the image that laid before me caused my stomach to churn.
Noah and Reese fucking like rabbits, right in front of my eyes.