by Chloe Walsh
Suddenly all the fight was gone from me. Dragging my mattress back onto the bunk, I sank down on the edge and let out a heavy sigh. “Blonde.”
Lucky chuckled. “Thought so.” Swinging his legs off the top bunk, he jumped down and sat down beside me. “Brunettes make you lose your head,” he went on to say, offering me a smoke first and then a light when I accepted. “Reds break your bed.” He inhaled a deep drag of his cigarette before exhaling a large cloud of smoke. “But blondes? Blondes land your ass in a place like this.” Lucky shook his head. “Blondes steal your soul, Messina.”
I grunted in response, taking a deep drag. “You get fucked over by a blonde or something, Lucky?” Flicking my ash on the floor, I rubbed my boot on it, smudging it away.
“Something like that,” he responded, eyes darkening, as he stared straight ahead.
“SAY THAT AGAIN?” I ASKED Hope – begged. “Please, just say it again, and tell me you’re not joking.”
“George Dennis is dead, Teegs,” she repeated. “He had a stroke last month and didn’t pull through. Apparently Dad forgot to mention it. You know, with all the baby preparations and all,” she shuddered.
I sank down on the bed with a thud and just sat there for a moment, taking it all in.
My first thought was Noah.
“Thank god,” I finally whispered, when my voice found me. Relief flooded my body, dominant, pungent and incredibly welcoming.
He was safe now.
He was free from their clutches.
The big bad wolf was dead.
Looking up at my best friend, I noticed the tears shining in her eyes and realized that this was affecting her too. Noah was her uncle after all, and she cared about him.
“He’s free now,” I managed to choke out, wrapping my arms around my stomach. “They can’t control him anymore.”
“I know,” she replied, sitting down on the bed next to me. “And so are you.”
“What do you mean so am I?” I asked, twisting my face to gape at her.
“Haven’t you been worried about them, you know, coming after you?” she asked, squirming uncomfortably.
“No,” I gasped, jumping off the bed to pace the bedroom floor. “But I am now!”
“It’s fine, Teegs,” she coaxed, climbing to her feet to follow after me. “The ring of fire is gone. Problem solved.” Grabbing my shoulders, she forced me to stand still and look at her. “No one is going to come looking for you,” she said. “George is dead, Teegs, dead; as in vamoose, poof, no more. It’s over.”
“But his son isn’t dead.” Fear clawed at my gut as I thought about Noah’s evil stepbrother chasing us down that night, causing us to crash. He was a bad man – worse than his father ever was.
Oh god, I didn’t want to think about J.D Dennis being out there – anywhere on this planet was too close for comfort. I didn’t want to believe it, but what if he was waiting for us. Waiting to seek his revenge. Was I living on borrowed time?
Clutching her arms tightly, I whispered, “J.D wasn’t arrested that night, Hope. What if he’s out there somewhere…waiting?”
“He is not going to ever come looking for you,” Hope assured me. “My father has one of the best private investigators in the country out hunting that prick down,” she added, “and that’s not to mention the police and his own enemies.”
“He does?” I never knew that. “Wow, I’m liking your dad a little more now, Hope.”
“You are nothing to J.D,” she told me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. “Just a kid. Another blonde. That’s all.”
“Gee, thanks,” I muttered.
Laughing, Hope led us over to the bed before sitting down. “What I mean is J.D would never risk coming out of hiding just to get revenge on Noah. It would be insanity of the highest order,” she added after a pause.
“Do you really believe that?” I asked quietly, sinking down beside her.
“Absolutely.” Hope nodded. “My guess is J.D is somewhere far away, skulking and hiding from the cops and the gangs he messed around with.”
“Yeah…” I whispered, letting her words sink in. “I guess you’re right.”
“I’m always right,” she shot back with a grin. “Besides, do you honestly think Gonzalez and his men are going to go down without their pound of flesh? Hell, no! They will chase that little turd to the ends of the earth.”
“Oh my fucking god,” I groaned, as Gonzalez’s face entered my mind. “I totally forgot about yellow teeth.” Gonzalez had escaped arrest that night, but from what I had heard, George sold out several members of Gonzalez’s men to save his own ass.
“Before you get your panties in a twist, Gonzalez never had an issue with Noah,” Hope declared. “There’s no beef there, so you have nothing to be worried about.”
Hope was right about that. In that weird gangster way, Gonzalez had always been sort of fond of Noah. Me, not so much, but he always had a soft spot for Noah.
“Noah’s fine,” she continued to say. “You are fine. Everyone is fucking fine. I promise.” Jumping to her feet, she stretched and said, “Now stop freaking out because I’m getting a little antsy just watching you. Let’s go get something to eat. I’m freaking starving.”
“Fine,” I replied, standing up and following her out of room. But I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that J.D wasn’t finished with us.
Not by a long shot.
I HAD ONLY VISITED MY FATHER a handful of times since mom’s funeral.
The last time I saw him was over a year ago, when Uncle Max took me to visit him in prison before we left for the states. Back then, he was a broken mess, and in some ways I had felt incredibly sorry him; but a huge chunk of me felt it was only fair he still suffered.
After all, he was the one who decided to take the risk and drive under the influence. He was the one who’d taken my mother away from me. I couldn’t get over that part, and a four-year prison sentence wouldn’t bring my mom back.
Sitting here now in the middle of a crowded cafe and looking at the shaken man before me, it was clear that he was still the same.
“I’ve missed you, Teagan,” my father told me, voice slurred. My father had been released from prison last week, and already I regretted accepting his invitation to meet up.
His thinning grey hair was disheveled. His eyes were blood shot, and the stench of alcohol wafting off him was so strong that it was making me feel lightheaded.
I guess it was clear that some things never changed.
“How have you been?” he added, reaching over to take my hand.
“Fine,” I replied coolly, pulling my hand away from his. I didn’t want his touch, and he had no right to expect anything from me. Not after what he did. “You?”
“You know me,” Dad chuckled. “I’m the same as always.”
“Yeah,” I ground out, fiddling with a paper sachet of sugar. “It sure smells that way.”
“I’m quitting,” he told me. “I just…needed a little something to get me through today. Dutch courage.”
“You’re always quitting, Dad,” I shot back, both disappointed and unsurprised. “Until you don’t.”
“That’s not fair,” he muttered, his pale, mottled skin turning an even whiter shade of death. “I’ve been through hell and back.”
“And I haven’t?” Straightening in my chair, I dropped the teaspoon I had been using to stir my coffee and glared at the pathetic creature opposite me. “What do you want from me, Dad?” I asked him coldly. “Why did you want to meet up?”
“I’m going away,” Dad managed to slur before burping loudly. “Back to Galway.”
“And?” I folded my arms across my chest and stared impassively at him. “You’re telling me this because?”
“I thought you would want to come with me?”
“No thanks,” I snorted in disgust. “Is that all?”
“I thought you’d be happy to see me.” Dad shook his head as if he couldn’t quite understand my coldness towards him. �
��Teagan, I’m your father and I…”
“You haven’t been my father since I was fourteen years old,” I snapped, furious at the audacity of this man. “You killed my mother – you almost killed me! You weren’t there for me when I needed a father, and I sure as hell don’t need you now.” Throwing my chair back, I grabbed my bag and stood up. “Have a nice life, Patrick.”
I RAN ALL THE WAY HOME as fast as I could, desperate to rid my body of the rage churning inside.
What the hell did my father expect me to do?
Drop everything to go home with him and live in an unstable environment again?
Did he honestly think I could forget about what he’d done?
Maybe I was a heartless bitch, but I couldn’t forget it, and I knew in my heart and soul that I would never let it go.
I would never forgive him.
When I got back to the apartment and saw who was sitting on our couch next to Hope, I could have cried. Like big, fat, raindrop sized tears.
“I’m not in the mood for you,” I warned him, closing the flat door behind me. “I’m having a really bad day, so if you could refrain from the insults, I’d appreciate it,” I added, moving towards the kitchen to get a glass of water.
Mr. Carter stood up and seemed to dominate the room with his presence alone. “Nice to see you too, Teagan,” he acknowledged coolly.
“Sure it is.” I rolled my eyes and fought the urge to poke my tongue out at him. Kyle didn’t like me, and he didn’t hide it well. He tried to be civil for the sake of his daughter, but I was fairly certain he thought about throttling me on more than one occasion. We tended to stay out of one another’s way whenever he visited. I was still struggling to get past the crap he’d spewed that night he arrived at the Harte’s home, and Mr. Carter? Well, I guess I was big fat reminder of why his daughter was living abroad.
Turning his attention back to Hope, Kyle asked, “Have you thought any more about coming home for Christmas?”
She shook her head and sighed wearily. “We’ve already talked about this, Dad. I’m staying here with Teegs.”
“I know,” Mr. Carter grumbled. “But Christmas is a time for being with your family. And the twins haven’t met their big sister.”
“How are the little guys?” Hope gushed and I couldn’t help but smirk. She had been dead set against her parents having another child, but when her twin baby brothers were born three months ago, she had gone straight out and gotten a picture of them blown up. That photograph was now pride of place on the wall in our lounge.
“They’d be a lot better if they met their sister,” Kyle grumbled. His gaze flickered to me and I reddened in embarrassment. I could feel the anger radiating off him in waves – directed towards me.
“Hey, don’t look at me like that,” I found myself saying, dropping my glass in the sink before holding my hands up in defense. “You can blame Jordan ‘the dickhead’ Porter for this.”
Mr. Carter’s brows shot up in surprise and then he did something I didn’t expect him to.
He actually cracked a smile.
“Jordan the dickhead Porter,” he snickered, “I knew there was a reason I liked you, Blondie.”
Having Kyle Carter actually compliment me was a strange feeling. I wasn’t stupid though. I knew full well the only reason he wasn’t throwing jibes or snotty comments at me was because we shared a hatred for Jordan Porter.
Hope’s ex boyfriend was number one on Kyle’s shit list.
I was a close second.
“Thanks…I think?” I replied uncomfortably before returning my attention to making a sandwich.
“How long are you staying this time, Dad?” Hope asked, and I was as eager to know the answer to that particular question as she was.
Kyle checked his watch and sighed. “I fly out later on this evening.”
“Oh, that soon?” I piped up, sarcasm evident in my voice
Purposefully ignoring my comment, he focused on Hope. Pacing around the sitting room area, he began to speak. “Your brother called me earlier,” I heard him say in a hushed tone, “Logan’s worried about Noah’s frame of mind. He declined his visit – again.”
That was where I checked out.
Leaving them to talk about Noah, I left my untouched sandwich on the countertop and headed in the direction of the short hallway towards my bedroom.
I couldn’t listen to this.
I couldn’t deal with him.
“You should hear this too, Teagan,” Kyle called out, stopping me in my tracks. “Oh wait, I forgot, you don’t give two shits about Noah anymore.”
See, this was exactly why I didn’t stick around when Hope’s father visited.
He held a grudge against me.
“I’m not doing this again,” I warned him. “I’ve told you a million times, what goes on with Noah is none of my business.”
“Hope told me what you saw that night; what you think you saw,” he countered steadily. “But I’d bet every dime I have that you’re wrong.”
I froze, unblinking, as I registered what Kyle had just said to me. “Are you calling me a liar, Mr. Carter?”
Kyle folded his arms across his chest and shook his head. “No, Teagan, I’m not calling you a liar. I’m telling you that you are wrong about him.”
“Dad, shut the hell up,” Hope snapped, her voice a tone of pure disgust, as she leapt off the couch and stood in front of her father. “Don’t do this to her. She’s been through enough already.”
“She needs to hear this, Hope,” her father replied evenly. “Lee went to see him before the sentencing – before he banned everyone who cares about him from the fucking prison – and the kid was a total mess.” Straightening his spine, Kyle looked over Hope’s head and directly into my eyes. “My guess is that somehow that Tanner girl played you both, and you fell for it hook, line and sinker.”
A wave of hysteria burst to the surface, causing me to laugh humorously. “Are you trying to ruin my life?” I demanded, delirious with a raging mixture of rage and heartbreak.
My whole body shook violently.
I couldn’t seem to stop.
“It takes two to tango, Kyle, and from what I remember, Noah was more than a willing participant,” I snarled, refusing to believe the bullshit dripping from his mouth. “He fucked her. Right in front of me.”
“I know how it looks, Teagan,” Kyle shot back heatedly. “I know how it sounds too, but come on. That’s not Noah. You know him. He wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Why are you doing this to me?” I whispered, paling. “It’s been nine months. Why bring all of this up again?”
“Look,” Kyle sighed, rubbing his face with his hand. “I’m not intentionally trying to upset you here. But if you could just visit the guy…talk to him.”
“No,” I refused, backing all the way down the short hallway to my bedroom. “I won’t do it.”
As soon as the door was closed behind me, I threw myself down on my bed and cried like a baby.
LATER ON, WHEN MR. CARTER had left for his flight, Hope came into my room.
“I’m not going to ask you if you’re okay,” she told me, coming to sit on the edge of my bed. “Because that’s a stupid question when it’s obvious that you’re not.” Stroking my head, Hope sighed heavily. “I’m so sorry about my dad, Teegs.”
Leaping off my bed, I began to pace. I couldn’t sit still and take her pity. I couldn’t fucking sit on this pain. Swinging around to face Hope, I begged, “Please tell me I did the right thing.”
I closed my eyes and fought back the voice inside of me telling me that I had been wrong about him. I never wanted to break away from my life more than I did in this moment.
Was it pity making me feel like I was wrong?
Wrong for jumping to conclusions without hearing him out?
Was I a huge fool for even contemplating that my eyes had deceived me?
I was so confused.
“Tell me I didn’t misjudge the situation,” I blurted o
ut, unable to handle the emotions churning inside of me. “Please, Hope, tell me your dad is wrong.”
“I don’t know, Teagan,” she groaned. Climbing to her feet, she walked over to my bedroom window and looked out through the curtains. “I want to believe you misjudged him,” she told me after a long pause. “My heart is telling me you did…”
“But?” I offered, sensing there was a very big but to come.
“It’s just too shady,” she admitted. Swinging around to face me, Hope scrunched her nose up. “You saw him and Reese with your own two eyes, and it’s not like they haven’t been together many times before.”
“Exactly,” I exclaimed wearily. “I saw them. I didn’t make it up.” Even though I wished I had.
Hope sighed. “Look, I’ve known Jordan my entire life,” she told me. “And if he could do what he did to me, butcher my heart and betray me, then I’m sorry, Teagan, but I’m not holding out much hope the rest of the male population.”
“Yeah,” I whispered, taking in her words, feeling my heart break all over again. “Neither am I.”
LIGHTS OUT HAD BEEN HOURS AGO, and I had been lying in the darkness ever since, listening to the noise coming from the cells on either side of ours. The assholes on our left were arguing over a missing pack of cigarettes. The ones on our right were fighting because they could; because there was nothing else to do in this place.
I remained perfectly still on my bunk, quiet as a mouse, as I racked my brain and tried to come up with a plan that wouldn’t get me killed in this place. I’d been challenged to a fight this morning. I refused.
Now, I was biding my time, trying to figure out how the fuck I wouldn’t have to use my fists in this place. I was surrounded by assholes, many of which knew my background as a street fighter. That made them curious. It made them want to take me down a peg or two. I wasn’t afraid of any dick in this place, but I didn’t want the trouble. I was fucking weary.
“What was she like, Messina?” Lucky asked, breaking the eerie silence, and the question threw me. I had thought the guy was asleep.