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Undeniable
A Delta Force Heroes & Unacceptables MC Crossover
Kristen Hope Mazzola
Dedication
To the one person that saved me from myself when I didn’t even know I needed it.
Thank you for ripping the rosed colored glasses off my face.
I miss you.
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Epilogue
Did you enjoy what you just read?
Want more of the Unacceptables?
Unacceptable
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
All books by Kristen Hope Mazzola
Acknowledgments
Note From the Author
About the Author
Chapter 1
Ryan
I kicked at the gravel next to the front tire of my brother’s beat-up white Bronco, the hot summer sun making the black suit I’d been forced to wear that much more uncomfortable. I tugged at the knot of the tie, ripped off the jacket, and yelled at the top of my lungs. No one was around to witness my tantrum, but I wouldn’t have given a fuck if anyone had seen it. Everyone and anyone could go fuck themselves for all I cared at that point.
Standing in the middle of the driveway, I knew the actions that had to be taken, but I had no idea how to even put one foot in front of the other. “Fuck, man,” I cussed under my breath. “Why’d you have to die?”
I wasn’t mad at Cameron for leaving, joining the Marines, or even for getting blown up; I was fucking pissed that he’d been taken from us. I was angry that my mother was ripped apart, that my father could barely look me in the eye, that everyone felt sorry for me and my family. I was irritated that I was dealing with all of the bullshit and then missing my big brother at the same time. At nineteen, you’re just not ready to have to bury your older brother; I guess no one is ever really ready for that shit though.
When I hopped into the dusty driver’s seat, the old springs complained under me. I took in a deep breath of the musty smell as I let my imagination get the better of me. I conjured up our conversation as I drove down the dirt road from my house to the funeral home.
“Easy on the gas with ’em sharp turns, Ry. Her suspension doesn’t like ’em.” My brother would have teased me as I hugged the shoulder turning right past the Lewis plantation.
“Yeah, yeah, I remember. You should have done the airbag lift like I said, not a body lift. You stubborn asshole,” I mumbled under my breath. I knew it was crazy, but talking out loud to him made me feel better, made him feel less gone. “You know I’m going to have to finish what you started.”
“Ryan, you know it would break mom’s heart if she got two folded flags. One is enough for a lifetime. Just let sleeping dogs lie.” He would have put his hand on my shoulder and pleaded with me. He would have called me an idiot, yelled in my face. I knew that even though he’d wanted nothing more than to defend our country, he had wanted me as far away from war as possible; he made sure to tell me so over and over while I was growing up. Every male member of our family had served in one or multiple branches of the military, but Cameron was steadfast in making me go to college and break the mold.
“You’re destined to be something so much more. Become a doctor. Become a teacher. Fuck, open a restaurant or write a damn book. Travel the world.” I could hear him rattling off as many different professions as he could think of while trying his damnedest to convince me that signing my life away on that dotted line did not have to be my destiny.
“I can’t fucking do that, brother. I’m sorry.” I cursed the tears that welled up in my eyes.
“Better get those out now,” I could hear Cameron reminding me. “Axston men don’t cry. Dad would have your ass if he saw you right now.”
That bitter old man wasn’t going to be winning any father of the year awards any time soon, but I still had an overwhelming need to please him and make him proud. Crying wasn’t a thing that men did, not in our family. I was going to have to sit in that damn truck with Cam’s dog tags swinging from the rearview mirror until I could get a damn grip.
Parked in the back of the full lot, I watched as numerous people dressed in black and many in military uniforms filed into the small funeral home. One by one, they bowed their heads as my crying mother and my stoic father shook their hands.
I watched as my mother sobbed into a tissue in her hand as everyone’s lips read, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Followed by hers expressing appreciation for them attending.
I was a four-star general’s son. I was the brother of a casualty of war. What was I? Nothing. Yet.
I took a few deep breaths in, counted to ten over and over, trying to calm my shaking nerves. Fuck this. Turned the key and let the throaty engine roar to life. I wasn’t going to go in to pay my final respects to Cameron without having something to tell him. I needed to have something to show for myself before I could feel right actually saying goodbye.
Walking into the recruiter’s office felt all too right, the bell chiming over my head as I stepped inside.
“Can I help you, son?” A middle-aged, clean-shaven man in a Marine Corps uniform started to clamber to his feet from behind his desk.
“Where do I sign?”
Chapter 2
Cassidy
“Nate! Hurry up! Nate, we’re already running late!” I yelled up the stairs. “Mom and Dad left over an hour ago!” Standing in the foyer, waiting on my brother to hurry his ass up, I watched as Ryan Axston sped down the street in his brother’s old truck and my heart broke all over again. Ryan was my brother’s best friend and a few years older than me. We had all grown up together, and I couldn’t even begin to wrap my head around the fact that one of us was dead. Cameron was like the token big brother to all of us, and now we were going to have to face the next stages of life without his words of wisdom or stupid jokes. He’d never buy us beer for a bonfire or take us mudding in his Bronco again. He’d never give me a hard time for still having braces when I was sixteen or the fact that I was scared to death to drive on the interstate.
“Nate!” I shrilled as I tried to fight the tears that were threatening to waterfall down my face.
“Jeez! Don’t get your panties all twisted. Ryan told me it goes for six hours. Why the hell do we need to stand around surrounded by crying people for that long? Cam would have told us to make an appearance and then get the fuck out of there.” My brother jogged down the stairs as coolly as possible. Even though he was right, I was pissed that he was being so disrespectful.
“How are you not fucked up over all of this?” I grabbed my car keys and swung open the front door, nearly hitting Nate in the face as he started to follow me.
He just shrugged while locking the door behind us. “I have to keep it together for Ry. He’s the one that lost a brother. I’m going to mis
s Cameron as much as anyone, but I don’t want to be selfish.”
I narrowed my eyes at Nate while grabbing his dark blue tie to straighten the knot. “I just don’t get you sometimes.” I smoothed out the skirt of my black dress, wishing I had listened to my mother before she left when she warned me that my dress needed ironing.
“No one is going to be looking at your wrinkles, sis,” Nathan said gently, reading my mind as he hooked his arm around my neck. He tucked me into his side to guide me down the front steps and to my car. “Let me drive. You’re in no shape to be behind the wheel right now.”
I shoved my keys into his hand and went around to the other side of my Jeep Cherokee. “Have you talked to Ryan at all?”
Shaking his head, Nate got into the front seat. “He isn’t returning anyone’s calls.”
“Have you seen or heard from Ryan?” my mother asked in a whisper as she met me in the front room of the funeral home. She gripped my hand in hers, kissing my cheek. “I don’t think anyone can find him and I’m starting to get a little worried about him.” Her chilly fingers laced with mine as her brokenness leapt from her hazel eyes. My mother was a fragile woman, and this tragedy was hitting her hard.
“Only him driving a little while ago. He should have beaten us here,” I answered, walking over to the dark funeral parlor. Stopping in the doorway, I scanned the room; Ryan was nowhere to be found. His tall, stalky frame and almost midnight black eyes could be picked out from a crowd in an instant.
I turned to find that my brother was right behind me. “Nate? Should we go look for him?” I asked, rotating away from my mother.
My brother rubbed his hand over face while groaning. “I’ll step out and call him real quick. Let’s not start worrying all of the parents here just yet,” he whispered into my ear.
“Yeah, good idea. Thank you.” I squeezed Nate’s hand quickly as I watched his eyes go from calm to worried instantly.
I heard him mutter, “Fuck,” under his breath as he walked out the large oak door.
“Come on sweetie, let’s see if Mrs. Axston needs anything.” Hooking my arm with hers, Mom ushered me into the middle of the room.
Cam’s and Ryan’s mother was the last person I wanted to see, but my mom was right—it was the right thing to do to check on the grief-stricken mother.
Her eyes were bloodshot, hollow, and puffy, her light brown hair was pulled into a disheveled ponytail, her skin was pale, and she looked like she’d lost fifteen pounds in a week. I had never seen Susan Axston without makeup on. She was always so prim, proper, and put together—she was the general’s wife, so she had to be.
Squeezing me to her bony chest, she wept, “Cameron always spoke so highly of you, Cassidy. Thank you so much for coming. I know it would have meant the world to him to have you here today with us.”
I hugged her back with all that I had. I wanted to put the pieces of her broken heart back together. In that moment, I would have ripped my own heart out and handed it to her if I could, if it would have made things better for her. I could feel her anguish in every cell of her body. It buzzed and consumed, blanketing the entire room.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me away from Mrs. Axston. “I got it from here, Cass.”
Ryan’s face was twisted, like contradicting emotions were fighting to dominate his expression. There was something I couldn’t put my finger on, but it made me nervous. I kissed his cheek and left him to mourn with his mother. She wailed in his arms as he wrapped her tiny frame in his broad body.
I had always had a crush on Ryan. It was something I knew I could never act on because of my brother, but watching him stand in the middle of a crowd of people, holding his mother while she wept, he seemed like a real man, and my feelings for him ignited from a crush to much more.
The wake droned on and the number of patrons remaining dwindled. Nate and I awkwardly sat in the back row watching as everyone milled about. They cried, told stories, looked at old pictures.
“It doesn’t seem real, does it?” I asked, leaning my head on my brother’s shoulder.
“What do you mean?” He put his chin on the top of my head as he took a deep breath in.
“Doesn’t it feel like Cam is just going to walk through those doors at any second and yell ‘Gotcha, bitches!’, and it’s all just going to be one sick joke?”
“I fucking wish.” Nate sighed, loosening his tie a bit.
“Hey guys,” Ryan muttered, taking a seat on the other side of Nathan. “What ‘ya say about going to having a wake of our own, the way Cam would have actually wanted us to remember him?”
Nate sat up a little straighter, pulling his cell out of his pocket. “Give me an hour and we’ll all meet in the back field.”
My brother leapt to his feet, leaving Ryan and me uncomfortably sitting in silence for a few seconds. I had never been so tongue-tied around him before, but I was not able to say two damn words to him in that moment.
A small smirk spread on his lips as Ryan stared off to the front of the room where all kinds of pictures of his brother were displayed. There were a lot from his childhood, high school football, family memories, and hanging out with friends, and then some that his friends from the military had sent.
“Ryan? What is it?” I slid into the seat that was closer to him as he put his hand on my shoulder.
“Which pictures do you think Cam looks the happiest in?” Ryan questioned, his voice low in my ear.
The feeling of his hot breath sent chills down my spine as I squinted to analyze the lot of photographs. “The military ones,” I answered.
Chapter 3
Ryan
Sitting in the back field of Nate and Cassidy’s property on the front hood of the Bronco with a beer in hand felt right. It was what Cam would have wanted us to do. Even though it was hotter than heck, a bonfire roared. All of our friends were parked in a circle with music blasting from our truck speakers. The girls were in summer dresses or cutoff jean shorts, and boots, all dancing and singing along with each other. The guys were gathered in small groups shooting the shit, most in jeans and white t-shirts with big belt buckles. No one was wearing black suits, ties, formal dresses, or dress shoes; Cameron would have been proud.
“This is lovin’ at its finest, brother,” he would have said while clanking his beer to mine.
I chugged down the last of my Natty Light, crushed the can, and then chucked it into the blaze a few yards away from me. I hopped down and made my way over to Nate’s Dodge Dakota, where our cooler of beer was stashed.
“Where’d you get this anyway?” Nate pointed down at the cans on ice as I grabbed one and slammed the lid shut with the heel of my boot.
“It was the last of Cam’s stash he had hidden in the back of the shed,” I admitted.
Cracking the brew open, I took in a deep breath of the stale beer smell. All I needed was a fat lip of Skoal Wintergreen chewing tobacco and a little bit of Abercrombie cologne to smell Cameron again.
“Ryan!” Cass was climbing onto the Bronco’s hood. Right as her boot slipped, she called over to me, “Help!”
I jogged over to her side, putting my hand right on her ass cheek to push her up. “You all right there, little lady?” I asked as I hopped up next to her.
She nodded quickly while staring at the blazing bonfire. “This was a good idea. I’m really going to miss him and these types of nights, ya know.”
I put my arm around her slender shoulders, tucking her into my side. “Promise me we’ll always have these nights. Cam would want us to continue the tradition.”
She sloppily kissed my neck. “Pinky promise.”
I took Cassidy’s outstretched pinky, hooking it with mine, and then kissed the back of her fingers. Our eyes locked, and I saw something in her that I had never seen before. I knew she had always had a little thing for me, but this was different. It wasn’t a crush or even lust; Cassidy was looking at me like I had always wanted her to look at me. It was so dumb—she was my best friend’s li
ttle sister—but I had been in love with her for over a year, ever since she meant to kiss my cheek with excitement the day she finally got her braces off. She’d missed and our lips had briefly connected. It was the smallest of moments, but it meant everything to me.
With our hands still locked together, I set my beer down behind us. Brushing her hair behind her ear, I watched as the glow of the fire danced across her soft cheeks and flickered in her eyes.
She leaned in and I met her halfway. Our lips dusted against each other’s, unhurried and delicate. My hand cradled the side of her face as I scooted in a little closer. Cass’s free hand pulled at the side of my shirt as her lips parted and the subtlest of moans released from her.
Pulling away, I searched her eyes. “How much have you had to drink?” I asked her.
“Enough.” She batted her eyelashes before pressing her lips together and leaning in for another kiss.
“It’s not a good idea.” I pulled her into my arms instead of giving in to every desire I had.
She pushed me away, hurt washing over her face. “I knew you couldn’t ever want me.” Tears were already welling up in her eyes.
“I don’t want to do anything with you that you might not remember, or worse, that you might regret in the morning. If you still want to kiss me when you wake up tomorrow, then I am all yours.” I kissed her forehead as she melted into my arms.
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