“I know it is. That’s why I picked it.”
“You picked it?” Her eyes crinkled into an even bigger smile.
“Ya, I wanted somewhere special to talk with you.”
“You’re worrying me, Jesse Miller. Tell me you haven’t found any more notebooks. Tell me Andrew is still at home—”
He claimed her hand. “Andrew is fine. He was going with Dat to look for a new mare today.”
“New mare?”
“Ya. He’s going to need a buggy since he’ll be doing a column on Middlebury, Goshen, and Shipshewana for his fancy newspaper.”
“That’s wunderbaar news.”
“It is indeed.”
Silence stretched between them as Hannah waited. She was a patient girl—woman—and he knew that would be an asset in their home since patience wasn’t one of his better qualities.
If she said yes.
Looking down at their hands, hers nestled inside of his, he found the courage to pour out his heart.
“I’ve known for a long time that you were the girl for me, Hannah.”
“You have?”
“Don’t look so surprised. You stole my heart when you shared your lunch with me, right here, way back in April.”
“You remember that?”
“I do. And I could have asked you that day what I want to ask you today. Because I was certain even then.” He looked up and found Hannah’s eyes were brimming with tears. It put an ache in his chest, to see her cry, even if it was for a good reason. “But I needed to wait. I needed to settle the problems with my family and . . . with my heart.”
When she started to protest, he stopped her.
“I lived each day with anger and resentment and bitterness.”
“Because of Andrew.”
“Ya. But I see now it wasn’t actually because of Andrew as much as it was because of me. I was angry that my burden had been increased, resentful too. I envisioned Andrew out living the life of leisure, enjoying all the fun he could find.”
She ran her other hand gently up and down his forearm.
“And that anger and resentment made me bitter. I would not have made a gut husband.” He looked at her—this lovely woman he believed God had provided to be his helpmate, to be his friend—and asked the question that had been circling in his mind for weeks.
“Hannah Bell, will you marry me?”
“Ya. Of course I will.”
Though she was smiling, tears slipped down her face. He brushed them away and kissed her softly on the lips.
“Of course you will? You don’t need to think about it?”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a very long time.”
“Oh, you have?” Jesse flopped back onto the grass and looked up at the kousa dogwood tree. He was able to see the evening sky through its bare limbs. Most of its red leaves had dropped to the ground and been raked up weeks ago. They’d even collected and harvested the pinkish-red fruit so that it could be used at the bakery. He was able to see the stars as they began to make their appearance.
Then suddenly he wasn’t looking at the sky; he was looking at Hannah as she leaned over and put a hand to his chest.
“I’ve been thinking about it since you ate my lunch . . . sitting right here back in April.”
“That long?”
“At least that long.”
“So you’ll marry me?”
“I will.”
He touched her face and realized what a special gift God had given the two of them—each other.
Epilogue
A week later Hannah and Mary made their way up the stairs and into the corporate offices of the Village. Elizabeth was on the phone, but she gestured them through to Amber’s office. Though Amber knew she was coming, Hannah still paused and tapped lightly on the open door.
“Hannah, come in! And you brought Mary. This is a nice surprise.”
She walked around the desk to greet them, enfolding each girl in a hug. “Sit down, and tell me about this big basket you’ve brought.”
Hannah and Mary exchanged a smile. They all took chairs around a small coffee table. The sitting area looked out over the Village. Hannah figured she could see Jesse from there, though she didn’t look for him. He’d be downstairs in another thirty minutes, ready to walk her home.
“We brought the basket for you,” Mary explained.
“For me?”
“Ya. Remember at the police station? After Uri was arrested? You said you needed a new hobby, something more relaxing than catching killers.”
“To be fair, I didn’t exactly catch Uri. That credit goes to Tate, who tackled him, and Andrew who distracted him, allowing Tate to make his move.”
“And Jesse for calling the police.” Mary’s face was somber, but she looked more relaxed than Hannah had seen her since the arrest, and she saw her every day. They walked to work together now. And they were planning their weddings together.
“Yes, and you girls prayed.” Amber wrapped her arms around her middle. “We make quite the team. We’ve become skilled at this sleuthing thing.”
“Hopefully that’s a skill we’ll never need again.” Hannah was terribly serious, but Amber started laughing, and then Mary began to giggle, and soon she was joining in.
“If you’re having a party in there, I want to come.” Elizabeth’s voice from the outer office brought Hannah’s attention back to the reason they’d scheduled a time to visit Amber.
“We wanted to give you this basket. Mary and I picked out each item especially for you.”
Amber accepted the gift and stared down at it as if she were holding a newborn animal she might break. “Oh my. This is amazing. Let’s see, we have yarn—”
“All your favorite colors,” Hannah said. “We checked with Elizabeth.”
“Lovely—purples, blues, and ivory. They’re so soft.”
“Also the best brands.” Mary beamed.
“And hooks!”
“They’re knitting needles and these are crochet needles.” Hannah pointed at each item as she explained what was in the basket.
“This is very thoughtful, girls, but I’m afraid I don’t know how to use any of it.”
“Which is why we’re including free lessons. Every Friday at my shop.” Mary pulled her kapp strings forward and worried them. “It’s something new I wanted to try, and we thought you could be our first guinea pig.”
“Now I am touched.” Amber wiggled her eyebrows in amusement. “And here’s Elizabeth with some hot tea and cookies.”
The wind rattled the windows. They had their first forecast for snow, supposedly to fall the next day. Hannah realized she wouldn’t be walking home anymore. Soon she would need to take the buggy or ride with Jesse. That thought warmed her all the way to her toes.
Once they’d each chosen their favorite teas from the basket and sat back with a cookie, Amber sighed. “We need this winter to heal. There’s been too much tragedy these last few months. I’m looking forward to quiet time and to the holidays with my new family.”
“Quiet time is gut,” Mary said.
Hannah was astounded at the change in her friend. She seemed to have blossomed since coming back to Middlebury, as if she’d left her fears and troubles behind her. Or maybe she was looking at what love could do for a person. Mary and Andrew seemed content with each other—perhaps because they both worked in unusual jobs. Mary was the manager of a knitting shop. Most Amish women quilted, but few were managers. Andrew was still determined to write for the newspaper in some capacity. Both stepped outside of the stereotypes for plain people, and perhaps that helped to build a strong bond between them.
“Mary.” Amber spoke hesitantly. “This might not be my business, but what happened to the man with the cowboy boots, the one who used to come and visit you?”
“Some of the details of that situation are private, but I can share with you that he’s offered to marry the girl—”
“The one you were saving money for? That’s what Pam found u
nder your counter—the number to a doctor and money so she could get medical help. She’s expecting a child, right?”
“Ya. The man, who is Amish, has met with her parents and our bishop. It seems he had been away from his community for some time, and perhaps that was why he looked so natural in the Englisch clothes. Together they will probably join a Mennonite community nearby.”
“And marry?” Hannah asked.
“Yes, they have both wanted to for some time, but they were afraid her parents would forbid it.”
“You’re a big help to this community.” Amber leaned forward and patted Mary’s hand.
“It’s too bad I couldn’t be more help to Uri. I recognized his handwriting from the note he sent me.”
“How?”
“Not so long ago he would trade with my father. He’d bring a note listing the produce he would like, and in return he’d give us feed for our animals. It was always my job to gather up what was on the list. He hadn’t done that in the last year or so, but he has a distinctive handwriting.”
“So you knew it was him.”
“I suspected it was.”
“Is that why you came to see me?” Hannah asked. “The day you left town?”
“Nein. I wanted you to watch my shop. I hated leaving but didn’t see how I could stay.”
“You can trust me to take care of your shop if you ever have to be out.”
Hannah thought Amber looked amused.
“I suppose. Anyway, I suspected it was Uri, but I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know that our local police could be trusted to handle things fairly. Of course, I also had trouble believing that Uri was capable of leading a double life and killing someone to maintain it.”
“It is tragic, ya, but for Uri it might be best.” Hannah set her cup down when the other two women stared at her in disbelief. “Jesse and I have talked about this several times. If Uri hadn’t been found out, he would have continued trying to live two lives. He might have had children with the other woman, but he wasn’t free to leave Olivia.”
“You’re saying a life in jail is better than coping with the double life he was living?”
“Maybe so. At least this way he’ll have time to pray and draw closer to Gotte.”
“And our church is committed to supporting him any way we can.” Mary cocked her head to one side. “Andrew told me that the bishop intends to go and see him at least twice a month.”
“And Olivia?” Amber asked.
“She finally contacted the bishop. He put her in touch with Sergeant Avery. While she may be called on to testify in Uri’s trial, she still plans to put the place here up for sale. She’ll stay in the north with her family.”
“Is there a possibility that someday she’ll divorce and remarry?”
“Nein, but perhaps she will find a measure of peace there. At least she won’t be living in a home with a stranger, with someone who doesn’t love her.”
“In his own way, maybe Uri did love her. The tragedy is that he didn’t know how to cope with their problems.” Amber set her cup down and twirled the wedding ring on her finger. “All marriages do have problems, girls. You realize that, right?”
Both Mary and Hannah grinned.
“This is beginning to sound like the talk my mamm had with me last week.” Hannah reached for a second cookie.
“Ya, mine too. You would think we were young girls, marrying too soon.”
“Your parents care about you.” Amber hesitated and then confessed, “I remember receiving the same talk myself.”
“You do?” Hannah stared at her in surprise.
“Sure. My sister gave it to me before I married Tate.”
That brought on more laughter, until Hannah grew serious. “But you’re happy married to Tate. Right, Amber?”
“I am. God had a plan for my life, and I’m certain that plan included Tate.”
As they were standing to leave and gathering their things, Amber added, “It’s a shame about Owen. He stumbled into something he didn’t mean to, and he paid the ultimate price.”
Hannah reached forward and placed her hand on Amber’s arm. “We believe when a life is ended then it is complete, even when we don’t understand the why and how.”
Mary folded her hands in front of her apron. “And we will all support Owen’s sister and her children, in every way we can.”
“You have a good, strong community.” Amber studied the scene outside the window—a beautiful, bright, cool fall day. “We have a strong community, and we’re strongest when we join together, Amish and Englisch.”
“We share the same faith. Only the way we worship is different.” Hannah pushed up her glasses.
“I’m glad it’s a little different. I’m not too keen on sitting on hard benches.”
“But you’ll come to our weddings, right?” Mary looked momentarily worried.
“I’d be there even if I had to stand.”
“They can be long weddings,” Hannah reminded her. “We’ll be sure you have a place to sit.”
The teasing felt good. It felt right to Hannah. As her mother had reminded her, there was no use living in the past, and the terrible situation with Uri was behind them.
And the future?
It held all the trials and joys and love God had promised. It was a future she couldn’t wait to see.
Acknowledgments
This book is dedicated to Dorsey Sparks. I first met Dorsey while teaching at a middle school in the Dallas area. I was the head of the reading department, and she was a new-hire English teacher. We soon coined the phrase “What Would Dorsey Do?” because she has such a wonderful perspective and excellent skills for teaching children. That phrase bled over to my personal life when we began hiking together. Dorsey also pre-reads all my books before I turn them in to my editor. It’s been ten years since that first meeting, and I’m still learning from her.
I’d also like to thank my friends in Middlebury—both Amish and Englisch. You were a joy to visit, very welcoming, and an author’s dream as far as offering information about your lovely town. A special thank you to Jeffrey Miller, operations manager of Das Dutchman Essenhaus. Tom and Sue Welch were incredibly kind to share their knowledge of “survivalists” with me.
Thank you to Donna and Kristy, my other pre-readers. I also appreciate the work of my agent, Mary Sue Seymour, and my editor, Becky Philpott. My husband deserves continued praise. He is loving, patient, and kind.
I enjoyed this return visit to northern Indiana. If you’re in the area, I encourage you to stop by Middlebury, Goshen, Nappanee, Elkhart, and Shipshewana. Visit the local shops—both Amish and Englisch. You’re bound to find things you’ll enjoy.
And finally, “. . . always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:20).
Blessings,
Vannetta
Discussion Questions
1. In chapter 2, we have the reunion scene between Jesse, his parents, and his brother. Much like the story of the prodigal son found in chapter 15 of the gospel of Luke, Andrew’s return is a cause for rejoicing for the parents. However, Jesse is the brother who stayed home and took care of the farm. He has conflicting feelings about Andrew’s return. When have you felt like someone from this parable? Were you the parent, the child who left, or the child who stayed? What did you learn from the experience?
2. When Hannah discusses Owen’s death with her mother, Eunice points out that God’s will rules their lives and then adds, “I can remind you of his promise—to never leave us or forsake us.” What does this reveal about her faith? What was your reaction to this scene?
3. We learn in chapter 12 that all is not perfect with Amber’s new family. Tate’s older son, Collin, seems to be having trouble adjusting to his dad having a new wife. Worse, he’s avoiding them, so there’s little chance of improving their relationship. When has a family relationship disappointed you, and what did you do to restore it?
4. During the
celebration scene in chapter 15, Jesse understands that he had stepped away from their community, from their faith, just as Andrew had. He simply hadn’t stepped as far. Think of a time you rebelled against family or faith. What was the result?
5. In chapters 20 and 21, Hannah and her family visit Naomi before Owen is buried. The viewing is done in the home, and Owen’s body is there for folks to see and pay their respects. Hannah’s mom explains to the family that the point is to be with Naomi, Jonas, and the children during their time of grief. The point is to share the burden. How has someone helped share your burdens in the past? Or how have you helped someone else during his or her time of need?
6. What did you think of the scene that takes place in chapter 24 between the Amish kids and the Englisch kids at the Dairy Queen? When the Amish kids refuse to press charges, are they acting in a Christlike manner? Why or why not?
7. In chapter 29, Jesse is thinking about their group of Amish families and how odd some of the folks are. Often the Amish are portrayed as perfect, even saintly, but of course they are a group of human beings. Like any other group, they’re bound to have a few odd ducks. What does the Bible say about being a community, being a family of believers?
8. We see another side of Roland Shaw in chapter 38. He’s genuinely concerned about Amber and Pam. He’s not the cold, calculating federal agent Amber thought he was. Think of a time when someone surprised you, showing you a different, softer side of his or her personality. What did you learn about yourself from that experience?
9. When Hannah is at her lowest point in chapter 40, Amber reaches across the table and reminds her that “God . . . tells us to hope in him and that we can trust things will work out as they should.” This scripture from Romans 8:28 is often a source of hope. What scripture do you lean on when you face desperate times?
10. In chapter 47, Pam reminds Amber that the Amish don’t need protecting, that their faith is the only shield they need against the world. What do you think about that?
11. Near the end of the story, Amber is leaning on the words “Do not fear, for I am with you.” The Bible reminds us not to be afraid more than three hundred times. What things frighten you? How can you claim God’s promise in your life?
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