Maxim rewards me, with that something I need, when I feel one of his hands leave my ass. His thumb presses against my bundle of nerves as his teeth sink into the side of my neck. I scream out in pleasure, unable to hold back, unable to care who hears me. Maxim thrusts into me wildly. His body is tense and taut, his face is set hard, his jaw clenched, and I just watch in awe as he uses me for his pleasure—I love it. As I always do.
“Ti ochen nuzhna mne.” His body goes still and then he shudders as he fills me with his release.
I accept it as I accept him, fully and without hesitation.
“What does that mean, Maxim? You’ve said it more than once,” I ask, running my fingers through the back of his hair, lightly scraping his scalp as he breathes heavily into my neck, his cock softening but still inside of me.
“It means I need you so much, angel moy,” he admits.
I shiver at his words, and his blue eyes look up and crash with mine, sending my heart sputtering and my head spinning once again. I see what looks like love and adoration shimmering in his eyes. I lean down to press my lips to his softly before whispering that I need him too, so very much. Suddenly, there is a knock on the door and we both jump a bit.
“If you are finished making every man in the room a jealous fuck, dinner is served,” Gregori barks from the other side of the door. I feel my face go completely scarlet.
“Fuck off,” Maxim rumbles. I hear Gregori laughing from the other side of the door before his footsteps fade down the hall.
“Maxim,” I begin. I am cut off, not just by the warning look he gives me, but also by the act of him pulling out of my body.
“Go in that bathroom and clean up, angel moy. I wait here,” he orders.
I just do as he says, my body shaking with nerves at what I am about to walk into. A whole room of people could have heard us, and Maxim is completely unconcerned. I feel sick and scared and overwhelmed all at the same time. I am also, suddenly, starving and starting a fight with Maxim is the last thing I want to do after that fantastic orgasm against the door.
Maxim and I sit down at the table—me gently because my body is tender from the crazy amount of sex we have had since yesterday by the pool. I don’t mind it, though. The pain feels good. It reminds me of Maxim, and everything that reminds me of him makes me smile.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see that many of the women are glaring at me every now and then, and it makes me uncomfortable—almost as uncomfortable as a few of the men’s gazes.
Maxim is completely oblivious to the staring as he is deeply involved in a conversation with Pasha and Gregori. I wish that Sonia was here, but she is down with a cold and unable to make it. I don’t recognize any of the women from lunch. This is a whole new group. It is very lonely and unnerving that their attention is on me but angrily.
We leave the party shortly after dinner. Maxim tells everybody he must be up early to a meeting in the morning. I am grateful because I couldn’t stand another second of lecherous or snobby looks from the men and women surrounding us.
I am mortified that Maxim did that to me there, embarrassed me the way he did, with zero regard to how I would be treated.
Though, isn’t that normal for me?
Isn’t it typical of how I have always been treated?
I am a pawn in this life; told what and how to do everything, expected to just do it, and quietly.
I was under some kind of illusion if I thought Maxim had true feelings for me. My mother was right. I am his property to use as he sees fit until he is tired of me, then he will probably dispose of me.
Why give him that opportunity?
Why not just leave before I am dumped out in the country like some annoying dog you don’t want to take care of anymore?
It is probably stupid, no, I know that it’s stupid, but I begin to formulate a plan. Maxim claims that he needs me, but he fucks me in the back room of a restaurant while everybody can hear, then he does nothing as everybody stares at me, judging me, and formulating opinions about me based on the fact that I fucked my husband in public.
I feel like a cheap dirty whore, but isn’t that what I am? Maxim has bought me or accepted me as some kind of payment, whatever the case may be. I am nothing more than a possession, a whore to be used until I am no longer useful.
When will he start to hand me over to those men who had been lusting after me? I may be naïve, but I am not stupid. I know cruelty in this world exists beyond anything I could fathom. Alone with Maxim, I feel safe and secure; but this evening, I felt something completely different. I felt vulnerable and weak.
Maxim is confident in the fact I will not leave the house; and if I do, I am usually with Sonia or Dimitri. I know where the keys to all of his fancy cars are; although I know I don’t have a penny to my name and I can’t go to my parents’ house for help. It doesn’t matter. I would rather be living under a bridge in the city than feel like I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Wondering if every disagreement will lead him to abandon me anyway.
Wondering if I wake up one day and Maxim is just gone.
I don’t want to be abandoned, so maybe I should be the one to leave him? Maybe this life would be easier if I were alone, with nobody to hurt me, use me, or ignore me? Do I really mean anything to him?
I feel as though I am falling in love with him, but am I more than a shiny new toy for him to parade around? I want to be. I want to be everything to him. I want to mean as much to him as he means to me.
Tonight, I did not feel like his cherished bride.
Tonight, I felt like his whore.
“You have been quiet since dinner, Haleigh. Tell me what is wrong,” Maxim asks as he unbuttons his perfectly tailored shirt.
“Nothing,” I say softly, sliding the lace dress down my body, wearing only a bra, since Maxim shredded my panties.
“Tell me, angel moy. I kill any person who makes you sad.” He hooks his arm around my waist and buries his face in my hair, inhaling my scent as he always does.
“I’m fine, Maxim, really. I’m just tired,” I murmur as he places a kiss on my shoulder before grunting and turning toward the bed.
I watch in fascination as he slides between the sheets completely nude. He always sleeps nude. I will miss him when I go; this easiness we have found. Farce or not, I do feel comfortable with him.
His tattoos still amaze me. I still think they’re beautiful, even if he won’t tell me what they mean. I quickly slide my nightie over my head and join Maxim in bed. Before I can even begin to settle, he wraps his arm around my waist and brings my back to his chest, his breath hot on my neck.
“You sleep. Whatever is wrong, it will be better in the morning. I know this,” he mutters, placing a gentle kiss on my shoulder.
I sigh and close my eyes, praying for sleep to take me.
As sleep slowly consumes me, I faintly wonder if my life will ever be better than it is right now?
Will I ever be more than a pawn or property to anybody? More than a trophy?
That answer seems bleak, and I am pretty positive it is a no.
Could Maxim love me for more than what I can provide for him? Something pretty on his arm and a body to carry his children into the world?
There have been glimpses of a more caring man, a man who could possibly fall in love with me, but I feel as though my hopes have been dashed. Every time I think he could truly love me, something is revealed, a new truth that shatters that dream.
I WATCH HER SLEEP in the early morning light. She is so beautiful, my tiny little ballerina, golubushka- my little dove. I have never loved any person in my life, except for perhaps Pasha. Even then, I know I must not truly love him because if he tried to come between my Haleigh and me … I would not hesitate to kill him.
I think I might be in love. My chest aches every time I walk out of my front door and go to work. I know I must leave the country soon to complete a few jobs for Pasha, and I have been putting them off because I do not wa
nt to leave her behind. When her mother was abusing her, it was all I could do not to torture her longer than I had. I truly gave the cunt mercy.
I brush the blonde hair away from Haleigh’s face and take a quiet moment to memorize her remarkably lovely features. I have never had something so delicate, fragile, and just plain pretty before in my life. She is the only good and clean thing I have ever possessed. Would she leave me if she knew how obsessed I was with her? She sure as fuck would probably try, but she would never get too far because I would find her.
I will always find her. She is mine.
Reluctantly, I leave her asleep and alone in bed. Every minute away from her feels like hours; every hour an eternity. I feel foolish and weak for wanting her so badly, for needing her. Pasha would probably take her from me if he knew just how badly I needed her just to function. She is my Achilles heel.
Dimitri drives me to work like an old woman; he is so fucking slow. I spend the commute on my phone conducting business, annoyed that an escrow is being delayed on a warehouse I need. After I conclude my call, I close my eyes and think back to the night before and what could have happened to make her switch moods so suddenly. I fucked her in Casimir’s restaurant and then we went to eat dinner. I spent the whole evening talking to Gregori … ahh, that must be it.
So golubushka was feeling neglected then?
I can make that up to her.
I can fix that.
I pull out my phone and I order twelve dozen roses to be delivered to her, red of course. She will forgive me the second she sees them.
“What would you like on the cards, sir?” the florist asks.
I am immediately annoyed. Who in the fuck cares what’s on the cards? I run my fingers over my forehead and give her my best answer without ripping her head off.
“I am sorry. Have dinner with me tonight. Be ready at seven. –M.”
The tension from the morning leaves my body as Dimitri pulls toward my building. I step outside and practically collide with a woman. Taking a step back, my eyes meet Catia’s and I almost growl with annoyance. Why in the fuck is she outside of my building?
“Maks,” she breathes, puffing out her big breasts, trying to entice me, no doubt.
I am not blind. A fleeting thought about how good it always felt to fuck her tits crosses my mind, but only for a second. I have my sweet Haleigh now, all warm and asleep at home. I promised her there would not be another woman in my bed.
“Catia.”
“I miss you so much. I have been so lost without you these past weeks.”
Catia begins to cry, but she must realize her tears do not affect me. Tears, in general, do not affect me—except for Haleigh’s tears. They gut me. That thought is frightening; that something as trivial as her tears brings me to my knees.
“I am married man now, Catia, devoted to my wife,” I announce coolly. She sucks in a breath, nodding.
“I would have been a good wife to you, Maks. The best of everything for you,” she whispers. My eyes cut to hers. I don’t see the calculating wheels turning as in the past; she looks genuine.
“You need to move on. I love my wife,” I admit.
Catia gasps and her mouth makes an O shape at my declaration of love. I should not have said it the first time to her. I should have waited to tell Haleigh first before telling the world, but I can no longer hold it in.
I love Haleigh Lasovska, my wife. The feeling is foreign, but I like it.
The workday escapes me. I have many meetings on and off the books. Men who do not know how to control their impulses and owe me much money. They will pay one way or another. Today was warning day. Next week, we start breaking things. I grin as that is my favorite part of my off the books job—the violence. I need it to function, to escape my mind. I haven’t needed it as much since I have had my sweet wife by my side, but a raw part of me still needs to take out my anger violently.
My on the books business is acquiring properties for Pasha and investing in them so we can trade guns without as much worry. Our own supply, our own warehouses, our own men under our employ. Keeping everything close and wrapped up tight.
I look up to see Dimitri is at my office door, asking if I am ready to go home, as it is past nine in the evening. How could I have worked so hard? How could I have lost track of the time of the day this way?
“Shall we, Maxim?” he asks. I nod.
I shut off all of my electronics, lock all of my drawers, and double-check my safe. I lock the office door behind me—you can never be too safe these days. Even if there is nothing of Bratva importance in my office, I still don’t need people snooping.
“Did Haleigh contact you today at all?” I ask.
I usually find time to contact her a few times a day, but today honestly got away from me. I know if I am busy, she will contact Dimitri if she needs anything.
“No,” he says. Dimitri is cold to me. This never happens, and it confuses me.
“What is wrong, friend?” I ask. Dimitri really is my friend; I have known him for years, and he has been nothing but loyal.
“I should not say, but I will. You did not treat her right at that dinner. You lacked respect for your wife,” he informs me. I am shocked, taken aback by his angry words.
“What, because I did not engage in conversation during the meal? How do you know any of this, anyway?”
“This has nothing to do with ignoring her. You fuck her in that room, where everybody can hear her moans and screams. Then you parade her around in front of your associates and their wives. The men ogled her all evening, the women gave her disgusted looks, and you were too busy being oblivious to notice,” he growls. I notice that Dimitri’s knuckles are white on the steering wheel; he is gripping it so tightly.
“How do you know these things?” I bark. I am angry now—angry with Dimitri, but angry with myself as well.
“I met with Alexi this afternoon to talk about possible shipment of new product, better product, and expansion. He asked me if your wife is available for fucking, if you share.”
I see nothing but red. My vision is completely blocked, and I roar my anger.
“I hoped that was how you would feel, so I warned him off her. But Maxim, he will not be the only one to ask that question. Everybody knows how you obtained her and then you fucking her like that for the entire party to hear? Makes them think you do not care about her, that you only possess her,” he points out. He makes so much sense.
How could I not have thought through that moment?
I rake my hands through my hair and pull on the strands, hard. I have ruined it all with my fucking hormones.
“That was why she was angry with me,” I point out the obvious, and Dimitri snorts.
“Why didn’t she tell me? She didn’t hesitate to tell me to stop fucking Catia and every other woman on earth, so why didn’t she yell at me about this?”
“She wasn’t mad?” he asks.
I shake my head.
“I asked her and she said nothing was wrong, that she was fine, so we went to sleep,” I say with a shrug. Dimitri throws back his head and laughs. I want to slice his throat.
“You have much to learn, Maxim. When a woman says that she is fine, she never is,” he says with a stupid fucking grin on his face.
I rub my forehead again and try to calm myself. We are getting close to home, and I need to be kind and gentle or she is going to become angrier.
“That is stupid,” I reply as Dimitri pulls up to the house.
“Well … yeah,” he confirms. I wave him off as I climb the steps.
I stand at the front door and freeze—something is off. The roses I purchased for Haleigh are just sitting in their vase on the front porch – untouched. I can feel it hanging around in the air, thick and evil. I know evil, I am evil, but it isn’t me who I sense. It is something different. Sirens are going off inside my head.
I need to find out what has happened inside of my home.
I am fucking terrified.
&nbs
p; I lift my hand to Dimitri in a signal that all is not right inside. I hear his shoes crunching on the gravel driveway as he walks up behind me, my backup. I slip my gun out of my shoulder holster and wait for Dimitri to do the same. I hold it out in front of me before I open the front door.
I am immediately assaulted by the smell of soured milk. My eyes flick over to Dimitri, who smells it too, judging by the way his nose turns up. I walk into the kitchen and suck in a breath of air. Somebody has taken the milk jugs and emptied it all over the kitchen, along with every single item of food we own from the refrigerator and the pantry.
It is a disaster.
“Haleigh,” I whisper to Dimitri in horror.
We immediately run upstairs to the bedroom. It is so dark in this house, I can only hope that Haleigh is asleep up in bed—she has to be asleep in bed.
I wonder where my fucking staff is? I have men around this house most of the day, in and out, checking things, doing things. Though, lately, I have not had nearly as many as I have in the past. I have not wanted the men around my beautiful wife day in and day out. Still, there should be a few people milling around the grounds, minimum.
Where in the fuck are they?
I can tell just by the feeling in the room—the empty feeling—that she is not here. My heart hammers in my chest so hard I think it might explode out of my body. Somebody has taken my Haleigh, golubushka. They will pay. I will torture every single one of them, whoever they are, but unfortunately, none of them will bring Haleigh back into my arms.
“The fuck, Maxim?” Dimitri asks. I look back to see him holding a note with a pair of ripped panties—Haleigh’s ripped panties—attached.
“What does it say?” I croak, unable to take my eyes off her gorgeous black lace thong.
“You get cocky with your new pussy and now it belongs to us.” Dimitri sounds confused, but I am not.
I never thought that they would follow through; in all honesty, I had forgotten about the whole deal. I had made it so many years ago. I go to the bathroom and I throw up. They have her. How will I ever get her back now?
“What is all of this, Maxim?” Dimitri demands. I close my eyes, hoping it will all go away, but I know that it won’t. Now, I have to try to save my little dove, my Haleigh, before they hurt her or kill her.
Owned by the Badman (Russian Bratva Book 1) Page 11