Magic and Mayhem: Witch, Please (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Ida May Chronicles Book 2)

by Deanna Chase

  Well, not today. Just before she reached me, I bent my knees and rammed the heels of Zelda’s boots into her gut.

  The witch let out a cry of pain and fell to the floor, but not before she grabbed my arm. My left arm. The one with the tattoo.

  Pain shot through my limbs, practically paralyzing me. I screamed, barely noticing the howls coming from across the kitchen. Was that Diesel and Andi? I couldn’t tell. The kitchen was in chaos, a crescendo of shouts, orders, and cries of frustration all because of one demented witch. You’d think six on one would be a piece of cake. But no, not when one was possessed, two were cursed, and two had inferior magic skills.

  “You’re dead now,” she snarled, digging her nails into my arm. Magic pumped into me, paralyzing the left side of my body.

  I reached my right hand out, struggling for something, anything to defend myself with. Finally, my hand wrapped around a jagged piece of stone, and without a second’s hesitation, I swung, using all my remaining strength to aim for her hand clutching my arm.

  Only I missed, and stabbed myself instead. The pain in the left side of my body came roaring back just as Zelda’s magic hit Ophelia’s back. The demented witch suddenly lifted right off me and slammed into the opposite wall, her head hitting with a sickening crunch.

  All the noise stopped with the exception of Sassy suddenly bursting through the kitchen door. She came to a stop right before she stepped on me. She took a good long look around the room, then at me. After a moment, she said, “Shit, Ida May. What’d you do to Zelda’s boots?”

  “Huh?” I glanced up at her, holding on to my bloody, throbbing wrist.

  She nodded to my feet. “I’ve never seen heels break right off before.”

  Zelda, standing a few feet away, keeping an eye on an unconscious Ophelia, glanced at me. “Dammit, Ida May,” she said without any heat in her tone. “You had one job. One.”

  “Sorry,” I said on a sigh, still lying in the middle of her kitchen floor. “I think Naked Dude still owes me a favor or two. You can cash in for a pair of new boots.”

  Fabio appeared, staring down at me. He chuckled. “I’m sure that can be arranged.”

  “Good. I wouldn’t want to ruin Zelda’s day.”

  Sassy laughed. “No, we wouldn’t want that.”

  He crouched, studying my wrist. “Your tattoo is gone.”

  “It is?” I glanced at my bloody wrist, and sure enough, the curse had vanished. “Thank the goddess.”

  “I think you broke it when you stabbed yourself,” he said, pulling his shirt off. Then he wrapped my wrist in the high-quality cotton and added, “Or when Zelda finally kicked her ass.”

  “Either way, I’m glad to be free of that parasite.”

  Low rumblings sprang up around the kitchen as Mac, Diesel, and Andi shifted back to human form.

  “Mine’s gone, too,” Diesel said. “Andi?”

  “Yes,” she said in a weak voice.

  “Good.” I closed my eyes, and curled into a ball, exhausted.

  “Hey there,” a deep voice said.

  I looked up, finding Sterling. His clothes were singed and he had a small cut over his right eye, but was otherwise intact. “Hi.”

  His lips curved into a smile. “That was some fight. Ready to get up off this floor?”

  “I’m not sure I can move,” I said with a groan.

  “I’ve got you.” And once again, he reached down and scooped me up. I buried my head in his chest and didn’t look back as he carried me into the living room and deposited me on the couch.

  An hour later, my tattoo-free arm had been bound with gauze, Baba Yaba had arrived and hauled the mentally disturbed witch known as Ophelia back to Salem’s pokey with assurances of maximum security, and everyone was sitting in the living room, staring at Andi.

  “Go ahead, tell them,” Diesel urged, holding her hand with both of his. They sat close together on the loveseat, their thighs touching, and I once again got the overwhelming feeling they belonged together. Even if she had been insane.

  But of course she hadn’t been insane at all. Just possessed.

  “Most of my recollection is fuzzy,” she said, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “I have a vague memory of meeting a woman in the woods, four or five days ago. She was lost and asked how to find her way out. I instructed her on where to go and even offered to show her the way, but she declined, saying my instructions were enough. And before she took off down the trail, she shook my hand. I remember a slight burning on my abdomen, but thought it was just a bug bite or something. That night, I noticed the tattoo.”

  “And you didn’t say anything about it?” Zelda asked, incredulous.

  She shook her head. “I wanted to. I tried to tell Diesel. But I couldn’t. It was like I was compelled to stay silent. Then everything gets really confused. I remember y’all talking about a witch that escaped the prison. Then Diesel got sick. And I couldn’t really remember anything that I’d done since my walk in the woods.”

  “Do you remember going to dinner with us?” I asked.

  She frowned. Started to shake her head, but then nodded. “I think so. Everything is like a distant dream.”

  “You were cursed,” Mac said. “Ophelia targeted you.”

  “But why?” she asked, her brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t even know her.”

  “To do her dirty work,” I said.

  “It’s because of me,” Diesel said, meeting my gaze. “She was jealous.”

  “Of our friendship?” Andi asked.

  “That… and our connection,” he admitted.

  “I knew it!” I said, pumping my fist in the air.

  “Knew what?” Zelda asked.

  I shrugged, smiling at both of them. “She’s his mate.”

  “Pardon?” Andi asked, now eyeing Diesel with a critical eye. “What is she talking about?”

  “I didn’t know it at first,” he said, holding her gaze. “You know wolves can usually smell their mate right away.”

  She nodded. “That didn’t happen with us.”

  “I know. But I think it’s because of Ophelia.” He rubbed at his arm where the tattoo had been. “She’s had a crazy vendetta against me ever since our broken engagement back in the nineteen-twenties. She cursed me a few months ago. Ida May helped break that curse, or at least we thought it was broken. But after this, I’m not really sure. I’ve been feeling a bit off ever since she went back to New Orleans, but I really thought that was because, well..”

  “He thought I was his mate. But I knew better.” I gave Andi a small reassuring smile, and squeezed Sterling’s hand, just because I could.

  Diesel’s face flushed pink as he nodded at her. “Ida May was right. She isn’t, but you are.”

  Tears welled in Andi’s eyes as she stared up at him. “But I tried to kill all of you. I shouldn’t even be here.” She turned her attention to Mac. “You should ban me from the pack.”

  Mac, who was standing behind Zelda just shook his head. “No, Andi. It’s not your fault.”

  “But I’m the one who threw that magic pipe bomb in the lake. Ida May nearly died!”

  I shrugged. “I’m already dead. I mean, don’t get me wrong. If I’d have ended up in Hell for eternity, I’d have devised a plan to come back to make you suffer… horribly, but since that doesn’t appear to be an issue anymore, all can be forgiven.”

  “If I’d died,” Sassy said, “I would’ve haunted you day and night, stealing your favorite underwear, your deodorant, your coffee. You know, every creature comfort you owned, just to drive you insane, because I’m evil like that. I’m way too young to die. Jeeves and I have plans. Many plans.” The witch, reached up and tenderly pushed back Jeeves braids. “Right, love-a-roo.”

  “Oh, hell,” Zelda said. “Get a room.”

  “Gladly.” Sassy rose gracefully from the floor, tugging Jeeves up with her. “Come, my Shifter man. We have some sheets to soil.”

  “Ack!” Zelda cried after them. “Go to Mac’s hous
e. I do not want you two doing whatever it is you do in my house. Gross. Ew.”

  Everyone laughed while Sassy gave Zelda a dirty look.

  “Please,” Sassy said. “Don’t think we don’t hear what you two are up to all the time. Quiet isn’t really one of your strong suits.”

  “Out!” Zelda pointed toward the front door.

  “Fine, keep your panties on.” Sassy reversed direction, heading for the front door. Just before she opened it, she glanced back at me, then Sterling, then me again. “Something tells me I’m not going to see you both in the morning.”

  I untangled myself from Sterling’s embrace and walked over to her. She opened her arms and hugged me. “It was so good to see you again,” I said.

  “You, too. Now do me a favor. Take that gorgeous man upstairs right now and do as many dirty things as you can think of before it’s too late. That’s an order.”

  “I heard that!” Zelda said.

  A chuckle went through the room.

  “I know,” Sassy said, winking at me. “That was the idea.” Then without waiting for a reply, she waved and disappeared into the night.

  I turned around, finding everyone staring at me. “What? Sassy said it, not me.”

  Sterling’s sexy half smile was claiming his lips again, and there was no doubt he was thinking about what Sassy had said. Well, the woman had a point.

  “We’re going to go,” Diesel said, standing. “Andi and I have a lot to talk about.”

  “You do,” Zelda said. “Call me if there are any lasting effects from the curses.”

  “We will,” Diesel promised. As the pair passed me, Diesel whispered something to Andi and then said, “I’ll be out in a second.”

  His mate nodded, and slipped out the door.

  Diesel turned to me, his eyes full of appreciation. “You knew all along. How?”

  I shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’ve known you a long time and something was just different about the way you looked at each other.”

  He just stared at me, and I wondered if he could see right through me. The truth was, I did know. A few weeks ago, I’d been checking up on him. I’d been a ghost, so he couldn’t see me, but I could see him. The thing was, it seemed as if he could feel me. And our connection was still there. But the moment Andi had arrived, that had all changed. He’d changed. She’d commanded his attention, and the two of us were no longer connected. They were.

  But how could I tell him that. It’d just been a feeling; one he hadn’t been able to sense yet. It was clear he did now.

  “You’re amazing,” he whispered as he pulled me into a hug. “Thank you, Ida May. You saved me again. I’m not sure how I can repay you.”

  I hugged him back, holding on tight. “No repaying necessary. That’s what old friends are for.”

  “Old friend,” he echoed. “The best of friends.”

  His words all but melted my heart. I didn’t have a lot of people in my life… or death as it may be. And this was special. He was special. “Take care of yourself, Diesel. And that mate of yours.”

  “You got it.” He kissed my cheek lightly, waved to everyone else, and left to take Andi home.

  “And then there were five,” I announced.

  “I’m going to bed,” Fabio said. “Ida May, always a pleasure.”

  I nodded at him. “You, too Naked Dude.”

  Fabio shook Sterling’s hand. “Thanks for the help tonight.”

  “No problem,” Sterling said.

  “Me, too,” Zelda said, tugging on Mac’s arm. “I’m exhausted and Baba Lama Roo Moo said she’d be back early in the morning to repair the kitchen.” She glanced at us. “Just keep it to a dull roar, all right? A girl needs her beauty sleep. And do me a favor?”

  I raised my eyebrows in question, not sure I wanted to give any blank-check promises.

  “Burn the sheets when you’re done.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Prude.”

  “Only when it comes to the sex lives of other people.” She glanced at Mac. “Come on, handsome. I could use an orgasm or five.”

  He grinned at her. “Five. Definitely five.”

  “And then there were two,” I said to Sterling.

  “Finally.” His eyes glittered as he crossed the room and wrapped his arms around me. “How long do you think we have?”

  I shook my head. “There’s no telling. The spell is broken. There’s no reason for us to be here anymore. Could be any minute. Could be hours.”

  “Well then. Let’s not waste any time.” In one swift movement, he swept me up in his arms, carried me upstairs, and then chose the bedroom as far away as possible from Zelda’s. “I don’t plan on being quiet,” he said.

  I giggled. “I like you.”

  “You’re going to love me by the time the night is over.”

  “Cocky bastard.”

  “Sexy wench.” He set me down on the bed and gently removed the damaged boots from my feet. “That’s better,” he said, running his hand up my outer thigh. “Except you have entirely too many clothes on.”

  “So do you.” I reached under his shirt and sighed when my fingers brushed over his hardened abs. “These are enough to make a woman weep.”

  He raised one eyebrow. “I guarantee that in about five seconds, the only thing you’re going to be doing is moaning in pleasure.”

  “Promise?” I yanked his shirt off and tossed it across the room.

  “Count on it.” Then he pulled my leggings off, leaving me completely bare under the sweater dress.

  Everything started to pulse and suddenly I was burning up. I reached for the button of his jeans just as he lifted my dress over my head. In the next second, we were both naked, lying on the bed, and Sterling’s hands were already reaching for me.

  “What was it Mac promised Zelda? Five?” I asked.

  “Five,” Sterling confirmed, dipping his head to catch my nipple between his teeth.

  “Oh,” I moaned, arching into him.

  “I think that was less than five seconds,” he murmured against my breast.

  “So it was,” I said, breathless.

  “And now I’m going to make my second promise.”

  “Yeah, what’s that?” I spread my legs, wrapping them around him as I buried my hands into his thick dark hair.

  “By the time we’re done here tonight, there isn’t going to be one inch of your body I don’t have memorized.”

  A bolt of desire shot straight to my center at his words. “Not an inch, huh?”

  “That’s right.” He cupped one breast, slowly torturing the nipple with his thumb as his lips moved down my abdomen, only stopping when he reached my inner thigh. Then he lifted his head and met my gaze. “And I’m going to start right here.”

  His eyes were dark with lust and a slow smile broke out of my face. “Sterling Charles, I think this is going to be one hell of a night.”

  “Ida May, you have no idea.”

  Ida May is a reoccurring character in the Pyper Rayne novels.

  To read more about Pyper Rayne and Ida May’s shenanigans check out:

  Witched to Death

  Spirits, Stilettos, and a Silver Bustier

  Spirits, Rock Stars, and a Midnight Chocolate Bar

  Spirits, Beignets, and a Bayou Biker Gang

  To learn about Deanna’s new releases sign up for her newsletter here. Do you prefer text alerts? Text WITCHYBOOKS to 24587 for news and updates.

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