‘Let me see now.’ The woman adjusted her glasses and tapped away on the computer in front of her, frowning as she read whatever scrolled up on the screen. ‘I’m sorry but we don’t have anyone by that name listed.’
‘You must have. Our parents are here. She has to be here too.’ My eyes widened. ‘Try Angel.’
The woman tapped away some more, before shaking her head. ‘I’m sorry, I’ve tried it with both names and just the dates, in case they misspelled it, but nothing is coming up.’ She gave me a sympathetic smile. ‘Perhaps she’s buried in one of the other cemeteries.’
‘Why would they do that?’
The woman had no answers so we left.
‘She must be here. She has to be.’ I spun in a circle, looking out over the sprawling grounds, looking for a sign, something that would point me in the right direction.
Nick ran a hand through his hair. ‘Why don’t we split up and check all the graves, see if we can find her?’
I nodded and immediately set off, scanning every grave on either side of me, while Daniel and Nick went in different directions. I got to the fence and then entered the next row before walking back the way I’d come
A light breeze tickled the back of my neck, and I heard my name whispered on the wind. I lifted my head and searched for Daniel and Nick. They were on the other side of the cemetery, still looking at graves. If neither of them had whispered my name, then where had it come from?
I scanned the grounds, spotting a groundsman pushing a wheel barrow some distance away, but there was no other sign of life.
‘Andie.’
I spun around and stared at the vision that stood in the shade of the closest tree. Angel, as she’d appeared in the new dream, with her long hair flowing free and her white nightgown billowing around her bare feet.
‘Angel.’ I took a step towards her.
She held out her hand and pointed south, away from the cemetery. ‘Please hurry, Andie. Find me.’
‘Where are you?’
Angel kept pointing south as her form grew indistinct. Then she was gone, and I blinked, wondering if what I’d seen was real or a hallucination. I didn’t believe in ghosts, but if they were real then I guessed a cemetery would be the most logical place to encounter one. Either that or I was going crazy.
‘Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, you know.’
I yelped, hand to my chest. Heart racing, I turned around and glared at Nick. ‘You scared the hell out of me.’
He gave me a sheepish smile. ‘Sorry.’
‘And I’m not going mad. I’m not.’ I balled my hands into fists.
‘Relax, it was just a joke. I don’t think you’re crazy.’
I forced my tense muscles to unwind, conscious of the ache from clenching my jaw. I avoided Nick’s eyes as I stared in the direction Angel had pointed.
‘Hey, we’ll find her. We’ll find Angel.’ Nick placed a hand on my shoulder and turned me around to face him. ‘Don’t give up yet.’
I gazed at him, at his earnest brown eyes, the warmth of his hand on my shoulder chasing away the chill that had settled in the pit of my stomach. My fringe fell over my eyes but before I could do anything about it Nick brought up his other hand and brushed it aside, tucking it behind my ear. My skin tingled where he had touched it and I sucked in a breath, confused by the urge to move closer to him.
‘Get your hands off my sister.’
Nick swiftly released me and I took a step back. Daniel walked up to Nick and gave his friend a not-so-friendly shove. ‘Not cool, man. Not cool.’
Nick backed away, hands up and a startled look in his eyes. ‘She was upset. I was just trying to make her feel better. I wasn’t hitting on her.’
‘Damn right you’re not hitting on her. She’s off limits. Got it?’
I refused to look at Nick and confronted Daniel. ‘I am not a child. I can do what I want with who I want, so cut out the over-the-top big brother routine.’
‘Are you saying you want him to hit on you?’
‘What? No.’ Heat rose in my cheeks as I willed my voice not to squeak on my denial. ‘Of course not. I’m just telling you, for future reference. You don’t get to tell me what to do.’
I stormed off through the cemetery, heading for the car park, wishing the ground would open up and save me from ever having to face Nick. He’d just tried to make me feel better and been warned off by Daniel. Then I’d had to go and make it worse. I’d spoken without thinking and made it look like I was interested in him and that was so not the case. No way. Not happening.
‘Where are you going? We haven’t finished searching.’ Daniel paced along beside me.
‘Angel isn’t here.’
‘You don’t know that.’
‘Yes I do.’
‘How?’
I stopped walking, struggling to find a way to back up my conviction that didn’t involve admitting I’d seen Angel and been shown the way. I faced Daniel, still careful not to make eye contact with Nick as he stood beside my brother.
‘Bill and Joyce did everything they could to keep me from remembering her. They wouldn’t risk me stumbling across her grave and putting it together. They’d have made sure she was buried somewhere else.’
‘You make them sound like the villains from a movie. They’re not like that.’ Daniel shook his head, a frown creasing his brow.
‘Says the guy who wasn’t drugged for almost his entire life for no reason.’ I gave an angry shudder. ‘Why can’t you see them for who they really are? They are not good people.’
Daniel opened his mouth to protest, but I put up a hand to stop him. ‘If they really are as wonderful as you think, then let’s go see them. We’ll ask them where Angel is buried and if they really care about me then they’ll tell me, right?’ I didn’t think it would be that easy, but maybe with Daniel, the favoured one, at my side they would tell the truth for once. I needed more than Angel’s simple directions to lead me to her final resting place and if Bill and Joyce did come clean it would save me the hours it would take to search the other cemeteries in town.
‘Fine. Let’s go see Mum and Dad.’
I narrowed my eyes, but let him get away with calling them Mum and Dad for now. I followed Daniel and Nick back to the car, and then sat in the backseat going over the vision of Angel, picturing it in my head on the drive to the house I’d grown up in. I hadn’t been back since I’d moved out and my stomach clenched when Nick pulled into the drive.
I climbed out of the car and wiped my hands on my jeans as I stared at the multi-storied house. It had never been a home, not for me. I’d felt more like a guest, often an intruder, forced to inhabit the same space as two people who made clear that I was not what they had signed on for. It had been almost unbearable after Daniel had moved out, Bill and Joyce speaking to me only when it was absolutely necessary. On some days the only time I even saw them was the nightly ritual where Joyce came to my room with my medication, Bill looming just outside the door, ready to hold me down if necessary.
With a deep breath, I squared my shoulders and walked towards the house.
The front door opened before I reached it and Joyce stepped outside with a wide smile on her face. ‘Daniel.’ She brushed passed me and rushed to hug Daniel, who hugged her back though he wore a strained smile.
Joyce let go of Daniel and eyed Nick. ‘And who is this young man?’
‘Hi, I’m Nick Foster. I work with Dan.’ He held out his hand.
‘I see,’ said Joyce, ignoring his outstretched hand. ‘It is nice to meet one of Daniel’s friends,’ she said, stressing his full name.
Then she finally turned to look at me, eyebrows raised. ‘Andrea, you know I don’t approve of young ladies wearing jeans.’ She smoothed down the skirt of her cream sheath dress.
‘They’re comfortable.’ I gave Joyce a tight smile.
‘Perhaps, but they are hardly ladylike. Why don’t you go to your room and get changed into something more suitable for entert
aining company.’
‘I’m sure Nick can handle seeing me in jeans, right?’ I begged him with my eyes to back me up.
Nick grinned as he looked me up and down. ‘I’m totally fine with it. She looks great.’ His response earned him a glare from Daniel and a scowl from Joyce, while my cheeks burned at his endorsement. But I toughed it out and faced Joyce.
‘See, there’s no need for me to get changed.’ No way was I ever going to change into one of the dresses or skirts Joyce had insisted I wear while I lived here. I’d left half my wardrobe behind on purpose, my disdain of girly outfits fostered by a lifetime of being told I could at least look like a lady even if I couldn’t act like one.
I strode inside the house, conscious of Joyce’s hard stare, and moved over to the small table beside the door to squirt hand sanitiser into my palms. Then I slipped off my shoes and placed them against the wall, toes pointing out, before I stepped onto the plastic runner that served as a pathway to the spacious formal lounge area. Behind me, I heard Joyce directing Nick on how to wash his hands and where to place his shoes, making sure he lined them up neatly beside mine. Daniel, familiar with the routine, needed no prompting to follow suit.
In the lounge, Bill was ensconced in his favourite chair, remote control in one hand as he watched the enormous television that took up half the wall opposite.
When I stood in front of him he dropped the remote in his lap, shock on his face as he scrambled to catch it before it fell to the ground. Joyce’s stockinged feet made no sound as she slipped across the plush carpet to stand behind her husband’s chair. She plucked the remote off his lap and placed it in the holder that hung on the side of his chair, straightening it.
Bill sat up straight and frowned at me. ‘Andrea, what are you doing here?’
‘Where’s Angel?’
The colour fled from his face. ‘Wha …what do you mean?’
‘I want to see her. Where is she buried? We went to the cemetery where Mum and Dad are, but they said she’s not there.’
‘We?’ Joyce glanced over at Daniel and he gave a shrug.
‘Andie insisted we go, and I don’t blame her. I never got the chance to say goodbye either, and I’d like to.’
Joyce’s expression softened. ‘Oh, Daniel. I wish it were that simple.’
‘It is,’ I said. ‘You tell us where she is and we go see her. Simple.’
‘I’m afraid that won’t be possible.’ Joyce gave a slight grimace. ‘You see, the fire was so strong, it took hours before the firefighters could get it under control. By then, there was nothing left of the back of the house. Your sister’s remains were completely destroyed.’
I sank onto the couch, unable to take a breath, lightheaded as the meaning of Joyce’s words sank in. I felt someone sit beside me and place their arm around me but couldn’t take my eyes off Joyce.
‘That can’t be. If Mum and Dad’s … remains were able to be buried, hers would have been too.’
A cruel light gleamed in Joyce’s eyes. ‘Your parents were on the other side of the house and the coroner’s report stated that they died of smoke inhalation, whereas your room was completely engulfed in flames. Your sister was just a small child. It wouldn’t have taken long for the fire to consume her body.’
The arm holding me tightened, drawing me closer and I sank into the offered embrace. I closed my eyes and burrowed closer as I sought to block out the image Joyce’s words had prompted. A warm hand stroked my hair as Nick’s voice murmured softly in my ear.
‘Shush, it’s okay. It will be okay.’
‘Did you have to say it like that?’ Daniel’s voice carried a hint of surprise and rebuke. ‘Angel was my sister too. I’m the one that didn’t save …’ his voice cracked.
‘My dear boy, I didn’t mean to upset you. I spoke without thinking.’
I opened my eyes and watched as Joyce hurried to Daniel’s side and hugged him, genuine remorse on her face. It had been me her comments had been intended to wound. I pushed against Nick’s chest and he loosened his grip, although he still kept his arm around me.
‘I don’t believe you. Angel’s body was not destroyed in the fire. She’s somewhere on the south side, and you’re going to tell me where.’ I narrowed my eyes, watching as Joyce stiffened.
‘That’s ridiculous. How could you possibly know that?’ Joyce’s voice shook, uncertainty clouding her gaze.
I lifted my chin. ‘I just do, and I’ll search every cemetery in town if I have to, to find her.’
The uncertainty left Joyce’s eyes and she gave a smirk. ‘It won’t do you any good. Your sister is gone. There’s nothing left for you to find.’
The memory of Angel’s face, the fear in her eyes as she’d begged me to find her came rushing back and I pulled myself out of Nick’s arms and stood. ‘You’re lying. You know where she is. Tell me.’ I lunged forward, startling Joyce into taking a step back.
‘Andie, settle down.’ Daniel stepped in front of Joyce. ‘I wanted to visit her grave too, but Mum told you what happened. We’ll find another way to say goodbye to her, have a memorial service or something.’
‘I’m telling you, she’s lying. Angel is on the other side of town.’
‘How can you be so sure?’
‘Because she told me.’ The second I uttered the words I knew I’d made a mistake.
Joyce drew herself up and sneered at me. ‘You haven’t been taking your medication, have you? You’re seeing things again.’
‘Andie, is that true?’ Daniel peered into my eyes, expression wary.
Despite my best intentions, my face gave me away and in that instant I knew I had lost any chance of Daniel’s support, though I still fought to make him believe me. ‘I wasn’t on the tablets because I saw things. It was to stop the nightmare about the fire.’
‘That’s not true.’ The cruel smile was back on Joyce’s face. ‘When you were little you claimed you could see your sister, talk to her. That was the main reason we took you to the first psychiatrist. Obviously being off your medication has made you delusional once again.’
I rounded on her. ‘I am not crazy. I know what I saw.’
‘So you did see your sister.’ Triumph in her eyes, Joyce pressed home her point. ‘I think it would be best if we made an appointment for you to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible. In the meantime, I still have some of your medication. I’ll go get it, shall I?’
I shook my head, backing away. ‘I am not taking anything.’
‘I’m afraid you don’t have a choice. Or would you rather I called the hospital and asked them to place you in their mental health ward until such time as you can be assessed. For your own good of course.’
4
The vicious light in Joyce’s eyes left me in no doubt that she would carry through on her threat to have me committed. I had to get away. I ran into the front foyer, careful not to put any weight on my sore heel, scooped up my shoes and bolted outside. It wasn’t until I reached the kerb that I realised Nick was right behind me.
‘Get in,’ he said as he unlocked his car and opened the passenger door.
I didn’t hesitate. I climbed inside, slammed the door shut and locked it, watching with tears in my eyes as Daniel ran to the car and banged on the window, yelling at me to open up.
Nick climbed into the driver’s seat, closed his door and got the car moving even as he struggled into his seat belt.
I did up my seat belt; head craned around to watch as Daniel stopped running and stared after us. Then I straightened up and gazed over at Nick.
‘Why are you helping me? Everyone else thinks I’m crazy.’
‘From what I just saw, you’re the sanest one out of the lot of them. The way she treated you, man, she’s a real piece of work.’ Nick glanced over at me, before returning his attention to the road ahead. ‘Besides, I’ve seen stuff on documentaries about identical twins and the bond they share. Some freaky shit happens to them, like there was one I saw, with two women who’d been adopted
into different families when they were babies and never knew the other one existed until they were older. When they did find each other they realised they’d married guys with the same names, had kids around the same time and given them the same names too. Like I said, freaky shit.’
He shot me another glance. ‘So, are you going to tell me what Angel said to you at the cemetery? That’s when her ghost appeared to you, right?’
The tension I’d been holding in flooded out of my body, leaving me limp. ‘She begged me to find her, and when I asked her where she was she pointed south.’
‘Okay, south it is then.’
We drove in silence to the first cemetery on the south side. Nick parked in front of the office and I put my shoes on and went inside to ask if Angel was there.
‘No luck?’ Nick asked when I got back into the car.
I shook my head, not wanting to talk, a knot forming in my stomach as I remembered how confident Joyce had been that I wouldn’t be able to find Angel’s final resting place. After the third cemetery I could no longer ignore the fear churning inside of me.
‘She’s not in any of them.’ Tears stung my eyes and I let them fall.
‘Hey,’ said Nick as he leaned over the centre console to wipe my tears away. ‘We’ve still got one more to go, and the crematorium. Don’t give up yet.’
‘You were there. You saw Joyce’s face the same as I did. They put Angel somewhere she wouldn’t be found.’
‘Like where?’
‘If I knew that we’d already be there.’
‘Can you ask her, get her to appear again and tell you exactly where she is this time?’
I shook my head. ‘I wouldn’t know how.’
‘It’s worth a try though, right?’ He took hold of my hand and stared deep into my eyes. ‘Just close your eyes and think about her. See if anything happens.’ His dark eyes were intent on mine as he waited for me to follow his suggestion.
I closed my eyes as my cheeks heated up. He was so close, leaning towards me, still holding my hand, and I found it hard to concentrate on anything else. I could hear his even breathing, feel a slight puff of air on my face every time he exhaled.
Angel Fire Page 3