Khim put his hands under Trev’s thighs to better support him.
This time their kiss echoed with smiles, and Trev’s deep chuckles turned to groans.
They naturally moved onto the bed, lay down side by side. Trev took a breath. “You have literally swept me off my feet.”
Khim’s heartbeat was doing weird things. “I hope that’s good?”
Another grin. “I’ve been waiting my whole life.” Then he ordered the lights to dim and they were kissing again, bodies surging together as if maybe, if they did it just right, they could climb into each other’s souls.
For a long time, they remained that way, hands roving, suggestive but slow, polite.
Both their shirts were unbuttoned. Trev’s was half-off, his injured shoulder bare, showing its square of white bandage in the now-shadowed room. Khim’s forefinger outlined the area.
Trev pushed himself up until Khim saw his face above him, looking down. “I don’t do this every day,” he said.
Khim allowed a small smile. “No?”
Trev shook his head. “Like, never. I’m not stupid, but maybe a few hints of what you like would help me.”
Khim’s cheeks got suddenly hot. “I don’t know what I like.”
Trev laughed under his breath. “Wonderful. The blind leading the blind.”
“I know what sex is, of course. I’ve read the manuals.”
“Manuals?” Trev chuckled.
“On my battleship, Doom in Shadow, my bunkmates would sometimes have sex openly with each other. And then there was the brothel—” His body tightened, mouth closing hard.
“Brothel?”
“I—that just slipped out.” Khim’s hands dropped to his sides. He had not wanted to tell Trev that story.
Trev noticed and backed off a bit. “During the war?”
“No.”
“Where you were before the prison?”
Khim gave an almost imperceptible nod.
“Was that where you were injured?”
Khim’s mouth was dry, but he could not deny Trev’s questions. “I was sold, drugged, and taken there for less than a full day. That would have been my first time.” Khim could not believe he was telling Trev this. He never thought he’d be able to form the words to ever speak of it.
“First time? For what?”
Khim’s gaze went empty. “Sex, I guess.”
Trev touched Khim lightly just above his heart.
Air caught in the back of Khim’s throat.
“You know—” Trev hesitated, voice pitched to an almost whisper. “—r-rape is different from sex. It doesn’t count. As the first time, I mean.”
Khim had never talked about this before with anyone. He’d never spoken of his own rape to Trev. “What they did to me. I can’t do that again. So if you’re asking what I like, it’s not that.”
Trev made a little sound of frustration. Or sadness. Maybe both. “I wasn’t even going to ask you to,” he said gently. “You trust me, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then know that I will never hurt you.”
Khim wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer, feeling their bodies conform to each other, flesh to flesh. “I do know that. Please, don’t speak of it anymore.”
“I just want to know you. I don’t want to fuck this up. You’re too special.”
Khim kissed him to shut him up. Too many thoughts were beginning to clatter, too many unwanted images. All he desired was Trev, the here and the now. Any extra baggage could be left outside the door. Couldn’t it?
But that was not what happened. Everything was here with them in this room, past as well as present, and a future of unknowns that terrified him in his own newness, his becoming. They did not get to compartmentalize this journey. It was a part of everything they had done and had been doing since the day they met.
The kiss was distracting, something they were good at. Something that brought tantalizing wonder back into the air between them when words got too tough. But it wasn’t enough after a while. Not nearly. Not even close.
Trev’s fingers kept gently pushing at Khim’s waistband, wriggling under the fine material, fingertips probing at the softer areas of his body, the smooth curves at the tops of his buttocks, the tender flesh of the dent just below his hipbone.
His white shirt was long gone over the edge of the bed.
Trev’s hand hovered over the fastenings now. “These are in the way, okay?”
“Okay,” Khim said. And his body shivered as the clasp came undone and Trev pushed the trousers low, lower.
Khim pulled his legs out of them and turned away for a moment, getting his bearings. “Yours too,” he whispered, trying not to sound as unsure as he felt.
Eyes closed now. On his back. The air on his skin like silk. Like fire. All the trembling coming from his core—it should not be right. This could not be normal, could it?
A voice in his mind spoke.
This is Trev beside you. Remember the deal. The real one, not the fake one. Trev is looking out for you. Trev saved you. Now. In the obscurity of new life. Now. Like being on the edge of an atmosphere just before the dive into space. Now. Trev wants you.
That is all.
Matter and time. Void and fire. None of it mattered on the edge of this dark town, in this room, in this hour of amnesty. Of bliss.
The mattress shuddered. He heard the sounds of cloth on cloth as Trev pushed off the rest of his own garments—pants, shirt, everything.
Khim opened his eyes.
He felt a gentle brushing against his side, the stark energy of youth, boundless and intemperate. Then flesh’s touch, hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder. Hot breath upon his neck. But still Trev did not really touch him. Did not cover him, smother him, or even embrace him. He held back. He looked down.
Khim was hard, aching with want, but increasingly nervous. He turned his head to the window, where outside streetlights made the curtains into a dark gray square on the shadowed walls.
Trev hovered. Khim’s body had the urge to arch up, but his muscles stayed slack. He was barely breathing. A hand touched the side of his face so gently, it was almost as if it wasn’t there.
Trev said, “Khim. Look at me.”
Khim kept his head turned, eyes on the gray glow of the curtains.
“Look at me” came the command again. “It’s okay to let go.”
The heat came into the backs of his eyes again. Was it okay? Now? In this moment? Lack of control was weakness. The leash Trev had on him had defined his boundaries, but now he was lost, searching for that leash in the dark and untamed wilds. His metal fist scrabbled for the coverlet, digging in though he could not feel it, the hand numb, alien… other.
His flesh hand, the left one, came up in the air, a fist blindly readying itself—for what? A punch? A battle? Resistance against a final, last gasp of letting go?
Trev’s forehead was inches from Khim’s cheek, the whisper of words muted, hushed. Loving. “I want to touch you. I want to feel you. May I? Please? Just to touch. Just to feel. Khim—”
Khim took shallow breaths. The corners of his eyes stung. He was shaking with need, exploding already within tremor after tremor. He wanted to cry out. Wanted to come up fighting, raging his passion to the stars. But he simply lay there and heard himself say, with all the pent-up desire inside him, “Yes.”
Then, with more emphasis, on the undercurrents of his breath, “Yes!”
Trev moved over him, belly sliding skin to skin, body slipping along Khim’s, hot, wiry, and taut with need.
He felt Trev’s erection drag over his hip, his own like hot steel surging up. Khim’s arms stretched. He let go of the coverlet, reaching up and grasping the man straddling him, digging fingers in his back, then sliding them lower to his buttocks.
Trev let out a small cry, a gasp. He mouthed a line along Khim’s jaw. Finally Khim allowed his body what it wanted. He arched up.
Trev slid along the full length of his body in an answering
thrust. Now Khim held his entire weight, Trev’s legs splayed along either side of his thighs, and pearls of light detonated throughout his mind until he was made of sparks, of ash.
How long they moved together like that, he didn’t know.
Once his body had crested, he came hard, pulsing between them, but that didn’t stop them moving, kissing, undulating.
There was new dampness now between their sliding bodies, a slickness he loved. It heightened all they felt, the intimacy unparalleled.
Trev’s mouth was all over his neck, his chest, then back to his lips. It was only a short while before Khim came again with full awareness, full force, his insides echoing with the thunder of it.
Trev cried out, and Khim felt him also pulse and twitch as he thrust in alluring, beautiful urgency against Khim’s hard belly.
They lay for hours embracing, dozing.
In the middle of the night, Trev rose, pulled the blanket closer around Khim, and left the bed. But Khim was wide-awake and heard the shower come on. He pushed back the covers, found his balance against the rough, cheap carpet, and decided that he could, indeed, still walk. He made his way to the sound.
Steam floated through the tiny bathroom. The water pattered on the shower floor.
Khim, naked and unsure, stood on a towel in the middle of the floor, staring at the closed curtain.
A part of the curtain dented, folded back, and Trev’s wet head appeared. “I hear you,” he said. Then his eyebrows narrowed in the way of someone keeping secrets, and he looked Khim up and down, rolled his eyes, and smiled. “Fuck. Mr. Beautiful. Get in here.”
Khim stepped in under the spray, the warmth an embrace, a benediction. But the second embrace was even better. Trev put his arms around him, pulled him against him.
Khim had the urge to lift him up again, but didn’t—things were far too wet and slippery. He put his arms around Trev and rested his palms against the sweeping buttocks, gently caressing.
A low sound escaped Trev’s throat as he leaned up for a kiss. They both grew hard again.
Merging mouth to mouth, he held Trev tight under the warm fall of water.
How do I deserve this?
Chapter Twenty-three
TREV WOKE smiling. His legs were entangled with Khim’s. His head rested on Khim’s shoulder. Khim’s breath ruffled his hair.
The room lay about them in shades of russet, woodsmoke, and thunderhead black. He could hear the purr of the desert wind.
Khim’s heart beat strongly against the palm of Trev’s hand where it lay against the center of his chest. Trev moved his fingers gently, feeling the satin of Khim’s perfect skin, thrilling at the fact that he had no hair except for eyebrows, lashes, and scalp. Some golden strands of hair curved against Khim’s neck. He could see that shimmer even in the room’s faint predawn.
Fugitive, relentlessly pursued, near-broke, and planet-bound without a plan, he wondered that he could feel such contentment, such serenity.
His body was liquid, more sated than he could ever remember being. He did not want the dawn to come. A sound of protest came from his throat.
Khim woke. He moved onto his side, pulling Trev to him as he did so.
Neither spoke.
An hour passed, and the first rays of sunrise glimmered under the plain curtains.
They sat up as one.
Trev said, “We need to leave. Find a different place every night.”
Khim nodded. “Just in case.”
Trev placed a hand alongside Khim’s face. Khim kissed his palm.
They were ready in ten minutes, all their stuff packed again and set neatly by the door. They both wore their new boots. Khim looked fine in his white shirt and black trousers. Trev had on a pair of jeans he’d bought in the camp store, which weren’t dragging on the ground. And Arch’s blue shirt.
Flutterings of apprehension dragged at Trev’s stomach lining. He looked up at Khim. “Ready?”
“Ready,” Khim said in his best soldier’s voice.
Trev heard the unspoken sir in that answer.
They walked out into early-morning desert shadow.
Silence. A dry breeze swept bits of tumble-twig and grains of sand across the lot. At the edge of the horizon, scraps of torn cloud flagged the sunrise. Around them the green-orange sky went on forever to the curve of space. The air smelled singed, old.
They approached their flier, arms full. Trev balanced bags and entered the code to unlock it. The gull-wing doors flew up.
As Trev bent to deposit his things in the back, he heard footsteps on the asphalt lot. Before he turned, dread came like acid to the back of his throat.
He straightened, hands at his sides, and slowly pivoted.
Breq stood before him, a candle tube in his hand. Behind him stood Vance.
The black hair of Trev’s two older brothers shimmered in the weird Gideon light. They were wearing dark suits, as usual. Their normally cool, detached demeanors transmitted some surprise, along with smug satisfaction.
Trev said one word. “No.”
He heard Khim rustling with packages on the other side of the car. Then silence.
Breq smiled. “Hello, Trev.”
Even as he shook his head in denial, Trev said, “Breq.” He looked to the side. “Vance.”
“Wasn’t sure. Came on a hunch, a rumor.” Breq paused. The candle tube in his hand did not waver. “Do you have the android with you?”
“What?”
“Father doesn’t like to see his investments go missing.”
“What investment?” Trev held up his empty hands.
“The one on the other side of your flier. Nice of you to break him out of prison for us. Saved a lot of time and effort.”
As Breq spoke, a flash of gold-white-black flew through the air so fast the eye did not have time to follow nor the body to react.
The next thing, Khim and Breq were on the ground and the candle tube was arcing high in the air, end over end, gleaming, like an arrow that had lost its speed. It landed on the blacktop with a loud clatter.
A gasping, gagging sound came from Breq as Khim’s hands encircled his neck and squeezed.
Vance ran forward and grabbed the candle from the pavement, waving it toward Khim and Breq, shouting, “Stop. Stop! That android’s out of control!”
Trev stepped in front of Vance, breathing hard. “Don’t shoot, you idiot. You might hit Breq!” He saw that Breq’s face had already turned bright red. He was weakly clawing at Khim’s chest, but his hands could get no purchase. He didn’t have the strength.
“Khim,” Trev called. “Khim!” He began to tremble. He couldn’t just stand there and watch his brother die. He couldn’t. “Khim! Stop!”
Khim kept his hands where they were, but his head slowly swiveled toward Trev. His look was incredulous.
“Stop!” Trev commanded again when their eyes met.
A look of savage betrayal hardened the perfect features.
A single sob escaped Trev’s throat. “Khim! He’s my brother!”
Khim gave a cry of frustration and sat back, hands coming away from Breq’s throat. Then he did something that broke Trev’s heart. He drew his knees beneath him, bent over his own lap, and locked his hands behind the back of his neck. He stayed that way, facedown, the dust of the asphalt settling in his beautiful hair.
Breq was trying to sit up, still gagging, hand at his throat, dry-heaving onto the ground.
Vance and Trev ran toward Khim at the same time. Vance got there first, still wielding the candle.
“Please don’t shoot him!” Trev yelled.
Without looking up, Vance began to kick Khim hard in the side, saying over and over, “He’s out of control!” Then he pointed the candle directly at Khim’s head.
Trev slammed into Vance hard, pushing him down. “Stop it! He’s not out of control. He’s defending himself. And me!”
Vance fell back, ass hitting the ground, still clutching the candle. Breq was now trying to stand. Khim stay
ed curled over, hands behind his head, unmoving.
Trev looked around him, taking it all in. “Fuck!”
He turned to Breq, who was slowly trying to rise. “What’s the matter with you guys? Damn it! What the fuck?”
Vance came up fast but stayed where he was, eyes on Khim, fearful. But he now held the candle down by his side. “That android should be put down. I don’t know why Dad wants him back.”
Breq said, “We came to get you, Trev. And that crazy monster Dad thinks is worth something.”
At first Trev could not comprehend any of what they said. He could only see Khim, alone and still. He dropped to his knees at Khim’s side. “What do you mean Dad wants him? Dad doesn’t even know Khim.”
Breq let out a scratchy laugh, throat still recovering. He did not smile, though.
Vance said, “You truly don’t know, do you?”
“Know what?”
Breq answered. “He doesn’t know the Damico Corporation owns that thing!” He looked directly at Trev. “That Dad owns Khim.”
“What? I didn’t know that.” Tears of shock fell onto his cheeks, searing. “I didn’t.” Trev’s hand was resting gently on Khim’s shoulder.
Khim made a grumble of protest but did not move.
Trev took a couple of heaving breaths.
Breq added, “So we’ve come to collect him. And you. The gods only know why Dad wants you back.” He grabbed Trev’s arm, not ungently, and pulled him up and away from Khim. He locked clasps of cold metal about his wrists from behind. Then he bent and did the same to Khim. Trev could see they were strong cuffs, made for violent types.
“Breq, you don’t have to do this. Tell Dad you never found us. Please!”
“Why should I?”
This, from a man whose life I just saved.
“Android, up!” Vance ordered, waving the candle tube.
Shackled and utterly still, Khim did not move.
“Android!” Vance said again. Now he lifted the tube.
“No!” Trev cried. “Don’t shoot him. Please.”
The candle tube was the worst. It could break walls or impart great pain to the human nervous system. It was a horrible weapon.
“We have to get to the flier now,” Breq said stiffly.
The Android and the Thief Page 23