Chapter 27
Constance resurfaced to find herself on the floor of the twoser, Goodwill kneeling beside her. She held a water tube to Constance’s lips, and Constance drank greedily. Drops of water left a series of stepping stones smudged on her tunic. She struggled to rise, but Goodwill pressed her down.
“You need to stay horizontal a little longer. You fainted – you’re probably still woozy. I’m going to make you some ocean tea.” Joints creaking, Goodwill huffed to her feet and bustled about.
When she was resting on a chair, nursing her drink, Constance said, “I’d like to hear some more about the Nine’s plans. I promise not to faint. I don’t know what came over me.”
“It’s your condition. Devotion used to take dizzy spells when she was babyfused. You need to be aware of the tendency over the coming weeks. It’s not a good idea to live alone right now. I’m surprised you aren’t in communityplace.”
“That’s been stopped.”
“Really? How odd. I wonder what’s behind that? Anyhow, we could make space for you here. I’m sure we could rearrange the furniture and fit in a pop-up.”
“No.” Constance was blunt. “Now I know about the faintness, I’ll keep something sugary close at hand.”
“You’ll need medical authorisation. Sugar substances are only allowed under licence.”
“Of course, but I’ll be able to cite health reasons. What else can you tell me about this Virgin Birth Project?”
“It makes you anxious, doesn’t it? Your empathy is unusual. Can I ask, is it a spontaneous moe?”
Outed, thought Constance. She avoided the question. “At Shaperhaus, I’ve heard whispers about a science programme. They talked about the evolution of the female gender. I had no idea they meant a world without men. What if it weakens the stock?”
“True. Genetic diversity would be halved. Men have more physical strength, for example – that’s important to the gene pool.”
“How do we know something fundamental in what it means to be human wouldn’t be lost?”
“We don’t. But the Nine thinks its policies are not just beyond criticism, but beyond error. If Sisterland proceeds with the Virgin Birth Project, it can never be reversed. We’ll have tampered with something intrinsic to the natural order.”
Constance pulled her legs up to her chin, and rested one cheek on them. “I saw statues of goddesses at the Sistercentral.”
“I’ve heard about them. I’m told there’s something majestic and awe-inspiring about each one, no matter which obsolete religion she represented. You’re fortunate to have seen them.”
“They had a physical presence. I understood why people knelt before them. Goodwill, some of those statues probably came from outside Sisterland. I never realised Sisterland isn’t worldwide till I saw an Outsidelander. He was in Sistercentral. He looked different to our men. Less tamed.”
“You saw him?”
“Briefly.”
“One of the Silenced told us about him. She works on the Sistercentral staff. What was he like, this Outsidelander?”
“Alert. Inquisitive. Confident. He didn’t know to be afraid of Sisterland. Yet.” Constance subsided. Her last sight of the Outsidelander had been of someone striding towards an ambiguous fate. “I might try to stand now.”
Goodwill helped her to her feet, and watched as she walked around the room. “Are you looking forward to being a source?”
Constance glanced up from her feet, smiling with more animation than she had shown so far. Goodwill’s hands reached out, wanting to respond to it, but a wobble made Constance look back down at the floor. Goodwill let her hands drop.
“You’re the first person to ask me that,” said Constance. “I didn’t think I’d be ready, but now I realise I am. The Shaper Mother was right, all along. She organised the permit for me. She said it was what I needed.”
It occurred to Constance that at least her babyfusion licence had allowed her to know Harper. With mating-free reproduction, no woman would have a reason to be with a man again. And then men would be gone altogether. She swallowed, and felt her way towards a seat. If she had a boy- baby, his future would be bleak.
Which reminded her. She’d been sent to probe Goodwill. Otherwise, her own future was bleak, too. Here was an opportunity to earn credit. All she had to do was report back to the Shaper Mother that Goodwill had first-class contacts – in the peers, because a member gave her Silence’s skin; in Sistercentral, because she knew about the Outsidelander; and in the laboratories, because she was well-informed on virgin-birth tests. This was valuable information.
Except Constance didn’t want to betray Goodwill. Even if she had an agenda, as a leader of the Silenced.
“Why have you told me so much, Goodwill? You know I work for the Shaper Mother – what’s to stop me denouncing you?”
“Nothing. My fate’s in your hands.”
“You’re remarkably relaxed about it.”
Goodwill hooted, the folds of flesh beneath her chin wobbling. “Do you think I’m worried about myself? My anxieties are for Sisterland. Constance, the facts of what lies ahead for Sisterland are nasty. But facts matter less than what people choose to believe in. And the Silenced are longing to believe in her.”
“Do you believe in Silence?”
“I believe in turning situations to advantage. We don’t have many cards to play compared with the Nine. We’d be foolish not to make something of Silence.”
Constance gave a grudging nod. She knew Silence had wanted her gesture to mean something.
“Let me share a secret with you. If a sister can learn not to care about what happens to her, it’s liberating. It frees her up to do anything.”
“Don’t you care what happens to you?” asked Constance.
“Not much.”
“How do you reach that state?”
“By believing in something greater than myself. How about you, my dear? Could you believe in something bigger than Constance?”
“My baby. That’s what I believe in.”
“Your baby. Understandable.” Goodwill’s tone softened, becoming more playful. “You know, you get that gap in your teeth from the man Devotion mated with. It’s something I’ve always noticed about you.”
“You knew him?”
“I arranged for the mating.”
Constance was astounded. “Why have you never said anything to me about this?”
“I knew Devotion wouldn’t like it. She can’t bear to think about mating. It makes her feel unclean. And there’s a complication, something she doesn’t know about.” A beat. “He was my brother.”
Constance stared at Goodwill, hardly able to comprehend what she was hearing. “Your source was allowed a second babyfusion?” Her tongue fumbled the words.
“No, she only babyfused once. He was my twin. We shared a womb.”
Turmoil swirled through Constance. Unexpectedly, she had been given the answer to a question nagging at her for some time. Now, she knew the identity of her father – Goodwill’s twin brother. Her brain teemed with whys and hows, but she was unable to verbalise them.
Goodwill watched, sympathy in her eyes. She seemed to understand, and began answering the unasked questions. “My source told me about it shortly before she discontinued. She fretted about it, towards the end. Perhaps that’s why she let me in on her secret. I almost wish she hadn’t, because it preyed on my mind to think I had a brother who grew up without knowing about me, or vice versa. It took me years, and many false turns, but eventually I tracked him to matingplace. I made it my business to befriend the Mating Mother there. And then I began calling in favours. When Devotion was licensed to babyfuse, I arranged for it to happen at the matingplace where he was based. Next, I persuaded the Mating Mother to let me check their records – files are kept to prevent incest. I chose my brother for Devotion. The mother was surprised: she said he was no longer in his prime, and a younger meet would be more suitable. I used that as an excuse to look him over, and manage
d a brief conversation. He was blindfolded, of course. Still, we talked for maybe ten minutes. He had hands like my source, and some quality in his voice reminded me of her. I never truly knew my brother. I saw him only once, spoke to him only once. I didn’t even dare to tell him I was his sister. But he babyfused with Devotion, and you were the result. Which makes me your –”
“Aunt. And you’ve known this all my life.”
“It was my privilege to watch over you as you grew, Constance. And now, your babyfusion gives me a sense of continuity.”
Constance looked at Goodwill as if for the first time, trying to recast her as a man. Trying to glimpse her father in Goodwill’s face. Trying to catch a resemblance between herself and Goodwill. Were their noses similar? The way their hair grew back from their foreheads? “Is this why you oppose the Nine? Because of a brother you lost?”
“Maybe that’s where it stems from. Once you question Sisterland’s policies, the floodgates open. I never knew what to do about it till the Silenced began gathering. They’re a resource. They can help us mount a challenge to the system.”
“Us?”
“There are sisters who think as I do, Constance.” Goodwill frowned. “They want to recruit you to our movement. You’d be an asset: you’re a natural orator, and the Silenced are drawn to you. But I’m against it – I’ve told my sisters it’s unfair. You’re babyfused. It isn’t right to ask you to take risks. Even for a cause as important as ours. I don’t mind using Silence – it can’t hurt her. But you have too much to lose. I blame myself for encouraging you to speak at the Hope Bridge. Curiosity overcame me: I wanted to see how an audience would react to you.” Impulsively, Goodwill caught her by the hands and, for once, Constance didn’t pull away. “My dear, stay away from the bridge. Stay away from the Silenced. And stay away from me. I don’t trust myself. The day might come when I forget myself, and try to enlist you to our cause.”
A moe that could no longer be suppressed hummed between them.
“Goodwill, the Nine knows about you,” said Constance. “The Ess have a file on you. You need to tread carefully.”
Goodwill squeezed Constance’s hands. “I wondered about that. I’ve been checking the twoser for eavesdropping devices every day, but found nothing. Still, it seemed unlikely I could have escaped their surveillance.”
Just then, the door of the twoser opened. A warning look passed from Goodwill to Constance, quick and then gone.
“Constance, what a pleasant surprise!” Devotion was unhooking her skin as she spoke. “But you look tired. I hope you’re taking plenty of rest.”
“I decided to come and eat with you, if you’ll have me,” said Constance. “I want to pump you about babyfusion. Is my backache normal, should I be eating anything in particular, why do my fingers tingle at night?”
“Of course we’d love you to join us for a meal, wouldn’t we, Goodwill? As for babyfusion, I don’t remember much. I seemed to want to eat pond chowder every day when I was carrying you – can’t touch the stuff now. Can’t even bear the smell of it. I hope you’re remembering to take your protein poppers, ladybird. You need to be disciplined about them. Not having an other to remind you is a disadvantage.”
Constance winced, but this was no time to take offence at Devotion’s insensitivity. “I’m starving now, for what it’s worth.”
“In that case, we’ll eat as soon as the dine-all can take us. I want to hear all your news. By the way, Goodwill, they have floating eggs on the menu. Nourishing, but non-fattening.”
“I prefer my eggs submerged.”
“I know you do, but floating is healthier. What have you and Constance been talking about?”
“She wants your help with baby names.”
“Does she really?” Devotion was dubious. “I don’t know how much use I can be. I had trouble enough deciding on Constance. I suppose you could always use my source’s, if you were stuck.”
“I hope my daughter inherits her curls,” said Constance. She slid another glance at Goodwill. Would the baby inherit anything from her?
“That would be nice,” said Devotion. “Naturally it’s important to do this for Sisterland, but becoming a source is a nuisance. My feet swelled up two shoe sizes and never went down. And your life isn’t your own for that mandatory year of breast-feeding.”
“There were a few plusses, Devotion,” said Goodwill.
“Well, it did lead to Constance. But you always had the best of the bargain, Goodwill: Constance in your life, without the trouble of babyfusion.”
“If you say so, sweetheart.”
Constance left as soon as she decently could after the meal. Her stomach was in knots over what she’d learned. Huge sailor’s knots making a shipwreck of her digestive system. Tasting reflux from the meal, she rested against a building, willing the food to stay down.
When she felt able to walk again, thoughts of Goodwill filled Constance’s mind – leaving a residue as acidic as the nausea. She was claiming to be Constance’s aunt. A blood relative. Constance hardly knew how she should feel about having an aunt. The one-child policy meant they were as scarce as blue skies in Sisterland. But Goodwill’s story could have been concocted as bait to hook her. She could see no obvious resemblance between the two of them. Which meant she had to make a choice about believing Goodwill – or not – and stand over it, because there was no way to verify her claim.
As for the Virgin Birth Project, it alarmed Constance. The Nine wanted sisters to believe the State was a female Eden. But if so, why was information about Outsideland suppressed? It mustn’t trust its own people to stay put if they had alternatives. Sisters weren’t being protected, they were barricaded in.
And what to do about the Shaper Mother’s expectations of her? Constance racked her brain for a solution. Her mouth was parched. She tapped her pockets, but the water tube was missing. She must have left it in the dine-all. All at once, her legs folded up and she found herself sprawled on the pavement.
“Can we help you, sister?” Two girls materialised, and moved her into a sitting position on the edge of pavement.
“Water?” One of them handed her a tube.
Constance felt a little better after drinking from it. Her eye fell on the silver stars which decorated the pavement. There was so much kindness in Sisterland. So much beauty, too. And yet the more she discovered about the way it really worked, the more appalled she became.
“Would you like us to wait with you, sister?”
“No, thank you. I’ll head for home in a minute. I just need to gather myself together.”
After they left, she sat on, pondering what to do about the Shaper Mother. Could she string her along, feeding her a few titbits? Nothing to land the Silenced in trouble, just enough to keep Constance out of MUM – at least until her baby was born.
A peer tapped her shoulder from behind. “There are seats at the Buzz station, sister. This isn’t an appropriate spot for resting.”
“What’s wrong with it? I’m not doing any harm.”
“It’s not a designated seating area. It’s a pavement. They’re for walking on.” The peer’s eyes fell on a splash across Constance’s front. “Is that red paint on your clothes?”
“It’s tomato sauce. I had spaghetti just now at a dine-all.”
“Which one?”
Constance pointed down the road. “My source lives in that unit there. I ate with her and her other.”
“Can they confirm that?”
Constance did a double-take. “Yes, she lives in Yellow B. Her name is Devotion 2723. What’s this about, sister?”
“Incident in Sister Plaza. I’ll need to note your sig.” She gestured towards Constance’s wrist, and Constance held it up for scanning
“What happened?”
“Anti-Sisterland activity. Less said about it the better.” The peer nodded, and walked off, towards Devotion and Goodwill’s twoser.
The plaza was in front of the entrance to Sistercentral, so anti-Sisterland activ
ity there would act as a direct challenge to the Nine.
On the Buzz, Constance asked the passenger opposite, “Did something happen in Sister Plaza, sister?”
“Not that I heard.”
As she disembarked, another passenger fell into step beside her.
“Sister Plaza is cordoned off,” whispered the stranger. “Rubbish scattered all over it.”
“Seems a bit extreme to close it. Couldn’t they just clean it up?”
“It was wall-to-wall rubbish. But that wasn’t all.” The stranger looked left and right. “Grafitti. Sprayed in red paint on Sistercentral’s perimeter walls. In letters twenty feet high. Right under the Nine’s nose, you might say.”
“The usual? ‘We will not be Silenced’? I keep seeing that slogan.”
“Not this time. This graffiti taunted them.” She muttered something, making a chopping motion with her hands, before walking away rapidly. Her parting words vibrated in the air. “It said, ‘The Nine will be broken’.”
Chapter 28
Next day, Constance reported to the Shaper Mother that she had no hopes of gaining Goodwill’s trust. Her position within Shaperhaus linked her too closely to the Sisterland regime. The mother tilted her head to one side. Constance breathed evenly, willpower at full throttle, barriers in place.
“The Nine will be dissatisfied,” said the mother. “They are sisters with high expectations. They take disappointment hard. Try another meeting. Persevere.” The Shaper Mother plucked at her earrings, twitchy. It puzzled Constance – the mother was usually so contained.
“We discussed the Silenced. Goodwill criticised them,” said Constance.
“She’s testing you.”
“She knows I work for you. Why would she open herself up to me? It’s too risky.”
“You could give her confidence in you.”
“I can’t.”
“You know you can, Constance. She held you in your arms when you were minutes old – she’s watched you grow. She loves you.”
The idea of being loved by Goodwill smacked into Constance with a presence that was almost physical. It had never occurred to her. At that, she felt the mother gain entry to her consciousness.
About Sisterland Page 24