by Sophia Rey
“I’m at Fabians and I really want to go home,” he told me.
“Okay, I’ll be there in about 20 minutes,” I told him. “I’ll call you when I get there.”
I went to get him. He got in the car, grumbling as usual. “What’s for lunch?” Always thinking about his stomach.
“Smoothies or canned ravioli,” I answered.
“I hate canned ravioli and I hate smoothies.” He really was in a bad mood. I wasn’t any better today, so I didn’t even try to accommodate him.
“Well, too bad, that’s what we have. You know we’re low on money. Did you sweep the floor today?”
Part of my duties with Kai was to make sure he didn’t sit around all day.
“I’m so tired. Do I have to sweep the floor?” he moaned.
“Yes, you have to sweep,” I said, “Then we can go swimming.” It was the nice thing about a heated pool; you could still swim in the winter.
Kai sat there with his tablet. “My feet hurt,” he groaned.
“Well they seemed fine when you ran over to Fabien’s this morning,” I countered.
“They were, but now they hurt. All you do is make me clean. Can’t I have a day off?”
“Not when the apartment looks like this.” The kitchen was filthy from last night’s dinner and there were little wood chips all over the carpet from the play ground. There was clothing that needed to be folded and put away. Added to those were Carol and Maurine’s clothes, stacked in a corner until we could find a place for them. Maurine and Carol were using the guest room/storage room/craft room as a bedroom and some of the craft materials had been displaced, so they needed to find a new home. Kai’s room was a disgusting mess, as usual. Mom told him not to eat in there but he always did. He liked to eat potato chips while he watched something on his tablet. Now he couldn’t get up. “Look, I need to go get Mom from the hospital. Clean up while I’m gone and I’ll take you to the pool. Or maybe we can go to Maverick Rec Center and do some rock climbing.”
“I hate the pool and I hate the gym and I hate you!” he yelled.
I needed a break, so I went to check the mail. When I came back I told him, “Look. You don’t have to do everything, but Mom told me you couldn’t just sit around all—”
“I already went to Fabian’s,” he cut me off.
“Well, you can’t just lie around and watch me do all the cleaning. That’s not the way it works.” When he realized I wasn’t going to let up he finally started moving.
Maurine and Carol were home, but after everything they’d been through, we wanted to let them rest for a few days. They didn’t even want to go swimming. I think Carol was still worried that Mamma Laura and Big Mo would find her and didn’t want to leave the apartment at all. I understood their fear. What I didn’t understand was Kai acting out the way he was. He’d never been like this. Granted, he’d been annoying, but this anger and rudeness was something new. And I didn’t know how to handle it.
CHAPTER 20
MOM DECIDED TO VISIT Maurine and Carol’s mother. I didn’t think it she would get anywhere with her, but Mom was determined to talk to her and see what was going on. Being a teacher, Mom was looking for educational options, since the sisters hadn’t been to school all year. Not being their parent or legal guardian, she couldn’t enroll them anywhere. She needed to know how much, or how little, help their mom was going to be. It was worse than she thought.
Mrs. Fletcher was there when Mom knocked on the door. Mom says you can find out a lot about a person by looking at the inside of their house, and that’s what she intended to do….find out what was up with Mrs. Fletcher by dropping by her house.
She took me with her. I think she felt safer there with two of us. She told Mrs. Fletcher that Carol and Maurine were staying with us, at least temporarily. She explained that Dad had been hurt and was still in the hospital. Mrs. Fletcher reluctantly invited us in. “I suppose you think I’m a terrible mother,” she started out, after we sat down.
“I don’t know why you’ve made the decisions you have, but Carol and Maurine told my daughter and I that that they’d rather not live here right now. I’m not here to judge. I just need to get your permission to enroll them in school and to find out whether or not you can help with some school expenses.”
“Well,” complained a very pregnant Mrs. Fletcher, patting her round belly, “I have expenses of my own. After I have the baby I need an operation to take care of a muscle condition. I forgot what it’s called, but it’s a condition some women get when they’ve had a couple kids. For some reason their stomach muscles don’t tighten back up and they always look like they’re pregnant. Having those two girls ruined my figure. I wish I’d never had them.”
Mom, for once, was at a loss for words. “I’m…um…sorry to hear that.” She stammered.
Mrs. Fletcher took that as a signal to tell us more about her situation. “Before I got married I was real cute. Nice little shape…firm as could be. But these babies just ripped me up. I’m going back to lookin’ like I used to after Ramone is born and that’ll be it for me.”
Mom was not about to be taken off down some rabbit trail. “I know how pregnancy can be on a body. I have two kids of my own. I just want to know it you can sign some papers that will give me the authority to enroll Carol and Maurine in school.“
And some money for food, I thought.
“Yeah, sure.” As if she knew what might be coming, she pulled out some bills from her purse. “And here’s a few bucks for food.”
Mrs. Fletcher waddled to the kitchen and came back with a huge jar of cheese puffs. “Here.” She shoved the jar at Mom. “Take these. I know how kids can eat. That Maurine eats like a pig….and so depressed all the time! You’d think she could get her act together. You do the best you can and still, they look at you like you’ve committed some kind of crime.”
You have, I thought. You let your boyfriends do whatever they want.
Mom had done what she came to do. We clutched the newly signed papers, grabbed the jar of cheese puffs, and left.
CHAPTER 21
THE NEXT WEEK TWO big things happened.
The first thing most people wouldn’t consider big, but I did. I completely stopped looking for Mason’s texts on my phone. I still wanted him to text me, and hoped he would, but I didn’t look at my phone all day. Things still reminded me of him, like when I looked in the back yard and saw the patio where we used to sit. Or when I looked in the cupboard and saw the funny wine glasses I’d hoped to use when he came over. One glass had the words, “Wine is the answer. What was the question?” written on it. I’ve got to get rid of that, I thought each time I saw it. One day, Kai dropped that wine glass and broke it. He was upset because it was the second dish he’d broken that day. It made him feel better when I told him I was going to get rid it anyway because it reminded me of Mason. Still, he was so upset that I hugged him and told him what Mom would have told me. “You’re more important to me than any wine glass.” I was surprised when he hugged me back. It had been awhile since Kai had hugged anybody.
I couldn’t spend as much time at the hospital as I had before. Mom didn’t know Carol and Maurine well and neither did I, to tell the truth. So she didn’t want them being home alone a lot.
I was glad Carol and Maurine were living with us, and happy to have them safe, but Carol was not what I’d call a friend. I felt sorry for her. She was glad to be out of the lifestyle she’d been caught up in, but sometimes I thought she missed being a sugar baby. She loved looking at stuff online and always talked about what she’d buy when she had money. And she was always talking about the virtues of every purse or jewelry or clothing she wanted. I couldn’t care less about that stuff. I was more into color guard and tennis and other outdoor things. And I was busy being a senior, looking into different career options and thinking about schools, volunteering at the food pantry, and sitting with Dad at the hospital. I gave up my job for awhile to help Mom take care of Kai and spend more time with Dad. Car
ol and I just didn’t have that much in common.
The other great thing that happened that week was that Dad’s doctors told us there was some positive brain activity. According to the MRI there was significant enough change to give the doctors some hope. Doctor Foster told Mom that it might help if we read to him, so I got out the books we loved to read together and Mom and I started reading to him when we visited.
I also wrote Dad some letters I could read to him, to tell him how things were going at home. Mom said we shouldn’t say anything negative, just keep things positive so he had nice things to remember when he woke up, even though she knew he might not hear it at all. This is the letter I wrote to Dad.
Hi Dad. I miss you so much. The doctors say you’re doing better. Kai and I are back in school. I’m doing color guard again. I wish you could come and see me perform.
Mom is busy. She’s working her jobs, trying to keep the house running smoothly, and keeping things going here. Kai is acting his age. He’s such a slob. LOL, but I’m sure you know that.
Mason and I have broken up as far as I can see. He hasn’t texted me in weeks. When you come out of this coma, I’m going to ask you why men are so strange, since you are ONE of the strange ones (smile).
The doctors say you have some brain activity so I hope that means you’ll be better soon. I’m sure they’re doing the best they can. Please come home soon.
I love you, love you, love you. Em.
P.S, This may seem weird to you, but we’ve got two new temporary members in our family – Carol and Maurine Myers.
Here is the letter I wished I could write to Dad.
Oh Dad. I wish you were here. I miss you and I miss our times together.
Mason and I seem to have broken up. He dumped me, Dad. Dumped me like a hot ton of lead. I still can’t believe it! I should have known he’d do it. For months he’s been acting like a different person. He stopped showing up when he said he would and he made all kinds of stupid excuses for not being around. The last time we were going to do something he said he had to put a friend’s fan in. Instead of seeing me. Can you believe it? What is WRONG with people? I feel like I did when those girls from my high school stopped hanging out with me. Accept now I feel worse because now it’s even MORE people dumping me. I wish you were here to cheer me up. I will pretend you are here, telling me how I’m worthwhile and special. Just thinking about what you’d say cheers me up. “He’s not worth it,” you’d say. Thanks Dad, even though I’m putting words in your mouth.
Do you remember me telling you about my friend, Carol? She had an awful situation at home. Kind of like some of the girls you’ve worked with at Gardens. She had an awful step father and a mom who’s probably an addict and you know what that means. Anyway, Carol and her younger sister, Maurine, are living with us now. Carol got so tired of living with her mom and her mom’s boyfriend that went to live a woman named Mamma Laura who, believe me, is no Mamma. She ended up hooking because Mamma was charging them to live there. She couldn’t figure out where else to go. I can’t believe there aren’t more places for troubled kids in this town!
Anyway, I told Mom about it and, of course, Carol and Maurine moved in with us.
Dad. I’m worried. The last time Mom took me to a Sister’s Rock conference at church they were talking about human trafficking and how it’s become a big business because, as one of the speakers put it, “If you sell a consumable item, that item is used up; but a body can be used over and over.”
Carol was worth a lot to Mamma Laura. Carol told me she brought in 100s of dollars a day. One hundred dollars for every hour she spent with a guy and $60.00 for every half hour. If those guys are making so much money using Carol maybe they’ll come over to our house and try to get her. I’m kinda frightened! Please come home soon.
I love you, love you, love you,
Em
CHAPTER 22
MOM WAS HOPPING MAD. She looked out the window of our apartment and our van was gone. She went down to the parking lot, thinking maybe she’d parked in some spot further away from the apartment. It was late when she’d gotten home the night before. She’d gone to church, taken us to the dollar theater, and gone grocery shopping the night before. When she got home she was tired.
She looked and looked. Nope. It definitely wasn’t there. So we called the police and they told her the car had been towed. Her face turned red with anger. She vaguely remembered parking the car a bit crookedly so that her tires might have angled into another parking spot.
“No!” she told the cops. “They wouldn’t tow my car just for that, would they?” They suggested we talk to our complex management. She got even angrier. We went to the office. There she saw two employees she didn’t want to talk to. There was Mike, who told us when we moved in, that if we didn’t like our location near the street we could change it for a $100.00 fee. It ended up being $500.00. Mom was not thrilled with him. And Gigi, who was fairly new, but made it clear she didn’t want to waste her time helping people. We walked back to the apartment to get some CDs that needed to be returned to the office. And she called the towing place. They told her it would be $300.00 to get the van out of the impound lot.
By then she was really upset. “We just don’t have an extra $300.00,” she cried. “You try to do things right and look what happens.” She went back to the office, forgetting the CDs, and complained loudly, telling them they needed to refund her the expense of the towing charge.
She was so upset that I had to call for the Lyft driver, who got lost on the way over to the apartment. Then I had to call another taxi because the Lyft guy never did make it. By the time we left it was 11:00. “Why are you so mad?” I asked. “It’s just $300.00.”
“$300.00 is a lot of money right now. And it’s not just the money. Everything is adding up. I had to work so many hours last week, grading papers. The school district doesn’t pay me for any grading or correcting of papers that I do outside of school. I had to spend hours and hours reading those papers, then correcting and grading them. And I still had tutoring and the .98 Cent Store. I think I might just need more sleep.”
“I really wanted to give you kids a day out. I was going to take you all kayaking in Prescott – you and Kai and Maurine and Carol. Give our brains a bit of a break from all the stress and worry. A true Christmas break. And now I don’t think I’ll have money for that.”
Mom looked thoughtful. “I don’t want you to worry. We’ve sort–of eaten through any savings we had since your dad’s been in the hospital. I am glad he saved that girl, and I’m glad that your dad is an honest, hardworking man who saved a good amount of money before he was shot. To tell you the truth we had more money saved than most people, despite the way your father made it appear. Gardens has a good insurance plan, but they haven’t paid it yet, and I dont’ think we should count on it. So for now, it’s me supporting the family.”
“I can get my job back,” I offered.
“You may have to,” she said. “But I don’t want you to work too much. I still need your help with other things, like watching Kai. But things might be pretty tight the next few months. Even though Dad complained about his work our salaries were about the same. Some months he made more than I did. Oh, he didn’t like it and he felt like he was underemployed, but he made pretty good money. I’ve applied for food stamps and whatever else we can get. Please don’t tell Carol and Maurine. I don’t want them to think they’re a burden. But all of you kids will need to go on the free lunch program.” Mom continued. “I’m not going to be like my mother. When my dad died she wouldn’t take any financial help from the government and we could barely afford toothbrushes or shampoo. We went without food a lot of times. I won’t let things get that way.”
And she didn’t. Mom’s sister, Aunt Tarin, was called and asked to help watch Maurine and Kai when we had to do things like go to the hospital or when there was something unexpected…like the car being towed.
But Mom wasn’t a rock. It did upset her when she went
to the apartment manager the next day and had to explain things all over again….only to be told that the apartment manager couldn’t decrease our rent without talking to her supervisor. “It’s just another way for them to make me wait to get my money back,” she complained to me. “If I don’t get my money back, we’re moving. Do you know what the apartment manager said? She said I ought to feel better because my car wasn’t targeted. The tow company was supposedly not picking on me. She acted like $300.00 was nothing! What an idiot.”
Wow! I thought. Mom called someone an idiot! This must be serious. And it was serious. That night I heard Mom crying.
“It’s just too much,” she sobbed, when Carol and Maurine were at Aunt Tarin’s for a while. “I really needed that trip to clear my head and now I don’t even know if I can go.”
“Maybe Uncle Ray can help,” I suggested.
“No!” she almost shouted. “If he knew we what was going on, he’d hold it over my head later. He’d get on my case for taking in Maurine and Carol. He gets down on me for choosing to be a teacher, rather than going into internet tech like him. I’m glad that he owns his own company, but honestly, I think he’s jealous in a way because he really doesn’t like his job, even if he’d never say it.” She patted my hand. “We’ll get by.”
************
After Mom told me everything that was worrying her, I had a difficult time. She said not to worry, but she also said we didn’t have enough money. My Aspergers brain doesn’t like conflicting statements like that. I wished I had someone to talk with about everything that I felt was dropped on my shoulders. For the eightieth time in a year I tried texting Junie to no response. I texted Amy, but she texted back that she was working and would talk to me tomorrow. I could have tried talking to Carol, but she was pretty consumed with her recovery, and fairly distracted by anything shiny. Besides, Mom didn’t want me saying anything that could make her feel like a burden. After looking through all my options, I decided to text Mason. I knew it was probably a foolish decision, but I felt like everyone in the world had deserted me; and I missed having someone I could say anything to. Even if he didn’t text me back, just pretending for a few minutes might make me feel better.