‘Puzzle Palace is going to be huge! Like nothing you’ve ever seen before,’ exclaims Henry Daram, his face beaming from the screen. ‘Let’s just say, the five contestants are going to have the time of their lives.’
And then the screen blanks and suddenly Henry Daram is gone.
Things are finally back to normal again. No quiz shows. No pressure. To say it is a relief is an understatement.
Mrs Gribble is walking around with a permanent smile on her face. Apparently the school will still get the proceeds from my awesome effort on Money Bags, even if it was in highly unusual circumstances. She’s even told Mr Crapner that there’s to be no homework for the whole week, which Ted and Crofty are really chuffed about. And I’m pretty happy about it too, because it means I won’t have Ted nagging me for help, which will be a nice change.
‘Could you come to my place after school?’ asks Crofty at lunchtime. ‘I could really do with your help.’
‘My help with what?’
‘Um … the footy tipping.’
‘What! You’ve got to be kidding.’
‘Well, it’s not exactly the footy tipping. I’m giving out the prizes to the winners of the footy-tipping competition.’
‘Er, I don’t think so, Crofty. You know how I feel about the footy,’ I tell him. ‘Besides, Ted will be there. You couldn’t keep him away with an iron pole. He can help.’
‘Yeah, but he’s in the footy tipping. It wouldn’t look right if I got him to help, especially if he’s one of the prize-winners. Everyone will think it’s rigged.’
‘So I’ve won something then, have I?’ enquires Ted cheerfully.
‘I didn’t say that,’ says Crofty. ‘You’ll just have to wait and see.’
As much as I hate the footy, Crofty is my second-best mate. It wasn’t so long ago that he and Ted washed cars to get some money to help pay Mischief’s damage bills when she was going through a particularly naughty patch.
‘All right then,’ I say reluctantly. ‘I’ll be there. I’ll help.’
‘Great. You won’t regret this, Brain.’
‘Yeah, right.’
Suddenly Harriet appears and heads straight for Ted.
‘Want to go to the cinema on the weekend?’ she asks him, ignoring us completely, but Ted doesn’t look too excited at the invitation.
‘Actually, Crofty and I already have something organised,’ he tells her.
‘Really?’ says Harriet coolly, and a frown suddenly appears on her face. ‘Like what?’
Ted gulps. ‘Footy actually.’
I thought that was finished,’ she snaps. ‘This is the Irish rules footy. You know, the Aussie–Irish three-game series. Definitely not to be missed. You can join us if you like.’
‘Hey –’ Crofty begins to speak.
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ snaps Harriet. ‘As if I’d waste my time watching footy on the television,’ and she wanders off shaking her head and muttering things like, ‘If it’s not Brain, it’s Crofty. If it’s not a quiz show, it’s the footy …’
‘Girls,’ sighs Ted. ‘I don’t think I’ll ever understand them.’
‘I hate to say I told you so,’ I tell him.
‘Well then, don’t. Just don’t!’
We are at Crofty’s, and everybody is excited. Except me. It’s hard to get excited about footy when you don’t have a footy bone in your body. Bone? Make that atom.
‘Hey, where’s Ted?’ I ask him.
‘Don’t worry,’ Crofty reassures me. ‘Ted will be here any minute. He’s bringing a special guest.’
‘A special guest?’
Moments later Ted enters the front door with Mischief in tow.
‘Mischief is the special guest?’
Crofty nods.
As soon as she sees me, Mischief strains to get to me, her tail wagging furiously.
‘Okay,’ says Crofty. ‘I know you’re all hanging out to see who’s won the footy tipping, so let’s get this show on the road.’
I am standing at the back of the small gathering, with Ted and Mischief beside me, waiting for Crofty to call me up to help. But he doesn’t. He just continues on as if I’m not even there.
‘Um, Crofty …’ I try to interrupt, but my voice is quickly drowned out by the buzz of excited voices around me.
Crofty picks up a huge box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers from the table he is standing next to.
‘These chocolates and flowers are for third prize,’ he informs us. ‘And that’s not all. Not only do you get this bunch of flowers, you get a free bunch of flowers home delivered each month for the next six months courtesy of The Flower Shoppe at the Daramour Plaza.’
‘Just the thing for Harriet,’ I whisper to Ted, but he fails to see the funny side and the only response I get is a frown.
‘So, I’ll bet you’re all dying to know who’s won this great prize, right? Well, I have to tell you, it was close, really close. Ted Dimple improved out of sight in the last couple of rounds, but he was just edged out of third place by Joel Carmichael who had 116 tips correct.’
There is some yahooing and whistling as Joel goes up to get his prize. Then things settle down a bit. I’m just hanging around at the back, like a dag dangling off a sheep’s butt, wondering what I’m even doing here. Because it’s not to help Crofty hand out the prizes. He’s doing all that himself.
‘Now for second prize,’ says Crofty. ‘And it’s a good one, too – a gold pass to the Daramour Plaza Cinema. Unfortunately it doesn’t go to me, but it does go to Jackson Dench who tipped 118 winners for the season.’ Jackson races up to Crofty, grinning from ear to ear.
‘And now the big one,’ he announces. ‘The Sonnex 2000, kindly donated some time ago by Mr Spittle, owner of The Spittle Mart.’ And he holds it aloft for everyone to see. I notice he failed to add secondhand to that. It’s a wonder it still works with all the use it’s had whilst it’s been in his possession.
‘I know quite a few of you have been wondering who Anon is,’ says Crofty, suddenly looking a tad sheepish. ‘As you know, I needed twenty for the footy-tipping competition, but in the end I could only get nineteen. So, I added someone else, just to make up the numbers.’
‘Someone else?’ exclaims Ted. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Actually, it’s not a someone, it’s a something.’
‘If you’re trying to make sense, you’re not doing a very good job,’ says Ted.
‘Oh, all right,’ says Crofty. ‘You’re gonna kill me, Ted, but the Anon is Mischief. I didn’t want to call her by her name in case Brain made a fuss, so I called her Anon, as in Anonymous.’
‘What?’ shrieks Ted. ‘You put Mischief in the footy-tipping competition? But I thought the Mischief thing was just an experiment? To see how her tips went.’
‘It was,’ says Crofty. ‘At first. But I figured, if I recorded the tips you gave me, based on the pictures Mischief barked at, then it would save me picking them myself.’
‘But I was the one who got her to pick! That should count for something.’
‘Sorry, Ted.’
‘Ah, so that’s what all the secret sessions were about, not to mention all the dog biscuits,’ I say, shaking my head. ‘No wonder Mischief has been piling the weight on.’
‘Oh, that’s great!’ sighs Ted. ‘Just great!’
‘How was I supposed to know she was going to win?’ sighs Crofty, his face taking on a distinct crimson tinge. ‘I mean, she’s a dog. And you only put pictures in front of her and waited for her to bark at one. Funny thing is, she tipped every winner. The whole 176 of them!’
‘She did?’ I say, looking at Mischief with new respect. If only she excelled at something other than footy tipping.
‘I don’t believe it,’ groans Ted. ‘A dog is going to get the Sonnex 2000.’
‘Yep,’ says Crofty, nodding. ‘But since dogs can’t use video cameras, I s’pose Brain will have to use it for her.’
‘But Brain doesn’t have a footy bone i
n his body!’ protests Ted.
‘Doesn’t matter. That’s just the way it goes.’
‘Well, that’s about it then,’ says Ted flatly. ‘We’re all done here. And I’ve had enough anyway.’
The rest of the kids groan, then they start to leave.
‘You know I’m not having it,’ I tell Ted and Crofty when everyone is gone.
Ted looks at me as if I’ve just gone mad.
‘What?’ he shrieks. ‘You don’t want the Sonnex 2000?’
‘There’s no way I’m going to be called a hypocrite,’ I tell him.
‘Can I have it then?’
‘Let me handle this, Ted, will you?’ says Crofty, very businesslike. ‘Well, if that’s the case, Brain, I may as well just hang onto it, if that’s all right with you.’
‘Hang on a minute,’ says Ted. ‘Why should you get to hang on to it? You’ve already hogged it long enough.’
‘Enough with the bickering,’ I tell them. ‘How about you share it?’
‘Good idea,’ says Crofty. ‘I’ll just have it for a couple more months, then I’ll hand it over to you, okay Ted?’
Ted narrows his eyes.
‘No, it’s not okay. If you have it for a couple more months it’s likely to wear out.’
‘You have to admit, Crofty, he’s got a point. I think temporary ownership should revert to Ted for the time being. It’s only fair.’
‘But …’
‘No buts,’ I tell him. ‘I am the guardian responsible for the original prize-winner, so I say who gets it.’
‘Yeah,’ says Ted. ‘I’m with you, Brain.’
‘Fine,’ sulks Crofty.
‘Look who’s got the sookies then,’ teases Ted.
‘I’m warning you, you little smart aleck,’ Crofty fires back. I grab Ted by the arm. ‘I think it’s time we went, Ted, don’t you?’
‘Oh yeah, sure,’ he says happily. ‘After all, I do want to get in some filming while there’s still a bit of light left.’
‘That does it,’ Crofty explodes, and Ted takes off like a rocket, the Sonnex 2000 firmly in his grasp.
‘Come back here,’ I hear Crofty yelling.
‘You’ll have to catch me first,’ yells back Ted.
I shake my head and sigh.
Sometimes best mates can be really hard work!
CHAPTER 33
It’s Thursday, and Mrs Gribble has called a special assembly.
But that’s okay. Today I’m looking forward to it. Because today’s the day I finally get my Money Bags cheque. All three thousand five hundred dollars of it!
As usual, Ted is standing beside me, with Harriet on his other side. By the looks of it, everything is rosy again. They are chatting happily, like two excited little kids who have just discovered bugs in the garden.
Crofty sidles up to me and joins our cosy little group. He gives me a dig with his elbow and gestures over to the happy couple.
‘Get a load of the lovebirds, would you,’ he whispers.
‘Yeah, well, I guess there’s no accounting for taste,’ I whisper back.
Mrs Gribble suddenly interrupts the buzzing throng of students and grabs the microphone.
‘In case you’re not aware, we’ve had more quiz show success, this time with Money Bags,’ she says proudly. And suddenly there is an eruption of clapping and Mrs Gribble is drowned out.
When the clapping subsides sufficiently, she continues. ‘Due to one of our talented students, our school is now eighty-one thousand dollars better off, which will come in very handy indeed. And I’m sure the fundraising committee will be extremely appreciative, too, and join me in expressing our sincere thanks to Brain Davis!’
Mrs Gribble smiles in my direction.
‘Even if it was won in unusual circumstances,’ she adds. ‘But the rules have been checked, and everything is in order. As long as the prize-winner is the person whose name was registered, then anything else is irrelevant. I’d just like to make that clear.’
I blush, and smile sheepishly. I’m not really listening. I keep thinking about the money.
Ted nudges me and gives me a wink, and Crofty does another one of those elbow digs he’s so fond of.
It is then I notice the cheque in Mrs Gribble’s hand. I can’t take my eyes off it. It is like an eye magnet. My heart begins to race; I am so excited. Three thousand five hundred dollars. And every cent of it is mine!
I think of all the things I can do with it: buy some new computer games, stock up on the latest books, take Mischief for a visit to Pets ‘R’ Us … the possibilities are endless.
‘Now to the important bit – handing over the cheque.’ Mrs Gribble smiles and holds it up for everyone to see.
I want to jump up and snatch it right out of her hand. But I don’t. I try to be patient.
I wait for Mrs Gribble to call my name.
But she doesn’t.
Instead she says: ‘Congratulations, Ted Dimple. Your name was registered as the contestant. And it’s your name on the cheque.’
What? She’s got to be kidding! Ted’s name is on the cheque? What about mine?
Ted is in shock. He can’t believe it. And me? I am in more shock than Ted. Déjà vu washes over me in a great wave. You could knock me over with a breath this time. You wouldn’t even need a feather.
There must be some mistake. Ted Dimple? Mrs Gribble can’t be serious. I’m the one who was up on stage, under all that pressure. I’m the one who put up with the cameras in my face, and faced potential hearing loss from the noisy audience, not to mention the endless barrage of questions from Ken Cooper. And I was the person who won the eighty-one thousand dollars!
I am close to tears. They sting my eyes, but I force them away. I’m embarrassed enough. I don’t need tears to add to it.
Meanwhile, everyone mills around Ted, and there are cheers when Mrs Gribble announces she is scheduling a curriculum day next week as a reward for Ted’s efforts. Can you believe that? Ted’s efforts! There are numerous high-fives and slaps on the back. I’ve seen this all before. I can’t even look.
So I make my way over to a quiet spot to gather my thoughts.
‘Hey Brain,’ calls Ted suddenly, as he frees himself from the crowd of fans gathered around him and makes his way over.
‘I don’t deserve this cheque,’ he says. ‘It’s only because my name was down as the contestant that I got it at all. It should be your name on it. You’re the one who did all the hard work. So, here, the money is yours.’
I am momentarily lost for words. Is Ted for real?
‘You’re joking, right Ted?’
‘No Brain, this is no joke. I want you to have the cheque. It’s yours to do whatever you like with.’
Suddenly I am racked with guilt. I can’t do it. I just can’t.
‘No, Ted. I appreciate the offer, but I can’t take it. People would think I coerced you into giving it to me because of sour grapes or something.’
‘Don’t worry, Brain. I’ll set them straight.’
I am torn. I want that cheque so badly I could burst. But Ted’s generosity has humbled me. I can’t believe someone could be so unselfish.
‘Are you sure, Brain? I can’t sway you?’
‘I’m sure. That money is yours, Ted. So what are you doing standing around talking to me? Hurry up and spend it!’
‘Okay then, I will,’ says Ted, grinning.
I watch him race off, as happy as a pig in mud. Then the realisation sets in.
I have just said goodbye to the biggest amount of money I am ever likely to get my hands on again.
Suddenly thoughts of brand-new computer games and the latest books come racing back. And I realise my mistake.
‘Hey, Ted, wait!’ I call. ‘I’ve had a change of heart. I …’ But it’s no use. Ted is just a speck in the distance. Then he is gone.
And so is my three thousand five hundred dollars.
I shake my head in disbelief.
Oh, what have I done?
&nb
sp; CHAPTER 34
It is 8.30 pm and I’m looking in the fridge.
Usually I’d be up in my room listening to my sound system, or checking out the trivia sites on my computer. But tonight I’m sulking. Because today has been the worst day of my life. I have missed out on the only chance I’ll ever get to be the proud owner of three thousand five hundred dollars. How unlucky can a kid get?
So now I’m checking out the fridge and … yes … there it is! The last slice of Mum’s homemade chocolate cheesecake! Mum saved it especially for me, on account of the day I’ve had.
I’m just about to grab it, when the doorbell rings.
I’m not really in the mood to be cheerful and happy to callers, so I figure I’ll ignore it, until Mum casually calls out, ‘Brain, would you get that?’ So I do.
It’s Ted. The last person I want to see.
He looks like a cat who has just been given a lifetime supply of mice, he is so happy.
‘Hi Brain. How’s things?’ he says so cheerfully I contemplate slamming the door in his face.
But I don’t. He is my best mate and I just can’t bring myself to do it.
‘Things are okay,’ I manage.
‘I just wanted you to know that I really appreciate your generosity, Brain, and that the Money Bags money was very well spent.’ He suddenly points to a brand-new bike, gleaming in the light of the verandah.
‘You bought yourself a new bike?’
‘Only a Black Demon Sleek,’ says Ted proudly. ‘The best on the market for the price, I’m told. And it sure beats running.’
‘That’s nice,’ I say dully.
‘But don’t think I forgot you, Brain,’ says Ted. ‘Because I didn’t.’
‘You got something for me? Really?’
‘Of course! You’re my best mate. How could I forget you?’
‘I don’t know what to say, Ted.’
‘Come outside and check it out,’ says Ted excitedly. ‘You’re gonna love it.’
What a kid! What a mate!
I hurry outside after him.
And then I see it: a wheelbarrow at the bottom of the steps.
My eyes nearly pop out of my head!
‘A wheelbarrow filled with Choc Puffs?’ I say in disbelief.
Money Bags Page 10