Beautiful Life

by Bruce Thomas

  "When did this happen?" Janet asked her jaw practically on the floor.

  I really didn't want to have this conversation with Elmer around but he looked me straight in the eye and waited, clearly enjoying being apart of girl talk.

  "A couple nights ago but--" "That's who you were with when you went out. Fred?" She slumped back in her chair, her eyes glossing over momentarily. "I should have known. Good thing we picked the black dress otherwise he would have wanted more than just

  kissing in that red one."

  I gaped at her. That red dress was perfectly formal and acceptable for any occasion.

  "So then why did he come over last night? I mean, clearly he was drunk out of his mind but why did he show up here? What went down?"

  I wanted to comment on why her and Anne didn't just listen at the door like I thought they would but I didn't want to give her any ideas for the future...Not that that would happen again but still. "Fred came here last night?" Elmer asked surprised. "We went out but he seemed kind of busy with this one chick, I think she was one of the bartenders. He disappeared like normal but I really didn't mind because he was being such a grump. Huh."

  My stomach rolled at the mention of Fred with another girl. And then he came over here. Why am I not surprised?

  "Yeah, he actually stayed the whole night and left later this morning," Janet said heatedly to her boyfriend as if he was her best girl friend and she's allowed to spill out all the best deets. "He fell asleep on accident. It really isn't what it sounds like." I could feel another headache coming on. With the way things are going I'm going to become prone to medication.

  "Well, do you like him," Elmer asked. He was now propped up with his elbows on the table and an expression that could only be described as interested.

  I hesitated on answering him, feeling rather uncomfortable talking to the subject's closest thing to a friend. Janet gasped in horror. She dropped her hands down on the table dramatically making me jump. "Oh God," she groaned.

  "This is bad, this is real bad. Annaanna, Fred isn't someone you should pine after, trust me. There are so many other guys on this campus--in this city! Choose one of them." I felt a crush of disappointment. I guess no matter how many time I try to swerve away from this unusual, intense feeling I have whenever Fred is in the same room as me, it's undeniable that there is a spark there.

  Why? Why did I finally develope feelings for someone who is emotionally detached? Why am I attracted to a guy who is arrogant, moody, and most likely a little dangerous in more ways than one? Not to mention has tons of sex with many women.

  He kisses me then comes here just to tell me what I already told him. He looks at me like he wants to tell me something, like he wants me, but then turns away as if nothing happened.

  I tried to play off the kiss thinking that it was a mistake. It should not have happened because then I knew I would have to admit that the feelings that were unleashed when his lips touched mine were strong and smothering. I have barely gotten a full lung of air since we last shared it between us.

  This, this is why the human race should not be given a brain. Giving time to think about stuff only makes you analyze things more!

  What I feel when he looks at me makes me rethink every outlook I had on love. And that's bad, very, very bad because I was positive he didn't feel the same way. I was just a joke to him. All these feelings were so sudden that I felt like I've been swept up by a cyclone and I was now just thrown out only to land on my ass with one

  person in mind. At this point in time I wish I never came to NYU. I wish I would have stayed behind in my little quiet town where everybody knows everybody and there were no secrets to hold because people just knew them.

  If I never would have came to this city, I would never have met Fred. I didn't wish I never met Fred though. If I never had met that man then I would never have felt what I was feeling now, even though I have no clue what that is.

  I can't feel that strongly about someone I don't even know.

  "You're being ridiculous," I said standing up from the table. "I have homework to do." And with that I walked back to my room and went back to my bed.

  But instead of doing homework, I daydreamed of what life would be like if things with Fred weren't so unreasonably confusing.

  Fred's POV I managed to stay away from campus for two weeks. I haven't answered my phone in the span of fourteen days. I'm sure I have a few people angry at me about it but they were the last worry on my mind.

  I didn't want to steer towards that way afraid that I would end up at Anna's dorm to apologize for walking away like I did.

  Apologize. This is why... This is why I didn't want to be friendly with her. My intentions were to make her uncomfortable at that party over a month ago, maybe get a mealy hand job out of the exchange. This was uncharted territory and I wasn't quite sure how to handle it.

  Do I call her? Do I explain what I'm feeling and see if she might be feeling the same?

  Jesus Christ I sound like a girl.

  I was 21 years old and here I was playing out my life like some cheesy soap opera in my head for a girl that I barely knew. It wouldn't matter if she felt the same way, I'm not going there. It wouldn't change anything.

  Elmer stopped by the other day and told me that Anna was asking about me but I played it off like I didn't care, ignoring the electric shock that was sent straight to my heart.

  I hated it. I hated the strong pull I felt towards her and what made me mad was that I was being affected from it.

  I have kissed a lot of girls. A lot. And with every kiss of course I felt it, the rush of lust and the need to get closer but all those encounters with girls was nothing compared to that one kiss with Annaanna. There was no mistaking the shot of electricity that bolted from her lips to mine that traveled all the way to my toes and other organs. My body responded the second her skin touched mine and usually it takes more than a peck on the lips to get me going.

  I wanted more when I kissed her. I wanted every limb of hers and mine to tangle with each other's and all of her body heat to be pressed against mine. That need for closeness is what confused me the most. I had a feeling Elmer knew something was up. I caught him grinning at me over the top of his beer when he thought I wasn't looking. That's when he brought up Anna asking about me.

  I could practically read his mind thinking that I was falling into the same trap that he was. Well, unlike him, I wasn't fully captured. I still had time to run for it.

  I was sitting alone on my couch flipping through the channels

  when my phone buzzed again in my pocket. I slipped it out to check the caller ID and groaned aloud when I saw who is was. I knew better than to dismiss his call for the fourth time today. "Hello," I hissed into the phone.

  "Have you been ignoring me?" My father barked into the phone.

  I hadn't spoke to him since the little mishap at his dinner party weeks ago. I felt it was for the better until both of us cooled off. I figured having Anna there would stop something like that from happening but then that waiter came up accusing me of sleeping with his ex girlfriend and then had the audacity to speak of Anna to me, saying all the right things to get me riled up. Speaking of all the ways he could use her to get back at me had my fist flying before my brain could register where I was at.

  "Of course not, I wouldn't dare. What do you want?" "I'm going to be out of town. Something came up at the office and I need someone to watch Matty. Trust me," he said when I started to protest. "I have tried all other options but all fell through. You're my last resort."

  There was no way I was going over to that house.

  "If you cannot, I have already called someone who has agreed to help out. Your girlfriend is a very sweet girl. I didn't even have to Annabe her." I nearly dropped the phone from my grasp. I stopped chewing the corn chip I had been snacking on and froze.

  How did he get her number when I didn't even have it? Surely he used his big bad CEO connections and got a hold of it. Maybe he got it th
rough the college.

  I knew what he was doing. He was using Anna to lure me into coming home. He knew that I wouldn't object if my 'girlfriend' would be there. Well old man, you were playing this blindly. "I'm busy tonight." I finished chewing my chip loudly into the receiver.

  My father sighed on the other end. "Very well. I'm sure Annaanna will be able to handle it alone." "Yes, I'm sure Anna will do just fine." I clicked the end button and threw my phone into the couch.

  He wasn't going to get to me. Neither was Anna. I needed to stand my ground and not cave into seeing her. Was she having as much trouble as I was?

  Hours past and the temptation for grabbing my car keys became stronger and stronger. I would just stop by and see how things were holding up. I'm sure Matty would be happy to see me and I'd like to think Anna would be too. But that's just what she wants from me. She wants me to fall under her spell which she acts like she doesn't know she's casting. She smiles up at me sweetly and bats her eyes like she isn't aware that it's chiseling away the bold exterior that I have spent so many years building.

  I've never had to worry about a girl making me feel something. It was always just sex with all the others, so why do I keep thinking about her? Maybe I was just curious, who knows. Certainly not me. I've always had a certain type of girl that I went for, small, delinquent, easily manipulated but Anna was the complete opposite. She was curvy and head strong and didn't take my crap. She used her smart mouth against me instead of cowering away just to give into what I want.

  Without a second thought, I jumped up from the couch and grabbed my keys in a fluid motion, and headed for the elevator.

  I would just stop by and when I arrived I would have a little proposition for Anna. One that would benefit both of us. =================

  16

  Matty and I sat on his bedroom floor barricaded by knickknacks and toy cars. He showed me toy after toy, all different versions of helicopters and cars, which he seemed to be able to tell me all about. "Cool," I mused when he presented a red and green train set which he moved around a plastic track on his bedroom floor.

  It was about seven o'clock and I decided to make something to eat for Matty and myself. He drove his blue truck down the stairs with me following him to the kitchen and jumped up on a bar stool at the island in the middle of the large space.

  "Where's Fred at?" He asked for the hundredth time since I came and his father left. "He's busy. I'm sure he really wanted to come hang out with you though." I picked up the box of mac and cheese and poured the contents into the saucepan on the stove.

  "I don't think so," the little boy pouted. "He doesn't like it here. Him and dad fight a lot." "Why is it they don't get along?" I knew it was wrong of me to talk behind Fred's back with his little brother but my curiosity was running wild. Plus, I knew Fred wouldn't tell me himself. Matty shrugged, moving the toy back and forth on the granite top. "Fred misses my mom. She's in heaven instead of with him and me." This I knew even though he never came right out and said it. He was angry at his father's lack of grieving for the passing of his mother. It would seem Fred and his mom were close. Closer than him and his father anyway.

  That didn't stop the sharp sadness that came from a little kid who never got to know his mother. "Do you remember

  her much, your mom?" I walked over to the island and leaned against it waiting for his answer.

  "No," he said leaning his elbows on the top mimicking me. "I was just a baby, dad says. But she loved me. She loved Fred too and he loved her."

  "I'm sure she did very much."

  I walked back over to the stove and stirred our dinner while Matty went back to making vrooming noises for his car. My brow creased when I heard the front door open in the foyer. I set down the towel I was using to dry my hands and went to see who walked into the house. I was just about to pick up an umbrella from a tall vase on the floor, scared that it was a burglar, my imagination running wild in this city, when I heard fast footsteps behind me.

  "Fred!"

  Matty moved past me and into his brother's arms. It was a sight that I have seen multiple times but it never failed to put a smile on my face. "What are you doing here?" I asked crossing my arms and walking towards him with Matty dangling about his side. Matty shrieked from Fred's hold and his big brother set him back on the ground with a ruffled to his hair.

  "Couldn't let you handle this monster all on your own." He clasped Matty's tiny shoulder and gave him a little shake causing him to break out in laughter again.

  I didn't bother to ask how he knew I was at his dad's house, knowing I wouldn't get a truthful answer anyway.

  "Well, you came just in time for food," I said turning on my heels and walking back into the kitchen. I felt freakishly relaxed after Fred showed up like I could finally stop feeling anxious. Usually his presence sent my nerves on fire but seeing him here to see Matty had a strange calming effect.

  "Mac and cheese!" Fred cheered highfiving his little brother. "But where's the hotdogs?" He asked opening up the oven to see it was empty. "Annaanna, you can't simply have mac and cheese without hot dogs," he fake scolded me. I narrowed my eyes at his playfulness. I still found this side of him off, him usually brooding and unattached, being so carefree and dare I say cheeky.

  Matty ran to the fridge and yanked it open, pulling out a draw to grab a bundle of frozen hotdogs. He placed them on the counter and looked up at his brother with wide eyes full of approval. "Hotdogs we will have then," I said reaching for the little piggies on the counter.

  "I can do it," Fred offered with a friendly smile. I watched him suspiciously as he opened the package with his teeth. He pulled out another pan and waited for the water to boil before he put the hotdogs in. Matty went back to his place on the stool and waited for his food.

  "Tired out yet?" Fred asked me quietly, nudging me to the side so he could stir the mac and cheese. I stepped out of the away and let him take over, leaning myself against the drawers. "Yes. I forgot kids have so much energy."

  Fred laughed and looked at me sideways. "I'm jealous of all the energy to be honest."

  This was nice, Fred and I having a casual conversation over a pot of comfort food. I hadn't seen him in a couple weeks, not since he left the dorms upset for a reason that was still hidden to me. I asked Elmer where he was,

  worried that he was avoiding me, but Elmer hadn't seen him much either. It seemed he had locked himself away, avoiding not only me but his friends as well.

  Now here he was smiling and calm. I eyed him while he stirred our food. Was he on some type of high? He was no doubt as crazy as the loonies in padded rooms that's for sure.

  He looked over at me and grinned, the smile stretching across his whole bottom half of his face. Once the food was done we sat down at the island and ate our easy meal. The whole while Fred joked with Matty pretending to steal his food when he wasn't looking. Matty made it into a game pretending that he didn't see Fred's fork moving towards his plate then at the last second tried stabbing his brother with his own fork which turned into a exciting sword fight, me being the commentator and the boys the mighty knights.

  Putting Matty to sleep was rather difficult considering his excitement for his brother being here to tuck him in. "I want to stay up with you guys. Dad's not here, I wont tell!"

  Fred tisked while he rolled Matty into what looked like a burrito in his bed. "Now Matthew, you won't have fun with us. We're going to be doing grownup stuff and talking about grownup things. You wouldn't like that." He looked over the bed at me where I was stationed on the opposite side of the twin sized bed and winked.

  I adverted my eyes and turned to his little brother. I quickly reminded myself that he was just messing around, though it didn't stop my stomach from filling with butterflies. "Yeah Matty, we'll probably just go to sleep

  anyway. You won't be missing out on much."

  After only minutes Matty was asleep and oblivious to us leaving his room. Fred shut his door silently and started walking back down stairs. I
followed him into the kitchen and sat down on one of the stools. He reached into the freezer pulling out a tub of ice cream. "Want some?"

  As I nodded, he pulled out two bowls from the hanging cupboards. I took the bowl of vanilla ice cream and thanked him. We sat in silence until I couldn't take it anymore.

  "So, what are your plans tonight?" Surely he wouldn't want to hang around here with me watching tv while he could be out doing something more fun. "This." He shoved a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.

  I pulled my eyes away from his mouth and took a bit myself. "Oh."

  "Do you want me to leave?" His voice sounded suspicious, almost timid.

  "No," I said quickly licking my lips free of the sticky white treat.

  "Do you want to watch a movie or something? I'm sure the old man has something entertaining to watch here."

  I nearly choked on my ice cream. He was really staying and was actually wanting to be around me. I would have thought after the kiss he wouldn't want anything to do with me...

  Clearing my throat I nodded, finishing off my ice cream in my bowl. Fred got up from the stool and walked into the living room. He knelt down in front of the big screen television and opened the stand to display different types of movies. Most of the movies were bought for Matty to watch but Fred found one that he approved of and popped it in.

  I walked into the room and sat on the couch with my legs tucked under me. Fred sat down beside me too close but then scooted away when he caught himself.

  He had chosen the Avengers movie, which I had never seen because I wasn't really into the superhero stuff and Fred of course had to comment on this.

  "How have you never seen this? This is gold. Let me guess, you like watching those sappy chick flicks." His voice was mocking and quite frankly playful that I couldn't help but comment back. "Yes, actually I do like those types of movies."

  "That surprises me," he said watching the screen.

  "How so?"

  He turned his torso towards me and set his feet on top of the glass coffee table in front of us to make himself comfortable, surely expecting this to be a debate. "Romance and you don't go together remember." I looked at him confused not knowing what he meant by this. I swear if he Annangs up my virtue again I was going to force him out the door. I don't care if this was technically his house.