Beautiful Life

by Bruce Thomas

  breath.

  "I hate the holidays," he grumbled seconds later. I held back the urge to laugh at his childlike features that now displayed over his handsome face.

  "How can one hate the holidays?" I asked before taking another drink of my coffee. He was right, this was better than starbucks. Now if only I could know how much it cost to pay him back... "Someone who has a shitty family." The coffee was hard to continue swallowing after that. I had to force it down my throat so I wouldn't choke. I guess he was right. Selfishly I thought about how I was going to spend Thanksgiving here by myself this year. Everyone that was a native would be at home with their families or the ones with enough money would spend the week flying home to see their loved ones. I would probably be making chicken flavored ramen in my dorm.

  Thanksgiving was always a fun celebration at home. The last couple of years, Cathie would go all out with food for just the three of us; turkey, stuffing, casseroles, several type of pies! You name it, she made it. But I have to admit that the holidays did sometimes overlapse the happy with the sadness that seem to sneak its way into the cracks. I always wondered what my mom or dad, sometimes both, were doing while I was sitting at the table with my hands folded in prayer.

  Homesickness washed over me at the thought of Cathie rustling around our small kitchen this very moment preparing the meal her and my uncle would have tonight. It was strange not being home for Thanksgiving this year.

  "I understand that," I said. Fred's eyes creased while looking at me intensely.

  "You

  sort of know about my family. What's your family like? You don't really talk about them."

  I played off the sudden jolt of my movements at the question Fred threw my way. He knew the background of my story from when we spent that night on the roof. I was confused then as to why he wanted to know in the first place. Now I was even more.

  I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat. "Before Cathie, my uncle's girlfriend, came along, the two of us would order chinese food and watch the football game on this small box tv we have in the living room. Pat hated cooking and I hated eating his cooking. I've ate his food my whole life, but he used to say, "We are thankful that we live in an economy that allows take-out even on holidays." I laughed at the memory, pushing a strand of curly hair behind my ear.

  "Where did your mom go on holidays?" Fred asked leaning in closer over the small table we shared. "I'm mean before it was just you and your uncle. Did she stay home and eat with you?" "There were deals at the cross bar about a mile down the road," I admitted rolling my eyes with my head down so Fred couldn't see. "They had a deal on Thanksgiving that if you drank three you get three free. Same for Christmas. Never saw her much."

  I looked up to see Fred watching me. I was used to the saddened look that settled between the brows of those who listened but with Fred there was no sad look. A look that could only be deciphered as admiration graced his face.

  "I had no idea," he said swallowing his coffee. "You cover it so well."

  I get that alot. Wow, Anna, you're such a good

  kid. Wonder how that could have happened with the folks that created you. The only way I could explain is was that I was good because I didn't want to be them. It's not that I was some poor little thing. I am very blessed with what I have. I have never felt that my life was horrible. Yeah, I had horrible parents who didn't want me but I also had a guardian that would do anything for me. There is always a silver lining even in the darkest times.

  I sighed and placed a smile on my face. "Everyone has their ups and downs."

  Fred continued to stare unblinkingly at me until I couldn't handle sitting still under his stormy eyes. Before I could say anything he looked down. "My mom used to make my dad and me our own pie every thanksgiving. I used to be a really picky eater and would only eat mashed potatoes and pecan pie. My dad is allergic to pecans and nuts so Mom would make a cherry pie for him and herself and a small pecan for me. She used to write my name on top of it with whipped cream and everything before she let me eat it. She did that up until I was sixteen."

  I had the sudden urge to cry at the memory of his mother. I may not have known her or will ever meet her but if I could say one thing to her, it would be to thank her for making her son smile. "I saw a picture of her in your old room. The one at that baseball game. She was very pretty." The image of Fred smiling with the his arm wrapped around a petite woman's shoulder popped into my head. They both look so happy.

  Fred smiled too, nodding his head. "That was the last picture we had taken together before she got sick."

  The smile dropped on his face but was replaced suddenly by an even bigger one. "She ate two corndogs, about a pound of nachos, and a blue slurpee that day. She kept beting me that she could keep up with me. We were both so sick."

  I laughed, picturing the small woman eating everything her growing son could. "It's funny how our brains remember such simple things like that."

  The wave of sadness came over me with the conclusion that I remembered no happy memories with my parents. Not one.

  Fred's smile disappeared too as he watched me. I didn't want my life to dull out his so I quickly replace the smile on my face, scrunching my nose and focusing back on my coffee. "You always do that," Fred commented leaning forward closer to me.

  I paused with the cup halfway to my lips. "Do what?"

  He pointed an accusing finger at me. "Smile when you don't want to just so someone else doesn't feel bad."

  I shrugged my shoulders not bothering on defending myself. "It's a defense mechanism, I guess. Why make someone else sad just because you are. That's no fair."

  Fred leaned closer to me, bracing his forearms on the table. I didn't like the way he was looking at me. "Are you sad, Anna?" "No," I said quickly trying to get this conversation over with. "Not right now, anyway." I blushed looking back down at my coffee. Damn it, I was doing so well.

  "Why is someone like you having coffee with someone like me? On Thanksgiving, no less. Do you enjoy my cryptic self, Raine?" He flashed his crooked smile which always tended to make my heartbeat speed up.

  "Well, you are the only person I know who doesn't have plans today. And I'm sure there's one good thing about you, Montgomery," I chided looking over at my cup with big innocent eyes. This made him laugh. I loved it when he laughed. It was like the room got a little Annaghter through the curtains and it allowed warmth into the room.

  "I must admit, I am a mean cook."

  My jaw went slack with humor and I cocked my head in his direction. "I'll believe it when I see it."

  "Okay," he said straightening in his seat. "Since you won't be going home for turkey day and I'm sure as hell not going home to be shackled and mocked, how about us loners spend it together?" What? Okay I must be going crazy for real now. "Yeah," he said with gusto as he took in my expression. "I will show you how awesome I am at cooking and you won't have to eat the lack of food in that fridge at yours--Oh, by the way, you need more cereal." He leaned back in his seat while I mentally pulled myself together.

  Did Fred honestly just ask me to spend a holiday with him? Alone. Having a meal together. At his place. Oh shoot, now I looked like a weirdo with glazed over eyes and my mouth hitting the table. "Okay," I said as coolly as I could. I must admit it sounded better than eating the non available cereal all by myself. Janet left this morning to the suburbs to spend the weekend with her family. "I am going to blow your mind, Anna." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively making me laugh and throw a balled up napkin at him. My laughing trailed off though when the sound of Fred's phone went off. I focused on the people sitting around the coffee shop while he answered it to give him some privacy. The place was rather sparse considering it was lunch time for most offices. People with their laptops sat at various tables writing papers or watching Netflix.

  I started watching one of their screens which was showing an episode of New Girl when my head snapped in Fred's direction.

  "What?!" He snapped into the phone. "Yeah
, I'll be there in fifteen." He ended the phone call with a huff and pushed away from the table.

  I looked up at him questioningly, a little afraid of what the phone call was about because a worried expression covered every inch of his face. "Fred, what's wrong?" I asked my heart pounding quickly in my chest.

  "Matty's in the hospital."

  =================

  24

  I walked Annaskly behind Fred who I could tell was trying to brush off the phone call and trying to remain unphased by the news about his brother being rushed to the emergency room. We ended our coffee date as soon as he ended the phone call and both drove in silence to the hospital, fighting the people that were still leftover from the Macy's Day parade. Fred didn't asked me to come along and I didn't bother to give a suggestion.

  We found Fred's father sitting on his phone in the waiting area, keeping half of his attention on his blackberry and the other half on the game displayed on the tv on the wall.

  "How is he," Fred asked when he saw his father. I trailed into the quiet room behind him, my heart aching at the thought that something could be severely wrong with the little boy. "He was complaining that his stomach hurt this morning. He was complaining about it all week. The doctor pegged it as appendicitis," Fred's father explained. He seemed unbothered with the news but I noticed a small tick of his foot that tapped rapidly on the speckled aluminum flooring. He and Fred did the same thing when they were anxious.

  "You just let him go to school when he wasn't feeling well?" Fred gritted through his teeth. I knew I had to step in whether he liked it or not before this escalated to a scene. "It could have been mistaken for anything, Fred. How is he?" My eyes burned into Fred's as a warning as I asked Lawrence Matty's condition.

  Fred scoffed and walked away to sit in a chair but stayed in the room to hear what his father had to say. He sat in the

  farthest chair from where I stood. I shook off the tinge of pain that rocketed through my chest at the sight of Fred upset with me. "He just got out of surgery. We can't see him yet," Lawrence said ignoring Fred. "They said we caught it just in time before it could have gotten worst. The poison from his ruptured appendix was making him sick. If I would have known it was this serious I would have taken him to the hospital right away. I just thought he didn't want to go to school because of a few kids that picked on him."

  Anger surged through Fred that soon erupted in the empty room. "He's been sick and you just ignored it?"

  I went to open my mouth again to try to calm the war zone that was bound to fan out but was stopped by a narrow glare from Fred. My mouth snapped shut and I took a seat in the closest chair to me. "Did you say he is being picked on at school too?" Fred stepped closer to his father intimidatingly but Lawrence didn't step back. "God, do you even take care of him? Or are you too busy with your fancy business meetings and weekly whores to know when your son is sick or his life is being made a living hell?"

  A tick in the jaw was the only give away that Lawrence was losing his temper. "You don't know the first thing about being a parent, Fred. Hell, you can't even take care of yourself." "Don't turn this onto me, Dad. How long have these boys been picking on my little brother, huh? A week, month, the whole year? Are you doing anything to make them leave him alone? I know you hate me, okay, but at least put in the effort for Matty." Fred's chest

  heaved up and down as he tried his hardest to calm down. Another pang pelted my heart at his father's silent conformation of having no love for his oldest son. I would have thought he would correct him and say he didn't hate him, that of course he loved him, but he said nothing and looked back down at his phone.

  "Everything is under control, alright. Now, since you are here and Anna is here with you, I thought we could discuss Thanksgiving plans." He looked up expectantly to me from his phone and smiled swiftly. I felt caught off guard at the sudden change in topic and apparently it wasn't sitting right with Fred either. "Un-fucking-believable. Anna and I are spending Thanksgiving together at my place. We're not coming to yours."

  Fred ran a frustrated hand through his hair and I couldn't blame him. I, too, felt the whiplash I was receiving from this conversation. The front of his hair now stood up slightly and my hand itched at my side to reach up and smooth it down.

  "I don't see why you couldn't just spend it with your brother and I instead of making your girlfriend cook and slave over a stove to feed just two people." He turned and winked at me but I felt no satisfaction of his sympathy. I looked at Fred who was now turning red.

  "No." His eyes burned into his father as if he wanted him to drop dead right there. But knowing Fred, he would choose to commit the act somewhere other than the hospital. It would seem too easy for him. Lawrence turned again to me and I felt like I was going to be sick. I didn't want to be caught in the middle of a father/son rivalry of who can crack Anna first.

  "It would mean a lot to Matty," he said clasping his hands together.

  I looked over at Fred to see he was shaking uncontrollably with rage. My mouth opened and closed like a fish without water but luckily we were interrupted by a man in blue scrubs coming through the door. "Mr. Montgomery," the man presumed. "You may see your son now. Everything went smoothly. He can go home once he's checked out. No absurd food at the dinner table tonight. That won't go over too well, but other than that he is fine."

  Fred stormed past the man to the room where Matty was recuperating. With a quick glance at his father, I rushed past him and followed.

  Matty laid there on the hospital bed with tubes going in and around his little arms but instead of looking ill he had a big smile on his face which only grew when he saw Fred walk into the room. "Hey bud," Fred said quietly. I stayed in the doorway while he walked over to his little brother and sat on the side of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

  Matty practically vibrated out of the bed to get closer to his brother. He ignored the IV's in both of his hands and move around as he pleased.

  "Check it out," he said motioning to the monitor beside the bed. "I'm a robot now!"

  A smile graced Fred's exhausted face as he nodded looking at the monitoring of Matty's heart. "Pretty cool." "Pretty cool? That's awesome, Fred!" Matty bounced himself on top of the narrow mattress but winced and laid back down on his back. His normal rosey cheeks were paler than usual and his curly blonde hair sprung

  out in ever direction. Fred placed a hand on his brother's shoulder in a comforting manner and I still couldn't get over how gentle he was with the kid. He was never that way with anyone, well, except me when I had that bad dream, but we saw how that turned out.

  A hand landed on my shoulder making me jump. When I turned my head I saw Lawrence watching the scene too. I stepped further into the room to allow their dad to step through and make his way over to Matty on the bed.

  The six year old tilted his head to the side to get a better look at me standing with my arms crossed over my chest and feeling out of place. I should have waited outside but I couldn't help the pull of the invisible string that seemed to be attached between Fred and myself. Where he went, I couldn't help but follow.

  "Hi, Annaanna," Matty waved friendly.

  "It's Anna," Fred mumbled running an agitated hand down his face.

  I smiled and waved back stepping closer to the bed. "How are you feeling, Matty?"

  "I feel great! Dad said he bought two tubs of fudge ice cream at home. Want to come over and share it with me?" I raised my eyebrows and looked for help towards Fred. I didn't want to tell him yes and then never come over. Oh heck, why do I need Fred's permission?

  "Loved to. You name the time and place and I am there." I gave Matty's hand a little squeeze which only made him smile his toothless grin again.

  "Better watch out, Fred. Looks like someone could possibly steal your girl away," Mr. Montgomery chuckled, clasping his oldest son on the shoulder. Fred shook it

  off with a death glare and I blushed.

  I wish he knew that Fred lied about me and him being to
gether. It just hurt to hear someone say it when it wasn't true. Fred got up suddenly and walked over to the bay window that was stationed beside the bed, spreading white light into the rather cheery hospital room. His back was tense as he stood there, brooding muscles working under the shirt he wore, clenching and unclenching in thought. I didn't realize their father was talking again until I heard Matty squeal out in delight.

  "Please come, Fred! We could play with my new motocross set. It's okay with just Dad and I but he doesn't make the sounds right--no offense Dad." It took me a second to figure out that Lawrence brought up Thanksgiving again. He has this all planned out.

  Fred turned around slowly as if he moved to fast he would take out everything with him like a tornado. He shook his head before looking over at me. I wanted him and his father to get along so badly. For someone who doesn't have one, I wouldn't want that for him too. No matter how much of an ass his father is.

  Fred started to explained through gritted teeth that him and I already had plans but I didn't let him finish. I was doing this for him even though I'm sure he will hate me for it in the end. "We can stop by for a while," I suggested. A look of victory came across Lawrence's face at the idea that he won. "But, we can't stay long. We already made other plans."

  I kept my gaze off Fred because I'm sure there was a look of pure fiery on his handsome face. I knew this hurt him but maybe if

  he just went for his brother it wouldn't be so bad. He needed someone, since he won't accept my advances.

  "Great, it's settled," Lawrence said clasping his hands together. "Dinner's at five." I bucked up the courage to look over at Fred only wish that I hadn't. His breathing was labored and he was literally shaking on his feet. He didn't look at me before he strutted across the room and out the door. I followed after him without a single glance towards the other two in the room.

  "Fred, come on. Did you not see how much they wanted you to come?" I caught up to him once he stopped abruptly and turned around to face me.

  "You had no right to do that." Doubt flashed through my mind that he was right, I shouldn't have agreed because he had made it so obvious that he didn't want to go but I couldn't stop the Hallmark card ringing inside my head. They are the only family he has.