Beautiful Life
Page 34
He now laughed and pecked me on the cheek. His phone buzzed a few seconds later and he heaved himself off the bed and reached over to the nightstand to read his incoming text. With a click, he unpowered his phone and settled back down next to me.
I continued to look at him expectantly until he turned his attention back to me.
"What?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Anything important?" I knew I might be coming off as nosy but it was strange. He always got these calls or text where he would check them and then delete them really fast afterwards. Call me a paranoid girlfriend but it didn't settle well with me. Was he tired of me already and had a side chick or something on speed dial?
"That's none of your business," he answered in a clipped tone.
Um, ouch.
I turned back to the movie.
He sighed beside me and shut the laptop, silencing Jeniffer Lawrence's shrieks. "It was just work." "Work," I repeated, testing the word on my tongue.
"Yeah, work. You know, the thing that allows you and me to stay here." He gestured with a flick of his hand around us and I instantly felt bad for not helping out with the rent for my time being here. In fact, I should probably be looking for somewhere else to stay considering I have already been back in New York for a week. Not to mention I told my uncle I could stay at my old dorm to finish the semester. I was just too comfortable here with Fred.
"Can I see where you work sometime?" Clingy, Anna, you're sounding clingy.
"You're looking at it." His eyes were pinned determinedly to my now closed laptop resting on the white bedspread. "Besides, I've already told you what I do." "I know," I said heaving a sigh. "Online marketing. I was just curious." Curiosity killed the cat, remember? My subconscious chided. "And I'm going to find my own place soon. I'm going to spend the weekend at my old dorm with Janet."
With a squeal escaping my mouth, Fred had me pinned underneath him in seconds. "I don't want you moving out." His eyes were on my heavy chest, wide and crazed. "Other than the bags of makeup on the bathroom counter and fruity smelling shower gel, I rather like you occupying my space."
My heart pounded with purpose in my chest. I loved Fred. I wanted to tell him then and there but I held back. I hadn't said those
three words since before break. Part of me was afraid that it would scare him off like before and what we had would really be over this time. The other part liked basking in its independent glory of the feeling.
His face came down closer to mine but I covered his mouth before he could kiss me. His eyes shot up in confusion which only made me giggle again.
"Let's just talk." I removed my hand and fixed the hair brushing his forehead away from his face. "Talk? Right now?" His eyes remained wide and his mouth hung open slightly in shock. He grinded himself against me and I couldn't help but laugh. I brought his head back down to mine and started what we do best.
* * * * * Fred and I stayed in his bed for a week straight. We talked, watched movies, made love so many different ways I began to lose sight on which was north and south. The thought of leaving this bed made me want to sob.
The beautiful New York air was dry and chilled me to the bone as I walked across campus and I worshipped it. I was so happy to be back in this city, to be back at NYU, that I was still in my own happy bubble that I didn't hear my name being called across the court. I snapped my head to the left to see Sydney making her way over to me. This was a big campus, how did she even find me?
"I see you're back," she said once she reached me, eyes tilted down and nose pinned up. Wow, she was observant.
I nodded and hitched my book bag tighter over my shoulder. By the way her eyes flashed around us I could tell she wasn't happy to see me. That didn't make me feel too bad considering the fact that I wasn't too thrilled seeing her either. "Look, let's cut this nice crap, okay?" Sydney took a step closer to me. "Stay away from Fred. I know you two became friends and all since you got here, but he's not interested in you. He and I go way back and I can assure you he'd choose me over someone like you every time. Just wanted to make that clear."
Even though I haven't told anyone about me moving in with Fred, except for Janet who hasn't spoken to anyone because she has had horrible morning sickness for the past month, it still annoyed me that Fred hasn't told anyone either by the sound of it.
The dramatics she was throwing on the table was enough to make me want to laugh. Really, what was this, a soap opera?
"Is that it?" I asked. I was clenching my teeth so tightly my head was starting to hurt. Fred and I were together. We may not have told every soul that walked by, considering the fact that we barely left the apartment since coming to this conclusion but still. Whether he or I told people or not, that didn't change things. I wanted, at this moment in time, to rub this in Sydney's pinched face. Part of me was still scared that since arriving back in New York, Fred would decide that he didn't want this and would toss me aside for the first long-legged blonde that he set eyes on. But as long as I got him, I was going to cling ahold of him for dear life.
Sydney scoffed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears when the wind carried it across her flawless face. "You have it down, don't you?" "Excuse me?"
"This
nice girl act." She shook her head mockingly, an excuse for a smile on her face. "Ever since Janet decided to take you in as a lost puppy, you have really milked this pure, innocent, all-American act. I see right through it though, I can assure you that."
"What did I do to you?" I wanted to know. "What changed since our first encounter?" Sydney scoffed and shook her head in a way that told me she was fed up with me. "I pegged you for a lesbian when I first met you, remember? I stayed silent because that wasn't the way that I remembered it.
"Fred always liked adding a second girl into the mix. He's very good at multitasking."
It was cold and it was Monday and I didn't want to be late for my first class of this semester just to be insulted by Sydney. I pivoted on my heels and started to walk away. She had the nerve! I've never met someone as conniving and down right mean as her. But there were Sydney's everywhere in this world and I needed to suck it up and keep my priorities straight. Get my education and beat those Sydney's in the world.
It wasn't just that she was mean. Not exactly. It was the she knew what Fred was like sexually. She had sex multiple times with my boyfriend and she wasn't afraid to rub it in my face. Yes, it was before we were officially a couple--that was still so crazy to say--but I still hated it. I hated that the field wasn't even.
I hated that he
was my first but I most definitely wasn't his.
"Hey, Anna, wait!"
I would have ignored the plea if it didn't come from Fred himself. I turned back around to see him jogging up the path, clutching a textbook in his hand. He looked confusedly at Sydney, as I'm sure I looked at him, before continuing his way to me. I avoided eye contact until he was right in front of me because I'm sure my eyes were a little watery because I was a baby.
But before he reached me, Sydney intercepted. "Fred, how was your christmas?" She fondled with the wool collar of his Patet as she pressed her body tightly against his. A twitch in my hand wanted me to yank her off him.
His eyes darted to me before he removed her hands from him. "It was fine. Uh, Anna--" He wrenched himself out of her grip and strolled over to me as I stood there trying to keep my heart from pounding out of my chest with frustration towards that blonde witch.
"You forgot this on the nightstand." He held out my Bio II textbook. I was aware that he said this loud enough for Sydney to hear.
"My hero," I mumbled, my heartbeat slowing and a small smile spread across my face. "Thank you." His finger went under my chin and tilted it up until I was eye level with him. This was his first real gesture of PDA since we arrived back in the city. It dulled the pain pinching in my chest. "You okay?" I nodded my head quickly and took a step backwards towards the buildings. "Thanks for Annanging me my book. I owe you."
It felt like a balloon was inflating in my chest as I watched Sydney react. It was one thing to be prideful but it was another thing to be filled with pride. It felt good.
Trying my hardest not to laugh out loud, I turned around with my textbook in hand and rushed off to class.
Fred POV I waited behind a tree until I saw that Anna was out of sight. I then stormed over to the bench where Sydney sat with her legs cross and her phone in hand no doubt texting her little rats about what she just saw.
Part of me wanted to keep Anna and me a secret still. It was simple when people didn't ask questions or feel the need to be in my business but another part of me, a part much stronger, wanted everyone to know that she was mine. It was strange what feelings could be brought out of you when it involved another person you cared about.
"What did you say to her?" I asked aloud. Her head snapped in my direction and her face instantly flushed.
"What do you mean?" She stood up and popped her hip which she does when she wants to make her ass look bigger.
I gritted my teeth together. I was really not in this mood for this shit.
"Don't play stupid." Though it's not hard for you to do. "You upset Anna in some way. What did you say? I mean it Sydney you better--"
"What is it you see in her?" She graded through her teeth, her voice going unattractively pitched. "She's weak, Fred. She can't handle your baggage. Does she even know you? The real you?" "I am real with her, not that's it's any of your damn business. She does know me. But I swear Sydney, if you say anything to her--" "Oh, would you chill? I won't," she assured me with a smirk. "That would ruin the fun when she finds out you're a lowlife who is only acting the way she wants you to for your own gain. This act won't last long. You're both delusional. You're just going to hurt her and she is going to hurt you. You have to know that that will happen, Fred. Don't be dumb."
I may be in a lot of fights but never have I hit a woman and I was going to keep it that way but in that moment I could have. Just the thought of Anna leaving me made me blind and my chest hurt so badly I wanted to double over. I finally had something good in my life and I wasn't about to let anyone take that away from me.
I once said I couldn't breathe the same air as her for too long but now I couldn't breathe unless she was around. "I mean it , Syd. Stay away from her." I left before anyone could see us fighting. I left before I took my anger out on the first person that passed by. I wanted to run and find Anna and demand her to come back home with me so we could stay in our bubble, where my demons won't haunt her and obligations won't sneak up and attack the both of us.
I now knew she had her own demons but mine were more present than hers.
I walked back to my car and turned the key in the ignition. Driving seemed to calm me down some because by the time I got back to my apartment my mind seemed clearer. Catching sight of the boxes filled with Anna's belongings, I rushed over and unpacked every piece of clothing and every object. Having her things mixed in with mine officially made it our apartment. Just the thought of sharing this place officially with Anna made me want to call it home for the first time.
I didn't want her to find another place.
I searched for her laptop and when I found it, hid it under the kitchen sink. She would never look there to find it.
I almost wanted to laugh at myself. Wow, I was becoming more pathetic by the second. Though I once gagged at the sight of Elmer pondering and claiming to be in love with his soon to be baby mama, I got it now. I would do anything for Annaanna Raine. And that included doing everything in my power to make her feel happy and keep her by my side. Then I would be happy too.
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37
I went straight to my old dorm once classes were over. Janet was waiting by the door, a big smile on her face when she opened it and saw me. "It's so good to see you!" She squealed pulling me into a hug. I was getting used to people touching me and I think it had a lot to do with Fred. It didn't matter if it was an intimate touch or not, he always found a way to either rub my thigh when we were sitting watching tv or wrap his arms around my middle when we were just standing. It was the little things.
"You too." I pulled back and looked down at her stomach. Because she was so naturally skinny, she was already peeking out from under her tight red shirt. Either she ate a lot over the last two months or she was farther along than she believed.
Janet brought a hand up to her face and sighed. "Don't even say anything. I'm a whale and I'm not even out of the first trimester."
I laughed and walked inside the cozy college apartment. I set my bag on the circular kitchen table like old times.
"You're glowing," I observed and she was. Her dark toned skin shine Annaghter and more vibrate under her rosy cheeks.
"No, that's just the grease from the cheeseburger I just snarfed down two seconds ago." Janet walked past me and over to the fridge to grab a water, tossing one to me before she sat down on the couch. "First things first, young lady," she began, putting on a faux serious face. "You and Fred are official, huh." "How do you know about that?" I can't say I am surprised. Janet knows everything. I also couldn't keep the smile from spreading across my
face. She rolled her eyes and rested her elbow on the back on the couch. "I'm dating his best friend, you doorknob. Of course I know. It kind of gave it away when he practically broke down my door wondering what the hell was going on when you ran away."
"I did not run away." My mouth fell open and I had the sudden urge to laugh. Because let's face it; I ran away. Janet scoffed and ran a hand absentmindedly over her midsection. "You should have seen his face when I said you weren't coming back. About delivered this baby that second from the sheer shock that he would die in front of me. That's when I knew things were more serious between you two than you both were letting on."
It was strange hearing another side of the story of how and why Fred chased me to Iowa. I have to admit it made me feel all warm inside.
"Also that fact that you're back sorta gave it away." She nudged my shoulder playfully and I couldn't help but giggle. "You can say that." I couldn't stop smiling. Mostly it was because Janet wouldn't stop smiling knowingly at me but Fred also made me happy. So damn happy that it was almost too good to be true. I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"So," she nudged me again. I narrowed my eyes at her. "Tell me more, Annaanna!"
And so I did. I told her everything from start to finish. She had become my New York Katy and it dulled the ache of missing a friend with her around. Her and Katy were polar opposites; dark vs light, brunette vs blonde, city vs country. The only thing they had in common was their personality.
Wild and carefree. "I should get home," I said with a yawn once the sun went down and our hair went up. I longed to walked ten feet and fall asleep in my old room but I would have tripped over all the boxes stacked everywhere. I commented on this.
"Oh," Janet said with a flick of her wrist. "Elmer and I decided NYU was not the atmosphere to raise a crying baby so his parents rented a place close by for both of us to live in. Elmer can finish classes for graduation this spring and I can be close for his sake."
"So you're not staying in school?" I asked, already knowing the answer to that. I didn't blame her. It would be very, very hard.
She shook her head with a sad look on her face. "I don't see how I could. I am, however, finishing the semester. Who knows, I could always start up again when the baby is older."
"How did your parents take the news? I'm sure you've told them." Janet's eyes went sad and my heart ached for her. "Not so good." She went quiet after that I figured it was my time to leave. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her tiny shoulders. Her body was still small
in structure which lead me to encase her with most of my body.
"I can't wait for this little bean to be born," I said pulling back and smiling at her. A giant smile stretched across her face as well, making her glow. "Me too. And hey, I guess that means you might be able to get this place back now that there is one more opening. The girl was supposed to move in here last week but I think I scared her off with the whole pregant-emotional thing because she's never here."
I thought about it for only a second. It would be nice to be here again but I didn't want to leave Fred's place. I knew that if I thought rationally about this I should move back in if I got the chance. But rationality didn't exactly have room when it came to my thoughts on Fred. Love wasn't rational.
"I'll see what I can do," I half lied. I got up and grabbed my bag from the table, pulling out my phone to see a text from Fred. It said that he went out and would be back later tonight. I sent him a quick 'okay' before I reached for the door.
"Oh, and Anna," Janet shouted before I shut the door. "Don't mention Bean to Elmer. He still has Rudolph on the brain and I don't want to give him any more ideas to embarrass our child for years to come."
I laughed all the way back to Fred's apartment. When I turned the key into the door, I was saddened to see that the place was still dark and there was no sign of Fred being home. I wish he would have given a time to when 'later' was because I hated being alone here. It was a nice complex but the thought of someone breaking in and murdering me still lingered in my brain very vividly.
I decided because Fred wasn't around to keep me entertained with stupid tales about his day or annoyingly bothering me when I was most busy, I would work on some homework. I went to the place where I last put my laptop to start but it wasn't there.
I searched high and low for the thing but it was nowhere to be found. Not wanting to bother Fred while he was out I ignored the need to ask him where it was at. I didn't want to be one of those girls that couldn't
do anything herself but had to have the help of the boyfriend. The hours ticked by and I was getting aggravated with the misplacement of my things. I sat down frustrated and wrote my notes with a pen and paper like the olden days. On my seventeenth page of writing, my pen started getting funky.