What She Does Next Will Astound You

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What She Does Next Will Astound You Page 19

by Patrick Ness


  ‘No.’

  ‘But that’s Coal Hill,’ said Ram. ‘So much to ignore, to deal with silently.’

  ‘How long do you think we’ll be able to cope?’

  Ram shrugged.

  April watched a kid kicking a ball around the yard. No one joined in. ‘Who’d kidnap kids and do that to them?’

  ‘Charlie says Miss Quill knows more than she’s letting on, like who’s behind it.’ Ram sounded like he didn’t really trust either of them. ‘But is that . . . I mean, does it matter? Like I doubt we can sue them. Or that they’d even notice.’

  April looked again at the playground. ‘It’s changed, you know,’ she said. ‘It’s more subdued.’ A sad echo chimed in her head, of her dad after he’d been drinking. ‘Notice, they’re all being more cautious.’

  ‘I guess,’ Ram conceded. ‘I keep checking Facebook, but I’m not posting anything on it. No one really is—everyone’s being . . .’

  ‘Really, really cautious,’ April said. ‘No bragging, no videos, no food. It’s like a go-slow.’

  ‘Will no one think of the cats?’ Ram asked, and they smiled at each other.

  ‘Not so bad.’

  ‘Not really, no. Guess not.’

  They stood in silence, watching the yard. They got ready to head in, to start another day, one that would no doubt start off innocently enough and end in death and aliens.

  Anyway, that was today, and it hadn’t started yet.

  A kid on a mountain bike whipped past them, did a stunt swerve, then another, and, at the last minute, bumped up against the curve. The bike balanced there on one wheel, just for a moment.

  A dozen phones whipped up, all eager to catch the moment as the bike slowly arced backwards, crashing to the ground, landing on the rider, who rolled groaning around in the gravel. No one helped him, they just filmed.

  ‘Too good to last,’ said April.

  ‘Yeah,’ agreed Ram.

  They went and started today.

  Excerpt from “For Tonight We Might Die”

  TURN THE PAGE

  for an excerpt from the Class pilot episode,

  “For Tonight We Might Die,”

  created and written by Patrick Ness!

  10:02:28 INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL - ATRIUM - DAY 2; 08:51

  APRIL picks up a torn-down prom poster and re-tapes it to the wall. TANYA watches her.

  10:02:29 CAPTION ‘FOR TONIGHT WE MIGHT DIE WRITTEN BY PATRICK NESS’

  APRIL

  Tanya, are you coming to help decorate later? I need volunteers.

  TANYA

  My mum says I’m too young.

  10:02:34 MUSIC OUT ARCTIC MONKEYS - BLACK TREACLE

  10:02:35 CAPTION ‘PRODUCER DEREK RITCHIE’

  APRIL

  But it’s for Year 12, so technically you qualify despite, you know . . . being like? Two years ahead? How old are you anyway?

  10:02:41 CAPTION ‘DIRECTOR ED BAZLEGETTE’

  TANYA

  Because that question never gets old.

  CHARLIE passes them. They watch him go.

  APRIL

  I think I’m going to ask Charlie to the prom.

  TANYA

  And you just made us fail the Bechdel Test—

  APRIL

  The what? You’re funny.

  TANYA

  Besides, I don’t think the new kid is in to wait. Prom is tomorrow. You don’t have a date yet?

  Caught, APRIL starts moving away, changes subject:

  APRIL

  So that’s a yes to helping me decorate?

  TANYA watches her go, shaking her head, feeling for APRIL as everyone does. But behind TANYA—

  A strange, ominous shadow passes, quickly. Did we see that?

  CUT TO:

  10:03:04 INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL - MAIN CORRIDOR - DAY 2; 08:53

  APRIL talks to CHARLIE. He’s looking around surreptitiously, as if trying to find something.

  CHARLIE

  But how would one dress?

  APRIL

  Well, the boys wear dinner jackets and the girls wear ball gowns, but we totally don’t need to be that gender-specific—

  CHARLIE spots the SCORCH MARKS on the linoleum floor coming out from under their classroom door. MISS QUILL passes, two steps ahead of MR ARMITAGE, Headteacher, harried, exhausted.

  MR ARMITAGE

  I don’t know what they did in your last job, but chaperoning

  MISS QUILL

  (crisply)

  I am not a baby-sitter.

  MR ARMITAGE

  Except . . . you kind of are . . .

  10:03:22 MUSIC IN 1M01B

  They pass, CHARLIE and APRIL watch them go.

  10:03:27 MUSIC OUT 1M01B

  APRIL

  Anyway, about the prom, I was thinking that maybe you and I could you know

  CHARLIE

  (polite but firm)

  Oh, no. I shouldn’t think so.

  CHARLIE heads after MISS QUILL. APRIL watches him go, stung.

  RAM

  (passing by)

  That was painful.

  RAM disappears into the classroom where CHARLIE went.

  CUT TO:

  10:03:50 INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL - MISS QUILL’S CLASSROOM - DAY 2; 09:02

  MISS QUILL looms into frame.

  MISS QUILL

  Look at you all. The cream of the crop. High achievers. It’s no wonder this country only exports Downton Abbey.

  Our four—APRIL, TANYA, RAM and CHARLIE—sit by each other in a room full of classmates.

  APRIL

  (at her desk, quietly)

  I like Downton Abbey.

  TANYA

  Of course you like it. It’s a bunch of white people being nice to each other.

  RAM

  You’d watch it if Idris Elba were on it.

  CHARLIE, overhearing, takes out his phone to type in a search, “Idris Elba—” It’s yanked out of his hand by MISS QUILL!

  MISS QUILL

  Cheating already, Charles?

  CHARLIE

  . . . you haven’t actually taught us anything yet—

  Search says “Idris Elba is an English actor, musician, voice actor and DJ.”

  MISS QUILL

  True. How about our first lesson of the day?

  Drops the phone. There’s a crack.

  MISS QUILL (CONT’D)

  Your teacher has awful butter fingers.

  She picks up the phone, hands it back to CHARLIE. The glass display is smashed.

  APRIL

  You can’t do that! That’s his private property!

  MISS QUILL’S laser focus shifts to APRIL.

  MISS QUILL

  April MacLean. The answer to the question, Are spinsters born or made? You got a date for the prom yet?

  TANYA

  I am pretty sure you are not allowed to ask that!

  RAM

  (arrogant)

  I’ve got a date.

  MISS QUILL

  But of course you do, Ram. The boy who hears silent applause every time he walks into a room.

  She turns back to the front and writes an impossibly difficult PHYSICS equation on the board.

  MISS QUILL (CONT’D)

  Solve it. Don’t look so pained, Matteusz.

  The class, cowed, starts baffled work. Our four struggle.

  RAM

  Is this even in the book?

  APRIL

  I honestly think she makes this stuff up.

  TANYA

  It’s the Gibbs probability density in a classical Klein-Gordon Field.

  They stare at her.

  TANYA (CONT’D)

  Well, it is.

  RAM

  We’re not supposed to understand it. She just wants us to feel stupid.

  I’ll bet she ate that missing kid.

  CHARLIE

  He was eaten?

  RAM

  (exasperated)

  Where are you from, anyway? You sound like the Queen.


  CHARLIE

  (beat, flatly)

  I’m from Sheffield.

  RAM

  Why am I even talking to you geeks?

  MISS QUILL

  Don’t make me put you in detention, Ram. You wouldn’t like it.

  They return to their work. CHARLIE catches the eye of MATTEUSZ sitting a few rows up, who makes a hair-pulling gesture at the physics problem. CHARLIE smiles. Then he types into his phone’s smashed screen, “Monkeys of the arctic . . .”

  10:05:38 MUSIC IN ARCTIC MONKEYS - BLACK TREACLE

  CUT TO:

  10:05:41 EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL - FRONT - DAY 2; 15:35

  The school day is ending. APRIL stands outside the school entrance with flyers, trying to catch the attention of passing students.

  APRIL

  Big decoration tonight! All volunteers are welcome. Big decoration tonight! Autumn ball. All volunteers are welcome. All volunteers are welcome. Big decoration tonight. Need your . . . Come and help me, anyone.

  CHARLIE approaches her.

  10:06:05 MUSIC OUT ARCTIC MONKEYS - BLACK TREACLE

  CHARLIE

  Having a date to the prom is important, yes?

  APRIL

  (looking hopeful)

  Yeah—

  CHARLIE

  I shall ask Matteusz as my date.

  APRIL

  Matteusz? Oh. Ohhhhh—

  CHARLIE

  Is this not right?

  APRIL

  No! No, no

  CHARLIE

  The schools in Sheffield were very different—

  APRIL

  No! It’s great! It’s fantastic. It totally makes sense.

  (little clap)

  Good for you!

  CHARLIE

  Thank you.

  He nods at her and heads off.

  APRIL

  Okay.

  (to herself, sad)

  Of course he is. Of course.

  CUT TO:

  10:06:38 EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL - FOOTBALL PITCH - DAY 2; 16:00

  10:06:38 MUSIC IN 1M02

  RAM practises drills with the school football TEAM. COACH DAWSON (huge, young, gorgeous) runs the drills. VARUN watches from the sidelines.

  RACHEL (pretty, brunette, bitchy) arrives to watch, too. A mousy PAIR OF GIRLS flee from her. RAM sees her, waves. She waves back. VARUN notices and frowns.

  The sun is out, casting SHADOWS on the field. RAM pushes the ball past defenders. He’s superb, particularly the way he dodges and fakes out other players.

  But just as he’s about to strike it into the goal, he sees the shadow of one TEAMMATE JUMP to the shadow of another. The ball is stolen off him easily, and the rest of the team runs the other way, Ram left standing, wondering what he saw.

  RACHEL

  Ram!

  COACH DAWSON

  What the hell was what?

  RAM

  Coach

  COACH DAWSON

  Twenty laps. Now.

  RAM

  What for?

  COACH DAWSON

  Twenty-five.

  Let’s get a move on.

  Annoyed, RAM sets off. He sees VARUN glaring at RACHEL.

  10:07:28 MUSIC OUT 1M02

  CUT TO:

  10:07:29 EXT. STREET - DAY 2; 16:05

  TANYA walks home alone, singing to herself, throwing in some dance moves. She’s just a kid, after all. She passes a MISSING POSTER for KEVIN, the Sixth-Form Student from the opening.

  We see her SHADOW behind her. It STARTS TO GROW, stretching abnormally, twisting into different SHAPES, threatening ones—

  TANYA stops, looking guilty.

  10:07:33 MUSIC IN 1M03

  10:07:41 MUSIC OUT 1M03

  TANYA

  No. No. Why would you help decorate for something you can’t even go to?

  (sags)

  Because that sad individual is probably the only chance you have at a friend.

  She sighs, turns around to head back to school AND SEES A TERRIFYING SHADOW SHAPE LOOMING OVER HER!

  She screams and runs as fast as she can—

  The SHADOW comes after her—

  10:07:54 MUSIC IN 1M04

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  About the Authors

  PATRICK NESS is the creator of the BBC television series Class and the author of ten novels and a short story collection. He’s best known for his books for young adults, including his New York Times bestselling novel The Rest of Us Just Live Here, the acclaimed Chaos Walking trilogy, More Than This, and the Carnegie Medal–winning A Monster Calls. A Monster Calls was released as a major motion picture—with the screenplay by Patrick himself—starring Liam Neeson and Sigourney Weaver. Born in Virginia, Patrick lives in London.

  www.patrickness.com

  JAMES GOSS is the author of two Doctor Who novels: The Blood Cell and Dead of Winter as well as Summer Falls (on behalf of Amy Pond). He is also the coauthor, with Steve Tribe, of Doctor Who: The Doctor’s Lives and Times, Doctor Who: The Dalek Handbook, and Doctor Who: A History of the Universe in 100 Objects. While at the BBC, James produced an adaptation of Shada, an unfinished Douglas Adams Doctor Who story, and Dirk is his award-winning stage adaptation of Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. His Doctor Who audiobook Dead Air won Best Audiobook 2010 from the Audiobook Store and his books Dead of Winter and Torchwood: First Born were both nominated for the 2012 British Fantasy Society Awards.

  Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.

  Books by Patrick Ness and James Goss

  Class: The Stone House

  Class: Joyride

  Class: What She Does Next Will Astound You

  Books by Patrick Ness

  The Rest of Us Just Live Here

  Release

  Copyright

  HarperTeen is an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.

  CLASS: WHAT SHE DOES NEXT WILL ASTOUND YOU. Copyright © 2016 by James Goss. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  www.epicreads.com

  Cover photographs by Shutterstock

  Cover design by www.headdesign.co.uk

  * * *

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2017943586

  Digital Edition MARCH 2018 ISBN: 978-0-06-266625-3

  Print ISBN: 978-0-06-266623-9

  * * *

  18 19 20 12 22 PC/LSCH 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  Published by arrangement with Woodland Books, a division of The Random House Group, Ltd.

  Originally published in the UK in 2016 by BBC Books, an imprint of Ebury Publishing

  First US Edition, 2018

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