Pretending Hearts

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Pretending Hearts Page 13

by Topham Wood, Heather


  My brother was stubborn, so I wasn’t surprised when he starting practicing with his team less than a week after his injury and got medical clearance soon after to play in the team’s upcoming games.

  After Levi’s dinner invitation, I called Casey for her advice. Should I take the invitation to meet his family as a sign of his intentions? Was it just dinner? I didn’t want to go into battle unprepared. Levi and his mom were obviously close and winning her over could help encourage our slow-moving relationship along.

  Casey insisted guys never let a girl meet their mothers unless a wedding was in the future. Although I didn’t take her statement to heart, I did hope Levi was coming to care for me. Was the dinner a sign he was open to the possibility of the two of us being more than friends?

  The way his eyes raked over me when he picked me up at the apartment once again convinced me I wasn’t simply projecting my feelings onto him. I felt a little thrill of anticipation as he dragged his eyes away from my legs back to my face. I had dressed conservatively in a black skirt and gray sweater, but still showed off a little skin by skipping the leggings.

  Levi swallowed visibly. “You look nice.” He flipped his hair out of his face and seemed to regain his composure. “But you didn’t have to dress up. Dinner is usually casual at my house.”

  I did feel a little overdressed when I noted he was wearing khakis and a t-shirt, but I decided to play it off. I shrugged. “The outfit isn’t new. I just don’t have a lot of opportunities to wear any of my nicer clothes.”

  I felt the buzz of anticipation as he moved closer. My body warmed all over and I wondered how I’d get through the night without jumping on top of him and trying to kiss him into oblivion. “Well, I’m lucky you felt the opportunity was tonight,” he said softly and tucked a strand of my blonde hair behind my ear. “Ready to go?”

  I nodded dumbly and knew at the second, I’d agree to follow him anywhere.

  He led me to his car and once inside his dark blue Honda Civic, I ventured an uneasy smile. “So, anything I should know about your mom before tonight?”

  His laugh was uneasy. “My mom is kind of old-fashioned. Her parents came over from Sicily when she was a baby and according to my mom, they just about had a stroke when she married an Irish union guy. The fact he was Catholic had been his one saving grace to my grandparents.”

  “My family is the opposite of conservative,” I said. My hands curled around the edge of the passenger seat. “Is that going to be a problem for her?”

  “Have you met my brothers?” he asked sarcastically. “She would consider it tasteless to dig up skeletons from someone’s past. The only real rules she wants me and my brothers to follow are to attend church on holidays, no cursing at the dinner table and to visit our grandparents in the nursing home once a month.”

  “How well do Cole and Evan follow these rules?”

  “Shockingly not well,” he said.

  “Well, I like the sound of a normal family dinner,” I said. “Thanksgiving at home is going to be chock full of dysfunction.”

  He gave me a questioning look. “Why is that?”

  “I have to split my time between my mom and dad. My mom had been planning to invite my dad over, but after the story broke about Blake and Autumn…” I trailed off.

  “Dredged up too many bad memories?”

  “The funny thing is she publicly forgave him for the affair immediately after his arrest. But I wonder if she ever truly let her hurt go. Maybe all the time her pain was festering and her resentment has only been building up to a crescendo,” I said.

  “Just don’t let them drag you into their issues. You’re not a kid anymore and they can’t force you to pick sides,” he said. “And neither can your brother. Blake made his choice and that’s on him. You shouldn’t feel like you’ll lose him if you don’t share his beliefs about your dad.”

  “What about your dad? Were you close?”

  “I don’t want to talk about my dad,” he said flatly. At my puzzled look, he added, “Don’t take offense. Talking about my father is something I avoid. Besides, I want us to have a fun night and talking about him would only sour the mood.”

  “Levi, you can tell me anything,” I said insistently.

  I had hit a nerve. For the first time, I noticed his confidence slip. He cast me a sidelong glance. “I know that. And maybe we will talk about him, but just not tonight.”

  I accepted his answer because I had a feeling not to push. Looking at Levi’s tattooed arms, I could see the physical proof of what his father meant to him. On his left forearm, he had a tattoo of the steel workers emblem accompanied by the Roman numerals representing the date his father died. His right arm had a half-sleeve of tribal art while his left arm was tattooed with a set of drumsticks emblazed with the Trojan Jedi logo. Relentlessly, I teased him over the fact he could never change his band name.

  I relaxed and enjoyed the silence between us. Despite the earlier tension, I wouldn’t try a quick subject change. There was no need to fill the space with meaningless words. I could sit next to Levi and feel comfortable. I never had that with anyone before. I’d always been on edge. Worrying about how I looked—obsessively checking for a hair out of place. Also, there was the constant fear I’d say the wrong thing and let the guy see beneath the surface.

  Ten minutes later, Levi pulled in front of a small, cozy-looking house. The houses in the neighborhood were older models with a lot of weathering, but I got a good vibe from the area. Most of the houses were in various stages of decoration for the upcoming holidays. Levi’s house was a cape cod-style and a huge fall wreath was hung on the front door. On the porch, there was also a brown wicker horn-of-plenty overflowing with gourds and small pumpkins.

  Levi paused for a minute to shout a hello to a pair of elderly women who were sitting on the porch across the street. They motioned him over, but he waved them off and put a hand on the small of my back. With gentle pressure, he steered me toward the front door. He whispered conspiratorially, “Don’t make eye contact with the Chelsea sisters. They’ll get their claws into you and never let you go.”

  I giggled and although I was still feeling jumpy about meeting his mom, I didn’t let it get to me. “Friends of yours?”

  “They’ve been trying to set me up with their granddaughter for years now. Although she’s told them over and over again that she’s a lesbian. She’s even brought her girlfriend over their house repeatedly to meet them.” He shook his head.

  “That’s pretty absurd to think she’ll change her sexual orientation.”

  “No kidding. But the Chelsea sisters get away with having no filter by claiming they're eccentric,” he said.

  He opened the front door and held it open so I could walk through. The hallway was quiet, but I could hear loud voices carry from the back of the house. To the left of the hallway was a formal dining room with shelves holding an assortment of knick-knacks and photos of the Caldwell brothers in different ages. A mixture of artwork hung on the wall: a collection of maps from Italy interspersed with childhood drawings. There was so much life in the house. My mom kept the walls sterile as a way to shield us from painful memories.

  Before I could closely examine the pictures of Levi, he was signaling for me to follow him further into the house. At the entrance of the kitchen, I prepared myself to come face to face with his mom. Instead, I spotted his brothers seated at the small kitchen table in the center of the room.

  “Cole, 501 and his girl are here!” Evan announced.

  I whispered to Levi, “501?”

  “Like the jeans,” Levi said, frowning briefly at the absurdity of his brothers' nickname for him, then shaking his head. Addressing his brothers, he said, “Where’s Mom?”

  “She had to go to the store for a couple of last minute things. We’re manning her gravy until she gets back,” Cole said and held up his beer bottle to gesture over to the stove.

  Levi obviously had little faith in his brothers because he immediately went o
ver to the stove and lifted up the cover of a saucepan. He stirred the sauce and after replacing the cover, set the flame to a simmer.

  “What’s cracking, college girl?” Evan asked with an arrogant grin. The twins didn’t share the quiet confidence of their brother. They were charmed with good looks and had no problem using them to get what they wanted.

  “Not much,” I said. “What’s cracking with you two?”

  Evan rubbed the stubble on his chin. “Same old for us too. Building bridges, breaking beds….”

  Cole chuckled and gave his twin a high five. I may have been only eighteen, but I was relieved I had learned to stay away from guys like Cole and Evan. I was comforted that Levi didn’t see his brothers as role models and didn't share the same level of emotional maturity.

  A car horn bleated from outside the house and halted my comeback. The twins stayed still and looked expectantly at Levi. Levi clenched his fists at his sides. “Are the two of you going to help Mom with the bags?”

  “You’re the favorite, 501,” Cole said. He pointed at me as he added, “Besides, we want to get to know your girlfriend a little better.”

  Levi didn’t correct his brother’s assumption that I was his girlfriend. Instead, he shot them both a dark look and stomped to the entrance of the house. As I watched him leave, I sank into one of the vacated chairs at the kitchen table. I could feel Cole and Evan’s eyes on me before I turned to face them.

  “Yes?”

  Cole folded his hands in front of him on the table. “We’ve been curious about the deal with you and our baby bro.”

  “The deal?” I hoped to hold them off by responding to their questions with my own questions. If I delayed them long enough, Levi would return and shut them up.

  “Yup. Levi says the two of you are only friends, but I’m calling bullshit,” Evan said.

  “And why is that?”

  “Because you want him,” Cole said simply.

  “And how exactly can you tell that?”

  “Well, each time he looks at you, your eyelashes start to flutter and your face gets all dreamy. Kind of looks like an orgasm face to me,” Cole said with a laugh.

  “Gah, you two are the biggest misogynistic pigs—”

  Evan held up his palms. “Whoa, slow down there. Why are you so offended?”

  “Yeah, don’t you like our brother?”

  “I didn’t say that—”

  “Because if you don’t want him, there are plenty of girls that do,” Cole said.

  “Yes, the Caldwell cock is legendary in these parts,” Evan added. “And Levi will even date you after! He’ll take you to the movies, buy you dinner and shit.”

  “He’s a good kid. You’d be crazy not to give him a chance,” Cole said.

  “Come on, what’s the problem? You gotta give us something. Is he not rich enough? Is it because he’s not one of those prepster college boys from Cook?” Evan demanded.

  Cole broke in. “You’re not shallow, right? Are you ashamed to be seen dating the school janitor?”

  “Because our bro is going places. You’ll be kicking yourself in five years when Levi is on tour and you see him in concert. You’ll think about how you passed on him because you didn’t think he was good enough for you,” Evan said.

  Cole smiled and revealed a set of dimples. “Dude, you totally stole that story from the song 'Sk8er Boi.'”

  Evan and Cole’s joined laughter pushed me over the edge. “Will the two of you please shut the fuck up?” I demanded.

  A cough from the doorway froze me in place. If I could dissolve into nothingness at the second, I would’ve gladly seized the opportunity. My head spun around on its own accord. A short plump woman with dark eyes and an olive complexion was observing me from the doorway of the kitchen. She grimaced as I made eye contact.

  “Hi Mom,” Evan chirped, as he and Cole bowled over in laughter. I was glad to see my humiliation had added to their hilarity.

  Levi glided past his mother and placed a grocery bag on the counter. “You two are assholes,” he said to his brothers.

  “Language, Levi,” his mom hissed.

  I stood up and tried not to fall over as my knees threatened to give out. I held out my hand. “So nice to meet you, Mrs. Caldwell. I’m Delia.”

  “Sorry about my boys. They forget their manners from time to time,” she said and shook my hand. I was starting to believe Cole and Evan never had any manners in the first place. Mrs. Caldwell continued, “I made macaroni with gravy. I have some sausage to fry up too.”

  Since my diet had consisted of Lean Cuisine frozen food entrees, I was excited to have a home-cooked meal. But Levi’s brothers had twisted my stomach into knots. Although his mom was being nice, I was sure I hadn’t endeared myself to her by dropping the f-bomb before even being properly introduced.

  “Hopefully you’ll actually eat more than that chick Cole brought over last month,” Evan said. “My mom made this big spread since Cole never brings girls home.”

  Cole blurted, “At least never through the front door.”

  “And the girl says she hasn’t eaten carbs in three years. I think the only thing on the table without carbs was lettuce,” Evan continued.

  Levi’s brothers and mom were staring at me, obviously waiting for my reaction. I had a feeling I’d be burned at the stake if I didn’t say I was pro-carb. “I love pasta,” I declared enthusiastically.

  Mrs. Caldwell gave me her first genuine smile. “Wonderful. Why don’t you and Levi set the table while I finish up in the kitchen?”

  I nodded, grateful for a reprieve from his brothers. Handing me a pile of silverware, Levi then grabbed a pile of dishes already set on the counter. He whispered in my ear, “Sorry about my brothers. I hope they didn’t scare you off.”

  I almost laughed at the absurdity of the statement. “I’m tough. I have a feeling they’re testing me.”

  “They are. When I became friends with Rain and brought her to dinner, they kept at it until Rain shoved her heel into Evan’s foot and promised Cole that his crotch was next,” he said, smiling at the memory.

  I felt the smile fall off my face. Hearing Rain had come by for dinner before was a little disappointing. I didn’t want him to share the same platonic feelings with me and have him assume I was fine with being friend-zoned.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, picking up on my sudden quiet.

  “We talked about being friends and I like having you as a friend. You’re kind and funny and you’ve come into my life at the exact time I needed someone like you,” I said with a blush heating my cheeks.

  “But?”

  “But I like you,” I whispered, glancing over my shoulder to ensure his family was still out of hearing distance. “I like you in a very non-friend way.”

  His lips quirked in surprise. “I like you too.”

  “Okay,” I said with uncertainty coating my voice. “How exactly do you like me? Do you like me in a way where you’ll willingly hold back my hair after too many shots of tequila? Or in a way where you want to discover if I’m hiding any secret birthmarks on my body?”

  Levi blushed. “I like getting to know you and I don’t want to be your rebound guy. I probably should be more vocal about how I feel about you, but that’s not me. I’m the drummer… the one who goes unnoticed in the background.”

  I let out a surprised guffaw. “Are you serious? You most definitely do not fade into the background.”

  Levi was a wonder. He had no idea how most of the women at his shows weren’t aiming for his brothers when they were tossing their thongs on stage. Levi was the complete package: gorgeous, smart and talented.

  “Well… thanks,” he murmured. He started to say more, but stopped when his mom called out from the other room.

  After a beat, he brushed back my hair and set his hand against my cheek. His touch was gentle and the way his thumb grazed across my skin made me feel like Levi was starting to care for me in a way I’d never been cared for before.

 
“Do you want to go to dinner Friday? Just the two of us?” he asked.

  “Don’t you have a show on Friday? I was going to come and invite Casey.”

  “I forgot,” he said. “How about Saturday? I know we haven’t had the chance to spend a lot of time alone.”

  “I’d love to,” I said, hearing the smile in my voice.

  I kept smiling as I leaned into him. I began to fully appreciate how tall he really was. The fact that he towered over me made me feel feminine in a way I never had before. Kissing was always awkward because of my stature. But with Levi, he’d have to pull me into his arms to give me a proper kiss.

  Levi seemed to read my thoughts and leaned down until his mouth was positioned over my ear. My thighs clenched as I felt his breath tickle my skin.

  “You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to kiss you—to taste you.” His voice was thick with desire. “I’ve had to draw on every ounce of self-control to not have my mouth on you.”

  I felt close to collapsing into a dead faint as the rush of his words hit me. “I thought you thought of me as a friend.”

  “No,” he said. “Friends don’t imagine how your voice will sound with my name on your lips as you come.”

  His brothers and mom walked into the room and I was forced into silence. Levi moved away and took a seat at the dinner table. I couldn’t picture surviving the normalcy of dinner—chewing and swallowing when all I’d be able to think about was how Levi looked when he admitted to wanting me.

  Beneath his dark, straight eyebrows, Levi’s hazel eyes were probing. My cheeks flushed and I tried to bite back my smile. Across the table, Levi grinned at me and I could see the relief he had from my reaction. There would be no games anymore. Every move I made with him going forward would be deliberate. Because I wanted to prove I had just as an active imagination about him and what he would be like in bed. I found myself welcoming his infiltration—of both my body and heart.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I opened my eyes to a world that wouldn’t stop spinning. Bile coated the back of my throat and I had to stay very still to fight against the urge to vomit. I focused on a small spot in the center of the ceiling until the nausea and dizziness passed. I took a deep breath and once I felt like I wasn’t going to get sick, I ventured into a sitting position. With a glance at the clock, I groaned at the time. It was ten after nine and Casey was due at my apartment in twenty minutes to get ready for Levi’s concert.

 

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