Then the wedding march began and we all stood and turned to see Alyssa on her father’s arm. She looked stunning in her wedding gown and I felt tears spring into my eyes, my happiness for her overwhelming me. Her father escorted her down the aisle and she glanced at me and smiled as she passed. I hugged Natalie closer, so grateful I had decided to come on the cruise, and watched as Alyssa’s father placed Alyssa’s hand in Ty’s.
A moment later, the officiator began speaking. I half-listened, my mind going to the memories of my wedding to Trevor, and when I was able to push that out of my mind, I gazed at Cameron, who stood next to Ty, and thought about new beginnings, and how thankful I was that I could have a second chance.
I focused on Ty and Alyssa exchanging their vows, then exchanging rings, and finally being pronounced husband and wife. I smiled through a veil of tears as Ty pulled Alyssa into his arms and kissed her with obvious passion. Everyone laughed, then clapped, then Ty and Alyssa walked back down the aisle as husband and wife.
All of those attending followed them to a nearby room where we congratulated them and had a light meal.
“You look gorgeous, Alyssa,” I said, giving her a hug. “And so happy.”
“Thank you.” She paused, beaming. “I am happy.”
“Congratulations, Ty,” I said, hugging him as well.
“Thanks, Lily.”
I chatted with them for a few minutes, then brought Natalie with me to the food table and picked up a glass of ice water. Trying not to be obvious, I looked around the room to see what Cameron was doing and saw him talking to his friends. He glanced my way and our eyes met, but I looked away, my feelings in such turmoil after vividly recalling my own wedding less than two years before.
I carried Natalie to a chair, and sat, observing the happy conversations in the room. A short time later Ty and Alyssa cut their cake and we all had a slice. Then Ty called for everyone’s attention.
“I just wanted to thank all of you for being here,” he said. “I know it was a sacrifice for a lot of you, and I want you to know how much it means to both Alyssa and me that you were able to come.” He paused. “Today is our first day in port and I hope you all have a great time exploring Alaska. It’s true that this is our honeymoon.” He gazed at Alyssa, then looked back at the group. “But we hope to spend time with all of you over the next few days too.” He held up the glass in his hand. “To family and good friends.”
Half an hour later I noticed people starting to leave and decided it was a good time for me to take Natalie and explore Skagway. The ship wasn’t leaving the port until nine o’clock that evening, so I had plenty of time. As I pushed Natalie’s stroller toward the door, I felt a little sorry for myself. Everyone else had others they had made plans with, and excursions they’d signed up for, whereas I hadn’t planned anything and was just going to explore the town.
Loneliness washed over me as I walked toward the exit. I glanced back at Ty and Alyssa, and smiled at their happiness, then saw Cameron watching me, that same unreadable expression on his face. My lips turned up in a small smile as our eyes met, and he smiled back, but made no move to come talk to me. I turned away, my brows creased, and left the room. We’d talked about going whale watching together, but that wasn’t until we got to Juneau, which would happen the next day. I hoped I would have a chance to talk to him in private before then.
In the meantime, I had to go on with my life. I’d spent a lot of money to go on this cruise, and I’d never planned on having Cameron keep me company—I hadn’t known he existed until a few days ago. So I would put the needs of Natalie and myself first, and enjoy the beauty of Alaska. Before getting off the ship, I took Natalie to our room and we both changed into more comfortable clothes, then I made sure I had everything I’d need to take care of her for the day, hooked the diaper bag over the stroller, and headed to the place where we would disembark.
A short time later we were walking along the pier. When I reached the end of it, I took a picture of the ship from that angle, marveling at the immensity of it. A cruise ship from another cruise line was also docked at the pier, and I watched the people coming and going. Natalie and I strolled into town, which wasn’t very big, and went inside several stores.
After a while, Natalie started getting fussy and I knew it was time for a nap. She didn’t seem to want to fall asleep in the stroller, so I would have to take her back to our room. As we walked to the ship, I noticed the train tracks and decided I would see about going on the train later that afternoon.
We went up the gangway and showed our cards to the security people, passed through the metal detector, then took the elevator to our room. I got her settled and then lay on my bed to read my book. When I heard a knock at my door, I went to answer it, hoping against hope that it was Cameron. When I saw him standing on the threshold, I smiled, and invited him in. Without speaking, we walked past Natalie’s crib and went straight out to the balcony.
Looking out over the railing, neither one of us spoke. After a moment the silence was too much for me, and I went first. “The wedding was really nice.”
Cameron turned to face me. “Yeah. Alyssa looked beautiful in her wedding dress.”
I nodded.
His face softened. “You looked beautiful too.”
I smiled. “Thanks.” I paused. “What brings you to my room?”
“I figured this was probably Natalie’s nap time and I wanted to talk to you.”
Glad that he’d made the first move, I asked, “So what’s going on? You hardly acknowledged me this morning.”
His eyebrows pulled together. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to.”
I tilted my head to one side. “Why would you think that?”
He chewed the inside of his mouth and looked toward the mountains, then looked back at me. “I just felt like you were giving me mixed signals last night.”
Nodding, I tried to think of the words I’d planned to use to explain myself. “I’m sorry.” I sighed. “When you kissed me . . .” I felt my face redden as my explanation came to mind. “Well, I just felt such a powerful . . . attraction . . . to you. And it scared me.”
He grinned, his dimple deepening and his blue eyes sparkling. “Oh.”
Despite my embarrassment, I smiled back.
“I don’t understand what you’re scared of,” he said.
“Just getting hurt, I guess.”
He nodded. “I suppose I can understand that. After all you’ve been through.”
“Exactly. I guess I’m worried about investing myself emotionally into you and then you turning out like . . . others have. Others who have disappointed me.”
He gazed at me a moment. “I don’t know what you mean, exactly, and to be honest, I can’t promise anything.”
My embarrassment returned, but for a different reason. “I know. We just barely met and I’m not asking you to commit to anything, but you have to understand that I’m a little gun-shy to put . . . well, to put my heart out there.” He looked uncomfortable, so I hurriedly went on. “I’m not saying I expect you to commit to any kind of relationship, but you just need to understand that I have to protect myself. Protect my heart.” I stared at him a moment. “I’ve had very few relationships, and it seems the ones I’ve had have always ended up making me unhappy. So I’m just wary.” But I’m also lonely, I thought.
He reached out and took my hand and rubbed his thumb against my palm, sending a shiver through me. “Tell you what,” he said. “Let’s just take it slow. Just get to know each other.” He laughed. “I mean, once this cruise is over, we may be glad to be rid of each other. But for now, we can have fun together.”
I hoped he wouldn’t want to be rid of me—I was really starting to like him—but I nodded. “Okay.”
“What do you have planned for the rest of our time in Skagway?”
“Earlier Natalie and I walked around town, and I thought after her nap it would be fun to do one of those train trips.”
“Would
you mind if I came along?”
I smiled, my earlier feeling of self-pity at being alone vanishing. “I’d love to have you along.”
“Great.”
We talked out on the balcony until Natalie woke up, then after I gave her some baby food, the three of us went to the Lido deck and had lunch from the buffet.
“Ready to go on a train ride?” I asked Natalie as Cameron and I finished eating. I looked at him. “I hope she does okay on it. I think it’s three hours long.”
A look of worry crossed his face. “Do you think that’s too long for her?”
Touched by his concern, I smiled. “I think she’ll be okay. If anything she’ll probably fall asleep by the end of it.”
We left the ship, bought our tickets, and boarded the train. The views as the train took us up the mountain were spectacular, but more than that, I relished Cameron’s closeness as he pressed against me in the seat. I sat next to the window, and he leaned close to me to look out.
“Look at the snow,” he said, his arm around the back of my seat as he leaned toward the window.
I turned slightly, so that our faces were only inches apart, and smiled. He gazed at me a moment and I felt my heart pound as I anticipated a kiss, but he just smiled back, leaving me wanting more. Natalie was content to sit on my lap for much of the trip, and only got fussy when she got hungry, at which time I gave her formula. Eventually she fell asleep and I held her against my shoulder.
“Do you need anything?” Cameron asked. “Maybe some water?”
“Sure.”
He went to the front and brought back two bottles of water, handing one to me.
When we got back to the pier, Cameron carried the diaper bag for me, which I thought was very thoughtful and sweet.
“Do you want to take her back to your room?” he asked.
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
We climbed the gangway back onto the ship and a few minutes later we were back in my room and Natalie was in her crib.
“I’m going to take off for a while,” Cameron said.
I nodded. “I had fun with you on the train.”
He smiled. “Me, too.” I walked him to the door and he stopped with his hand on the door knob. “I’ll try to get to the dining room on time tonight, but if you get there before me, will you save me a seat?”
“Sure.”
He gazed at me a moment and I wondered if he was contemplating kissing me, but finally he smiled, opened the door, and left.
After he left, I thought about his new reluctance to kiss me and wondered if it was because of our conversation earlier. Maybe he wanted to let me make the choice, let me set the pace. I thought about that and wondered if I would have the courage to move our relationship in that direction. Or would I be like Marcus and keep Cameron at arm’s length—in the friend zone.
I gasped as the realization hit me that maybe that was what was going on with Marcus. Maybe he was afraid just like I was. Maybe that was why he was keeping me in the friend zone—to keep himself from getting hurt. But if that was true, why would he be dating Chelsea?
I sighed, confused about what was true and what was all in my imagination.
Chapter Sixteen
That night at dinner, Cameron got to the dining room before me and saved a seat for me, which made me happy. He even had the staff put Natalie’s high chair next to my seat. “Thanks, Cameron. That was very thoughtful,” I said as I slid into my seat.
He smiled. “You’re welcome.” He held up the menu. “Have you ever tried escargot?”
I shook my head, grimacing slightly.
“Well, tonight’s your chance.”
“I think I’ll stick with the salad.”
“Well, I’m getting the escargot.” He grinned. “And I’ll even let you try it.”
I bit my lip. “Okay. Maybe I will.” When the appetizers were set on the table, Cameron looked at his escargot, then looked at me with raised eyebrows.
Laughing, I said, “It actually looks good, the way they serve it.”
He popped one in his mouth.
“How is it?” I asked, my mouth stretched out in a half smile/half frown.
He nodded. “Delicious.” He motioned toward his plate. “Have one.”
Tentatively, I poked my fork into one, and brought it to my lips. I looked at Cameron, who watched me expectantly, then I put it in my mouth.
“Well?” he said.
“I like it.”
He smiled in approval. “Have another.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to eat all of your food.”
He laughed. “Oh, believe me, I’ll get plenty of food.”
“Yeah, there’s no shortage of food on this cruise.” I took another and put it in my mouth.
“Not bad for a snail, huh?”
I stopped chewing for a second, then swallowed. “Yeah, until you reminded me that I was eating a snail.”
He laughed, and ate the remaining three pieces. “Do you think we can get Haley to babysit again tonight?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “She babysat the last two nights, and Barbara is going to babysit tomorrow so I can go whale watching.” I paused. “Did you still want to do that?”
“Yeah. After seeing those whales yesterday, I’m stoked to see some close up.”
I smiled. “Good.”
“But about tonight?” he asked.
“Yeah. I think I’d better stay in tonight. I feel guilty asking Haley again. I want her to have fun on the cruise too.”
“Okay. That’s cool.”
I didn’t invite him to my room. It wouldn’t be fun to sit on the balcony at night—too cold—and I didn’t want to wake Natalie by talking to him in the room. After dinner I talked to Alyssa’s mom, Barbara, to make sure she was still planning on babysitting the next day.
“Yes, but I wanted to do some shopping in town,” she said. “Would it be okay if I took her out in the stroller?”
I hesitated, not loving the idea, but I couldn’t expect her to stay holed up in her room all day. I looked at Barbara and nodded. She was a good mom, and she had other grandchildren. Surely she could manage my baby for a few hours. “What time did you want to go shopping tomorrow morning?”
“Oh, about nine, I’d say.”
“Okay. Why don’t I come to your room then, and we can get off the ship together? I still need to buy my ticket.”
She smiled. “That works for me.”
I told Cameron that I wanted to get going by nine o’clock the next morning, and he agreed to meet me at Barbara’s room at that time. Happy to have the arrangements for the next day mapped out, I told everyone good-night, and took Natalie back to our room.
At nine o’clock the next morning I knocked on Barbara and Paul’s door. Barbara let me in.
“Thank you for babysitting today,” I said. “I’m really excited about this excursion.”
She looked at Natalie, who sat in the stroller watching us, then looked back at me. “I’m happy to do it. I had a busy day yesterday, and today I’m ready to take it easy.”
I laughed. “I don’t know how easy it will be to take care of Natalie.”
“Oh, I’m sure she’ll be fine. From what I’ve seen, she’s a calm baby.”
“Yes, she is. I’m really lucky.”
A few minutes later Cameron arrived and we all left the ship together. I pushed the stroller and Cameron walked next to me, with Barbara and Paul on my other side. Cameron and I stopped at the booths a little ways past the pier to see when the next whale watching tour departed. Our timing was good as they were going to leave in fifteen minutes. We purchased our tickets, then I turned Natalie over to Barbara.
“I just fed her, so she should be fine for a few hours. There’s formula in the diaper bag, and anything else she might need.” I’d given her my cell number earlier, so she could call if she needed to. I leaned down to the stroller and kissed Natalie’s soft cheek. “See you in a while, sweetheart.”
Natalie smiled her sweet baby smile, and I hesitated. I’d never let someone else take care of her like this, and I couldn’t help but worry. Barbara must have sensed my hesitation, because she touched my shoulder. I stood and faced her.
With a look of warmth, Barbara said, “I promise to take care of her like she was my own, Lily.”
I smiled, feeling better. “I know you will. I’m sorry for making you think otherwise.”
She shook her head. “Alyssa told me what you’ve been through, so I understand.” She smiled. “Now go have a fun day. We’ll be fine.”
My worries put to rest, I turned to Cameron. “Ready?” He nodded and held out his hand, which I took. With one more glance at Natalie, I walked with Cameron toward the meeting place, excited for our morning.
We stood with a few others, waiting for the van that would take us to the Auke Harbor. A few minutes later the van arrived and drove us to the harbor, where we got on a boat. There were ten of us in the group, which seemed to be about the right number for the size of the boat. Fisher, the naturalist who was coming on the trip, welcomed us aboard.
“Our driver,” Fisher said, “is going to take us really fast out to the area where we expect to see humpback whales. Once we get there, you can go out onto the top of the boat to get a better look. You’ll notice binoculars by each seat. Feel free to use those.”
Oversized windows wrapped around the boat, giving us a panoramic view of the water. The boat took off, and we practically flew across the water. After a short time we arrived in an area where three other boats were waiting.
“Watch for the tell-tale spout,” Fisher said.
A moment later someone called out that they saw a spout. Cameron and I hurried to the top of the boat where we had a clear view of several humpback whales coming to the surface.
“I can see its tail,” I exclaimed, excitement evident in my voice.
Love At Last (Lily's Story, Book 3) Page 12