“And what about Cameron?”
“That’s where I’m confused. I know he likes me—he’s told me as much—and he’s so sweet, letting me set the pace, but I just don’t feel as strongly toward him as I do toward Marcus. And, well, he doesn’t seem as interested in Natalie as Marcus is.”
Alyssa was silent for a moment. “Look, you can’t blow him off because he’s hesitant around Natalie. I don’t think he has any experience with babies, so you need to cut him some slack there.” She paused. “You just need to focus on who makes you happy.”
I nodded. “I know.” Then in a near whisper. “I know.”
“And, Lily?”
“Yeah?”
“Just be careful. I don’t want to see you getting hurt. You’ve been through enough.”
I could hear the sincerity in her voice. “I will.”
We said our good-byes and I set the phone down. Greta pressed her nose into my hand and I scratched her head. “What do you think, girl? Who do you like better?” I watched her face, but she had no answers for me.
I rested my head against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling, thinking about the two men in my life. But was Marcus really “in my life”? He was a friend, there was no doubt of that, but when I’d told him how I felt, he’d shot me down. And now he was dating Chelsea.
If being more than friends with Marcus wasn’t a possibility, what would I do? Trying to be honest with myself, I considered the options. I could allow the relationship with Cameron to develop and see where it led. Or, I could end it with Cameron and just allow myself to be happy with my role of friend in Marcus’s life.
But would I be happy in that role? I shook my head. No, I would definitely want more. Especially if he was the only man in my life. So, I thought, my stomach churning, if he has no interest beyond friendship, maybe it’s time to start backing away from him. How else can I protect myself from being hurt? The more time I spend with him, the more I love him, and the more I open my heart up to being hurt.
Yes, I thought. I need to erect barriers between Marcus and my heart.
The next evening after I put Natalie to bed, I heard a knock on my door. I looked through the peephole and saw Marcus standing on the porch. At first I smiled at the unexpected visit, but my smile quickly turned into a frown as I remembered my decision the night before. Putting a friendly smile on my face, I opened the door.
“Hey, Lily,” he said, his face open and sincere. “How are you?”
“Good.”
He motioned toward his parent’s house next door. “I just had dinner with my parents and thought I’d stop by to see how your house hunt is going.”
I felt silly just talking to him at the door. “Do you want to come in?”
“Sure.”
He followed me into the living room and we sat on opposite ends of the couch.
“Is Russell showing you many houses?”
“Yes. He took me to a number of places yesterday.” I left off the fact that Cameron had come along.
“Great. Did you find anything that looks promising?”
“Not yet.”
“Well, I’m sure there’s something out there that will be perfect for you and Natalie.” He paused. “When are you going to look again?”
“Russell said he’d line some places up for tomorrow afternoon.”
“Perhaps I could come along. You know, give a second opinion.”
I hesitated, but felt my earlier resolve to create distance between us slipping.
Obviously noticing my hesitation, he said, “But if you’d prefer to go on your own, I understand.”
Quickly shaking my head, I said, “No. I’d like it if you came along.”
He tilted his head to one side. “Are you sure?”
Feeling slightly ridiculous now for even considering putting distance between us, I nodded. “Yes.” Then my eyebrows drew together. “But what about work?”
“I’ve been putting in a lot of late nights. I’m sure I can leave a little early for a change.”
Renewed excitement about my search flooded me, and I smiled. “Great.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
The next afternoon Marcus arrived at my house right on time and I opened the door. “I just need to get Natalie and we can go.”
“Let me help,” he said.
“Thanks.”
I watched as he walked into the living room, where Natalie was playing on a blanket on the floor. He scooped her up and held her in front of him, then gently rocked her in the air, sending her into a fit of giggles.
My heart swelled with love for him as I watched him interact with my daughter. Why can’t Cameron be so natural with her? Frowning at myself for comparing the two men, I pushed thoughts of Cameron aside and decided to just enjoy being with Marcus, even though I was certain I would feel sad later.
He turned toward me. “Ready?”
“Yes.”
We walked out to my car together and he fastened Natalie into her car seat.
“I hope Russell has some good places to show me today. I’ve only been looking for a few days and already I’m stressed.”
He turned to me and smiled. “You’ll find the right place for the two of you.”
I gazed into his incredible green eyes and forced myself to focus on what he was saying. “I know. I’d just like it if it happened today.”
He nodded. “Hey, do you want me to drive? Then you can focus on looking at the neighborhoods we drive through.”
“Great idea.” I handed him my keys, then began walking to the passenger door.
“Hold on a sec, Lily.” He walked past me and opened the passenger door, holding it for me while I got in.
He closed it once I was in my seat, and I watched him through the windshield as he walked back to the driver’s side and climbed in. Why does he have to be so wonderful?
He glanced at me, a smile on his face, then put the key in the ignition and started the car. I was silent as we drove to the first house, my thoughts in a jumble. One part of me thought about the house hunt and what I would see that day. Another part of me couldn’t stop thinking about Marcus and how much I loved having him sitting so close to me. I allowed myself to fantasize about us being a family, going on a drive—just me, my perfect husband, and our daughter.
“We’re here,” Marcus said as we pulled up to a house.
I felt my face flush, as if he knew what I’d been thinking, but I looked toward the house, my face averted from him, so he couldn’t see my embarrassment.
“It has good curb appeal,” he said as he turned off the car.
I nodded.
“There’s Russell,” he said.
I saw Russell’s car pull into the driveway and I reached for the door handle.
“Let me get that, Lily,” Marcus said.
I turned to him, a smile on my face. “I appreciate you being such a gentleman, but we’re going to be getting in and out of the car quite a bit today. Maybe you should let me do this myself?”
He grinned. “Yeah, I suppose that makes sense.” He paused. “I’ll get Natalie out.”
“Thanks.” I climbed out of the car and watched him gently extricate Natalie from the straps of her car seat, then hold her against his shoulder. For a moment I envied the closeness to Marcus that my daughter enjoyed.
“Hey there, Marcus,” Russell said as he walked toward us. “What a nice surprise to see you.”
They shook hands, then Russell turned to me and started giving me the stats on the house. We all walked into the house and looked through the rooms.
“What do you think, Lily?” Russell asked when we’d gone back out front.
“It’s okay. It looks like it’s in good shape, but it’s a little small.” I glanced at Marcus before looking back at Russell. “I know it’s just Natalie and me, but whatever I end up buying, I plan on staying in for a long time. And I hope to expand my family one day.”
“Sure,” Russell said. “I understand. I hav
e another place I want to show you that I’d like you to consider.”
“Okay.”
He gave us the address and we all climbed into the cars and drove to the house. As we pulled up, I immediately noticed that the front yard needed some work, but the house looked larger than the last place. We got out of the car and Russell met us on the driveway.
“Now, you need to keep an open mind,” he said to me.
I didn’t like the sound of that. He told me how much the seller was asking and it sounded like a good deal for the amount of square footage. “What’s the catch?” I asked.
He smiled. “It needs a little work.”
I groaned. “I told you I can’t afford to hire anyone to fix a place up.”
“Let’s go inside and have a look around, okay?”
“Well, I’m here, so I might as well.” I glanced at Marcus, who was holding Natalie, but he didn’t say anything. A moment later we all walked into the house. A small entry opened up into a comfortable family room. Stains dotted the carpet, but I knew that could be changed out. A wood-burning fireplace was nestled in the corner, and a large sliding glass door led out to the backyard.
Russell slid open the door, and we walked out onto a large, covered concrete patio. My gaze went from side to side, taking in the large, weedy yard.
“It definitely needs some work, but it’s a good size,” I said. “Lots of room for Greta to run around.” We went back inside and into the eat-in kitchen. “There’s plenty of cupboards and counter space.” I looked at the floor. “The vinyl floor looks a little beat up, so I’d want to put in tile, but it’s workable.” I turned to Russell, a feeling of home washing over me. “I’m glad you brought me here.”
He smiled, clearly pleased with himself. “I thought you might like it.” He pointed back to the entry. “There’s a good-size living room off of the entry.”
We walked back to the entry and into the living room. Again, the carpet needed to be replaced, but the room was spacious, with a picture window looking out over the front yard. “I like it.” My gaze took in the walls. “I’d want to paint, but I can do that.” I glanced at Marcus and smiled. He smiled back as if he could sense my excitement. My gaze went to Natalie, held securely in his arms, and I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. Not sure what that meant, I tucked it away for later evaluation, and followed Russell to the hallway, which led to the bedrooms.
“There are three bedrooms, including the master, but they’re all a pretty good size,” he said. “Plus there are two full bathrooms, and one of them is part of the master.”
I looked into the two guest rooms and smiled. “Decent closet space.” I peeked into the first bathroom. “Needs some updating, but it’s okay.” Next we went into the master, and my gaze went around the room. “There’s plenty of space in here, though it needs a coat of paint, and the carpet is gross.” Then I went into the master bath. “It’s not too big, but it will work. And again, I’d want to update it.”
I turned to face Russell and Marcus. “I like it. I’m not quite sure how I’ll manage all the work that needs to be done, but it feels like home.” I thought about Cameron’s statement that he wasn’t handy at all, and wondered who I could hire to do the work—and how much it would cost. It didn’t matter, this place felt right.
“Are you ready to make an offer?” Russell asked.
Fresh excitement swept over me as I realized I was about to buy my first house. I glanced at Marcus, who had been silent the whole time. “What do you think?”
“I think you like this place,” he said, smiling.
My smile widened. “Yes, I do.”
“Then you should go for it.”
I looked around the space and felt my smile falter a bit. “I have to admit, I’m a little worried about the work that needs to be done.”
He adjusted Natalie in his arms. “What is it that’s worrying you?”
I bit my lip. “I’m just a bit overwhelmed about where to find people to do the work. I’ve never hired anyone to do this kind of thing before.” I paused. “And I’m a little worried about the cost. Buying the house will take almost all of my budget. I won’t have much left over to hire someone.”
He shook his head, his face relaxed. “Don’t sweat it, Lily. I’ll help you.”
I wasn’t sure what he meant, but felt confident that he would come through for me. I nodded, then turned to Russell, my earlier excitement returning. “Let’s do it.”
We went into the kitchen and he drew up the paperwork for the offer.
“I’ll submit the offer and let you know as soon as I hear anything,” he said.
Relief that I’d found a place for me and Natalie flooded me, and I grinned. “Great.”
A few minutes later Marcus, Natalie, and I were back in my car.
“It’s a good area,” Marcus said as he drove out of the neighborhood.
“Yes, I think so too.” My gaze examined the houses and yards near the house I wanted to buy, and I felt confident that this would be a safe place to live. I turned to Marcus. “Thanks for coming.”
He smiled. “I don’t think I did much to help.”
I laughed, then said in a soft voice, “It was just nice having you there.”
He looked at me and his smile faltered a bit, then he looked back at the road without speaking.
My brow creased. I was confused by his reaction. Did he regret coming? Was he afraid I might think he wanted more than friendship? Of course I did, desperately, but I knew it was out of my hands. I looked out the passenger window, my excitement about buying my house tempered by my sorrow over Marcus.
A short time later we pulled into my driveway. I climbed out of the car before Marcus had a chance to open the door for me, then walked around to Natalie’s side, where Marcus was unbuckling her car seat. He kissed her cheek, then handed her to me.
My heart flip-flopped to see him treat her like he would surely treat his own daughter, and my sorrow that he would only be a friend intensified. I held her to me, and breathed in her baby scent, comforting myself that she would always be my daughter. “Thanks again, Marcus.”
“No problem. Let me know when you hear back from Russell.”
“I will.” I hesitated. “Do you want to come in?”
He shook his head. “No, I’ve got some things I need to do.”
I nodded. Chelsea. Of course. “Okay.”
“See you later, Lily.”
He drove off a moment later and I carried Natalie into the house.
Two days later I heard back from Russell. The seller had accepted my offer and my terms to close within two weeks. Ecstatic, I picked Natalie up from her swing and danced around the room.
“I’m buying a house,” I cried out. “I’m buying a house.”
Greta barked in alarm, but I just laughed. Natalie had no idea what was going on, but she must have sensed my joy because she giggled as we spun around the room. Finally I sat on the couch and held Natalie on my lap. “What color do you want your room, baby girl?” I kissed her soft cheek and held her close.
Then I thought about the projects I would need to do and mentally listed them: replace all the carpet, replace the kitchen floor with tile, update both bathrooms, paint all the rooms, fix up the front and back yards. As the list grew in my mind, I began to feel overwhelmed and my exhilaration dimmed.
“How am I going to do all this?” I said out loud. But then I remembered Marcus’s statement that he would help me. I pictured the earnestness in his face and knew I could count on him. But then I thought about Cameron. How would he feel if he knew I was spending time with another man? Should I tell him? Afraid of his reaction and that he might walk away, I decided to say nothing for now. After all, there was nothing to tell regarding Marcus.
But I had promised Marcus that I’d tell him once I’d heard back from Russell. I called his cell phone and he answered right away.
“I got the house,” I said in response to his greeting.
“That’s gre
at, Lily. Congratulations.” He paused. “We need to celebrate. I’m taking you out to dinner tonight.”
I grinned. “Okay.” I had to admit, I was a little surprised he’d been so spontaneous in his offer. Wouldn’t he want to check with Chelsea first? Not my concern, I reminded myself.
That evening at dinner, Marcus was as sweet as ever with Natalie, and it suddenly occurred to me that maybe it was really her that drew him to me. Did that mean if I didn’t have her, he would no longer want to spend time with me? How ironic, I thought. Cameron’s interest in Natalie was minimal—he just seemed to be interested in me. But Marcus seemed to be the opposite. Why couldn’t I find someone who had both of those qualities rolled up into one?
Pushing aside my silly thoughts, I focused on enjoying my time with Marcus, regardless of why he chose to be with me.
“I’m glad the seller agreed to close on the sale in two weeks,” I said as I sprinkled salt onto my steamed vegetables.
Marcus nodded as he swallowed his steak. “Do you want to get started on your projects as soon as you close?”
“I haven’t even looked for carpet yet, but I guess I should paint the rooms before I have it installed.” I took a bite of the steamed broccoli.
“What about the tile work in the kitchen and bathrooms?”
“You said you’d help me find someone to do it.”
He smiled. “No. I said I’d help you do it.”
“Wait. You mean do the work myself?” I felt panic edging in. “I don’t know the first thing about that.”
His smile grew. “That’s why I’ll be there to help.”
My mind immediately went to the day he’d helped me put in Greta’s dog door. He’d pretty much ended up doing the whole thing himself. But what I most vividly recalled was the way he’d knelt behind me when he was trying to show me how to use his power tools. A rush of warmth cascaded over me at the memory.
How would it be if we worked together again? I didn’t know if I could handle it when I knew it wouldn’t lead anywhere. But what other choice did I have? I didn’t feel comfortable spending a lot of money hiring people, and Cameron had made it clear he wasn’t the handy type. I nodded, resigned to the idea. “Okay. Thanks.”
Love At Last (Lily's Story, Book 3) Page 18