Tonight had been one of those nights. He had come home smelling of cigarette smoke and whiskey. I felt the need to question him but he promptly dismissed me for another drink before he had passed out. So here I lay next to him staring at the ceiling contemplating the future.
I roll to get out of the bed, ‘where are you going?” His guff sleepy voice isn’t a turn on to me tonight.
“To the bathroom, is it okay or do you prefer I relieve myself right here in the carpet?” I whisper as I find my panties and tee shirt. I pull them on as I stumble around to the door. I do my business and peek back out and find him sound asleep again. I slip out the door and down the hall as I round the bottom of the stairs and revel in the fact the house is so quiet. Which in stark contrast to its normal state of being bursting at the seams with club members.
The moon is full and the silver light beaming through the large windows on the front of the house illuminates everything. I walk to the kitchen and get me a glass of water, I stand leaning up against the counter. Rolling the drink around in my mouth I ponder the events of the past couple of weeks. Thankfully there have been no more threats or attempts on me so I am thinking of asking Leo to have Beeker back off a little.
Meeting Leo, then the attack right after my father showing up to assist Leo in bringing down Maxwell Cain and his group of men, I still feel there is something Leo and my father haven’t told me. I have also noticed the club members seem strangely at ease with my father’s presence.
“Avery?” His deep gravely sleepy voice brings me back from my deep thoughts,
“Yes.” I answer without turning around to face him. The needle of their vagueness is poking me right in the gut and it is really starting to gripe my ass.
“What are you doing standing in the dark baby?” He comes over placing his hands on either side of my hips atop the counter.
“Just thinking.” I set the glass down and turn so I can wrap my arms around his neck.
He nudges my ear with his nose, ‘you coming back to bed?”
How could I refuse, ‘yes but only if you promise we can talk tomorrow please.”
“About what?” He leans his head back to look me in the eye.
“About everything going on, Leo.” I let out a sigh.
He closes his eyes and leans his head into mine, ‘Not this shit again,’ he groans, ‘Avery I have told you the less you know the better off you will be in the long run, you have nothing to worry about baby your Dad and I can handle this.”
I try to free myself of his arms but he will not let me walk away, ‘Leo I am very aware of the length of my father’s reach and the influence he has on things, what I don’t understand is how you fit in with his ability to bring who ever down.”
He goes quiet and his shoulders tense up as he grips the counter behind me, ‘Avery please I am begging you to give it time.”
“Give it time? Hell Leo I have known you all of a month we are practically living together, shit we are one breath away from going and picking out china patterns. So how much more time do you fucking need?”
“Language, Avery.”
“Fuck my language, I am tired of being treated like a child on a need to know basis who has a babysitter detail following her around twenty four seven. Shit Leo I can't even drive myself to work, it is getting old so either you tell me or I will remove myself from the equation.”
His jaws are clenched and he has backed up to where is his standing at the island. He runs his hands through his long hair and mumbles something under his breath. He slams his fist onto the counter top rattling the pans underneath in the cabinets, ‘Avery not now, we are so close to getting this shit taken care of and if you go off the reservation you could endanger the whole case,” he grits out between his teeth.
I stop and look at him confused, ‘case, I thought you were just going to find these people and beat the shit out of them, that is what you do isn’t it vigilante justice type stuff?”
“No Avery it isn’t,’ he grits out through his still clinched teeth his hands are fisted at his sides, ‘I am going back to bed, I had a late night and I’ve got an even earlier morning.” He turns his back to me and starts for the stairs.
“Leo! Don’t do this please just tell me?” I beg.
He stops but doesn’t turn around, ‘Avery all I am doing is keeping you safe so please stop busting my balls over it.”
I cross over to him and take him by the arm, ‘Leo I am grateful for what you have done for me but I need to know what is going on for my own sanity. You are gone most nights and then you come home in the middle of the night on others. I worry one day you won’t come home and I will not know where to look for you.”
He turns to me and takes my head in his hands looking deep into my soul, “Avery know I am with you always, there isn’t a moment that doesn’t go by you are not in my head. I am doing this so we can have some semblance of a normal life because that is what I want with you. I am all in with you baby. I just need for you to trust me a little while longer, have faith. Now stop crying and let’s go to bed.” He takes his thumb and swipes the lone tear that is running down my cheek.
“You are asking me to follow you blindly into an uncertain future I didn’t even know you wanted to have with me?” The burn of tears is threatening the backs of my eyeballs.
“I am doing this so we can have a future, so you can go out without Beeker up your ass. So when you are not with me I am not out of my fucking mind with worry, so yeah I am asking for a little blind faith from you.”
“I am about at my limit of giving out blind faith Leo.” I take his wrist in my hand trying to pull his hands from my face.
“What is it going to fucking take to get you to understand I can't tell you everything right now?”
“Information.”
“I have always tried to tell you everything I can, Avery.”
“You are not doing it now.”
“Yes I am, I am just omitting things you don’t need to know right now.”
“Ahhhhhh!” I stomp my foot.
“Why are you being so fucking difficult Avery?” His jaw tightens again and his eyes are black marbles in the sockets, what little white than can be seen is bloodshot.
“I am not the one being difficult, you are.” I shove a stern finger into his tight chest.
He drops his hands from me, ‘Avery I am done with this conversation, do whatever you want, I am going to bed.” He turns for the stairs leaving me alone standing in the living room awash in the moon light. I watch as his bare muscular back ascends the stairs and disappears around the corner to our room.
I take a deep breath and wonder to the couch, I pull the blanket down and cover myself, crying as my lids slip closed letting the black abyss of sleep over take me.
****
“Avery baby I am going to take you up to the bed, hold on to me.” Leo’s deep voice stirs me. I absentmindedly wrap my arms around his neck and snuggle down into his chest. He smells like my Leo, he has taken a shower and cleaned himself of the smoke and alcohol smell from the night before. His tee shirt is tight across his chest as his lips kiss my forehead.
“Shit baby I didn’t mean for you to sleep down here.” I feel him walking up each step, his strong arms cradling me in safety.
“Leo?”
“What baby?”
“I trust you.” I decide that I want to be with him if this is the only way that I can have him it will do for now.
“Thank god, but we would have gotten a little more sleep if you would have come to this conclusion last night around three.” His mouth curves into a grin. He lays me on his side of the bed and covers me with the sheet, ‘I have to go out, I will be back in a little while, do you have to work?”
Shaking my head, ‘no, not today.”
“Good, sleep, Beeker is downstairs.” He rubs my hip with his big hand as he leans in to kiss me, ‘call me when you wake up.” I feel the bed move and he is gone.
****
I hit the la
st step and notice Roman has joined Beeker. My stomach hits the floor, ‘is something wrong?’ I ask.
Roman stands and crosses over to me kissing my hair, ‘no I just dropped by to see how you were doing, can I not miss you?”
I lean into him, ‘I guess,’ I look up at him, ‘if it is allowed.” I smile. Leo’s rules of engagement with other people are strict to say the least; Roman is number one on the unapproved list.
“His bark is worse than his bite, I promise, babe.” He releases me and walks back over to the couch and slumps down beside Beeker again.
“If you say so.” I turn for the kitchen and I am met with a toothy grin, ‘Leo!” I exclaim as I run into his arms.
“Wow, if this is the kind of reception I get, I will sneak in more often.” He encircles me in his arms and holds me tight, ‘how did you sleep?”
I look up and step back, ‘what the hell happened to your hair?” I throw my hand up to my mouth in shock.
He rubs his hand over his recently barbered head, ‘oh that,’ I hear Roman in the background laughing so hard I am afraid he is going to pass out, ‘I lost a bet.”
“So you cut off all your hair?” I walk up to him and run my hand over his recently peeled head in hopes that it is an illusion. Gone were the luscious black locks that had caressed my inner thighs and tickled my belly. The raven lengths I had run my fingers through on many occasions, in their place is a high and tight buzz cut.
“Those were the terms,’ he leans to his right to address Roman, ‘shut up dickhead.” He rubs his hand over his head again with a misty look in his eyes.
“Oh my Lord Leo, you look so-,’ I step back and take him in believe it or not he is just as sexy without it, ‘different.”
“Is it a good different or a bad different?” His voice unsure of what my reaction will be.
“I don’t care, I love the whole package, the hair will grow back.” I give him a sneaky smile.
The loss of his hair only accentuates his other stunning features. His eyes are now the most prominent facet of his beautiful face. The pools of black coal are even more piercing. His mile and the lip ring stand out now too.
Dalton bust through the door, ‘oh my god let me fucking see,’ he turns in circles looking for what I presume to be Leo. Spotting him he over in laughter, ‘funny as hell man.” Roman jumps to his feet and fist bumps Dalton.
“I cut it myself man, did a pretty good job I might add. But I thought the big man was going to break out in sobs when the hair starting hitting the floor around him.” Roman laughs.
“Both of you assholes shut the hell up or I will kick your asses.” He throws them an eat shit look.
I turn to see both of them bent over double laughing; I turn back to Leo, ‘what was the bet might I ask?’ I ask with a stupid smile on my face.
He shakes his head, ‘something stupid we had going on down at the shop,’ he gives me a small smiles, ‘got anything for lunch?” He turns from me avoiding the question.
“Oh no buster you are going to tell me what the hell you three bet on that made you shave your head.” I take him by the arm and try to spin him back around to face me to no avail. The echoes of Roman and Dalton’s laughter still resonate in the air around us.
“God I wish they would shut up.” Leo grits out through his teeth as he rubs his hand over his head again with a wistful look filling his eyes.
“Okay so what was the bet?” I prop my hands up on my hips and stare up at him.
“Nothing really, now I think about it. It is kind of dense on my part for even playing into those ass holes game.” His eyes divert to the floor and study his boots.
I nudge him with my elbow, ‘well tell me, it can’t be that bad.’ I smile wearily up at him.
“Yeah it is,’ he smiles, ‘you are going to kill me for talking about it.”
“I am?” I hesitantly turn and glance back at a hee-hawing Roman and Dalton, ‘go ahead and spill it.”
“We bet on,‘ he pauses again judging my face frozen in a semi-grin with anticipation, ‘the number of times a day.”
“The number of times a day for what?” I am over takin by confusion as to what the men had been talking about much less bet on.
“The number of times, you know.” He rolls his eyes as to give me a hint to what he is talking about.
“Leo I am lost number of time-.” Then it hits me, ‘oh.” My eyes go wide and my mouth forms an o. I stand for a minute and consider how the other guys are making fun of Leo. Their laughter has grown louder and Leo’s face has turned sullen.
Taking him by the hand, ‘well then I guess we should go and fix it, right now.” I lead him to the top of the stairs I fell him jerk around to Roman and Dalton I turn to see him giving them the middle finger, they are eyeing us with fascination and envy.
****
“I was afraid you were going to be mad, boy was I wrong.” Leo sighs as he falls to the mattress beside me trying to get his breathing under control. We had spent most of the afternoon rectifying the bet he had lost. My body hummed with pleasure as my lungs struggled to regain some semblance of composure.
I roll into him resting my head on his bare chest, ‘I am just full of surprises.” I smile as he opens his eyes to look down at me.
“That is for sure Ms. Donnelly.” He kisses my forehead, ‘as much as I would love to continue what we have going here, I have to go to work tonight baby.”
“At the strip joint?” I grumble and lean off of him.
Tugging me back, ‘yes at the strip joint.” He mimics my sigh, ‘Avery it isn’t what you think. I don’t sample the goods anymore I am simply protecting my investments.”
“So you are the bouncer?” I say with a hint of disbelief.
“Yes I am.” He releases me and rolls to the side of the bed placing his feet on the floor to stand, ‘you gonna bust my balls again tonight about this?” His frustration at my reactions to his nightly duties rolls out of his mouth.
I sigh, ‘no, I guess not.” I exit the bed on my side and head around to the bathroom, Leo grabs my arm as I pass him stopping me, ‘what?”
“Avery,’ the way my name rolls off his tongue gives me a shudder that doesn’t go unnoticed, ‘baby.” He turns me into him, ‘what they have there has nothing on what I have lying in my bed next to me every night.” My heart jumps at his declaration to me, ‘I love you Avery.” And then my heart stops.
Not sure if I should say it back I wait too long and the moment passes. He kisses me again and goes to the bathroom to shower leaving me reeling from his words. I slump to the bed and wonder if I have just screwed up by not saying it back.
Coming back out of the room he is wearing a towel, ‘why the long face baby?”
I shrug my shoulders, ‘I dunno.” I roll to watch him get dressed and regret my hesitation.
As if he can read my thoughts, ‘if you are worried because you didn’t say it back baby don’t,’ he turns to give me his full on smile and view, ‘actions speak louder than words and I know how you feel.” He turns back to his dresser.
I prop myself up on my elbow, ‘you do?”
“Yeah if you didn’t like me so much you wouldn’t get so pissed at me for going to the strip joint. Or you wouldn’t have forgiven me so many times. Hell I’m afraid I am running out of chances.” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down at me.
I lay back laughing, ‘there is the inflated ego of yours again.” I scream as my ankles are grabbed and I am dragged down to the foot of the bed.
He buries his face in my belly and begins to plants kisses over the exposed skin, ‘if you would stop making me feel like superman, I would become the usual shrinking violet I am.” His evil little laugh incites my body with goose flesh.
Rolling from side to side with laughter, I try to force him to stop by pushing my arms between us, ‘oh Leo stop!”
“Had enough?” He continues his assault on me.
“Yes! Yes!” I exhale when he finally stops the tickling.
“You are so damn ticklish,’ placing one last kiss on my belly button, ‘and I love it.” Standing he pulls up his jeans the rest of the way and buttons them, ‘and I promise I won’t be drunk tonight.” He adds as he tugs his shirt over his head.
“You gonna walk me down and tell me bye?” He waits at the door as I scurry around the room picking up my discarded clothing from earlier.
I see the three off and turn to Beeker, ‘so what now?” I throw my hands out to each side of my body, ‘oh I know let’s call Kayla and cook dinner?” My eyes are bright with anticipation.
Beeker looks down smiling, ‘Avery I never have gotten around to thanking you.”
I slump down onto the couch next to him nudging him with my shoulder, ‘I told you everything would be okay, didn’t I?”
He just nods, ‘Beeker he isn’t mad.”
“I know he’s not, it was just a little awkward for us both.”
I jump up from the couch, ‘okay enough about it, get Kayla on the phone and get her little tail over here. I will go and start dinner.” I rush to the kitchen and stop short, ‘but Beeker she can't sleep over.”
I hear him laugh, ‘I know Mom.”
****
Beeker, Kayla and I fix chicken quesadillas on Leo’s monstrous grill, ‘I swear everything that man has I huge.” I exclaim, setting Kayla and Beeker into a laughing tirade. I clap my hands over my mouth, ‘that is not what I meant guys, get your minds out of the gutter.” I chastise them like children.
Kayla is waving her hands in the air as she laughs, ‘I think beer just came out of my nose, and shit it burns.” This starts me to laughing and beer does come out of my nose.
“Hello?” A deep raspy voice echoes through the cavernous house, I jump and run to see it is Zach.
A little bewildered I pull the door behind me closing out prying ears, ‘Zach, what are you doing here?”
I step behind the island in the kitchen, Zach whistles as he looks around the interior of our home, ‘nice digs Avery.”
“Not mine, this is Leo’s house. Again, Zach what are you doing here?” He has his hands shoved into his pockets and is closing the distance between us.
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