Back to a run-down cabin at Blue Creek that couldn’t hold a candle to what she’s used to? Back to doing without and living with nothing?
She said she had money, enough to last her for the rest of her life.
Not enough to carry civilization up the mountain. Not enough to keep her from harm or the isolation that can drive a soul mad. Not enough to buy me.
What’s the difference when you’d buy her if you had the money.
He slammed his empty glass down. The stout barkeep jumped, then hurried over to him. From the nervous glances he threw Buck’s way, Buck knew the man hadn’t forgotten the brawl.
“Another one, mister?”
Buck shook his head. “I’m leaving.”
He’d pushed off the bar and turned to go when he noticed the one-eyed marshal ambling toward him with a bowlegged gait. He noticed that the man was wearing a pair of moccasins not unlike his own. The marshal made a beeline toward Buck and leaned on the bar right beside him.
“Rose Storm have her baby?”
Buck nodded. “She did.” She had it because I was there to save her, because I caught it in my hands and started it breathing. She’s alive because I saved her life and the child’s.
“Boy or girl?” the old man asked.
“Boy. They call him Joseph.”
The marshal summoned the barkeep with a wave. The man walked over to them. “You owe me four bits, Paddie. Rosie had a boy.”
Buck stepped away from the bar.
“Scott...”
He halted at the sound of the marshal’s voice and turned around. “How did you remember my name, old man?”
Zach Elliot stepped up to Buck and kept his voice low because every man in the place was eyeing them. “You’re a hard one to forget. Not a man within a hundred miles of here don’t know you, not after the kidnapping stories in the paper, not after you showed up and tried to take a piece outta Kase Storm—”
“He jumped me first.”
“That’s just details. What I want to know is, what’s to become of Annika?”
Glancing over Zach’s shoulder, Buck could see the bartender straining to overhear. “You got a bet riding on it?”
Zach rubbed a hand across the lower half of his face and shrugged. “Not yet.”
“Then don’t waste your money bettin’ on me,” Buck said. He turned his back and left the one-eyed marshal staring after him.
If he rode long and hard, he would reach the base of the Laramies before sunup.
“ZACH brought out a telegram. Mother and Caleb are coming out at the end of the month.”
Annika started at the sound of her brother’s voice. “Oh, no.”
“Oh, yes.” Kase couldn’t help but notice her red-rimmed, swollen eyes. He was sorry he’d let Buck Scott off with so light a beating. Leaning against the kitchen cabinet, he folded his arms across his shirt front and watched as his sister cut biscuits out of rolled-out dough. “What are you going to do?”
She drew herself up, pushed a strand of hair off her face with the back of her hand, and smeared flour near the faded scar at her temple. “I’m going to tell them what happened and ask them to stand by me. I want to raise Buttons and I’d like to live near you”—she glanced up at him and tried to smile—“if that’s all right with you.”
“You know it is. You can live with us if you want.”
She shook her head. “You and Rose have a family now. And if Rose has her way, there’ll be more bambinos in this house. I want to do this on my own.”
“Like our mother did.”
“Like mother.”
“Annika, are you hoping Prince Charming will ride up and pass out at your front door the way Caleb did mother’s? That’s a fairy tale that doesn’t happen every day.”
She thought of the last vision she’d had of Buck, of his silhouette against the crimson sky. Annika shook her head. “No,” she said softly, “no, I’m not hoping that at all.” She couldn’t tell him that her prince, the one she’d melodramatically compared to Victor Hugo’s Quasimodo, had ridden off into the sunset without her. There was no one to wait for now.
The biscuits were cut. She carefully lifted them onto a baking pan and then rolled the scraps of dough into a ball. She sprinkled the cabinet with flour, patted the dough ball flat, and cut out two more biscuits. Brushing her hands off, she lifted the pan and carried it over to the oven, opened the door, and expertly slid the flat pan onto the rack.
As she closed the door, she straightened and walked back to Kase. “Don’t feel sorry for me,” she told him.
“I just wish it could have been different. I want you to be happy.”
Annika shrugged and untied her apron to reveal a creamy yellow silk gown of simple lines. She wore it nearly every day, for it was one of the few near suited for work about the house. “We always want those we love to be happy, don’t we? But some things are out of our hands.”
“But if only you could have been spared all of this—”
“That would mean I would never have met Buck Scott, never known another side of life or the love we shared for a time. If he hadn’t come to town to find me he wouldn’t have been here to deliver Joseph.” She walked over to the trestle table and looked down at it without seeing the even row of plates that lined both sides or the cutlery laid out for the men’s breakfasts. “I can’t help but think that this was all meant to be, Kase, no matter how it worked out. Our paths had to cross, Buck’s and mine, and now I have to let him go. Maybe he didn’t love me enough to stay. Maybe he didn’t trust me enough to believe I meant it when I said I would give everything up for him. I know he loved Buttons with all his heart, yet he gave her up so she would be safe and have a chance for a better life. I can always hope he loved me at least half that much.
“In a few months, if God is willing, I’ll have his baby, and just like our mother did when she kept you, I will keep Buck’s child and cherish it and hope he’ll grow up as strong and as proud as his father.” The tears she thought had ended began to flow again. “And like you.”
HE’D been back at Blue Creek for three days now, awake for two long nights staring at the ceiling, wandering the forest by day, ignoring tracks as he glanced up at snatches of sky between the dark pines. Signs of summer had come. Wild-flowers blanketed the meadows; yellow balsam root, monkey flower, and arnica. The pale blues wove a carpet of bluebells, blue gentian, and flax. Reeds and cattails grew along the creek again. Green rushes lined the bank. Great blue herons fished where trout as long as a man’s arm skimmed over the rocks and tempted Buck to try to net them in the pools, but when he looked down into the rushing water, he was reminded of Buttons and the day she’d almost drowned.
The song that once hung on the breeze was gone. The meadowlarks had gone mute, or at least he didn’t notice their singing anymore. His loneliness was far worse now because he didn’t have to guess anymore what Annika’s life was like—he’d seen it for himself—seen her smiling at her sister-in-law, watched her in easy conversation with the ranch hands. He knew firsthand the bond between her and her brother, knew how she dressed and saw the wealth she took for granted.
There was no longer any need to imagine. Everything about her was branded on his brain.
One lone lamp lit the room. He stood up, tired of the quiet, and threw the door open to let in the night sounds—the whine of the crickets, the cry of a lone wolf, bullfrogs singing at the moon.
Hands on hips, he stood on the threshold and stared up at the stars that winked back as if they knew what a joke life had played on him. Turning his back on them, he left the door open and paused in front of the mantel. The tins and jars that held his herbs and curative powders lined the heavy timber. He shifted the cans around, arranged them by size. The nearest living soul who might need his help was miles away.
I could use a good assistant, if for nothing else, for delivering babies.
I’ve seen a veterinarian take out an appendix.
I knew a seamstress once...
<
br /> Buck balled his fist against the mantel and leaned his forehead against it. Was it too late to go back? Was there too much that stood between them?
Money was only one obstacle.
Insanity ran in his family. His pa and Sissy were gone, but Patsy was living proof.
It doesn’t matter, Annika had said.
Words and pictures played over and over in his mind: Annika wary of him on the train; Annika dancing with him before the fire; the sight of her as she dragged Buttons out of the stream; her blood running crimson against the snow after she hit her head; most of all he remembered the thrill that swept through him when she gave herself to him in the firelight.
Annika was everywhere he looked. Her memory would haunt him forever.
KASE poured himself a cup of black coffee and out of habit walked to the back door to look out the window at the stable yard. Too late, he remembered there was no longer a window in the door thanks to Buck Scott, and while one was on order from Cheyenne, he found himself staring at a board nailed over the oval opening.
The house was still dark and quiet. The gray light before dawn was his favorite time; he savored seeing those moments when the world stood on the brink of a brand-new day. Greeting the sun was a time for him to give thanks and he was a man with much to be thankful for these days. He was eager to give thanks for Rose, for Joseph, for the abundance in his life. He took a sip of steaming coffee. A good strong cup of the heady brew made greeting the dawn that much easier.
He opened the door, careful not to make a sound that might disturb the sleeping women upstairs. If Annika knew he was up and about she would insist on rushing down to get breakfast started. As much as she tried to hide it, he could see she tired more easily these days and the shadows beneath her eyes only confirmed it.
A sound across the veranda alerted him to a man’s presence even before he saw him sitting there in the shadows. Kase braced himself, every muscle ready for an attack. When none came, he looked closely at the silent figure seated in the wicker rocker. The big figure dwarfed the white chair and looked absurdly out of place against the floral patterned cushions. The man held the rocker perfectly still; his hat rested on his knees.
Kase spoke just above a whisper, “What are you doing here, Scott?”
“I came to see Annika.”
“To cause her more pain? I’ll kill you before I let you do that again.”
Buck uncurled to his full height and walked across the distance that separated them. “I came to see if she’ll still have me.”
“For good?”
“For good or for bad, but I mean to keep her.”
Kase didn’t say a word as he sized the man up.
“I know you hate me, Storm,” Buck said.
“That’s beside the point. The problem is, my sister’s in love with you.”
“Can I see her?”
“She’s not up,” Kase informed him coolly.
Buck thought of Annika nestled in the deep featherbed, the clean white sheets with their frills and embroidery, remembered her thick blond braid and how it would be neatly draped across one shoulder as she slept—
“Can I go up?” His own words shocked him once they were out. He knew it was an improper request, knew what Storm would say.
Kase surprised him when he nodded.
Buck had to be certain he understood. “I can?”
“I don’t see why not. It’s too late to worry about you stealing her virginity. You’ve already done that.”
Buck curled his hands into fists but knew it wouldn’t do him much good to push Kase Storm any further.
“What if I had told you no, you can’t see her?” Kase asked.
“I’d have gone in anyway.”
“That’s what I was afraid of.” Kase took a sip of coffee. “That’s why I said yes. So if you’re going in, you’d better get before I change my mind.”
Buck brushed past Kase and stalked across the veranda. As he disappeared through the open doorway, Kase looked directly at the rising sun and smiled.
BUCK started up the stairs, his feet silent on the carpet runner. When he heard a gasp he stopped dead still and looked up. Annika stood at the landing at the top of the stairs, her bare feet peeking out from beneath her white nightgown. She looked just the way he knew she would, tall and graceful, rumpled from sleep. Her hair was in a braid.
He smiled.
She rubbed her eyes and stared down at him as if he were a ghost.
“Buck?” She whispered his name, glanced over her shoulder toward the master bedroom, and stepped down two steps.
He stepped up one and held his hand out to her. “I had to come back.”
Wary now, she whispered, “Why?”
He took her hands in his and looked up at her. “For you. For Buttons.”
“But—”
“Is there someplace we can talk?” He glanced back down the stairs, knowing Kase could hear every word they uttered in the stairwell.
“How did you get in?”
“Your brother is on the porch,” he told her. “He let me in.”
He stood aside and let her pass him on the narrow stairs, tempted to reach out and take her in his arms. He waited. There would be time. All the time in the world, he hoped.
Annika turned away from the kitchen and led him into an alcove beneath the stairs. A hall tree stood on the wall opposite them, the stairway formed the angled ceiling in the small, dark space.
“Talk,” she said.
“You look tired,” he told her.
She smiled. Had she really expected love words from Buck Scott? “That’s not exactly what I’ve been dying to hear.”
“I can’t live without you, Annika. I’ve tried and I can’t. I’m willing to be anything you want me to be.”
His open sincerity and the power it gave her frightened her. She let go of his hands and crossed her arms beneath her breasts. “I don’t want you to be anything but what you are, Buck.”
He hung his hat on the hall tree and turned back to her. “I’ve been thinking about what you said about me becoming a doctor, you’ve been pushing me from the beginning—”
“And I’m sorry for that, Buck. I love you. I’ll take you just the way you are.”
He looked up at the ceiling before he met her gaze. “Let me finish. I always wanted to be a doctor, Annika. It was a dream of mine long before you mentioned it. I grew up watching my ma heal the neighbors and bring their babies into the world. Then, when my pa brought us out West, I had to wake up and let go of my dreams. Sissy and Patsy had to be cared for—Pa insisted I become a skinner as soon as I was old enough to help bring in more money.
“Over time, I forgot about doctoring, but I never forgot what I’d learned. I came by it naturally, helped whenever anyone asked, but as for becoming a real doctor, well ... my chances ended when Ma left and we headed west.”
“And now?” she whispered, daring to hope he might dream again.
“Helping Rose, holding that little boy in my hands, it was a miracle that I helped make happen. When I think about how many others I might help with some real training—”
She grabbed his hands, turned them palms up, and kissed them. “I tried to tell you that you have a special gift, one that time can never steal from you. You are a natural healer, Buck. Just think of what you can do when you’re a doctor.”
“It’ll take a long time, but I have money of my own saved up.” When she looked about to protest he cut her off. “I won’t take charity.”
“Then how about a loan?” She threw her arms around his neck and smiled.
He laid his hand against the small of her back and molded her hips against him. “A loan might be all right. But we’ll need official loan papers.”
He kissed her then, long and hard, and when she looked up she said, “As many official papers as you want. My father and brother are both lawyers. If there’s one thing my family knows it’s official papers.”
“We’ll have to get married.” He
kissed her slowly, carefully, holding her as if she were made of the finest porcelain.
When his lips left hers, she smiled a secret smile. “We’ll very definitely have to get married. Now, tell me why.”
“Why what?” he teased.
Annika began to unbutton his shirt. “I want to hear you say the words, Buck.”
The teasing smile left his face as he studied her intently. He took her face between his hands and forced her to stop and look him in the eyes. “I love you, Annika. The sun doesn’t shine for me without you.”
She pulled him close. “I love you, too, and I don’t intend to let you get away again,” she whispered against his ear. In the next moment her fingers slipped inside the waistband of his trousers. And found what they were looking for. She cupped him gently.
“I might go crazy in my old age,” he warned her with a groan against her lips.
“Ah, but what if you don’t, and we live to be a hundred years old together? Who knows what will happen to any of us, Buck? My mother always taught us that happiness comes when you look for the good and let go of the bad.” With light, teasing kisses, she covered his cheek, his lower lip, his chin, stroking him all the while. “After all, you stole me by mistake and it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to us.”
He lifted the hem of her nightgown and found her deliciously naked beneath. “Your brother didn’t seem to think so.”
Annika held her breath as he ran his hands up her thighs. Then she managed to whisper, “He was only worried about me, after all.”
“I can see why. Do you greet all your morning callers this way?” He slipped a finger into her moist recesses, thrilled to find her ready for him.
She clutched his shoulders and leaned into him as he backed her into the wall. “Only ... only the ones that arrive unexpectedly.”
They both froze when they heard Kase’s footsteps on the stairs above them and held their breath until the even tread retreated down the long second-story hallway. Finally, when they heard thedoor to the master bedroom close, Annika relaxed against Buck.
“Buttons will be awake soon,” she whispered against his lips as she unfastened the last button on his pants and began to shove the waistband past his hips.
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