Hawk nor Diesel liked the way things were progressing between her and Rebel. But they both tried to keep out of a fellow brother’s business. And at that point Rebel had done nothing wrong since it wasn’t abnormal for a brother to be possessive of a woman, ol’ lady or not. If she was his regular piece, then it was acceptable.
Even so, Rebel could say all the right words, make her feel good about herself, he was great in bed when he wanted to be, made promises for their future. So when it came time for him to claim her at the table, he did it without telling her first. It was voted on and, suddenly, she was officially Rebel’s ol’ lady without even having a say in the matter. He immediately moved out of church and into the small apartment she had at the time.
Then he became demanding. He hated that she worked at the bar where other men could ogle or hit on her. She had to have dinner made exactly at the time he wanted. Not a minute before or a minute after. Didn’t matter whether he was late or didn’t plan to come home at all. Bella lived with it because she thought he loved her, the sex could be somewhat decent when he wasn’t drunk or high, and he hadn’t done anything to harm her. He was simply a bit on the bossy side. Again, nothing she wasn’t used to.
Then suddenly, she had a ring on her finger and a marriage certificate in her hand. And with her future set, she was ready to start their family.
She wanted to be the first one to bring the fourth generation DAMC into the world, so she stopped taking birth control.
And then it began... Out of the blue, bossiness turned to slurs, insults, and demands she wasn’t willing to fulfill. When she didn’t do as he demanded it turned physical. A twist of a wrist, a smack across her face, a lit cigarette to the bottom of her foot. Nothing noticeable to anyone else.
She was about to tell Hawk and Diesel, to let the club deal with Rebel’s ass, but she discovered she was pregnant. It thrilled but scared her at the same time. She didn’t want to raise her child in an abusive relationship. She told him she was pregnant and would leave if the abuse didn’t stop. He promised he’d do better.
He promised.
But it didn’t stop. It got worse. And the night she packed her things to leave the apartment, to leave him, changed her life forever.
Then Axel found her, came back into her life for the worst possible reason. And he never left, no matter how many times she pushed him away.
But he wouldn’t let go...
“Let go,” he murmured, as she rocked her hips back and forth, taking his whole length then letting him slip almost completely from her. Almost, but not quite.
His thumb circled her clit, making her insides clench around him tightly.
Their eyes met and held. “Where’d you go?” he asked gently.
She shook her head. “Nowhere.”
“You never have to lie to me, Bella.”
She didn’t answer him, instead she picked up the pace. He needed to be quiet and not force any issues or the past. To just enjoy what they had. This moment, this night.
Because nothing else was guaranteed.
Whether he wanted to admit it or not, she was not the one for him. She wouldn’t be able to give him a family. She would never be accepted in his. Or him in hers.
Even if they both wanted that, it would never work. She knew that back in high school and that’s why she left him alone. She’d catch him sneaking glimpses at her, but he always kept his distance.
It was for the best then. It would be for the best now.
She just needed him to fill her soul for a little while, then she could tolerate going back to being alone. He could fill his need for her and then go find the right woman for him. One his father would be proud of, one that could produce the next generation of Jamisons. Children that would rightfully fill those seats around the table at Christmas dinner.
It wasn’t her. It would never be her.
He needed to realize that. Somebody better was out there for him. Someone that would make him whole. Someone who he hadn’t seen almost bleeding to death on a kitchen floor after being too weak to leave her abuser. Too weak to protect herself and her unborn child.
He didn’t deserve someone like that. He was strong and strength was what he needed by his side.
But she would take tonight and think about what could’ve been if they’d been raised differently, if they’d had a shot years before she met Rebel. Before the biker charmed her and convinced her life with him would be good. When she was still a woman who went by Izzy and hadn’t changed her nickname yet in an attempt to escape her past.
“Bella,” he whispered.
She glanced down at the man beneath her and wished things had been different.
But they weren’t.
He reached up and brushed at a tear rolling down her check. She glanced at the wetness on his thumb in surprise, she hadn’t even realized she’d been crying.
Again, more weakness. She blinked the rest of them away and masked her sadness with a smile.
She was relieved when he didn’t ask her what was wrong, didn’t insist she spill her thoughts. Instead, he rolled them over, taking her gently, slowly and lovingly.
Which made her want to cry all over again.
She didn’t deserve the goodness of him. And he didn’t deserve someone with a scarred past.
“No matter what’s in your head right now, just know this... I love you.”
She closed her eyes at his words, the burn behind her eyelids now more intense.
“Don’t shut me out.” When she couldn’t answer him, he continued, “Promise me that, baby. Please.”
She wanted to promise him she wouldn’t, but she couldn’t say the words. She didn’t want to disappoint him if she couldn’t keep her promise.
Instead she stared up at him, cupped the unbruised side of his face and whispered, “I love you, too.”
Uncertainty flickered behind his eyes and it killed her that she had put it there.
“That’s all we need and we can get through anything.”
She doubted that was true, but saw no point in telling him otherwise.
She lifted her hips to meet his thrusts as she trailed her hand down his back until she reached his ass. The muscles under her fingers contracted and flexed with each push of his hips as he kept his pace slow and steady, turning the sex into something that was so much more.
To him probably a promise of what could be. For her an acknowledgement of something that may never be.
“Baby, I need to come inside you. But first, you need to come for me.”
Bowing his body above hers, he kissed the scar at the curve of her breast, then sucked one nipple, then the other. He teased the tips with his tongue, then nibbled along her skin until he reached the hollow of her throat where he kissed her gently. Rolling her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, she arched her back and cried out.
In a flash his gentleness was gone. He drove hard and fast in and out of her until she tilted her hips to meet his every thrust, welcoming the pounding, the reminder of how this man could be tender one minute then intense the next.
The harder he twisted her nipple the more she clamped down on him, making him hiss out a breath. His fingers found their connection, where they were joined so intimately, then teased her clit until she cried out again.
Seconds later she felt the rush, the wave that spiraled out from her core all the way to the tips of her fingers and toes, then it came crashing back to her center.
“Axel,” she whimpered.
“Yeah, baby. Tell me you love me.”
When she breathed the words, “I love you,” he stiffened and stilled above her. The root of his cock throbbed intensely against her sensitive, swollen flesh as he spilled himself deep within her. Once again giving her a piece of him.
Even if it was only temporary.
Chapter Eight
Slade pushed through the swinging doors of the commercial kitchen that separated the clubhouse from the public side.
“It over?” Bella asked
as she slid a pint of beer in front of a customer.
“Yeah.”
Bella watched the man as he stepped behind the bar. His hair was still trimmed as high and tight as when he first entered The Iron Horse all those months ago. His haircut reminded her of Axel’s, though for him it was a leftover from when he’d been in the military. If it wasn’t for the tattoos that crept up his neck and completely covered his arms he could pass for some sort of law enforcement.
Besides being a former Marine, Bella had to admit she didn’t know much about the man. Only that he’d patched into another club previously, but bought out his membership when that club began doing some sort of illegal activity.
She also knew Diesel wasn’t on board with the way Slade patched into DAMC. Most prospects had to do at least a year before even being considered. Slade did none of that. He just hung around the club for a few months on Z’s invitation and then after an executive committee vote, he was handed his cut in exchange for paying his dues.
“You stayin’ or am I takin’ over?” he asked her, sliding behind her close enough that she could feel his heat against her ass. He wasn’t touching her but it was close.
Though she thought the man was hot, she never gave him any indication she was interested. She had never shown any interest in any biker since Rebel. She’d learned her lesson about hooking up with a brother the hard way.
He braced a hand on the bar beside her, practically caging her in. Taking a slow, deep breath, she tried to calm her nerves. She turned, pressing back against the bar to put some space between them.
“Hawk coming?” she asked, keeping the tremor from her words.
He shook his head and stepped back. She was relieved he wasn’t pushing for contact. But when he didn’t answer, she realized he was a typical brother... A man of little words.
“Is he heading home to Kiki?”
“Yeah,” he grunted.
Now that they faced each other, still a little too close for her comfort, he eyeballed her. It wasn’t aggressive, but his look definitely held some interest. The brothers knew to leave her alone and Slade was new, but that was no excuse.
“Wanna hang here with me an’ come up to my room later?” he asked her unexpectedly.
On the surface it sounded innocent and in the past few months, he’d never disrespected any of the women, so his attention caught her off guard. Maybe he wanted to work his way through the available DAMC women.
“Are you done doing Diamond?” she asked, surprised at his offer.
He frowned and jerked his head back. “Never did her.”
“I thought... I heard...”
“She tell you otherwise?”
“No.”
He shrugged, his eyes on her neck. She raised her hand to her throat and could feel her pulse racing under her fingertips.
“Had a couple fun times, that’s it. So...” He tilted his head as he studied her. “Wanna wait around ‘til I’m done here?”
Out of nowhere, Diesel was towering over Slade. He scrubbed his fingers over his ear. “Hearin’ must be fucked,” he barked. “Thought I heard you offerin’ to stick your dick in my cousin. Can’t be right.”
Slade turned to face Diesel, his shoulders squaring off. “Up to her. She can say no.”
Diesel’s eyes narrowed and his fists clenched.
Jesus, she did not need D punching Slade out over her, too.
“She ain’t takin’ your dick. Already got a dick in ‘er that shouldn’t be there.”
Bella’s jaw dropped, and she groaned, covering her face with her hands. “For fuck’s sake, D.”
“Rather you be with a brother than a fuckin’ cop, woman. But this ain’t the one.”
Slade’s gaze slid back to her, his brow raised. “A cop? You doin’ Z’s brother?”
She bugged her eyes out at the two of them in disbelief and shook her head. Then she glanced over her shoulder at the customers lining the bar, all listening with great interest.
“It’s no one’s business who I’m doing if I’m doing anyone.” She scowled at Diesel. “Even you.”
He grunted.
She rolled her eyes. “Come with me.”
Bella didn’t even wait to see if her asshole cousin followed her back through the kitchen and into church. When she stepped through the door into the clubhouse, she was dismayed to see there wasn’t any privacy there, either. She should’ve known everyone would be hanging out, drinking and playing pool after the annual club election.
But it would have to do. Grizzly sat at the end of the bar in his usual spot with his perpetual pint of beer sitting in front of him. Crow was sitting at the other end, nursing a whiskey.
His long black silky hair hung loose tonight and her fingers itched to go braid it. She moved closer to him and away from Grizz’s nosey ears.
“Hey, baby,” Crow greeted her softly, his dark eyes flashing.
“Hey, handsome. Can I braid your hair?”
“Fuck no.”
Bella laughed. She always asked, and he always refused. So now it was a regular routine between them.
“Can I just run my fingers through it?”
“Only if you’re naked while you do it,” he shot back his usual response, then took a sip of his whiskey.
“One of these days when I say okay to that, are you going to fall off your stool?”
“Nope, gonna take you upstairs an’ hold you to it,” he murmured back with amusement.
Heat crept into her belly at the thought of doing Crow, though she’d never follow through. It was a nice fantasy, but that was all she ever allowed herself.
She felt Diesel’s massive presence behind her. She sighed and turned toward him, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Said you needed to talk to me after the meetin’, so talk,” he grumbled.
She propped a hip against the bar. “Everything go smoothly at the election?”
“Yep,” Diesel grunted. “Everythin’s as it should be.”
Her gaze slid through the busy common area. Pierce was nowhere in sight.
“He show up?”
“Was here an’ gone, baby.” Crow’s voice sounded just like his honey-like skin tone... warm, smooth and delicious.
Bella nodded as she turned her attention to the ink slinger. “Any problems?”
“Nope,” Crow answered, lifting his whiskey again and taking another sip. “When you gonna let me finish that sleeve of yours?”
“When you do it naked,” she shot back.
Crow gave her a slow, panty-soaking smile. “Deal.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Diesel barked. “Bad ‘nough I gotta hear Slade tryin’ to get down your pants...”
Crow’s head spun toward him, and Bella decided she needed this to stop before it got blown out of proportion.
“He was just flirting.”
“No, what you an’ Crow do is flirtin’, he was tryin’ to get his dick wet.”
“It was harmless. I’m not interested and I think he knows it now.”
“Gonna make sure it’s clear,” D mumbled, glancing back toward the double swinging doors to the kitchen.
“D, let it go.”
He grunted.
She released a long, loud sigh. “Anyway, I do need to talk to you.”
“’Bout what?”
“Warriors.”
D scowled. “What about ‘em?”
“Got a text today from...” She drifted off. Maybe now was not a good time to mention Axel’s name. “Got a message earlier today saying all the toys from the donation boxes were taken and the storage unit was emptied.”
Crow whistled low while D shouted, “What the fuck!”
“I stopped out there before coming here. It’s true. The padlock had been cut off and there wasn’t anything left in the unit. It had been cleaned out completely.”
“Sure it was those piles of dog shit?” Crow asked, now ignoring his whiskey and his eyes hard like black diamonds.
“Not sure. The PD�
�s investigating it since their stuff was taken, too. They’ll be checking with the business owners.”
“Toys still in the box at my shop,” Crow mentioned.
Bella nodded. There was no way a Warrior could walk into any of the DAMC businesses and take the toys from the donation boxes without someone stopping them, including the one in Crow’s tattoo shop. “Good, but you should’ve seen how much we and the PD had collected. And we weren’t the only two organizations using the unit for that purpose.”
“Fuck,” D grumbled.
“Yeah, D, fuck. Thousands and thousands of dollars’ worth of toys for needy children.”
“Gonna fence the shit probably,” he mumbled.
“Do me a favor and check with Magnum to see if they were hit, too. If so, then we know it had to be those bastards.”
“Gonna get my crew on it,” D grumbled, sending a text, she hoped to Magnum, as they spoke.
“Keep it on the D.L., D.”
He cocked a heavy brow in her direction. “Need a woman tellin’ me how to handle shit?”
Bella rolled her eyes at him. “Just saying, SVPD took a report.”
“Mean that pig who stuck his dick in you took a report.”
“If you mean pig as in Axel, Z’s brother, then yes.”
“What about my so-called brother?” Zak asked, taking a seat on the stool next to Crow.
D jerked his chin toward her. “Caught the fucker in ‘er bed.”
Crow and Z both shouted, “What?” at the same time.
Normally, she’d find that simultaneous outraged reaction humorous. Tonight, it was anything but.
She whacked D on the arm. “You mind not telling everyone about my sex life?”
“Didn’t know you had one,” Crow murmured. “Always wearin’ that ‘property of no one’ bullshit.”
Bella planted her hands on her hips and turned on Crow. “Do I ask you who you’re boning?”
He picked up his whiskey and hid his grin behind the glass.
She answered for him. “Didn’t think so. Now, can we get back to Toys for Tots?”
“What about it?” Z asked.
“Wiped out,” D grunted.
Z was clearly confused. “What’s wiped out?”
Down & Dirty: Axel (Dirty Angels MC Book 5) Page 10