‘That’s not true.’
‘No, it isn’t. But it nearly is. I’m going to resign.’
‘You’re over-reacting.’
‘No, I’m not. I’m tired, Kev. I want to stay home with you.’ She leaned across and tightly gripped his hand. She could feel all the years of physical work in the rough skin, the strength in his fingers. Just thinking of the idea of him being taken away from her, as Neil had been from Penny. All the regret she would feel, that they hadn’t done the things they’d been planning and talking about for years. It was going to be up to her to make those things happen, she realised. She had forced Kev into coming to this restaurant tonight because she had been so angry she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Look what had happened. He’d thoroughly enjoyed himself. No one had taken any notice of them. He had spilt only one thing, and so what? There were worse things in the world than a blind man spilling a bit of soup on a tablecloth. Tonight was the start of their new life, she decided. They were going to go and do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. The two of them.
‘You’ve been too quiet for too long,’ he said. ‘I can hear your mind ticking from here. You know that makes me nervous.’
‘I’m hatching a few plans, now you mention it.’
‘Let me guess. You’re going to stay at home and watch me for hours every day? Not let me out of your sight?’
‘That’s it.’
‘Be a bit boring for you, won’t it?’
‘Yes. So you better start learning a few tricks.’
‘I’ve always wanted to try juggling or fire-eating.’
‘Perfect,’ she said, knowing he would hear the smile in her voice. ‘We’ll sit around to begin with. Just so we get to know each other again. But it’s time we started doing more stuff together, too. Not just around the house, either. I think we should take a few trips. Just get in the car and head off somewhere.’
‘Like where?’
‘I don’t know. Up the coast to Queensland. Take the ferry to Tasmania, drive around there for a couple of weeks. We could even drive over to Perth if we wanted to.’
‘That all sounds pretty good.’
‘You think so? Good.’
‘There’s just one big problem, though.’
‘What’s that, love?’
‘I’m not sure I can do my share of the driving.’
She was suddenly laughing and crying at the same time. ‘I don’t mind, Kev. I don’t mind one bit.’
It had been after one by the time they got home. They had lain in bed talking for another hour. Gloria checked the time now. Nearly six. She might as well get up. She switched off the alarm before it sounded. She’d get ready for work and then make Kev’s tea. She wished Melissa was going to be in the office today. She was in the mood for a showdown.
She had just filled the kettle when the sound of the phone ringing made her jump. She snatched it up quickly before the noise woke Kev.
‘Gloria, it’s Austin. How are things?’
He’d barely given her time to say hello. How were things? Where did she start? She had found out Melissa was selling the business from under them, she had decided to resign and she’d been up all night talking about it. ‘There’s been a fair bit going on over here, Austin, to tell you the truth.’
He wasn’t listening. ‘Gloria, I’m in Cork. We’ve been looking at the newspapers. We’ve found out what happened and it’s terrible. Lara’s parents weren’t killed in a car crash. It was a murder–suicide. Lara’s mother killed her father, and then killed herself.’
Gloria couldn’t answer. She’d waited twenty-four years to hear someone else say it and now the day had come she felt no relief, no sadness. She just felt numb.
‘Gloria? Did you hear what I said?’
‘Yes, Austin, I did.’
‘Aren’t you shocked?’
‘No, I’m not.’ She had no reason to be shocked. She realised what she felt was complete and overwhelming exhaustion.
‘You’re not? Why not?’
‘Because I already knew.’
‘You knew? You knew the car crash never happened?’
At last she didn’t have to pretend. ‘Yes, I did. I’ve known for twenty-four years.’ She waited for the flare of temper. He didn’t disappoint her.
‘I can’t believe this. We’ve been looking for her, worrying about her and you knew the whole time? Knew Cork was probably where she was going? That this was what she was going to find out? And you said nothing?’
‘I made a promise to your mother.’
He raised his voice. ‘For Christ’s sake, Gloria. My mother is dead. How could you do this to Lara?’
Twenty-four years of anger welled in Gloria. How dare he talk to her like that? How dare he sound so self-righteous? She’d had enough.
‘How could I do this to Lara?’ Her voice was as loud as his. ‘How could your mother do this to me? Do you think I wanted to be the secret keeper? The one who knew? Of course I didn’t. How do you think it has been for me, Austin? It was your family, your secret. I never wanted to know, back then, or even now. I loved your parents, and I love all of you children, but I didn’t want this. I never wanted it. And don’t you ever, ever talk to me like that again.’
‘I’m sorry.’
She was beyond apologies. ‘You need to be more than sorry. If you stopped thinking about yourself and your own selfish charmed life for one moment, and looked out into the world occasionally, Austin Turner, then you’d have the right to talk to me like this. But you don’t. So you have no right to question my relationship with your mother and you have no right to tell me what I should or shouldn’t have said to you, to Lara, or to anyone. It was your mother who made the decision, Austin. She decided to change the story that night. She did it to protect Lara. She thought she was too young to hear something so terrible. That it would change the way people would treat her in Merryn Bay. And perhaps she was right, perhaps she was wrong. I don’t know. All I know is I have hated knowing all these years and I still hate it.’
There was a shocked silence. ‘Gloria, are you all right?’
‘No, Austin. I’m not all right.’
‘I’m sorry, Gloria, I’m really sorry.’ A long pause. ‘I’m sorry.’
There was a long silence and then Gloria spoke again. ‘Tell me. What did you find out? And how?’
He told her, in a subdued voice. Gloria didn’t interrupt. There was nothing she hadn’t already known, nothing Penny hadn’t told her that night. She knew some extra details, in fact. She knew Lara’s mother had lain down next to her husband’s dead body after she had taken the pills. She had been found wrapped around him, holding on to him. There was a bottle of vodka beside them. Her blood alcohol level had been at a dangerous level. The police hadn’t known whether she had drunk the vodka before she killed her husband or afterwards. Gloria kept those details to herself. Austin had no need to hear them now, if ever.
‘Lara must have learnt all this too, mustn’t she?’ Austin said. ‘If we found it, she must have too.’
‘I think so, yes.’
‘How would she have known where to look? Had Mum told her anything?’
‘I know she told her the crash happened near Cork. That would have been enough to start with. Had she been at the library, too?’
‘We asked the librarian. He hadn’t seen her. She might have found out some other way. The police, perhaps. Gloria, it’s horrible.’
‘Yes, it is.’
‘What will this have done to her?’
‘I don’t know.’ She had calmed down a little. ‘I hoped at first when she went missing that it was something else. Then when you rang and said you’d found out she’d gone to Ireland, I knew she must have discovered the truth.’
‘She must be so angry. So hurt. She probably thinks we knew all this time and none of us ever told her. That’s even worse. It would explain so much. Why she left so suddenly. Why she left the tour. Left Harriet like that. That’s why I knew it had to be
something bad. She wouldn’t have done that to Harriet otherwise.’
Gloria felt the exhaustion again. ‘Austin, did you know that Lara and Harriet have barely spoken in the past three months?’
‘They haven’t? But they’re so close. They grew up together. Have they had a fight?’
‘Are they close? I’ve never really known. But yes, I think they have had a fight.’ Once upon a time she would have kept her observation to herself. Now she wanted to unload every Turner secret she had. ‘Something happened with your mother’s death. I don’t know what. Something that upset Harriet terribly.’
‘She wasn’t there when Mum died, I know that. Or Dad. But she came to terms with it, didn’t she? And is it important right now?’
‘Yes, it is. It’s another fact about your family. Or is this how it will always be with you all? Hiding things, not saying anything and then suffering the consequences after?’
‘Gloria, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
She felt the wave of tiredness again. ‘It’s all right, Austin. I don’t know either.’
‘What do I do about Lara, Gloria? Do I go to the house? To Glen View?’
Her head was hurting. She felt like she had spent more time over the years worrying about the Turners than about her own family. She massaged her temples, trying to concentrate. ‘I don’t know, Austin.’
‘I think I should. And I think Harriet should be there too. That feels like the right thing to do. So Lara knows we care about her.’
‘Then that’s what you should do.’
‘But what do I say to her, Gloria?’
It was simple, at last. ‘You tell her the truth, Austin. You tell her that you love her. That we all love her. And that we’re sorry. For everything.’
She said goodbye then. There was nothing else to say. She had just hung up and leaned back against the chair, shutting her eyes, when she heard a noise and felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned.
It was Kevin. ‘You want to tell me what that was all about, love?’
In Cork, Nina was hearing no arguments. ‘Now, Austin. You ring your sister now.’
‘It’s a bit late. I don’t know if I should.’
‘Austin, ring her. You can’t keep something like this to yourself any longer. Your whole family has to know.’
He tried Harriet’s mobile number. It was switched to voicemail. He was about to speak when he hung up. ‘I can’t leave a message. It’s going to be hard enough as it is telling her news like this over the phone.’
‘Then leave a message asking her to ring you back.’
‘I’ll try her tomorrow.’
‘Why not now?’
It was complicated. He was worried news like this might tip Harriet over the edge again. But Nina was right about the whole family needing to know. He already had the other number he needed from the time he’d rung the hospital the night Lara went missing. It was early, but hospitals started early. He dialled and was put straight through this time.
‘James, it’s Austin. I’m sorry if I woke you up.’
‘Austin? You didn’t, don’t worry. Have you got news on Lara?’
‘I have. It’s not good news, either.’ Austin told him everything.
James was silent for a time. Then he spoke. ‘Shit, Austin. You don’t think she’s gone there to kill herself too, do you?’
James had said out loud what Austin was thinking. ‘I don’t know. Maybe. That’s why I want to get there as soon as I can.’
‘You’re going on your own? What about Harriet? Wouldn’t it be better if you were both there?’
‘Of course it would. I’ve tried her phone but I just got voicemail. You don’t know where she’d be at the moment, do you? Is there another number for her I could try?’
‘Hold on, I’ve got the itinerary here.’ Austin heard a rustling of paper. ‘They’ve had a free evening. Tomorrow’s the last day of the tour. They’re doing a quick trip to Marazion to see St Michael’s Mount, then it’s their farewell lunch. Mrs Lamerton’s organised a Willoughby quiz for that, I think. And Mrs Kempton’s got a Patch jumper that she’s going to give Patrick Shawcross.’
Austin shut his eyes. Spare me the details, James.
James was still reading. ‘After lunch they go by bus to Bath to link up with the other tour company for the All Creatures Great and Small and Monarch of the Glen tours. Harriet drops Patrick Shawcross at Bristol Airport so he can fly back to Boston and then she’ll be free for a week. She could get to you in the afternoon. Could it wait till then?’
Austin ran his fingers through his hair. How the hell did he know? Was Lara at this moment getting ready to kill herself? Had she already done it? ‘I don’t know. How would you react if you found out something like this, James? If it had been our parents?’
James fell quiet again. ‘I’d be shocked. Horrified. Angry. But Austin, I can also see why Mum would have kept it secret. Do you remember it all happened so quickly? Mum told us about Mr and Mrs Robinson being killed and then Lara was living with us the next day. I can see why Mum might have said something like that to begin with. What I can’t understand is why she didn’t tell Lara the truth when she was older.’ He answered his own query. ‘Though where would you start? When would you decide it was the right age to tell someone something like that. The poor kid.’
Not kid. Lara was thirty-two. But then so was Harriet, and Austin still thought of her as a kid. He was still puzzling over what Gloria had said about the relationship being tricky between Harriet and Lara. He didn’t think it was true. They had always been best of friends, hadn’t they? There must have been a few spats – he remembered Harriet storming off once or twice, but she had gone through a storming off phase for a few years. Was it because of Lara, though? He needed to talk about it. ‘James, what did you think when Lara came to live with us?’
‘I liked her. I’ve always liked her. She’s my sister as far as I’m concerned. She’s a brilliant tour guide too.’
‘She didn’t change your life?’
‘Change it? In what way?’
‘Affect you? Bother you?’
‘No, it was just good to have another sister. It made it easier to play some of those games, with four of us instead of three. I suppose if it affected anyone, it was Harriet. She bore the brunt of it.’
‘Bore the brunt?’
‘Well, Harriet had been Mum and Dad’s number one girl for eight years. Ours too. So I’d say it was tough for her at first when Lara came along.’
‘Maybe you’re right.’ Nina had said that too. So had Gloria. Why hadn’t he seen any of this? What had he been doing the whole time they were growing up? ‘Harriet’s doing really well with that Willoughby tour, by the way. That actor was singing her praises.’
‘I’m not surprised. She just lost her confidence there for a while.’
James was making too much sense. Being too knowledgeable. Austin was feeling more and more confused. ‘I’d better go. Thanks for your help.’ He was surprised how helpful James had been. He felt a shimmer of guilt. Just because he didn’t like James’s wife didn’t mean he and James couldn’t get on. He was his only brother, after all. Perhaps he should have kept in touch a bit more …
‘So you’ll ring Harriet now?’ James said. ‘Get her to come as soon as she can? I think you should. I think it would be better for Lara if there were two of you.’
‘I’ll call her right now.’
‘Keep me up-to-date, will you?’
‘Sure.’ He forced himself to ask the question. ‘And Melissa’s okay?’
‘Fine. In Melbourne for a couple of days.’
‘And Molly? All fine with her?’
‘No worries at all,’ James said.
In Merryn Bay, Molly was curled up on top of the bedspread, her face pressed into the pillow, trying to muffle her tears. Nobody had ever told her it would hurt this much. She wanted her mum. She wanted her dad. She wanted Lara and Harriet and all her family around h
er. She didn’t want to be a grown-up. She wanted to be a kid again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
An hour later Austin still hadn’t managed to get Harriet on the phone. He was getting anxious. ‘Her mobile keeps ringing out. And she’s not in her room, either. She can’t have gone far, can she?’
‘Maybe she’s with one of the guests,’ Nina said. ‘Can you ask to be put through to another room, in case she’s there?’
‘I don’t know the name of any of the guests. I only know the actor’s name. The special guest.’
‘Try his room, then. He might know where she is.’
Austin dialled the number of the St Ives hotel again. ‘Could you put me through to Patrick Shawcross’s room please?’
Harriet was in Patrick’s bed, being kissed slowly and beautifully, her body coming alive again under Patrick’s fingers. She stroked his naked body, too, loving the feel of his skin, loving—
The noise of the phone on the bedside table was like an alarm, making them both jump. They ignored it at first. It kept going. They reluctantly separated. Patrick reached out a brown arm to the receiver.
‘Hello?’ He listened. ‘She is, yes. Just a moment.’ He turned to Harriet. ‘It’s for you. It’s your brother.’
Five minutes later, Harriet was still in Patrick’s bed, naked, the sheet wrapped around her. He was half-dressed, wearing jeans, sitting at the end of the bed, watching her, his expression concerned.
She still couldn’t make sense of what Austin was saying to her. Since she’d taken the phone he hadn’t stopped talking about flight schedules and Nina and Ireland and police and he still hadn’t told her what he’d found out about Lara. All he had said was he knew where Lara was and he wanted Harriet to fly to Cork as soon as possible and go with him to see her.
She finally managed to interrupt him. ‘Austin, please, slow down for a minute. I can’t come just like that. I can’t abandon the tour group.’
‘You won’t be abandoning them. I told you. Nina’s offered to come over and take your place. I’ve checked out all the flights. She can fly in just before you fly out tomorrow. There’ll be enough time for a handover. And don’t worry, Nina will be great. She’s worked in her parents’ restaurant for years, she’s good with people. She knows the area. She’ll get them to the meeting place in Bath and she can make sure Patrick Shawcross gets his flight too.’
Family Baggage Page 37