by Luke Young
FRIENDS WITH REAL BENEFITS
A Friends With Benefits Novel
LUKE YOUNG
V1.1
Table of Contents
Friends With Real Benefits
Friends Wanting Benefits Excerpt
Chances Aren’t Excerpt
1
“Cops, my husband is touching my breasts, my buttocks and my bagina,” said the adorable and precocious Kaylie Nash. The four and a half year-old was speaking into her play cellphone as she reported her domestic complaint. Sitting at the kitchen island with his eyes locked on Sports Center, her twenty-five-year-old father, Jim shoveled a spoonful of Cheerios into his mouth. He gasped in response to the amazing diving catch the Marlins’ center fielder made, which replayed in slow-motion. Suddenly, he narrowed his eyes and his attention wandered over to his daughter, who still had the phone pressed to her ear. She stood in front of her kid-sized stove frying eggs in a pan. He shook his head with a smile, convinced he’d heard her wrong, then promptly returned his focus to the television.
That was until she repeated her disturbingly detailed police report. With alarm he rose up from his seat, walked to her and knelt down with his jaw hanging open. “Angel?”
Kaylie looked up to him with a smile. “Yes, Daddy.”
“What did you just s—”
“Jim?” Victoria Wilde-Nash, the blonde, attractive, forty-three year-old burst into the kitchen. “I’m running late. I have a client in less than thirty minutes. You think you could drop her off at school today?”
“Oh, yeah, sure.” He rose to his feet and looked at his wife with concern. “Um, I think we may have a slight problem.”
“What’s that?” Victoria grabbed the coffee pot and poured a cup.
“Our daughter is, um, married…” He made a face. “… and apparently to a man who’s a little too handsy.”
“What?” Victoria giggled.
“And she’s reporting some sort of… sexual assault.”
“What the heck are you talking about?” She looked at him like he was losing it.
“She’s on her phone with the police and she just said that her…” His eyes bugged out of his head. “… husband is touching her breasts, buttocks and her, uh…” He continued in a whisper, “her bagina.”
“Oh…” Smiling, Victoria flapped her hand at him dismissively. “I had a talk with her last night about inappropriate touching and she’s just repeating some things that I said.”
“Okay, I thought for a minute there… Geez, I don’t know what I thought.” He shook his head then wrinkled his nose. “Wait, what the heck were you telling her and, um, why again exactly?”
Victoria took a sip of coffee. “Sorry, maybe I should have mentioned this to you first, but she’s in school now and away from us and I think she’s developmentally ready. So it was time to talk to her about all this.”
“Okay, yeah, that makes sense, I guess.” He processed that a moment then shrugged. “But it sounds like she’s, I don’t know, maybe missing the message or—”
“Don’t worry. I’ll straighten this out.” Victoria turned to her daughter. “Kaylie, honey, what are you doing?”
The little girl looked up from her stove. “Cooking breakfast, mommy.”
“Oh, okay, but who were you on the phone with?”
“The cops,” she announced in the sweetest damn voice ever.
Victoria let a chuckle escape from her lips before covering her mouth. Turning to her husband, she mouthed, ‘She’s adorable.’
“I know,” Jim replied with a big smile.
“Honey, why are you on the phone with the, um, the cops?” She fought to maintain a straight face.
“Inapple-pate touching.” She nodded enthusiastically. “I’m telling them about touching.”
“Oh, okay.” Victoria frowned. “Um, and who did you tell them was touching you?”
“My husband.” She gazed up to her mother bright eyed.
Victoria looked to Jim pressing her lips together, obviously desperate to hold it together before returning her attention to her little girl. “Okay, um, well, honey, you’re not married and—”
“I know mommy. I’m just prat-sing.”
“Oh, you’re practicing.” She nodded with a smile. “But you know that we don’t lie about inappropriate touching don’t you?”
“Yes, I know.” Kaylie nodded quickly then returned her attention to her pan.
Victoria knelt down next to her. “Baby, so daddies can sometimes touch mommies in their private areas and that’s not bad.”
“I know,” Kaylie began. “Daddy is always touching you in private spots.”
Jim’s jaw dropped and Victoria held back a snicker. After taking a moment to compose herself, she continued, “Yes, so when you are a mommy like—”
“In forty years from now,” Jim grumbled.
Victoria shot him a look.
“What?” He shrugged.
She returned her attention to her daughter. “When you’re a mommy that would be okay.”
“Uh-huh.”
“So can you tell me what inappropriate touches are?”
Kaylie replied, “When someone touches your private spots and makes you feel con-foosed or sad.”
“That’s right.”
“And what are your private spots?”
“Any place that a bathing suit covers.”
“That’s right.” Victoria smiled. “And you know that when mommy or daddy or grandma or grandpa or even aunt Jillian or uncle Brian are giving you a bath they might help you wash there and that’s okay.”
Kaylie nodded with her eyes wide.
“So we really don’t want to pretend to call the police or say someone touched us that way unless it’s really true.”
“Okay, mommy.” Kaylie smiled. “I won’t play cops again.”
“Good.” Victoria kissed her head then rose to her feet. Turning her attention to Jim, she said, “Wow, this parenting thing isn’t easy.”
“Tell me about it.” He sighed. “And I’m serious about the forty-year thing. I really don’t want her even dating until then.”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, yeah.”
“I’m serious.”
“Let’s just wait until she maybe gets into high school before we revisit that topic.”
“Okay.” He turned to Kaylie. “Honey, why don’t you go potty before we leave for school.”
“Okay, Daddy.” After turning the knob on her play stove top, Kaylie headed out of the room.
When they were alone, Jim moved close to Victoria. “I can’t believe she thinks I touch you in private spots all the time.”
“Well, you really can’t keep your hands off of me.”
“Yeah, I know…” He shrugged. “But I don’t do it in front of her.”
“Maybe she notices more than you think.”
“I guess I’ll have to be more careful.”
“She probably won’t be scarred for life or anything.”
“Hopefully not.” He shot her a sexy smile. “You know, I was actually thinking of touching you in a few of those places that your bathing suit covers maybe, um… later tonight.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” He nodded casually wearing a mischievous smile.
“I was sort of hoping you might.” She placed her hand on his forearm and smirked. “And I probably won’t call the cops.”
“I’d prefer if you didn’t.”
They shared a laugh.
“See you later.” He kissed her on the lips then turned to go.
2
Leaning back in his home
sauna, twenty-nine-year-old Brian Nash took a sip of beer. “Oh man, I’m wiped out. That was a great match.”
He’d just played tennis with one of his old college friends. Jeremy worked in New York for a large insurance company and traveled often on business, lately frequenting the Miami office. Jeremy shook his head. “It was… until you started beating the crap out of me.”
“I was in a zone there for a while. I couldn’t miss.”
“Yeah, like from game three on.” Jeremy chuckled then took a pull from his bottle.
The two men relaxed, wearing only towels, with the sweat pouring off of them.
Brian took another sip. “It’s great seeing you again, dude.”
“I know man. Sorry, it’s been too long.” The twenty-five-year-old tall, muscular Jeremy closed his eyes then exhaled deeply before running his hand through his damp, dark-brown hair. He sighed, turning to his friend as he added, “Don’t you miss those college days? No responsibilities. Playing as much tennis as we wanted. Drinking four nights a week.”
“Sort of.” Brian shrugged. “Well, I can’t drink like that anymore, but I still play a lot with the club and all.”
“Sure.” Jeremy nodded. “Man, what a dream job.”
“I know.”
“Look at you, two kids, that gorgeous wife. You own your own business. This house is amazing— the tennis court, pool and you’ve got a fucking sauna.” Jeremy backhanded Brian’s knee, frowning. “I mean, who’s got a sauna in their house?”
“Sometimes I can’t believe it myself.” Brian exhaled. “When I met Jillian my life was sort of a disaster, but now sometimes it doesn’t even seem real. Like I’m going to wake up and find out it was all some crazy dream.”
“No, it’s real dude.” Jeremy shook his head. “You are living the dream.”
“You’re doing fine. A great job and Cristina is beautiful. We should all get together some time. Does she ever travel with you?”
“Um, well, I probably should have told you.” Jeremy grimaced. “We’ve sorta mutually decided to see other people.”
“What?” Brian asked, sitting up. “Mutually… what does that mean?”
“Well, she decided that I was an asshole who was never going to ask her to marry him and she started banging some other dude.”
“Shit, were you?”
“What, an asshole?”
“No…” Brian chuckled. “Were you going to ask her to marry you?”
“Um…” Jeremy’s scowl relaxed into more of a frown. “At some point, maybe, I guess.”
“Are you in love with her?”
Wiping the sweat from his brow, Jeremy sighed. “God, she was… beautiful and fun and I don’t know. It’s just so permanent, you know, like forever. I couldn’t picture myself settling down. There are still things I want to do that, um, shit, man I don’t know.”
“No, I get it.” After placing his bottle on the bench, Brian ran his hands through his hair. “It’s a big step.”
“So, how did you know Jillian was going to be your last, you know…”
“My last?” Brian snorted back a laugh. “As if I were running through women like you were.”
“You didn’t miss out on much. Sometimes I wish I’d had a steady girlfriend all through college.”
“Yeah…” Brian frowned. “It must have been rough having all those women throw themselves at you and having to sleep with so many of them.”
“There weren’t that many.”
“Okay, yeah, right.” Brian slumped back, exhaling deeply. “Let’s see, Jillian was my fifth.”
“Fifth!” Jeremy’s eyes bugged out of his head until he noticed his friends glare. “Sorry dude, five is, um, you know, plenty.”
“Right plenty…” Brian rolled his eyes. “But yeah, I had one relationship that lasted two months and the other three girls were just horrible one night stands. My experience with women wasn’t exactly all that deep. What about you?”
“What?”
“How many?”
Jeremy said, “Um, well, you know, I…”
“How many?” Brian shot him a pointed look then downed a gulp of his beer.
Jeremy cocked his head. “Like tenish—”
“Huh… That’s a lot less than I thought. Now, I don’t feel like a complete loser.”
“You didn’t let me finish. About ten since I graduated.”
“In two years, ten!” Brian scoffed. “And you were dating Christine for, what, eighteen months of that?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you cheat on her?”
“No.”
Brian shook his head. “So, that’s what… ten women in about six months?”
“Something like that. It’s like not even two per month.”
“Okay, you Cocksman.” Brian shot him a sneer. “And in college?”
Jeremy looked at him, unsure. “Now, that’s where things get a little tricky. I was in that frat and, you know, that’s not even fair. It’s like having a license to get laid.”
“How many?” Brian gazed at him, waiting.
“Man, I don’t know.” Jeremy frowned.
“Ballpark it.”
“If I had to guess…” Seemingly doing the math in his head, Jeremy shrugged. “I’d say like, um… sixty in college.”
Brian grunted. “Sixty in college, ten since then—”
“Plus Christine.”
“Okay, eleven since.”
Jeremy grinned. “And don’t forget high school.”
“Fuck you.” Brian sneered. “You got laid in high school?”
“I was on the football team, dude.”
“Shit.” Brian let out a long, slow breath. “Don’t tell me the high school number. I don’t want to have to kill myself.”
“Okay.”
They shared a laugh.
“Have you ever heard of S.T.D.s?” Brian wiped the sweat from his chest. “How in the hell didn’t your dick fall off?”
“Condoms.” Jeremy smiled. “Always wore a condom. Well, except for Christine.”
“Good for you…” Brian widened his eyes. “… and apparently for the thriving condom industry.”
They shared another laugh then Jeremy said, “Well, you’ve won dude. I’ll bet Jillian rocks your world. I mean, if you don’t mind me saying, she’s got a tight little body and that ass.” Jeremy’s mouth dropped open as he shook his head. “Give me a fucking break.”
“I know. I know, she’s amazing. She’s smart… funny and she’s passionate… I mean, I thought I was in love before, but it’s nothing like what I thought it actually was…” Brian shrugged. “You know.”
“No, I don’t know because I don’t think I’ve ever really been there.”
“You’ll know it when it happens.”
Jeremy sat up straight, placing his elbows on his knees. “And the way Jillian was looking at you while we were playing— No one’s ever looked at me like that. It was like… fuck it… I shouldn’t say.”
“Say what?” Brian smiled.
“No, it’s inappropriate.”
“Listen, Jillian writes dirty novels and her friend Victoria is a sex therapist. Nothing is inappropriate in this house. There is so much sex talk going on around here that it would make your head spin.”
“You know that look.” Jeremy nodded confidently, glancing to his friend.
“What look?”
“That look like… like if you two were alone she would have blown you right there… twice.”
“Really? I didn’t notice.”
Jeremy elbowed him in the arm. “So tell me does she, you know, do that?”
“She’s a fan.” Brian smiled. “But she doesn’t like it so much when I go down on her.”
“Well, you probably suck at it.” Jeremy chuckled.
“Screw you.” Brian scowled.
“I’m kidding.”
Suddenly the door to the sauna opened and Jillian poked her head in carrying a bucket filled with bottles of beer packed
in ice. “I figured you guys could use another.”
“You are the perfect woman, Jillian.” Jeremy sat up, smiling at her.
“I try,” she replied
“I’m serious,” Jeremy said.
Wearing a big towel securely wrapped around her breasts, she stepped into the sauna, placed the bucket down on the bench and sat across from them.
Jeremy motioned to her from head to toe. “I mean, what other woman looks like you do and brings her husband an icy cold one down to the sauna?”
“I’m sure there are some others like me out there.” She winked. “But they aren’t easy to find.”
“You’ve got that right,” Brian agreed.
Jillian said, “Oh, Brian my mother called. She insisted on keeping the boys for the night.”
“Oh, okay.”
She motioned toward the bucket. “You guys ready for another?”
“Almost,” Jeremy replied before he tilted back his bottle.
“Definitely,” Brian said.
After handing her husband a beer, Jillian slumped back and took a deep breath. She rubbed her hand on the back of her neck, sighing obviously enjoying the restorative heat. Her gaze went from Brian to Jeremy then back to her husband. A few moments of awkward silence followed then Jillian pressed her lips together. “Sorry, I just barged in here. I probably should have asked if you guys were in the middle of something.”
“No.” Jeremy waved his hand at her. “We were just chatting.”
“About?” She asked.
“How many women…” Frowning, Brian motioned with his beer toward his friend. “… super stud here has been with.”
“Knock it off.” Jeremy rolled his eyes, slumping back with his legs spread a little as he took another pull from his beer.
“You guys should really talk sometime,” Brian began. “He could probably give you a ton of ideas for a new book.”
“He’s exaggerating.” Jeremy frowned, shaking his head.
“Let me be the judge of that.” Jillian said. “I’m the erotic romance expert.”
“Okay.” Jeremy chuckled before draining the rest of his beer.
“Why don’t you have another?” Jillian flashed him a smile as she handed over a bottle. “Maybe then you’ll be ready to open up.”
Jeremy forced a frown. “Okay, you twisted my arm.”