Pieces of Me

by Rachel Ryan

  “You don’t need to hide from me, Shorty. I know you better than anyone. I know exactly what is going through your mind right now.”

  Lifting my chin I challenge, “Oh, yeah? Enlighten me.”

  Jake leans in closer and his gaze drops to my mouth. “You’re thinking about my hands being on your body as we danced. You’re also thinking about my lips on yours and my tongue in your mouth, exploring, tasting.”

  My breaths are coming shorter and faster as I stare into the dark pools of his eyes. How does this man get me so worked up with just a few words? I can feel my chest rise and fall as I try to get my racing heart under control. The movement of my chest catches his eye and he stares down at the top of my shirt. He reaches out a hand and I look down to see him clasp the chain of my locket, gently tugging until it appears above my shirt.

  His brow creases and his eyes snap back to mine.

  “You’re wearing the locket I gave you.”

  “I never take it off.”

  Jakes eyes seem to glaze over and he looks back down as he opens the locket. The picture of us stares straight back at him and he rubs his thumb over it.

  “You were my best friend, Jake. That meant a lot to me.” Reaching up I remove the locket from his grasp and tuck it back into my shirt. “Unlike you, I never forgot that.”

  I stand up and walk away while he sits there, looking like I just slapped him in the face. But, I spoke the truth. These feelings have been festering inside of me for six years; it’s inevitable they are going to come out at some stage. Finding my sister on the dance floor, wrapped in Levi’s arms, I tap her on the shoulder and tell her that I’m leaving.

  She tells me to give her a minute so I wait outside the bar until she appears with Levi beside her.

  “Levi offered to walk us home.”

  “Great, thanks.” I offer Levi a tight smile as we head toward our street.

  Fifteen minutes later we arrive at our apartment; this trip taking a little longer than the last one, no thanks to the alcohol and the heavy heart.

  Cameron and Levi are walking hand in hand and I smile as I turn back to wish Levi good night and thank him for walking us home. I enter the apartment, closing the door behind me to give them some privacy, and head straight to the bathroom to remove my makeup and put on some silky white pyjama shorts and a matching camisole. Making my way to the kitchen, I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and sit down on the couch, pulling my hair into a messy bun on top of my head, my mind going over the events of the night.

  Suddenly, the door opens and Cameron walks in followed by Levi and…Jake. Sitting up straight I look back at Cameron.

  She grins at me “Looks like we had a stray follow us home. Make yourself comfortable, Jake. Levi and I will go and get some drinks and snacks.” She grabs Levi’s hand and drags him to the kitchen before I can argue. Jake takes a few steps toward the couch as his eyes scan the room.

  “This is a really nice place, Shorty.” My breath catches when I hear him call me that. His eyes roam down and it’s only then that I remember that I’m sitting here in tiny silky pyjamas. Of course he’s seen me in my pyjamas before, but I didn’t really have anything to show back then. His eyes stop when they get to my chest and I assume he’s staring at my breasts, which are braless under the camisole, so I fold my arms in front of them. Glancing down, I realise that folding my arms has only pushed them up and made them more obvious so I drop my arms back to my sides. His eyes meet mine and I can see desire in them. He moves toward me slowly and sits down beside me on the couch. I watch him patiently, waiting for him to say something, but he doesn’t. He just sits there staring into my eyes. Suddenly, he lifts his hand and he runs the back of his finger down the side of my face.

  Closing my eyes, I try not to lean into his touch as I mentally remind myself about Daniel, saying his name in my mind over and over again.

  “You’ve grown into such a beautiful woman, Shorty. You always were beautiful, but now you’re stunning.”

  My heart aches to hear him say these words that I have longed to hear for so many years. Why is he doing this now? I finally felt like I was moving on with my life and then after so long he appears back in my life and pulls me straight back where I was before. Loneliness, bitterness, anguish. I can’t go back to that place. I won’t.

  I move my face away from his hand and open my eyes to see his glum expression.

  “Please don’t do this to me, Jake.”

  “Do what, Shorty?”

  “You know what. I have a boyfriend.”

  He almost flinches at my words.

  “I know. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t go back to being friends. We were friends for so long…”

  I open my mouth to say God knows what when Cameron and Levi walk into the room carrying a tray of cheese and crackers and a bottle of tequila.

  “Who’s thirsty?” Cameron places some shot glasses on the table as there is a knock on the door. Glancing at the clock on the wall I wonder who could be here at ten thirty at night. Maybe it’s Sarah, or one of Jake’s other friends.

  Cameron walks over and throws open the door and I gasp as I realise it’s Daniel.

  Rising from the couch, I make my way toward Daniel who has just walked in and placed a large duffel bag on the floor just inside the door. He grabs me around the waist and pulls me into his body, placing a light, chaste kiss on my lips. His eyes search the room and then he looks back at me “Have I interrupted something?”

  Shaking my head I keep my eyes on him, scared of what I will see if I glance at Jake. “No, Cameron and I ran into an old friend and we have just been catching up.”

  Daniels eyebrows lift in confusion as he glances at Levi, then Jake and he frowns as he looks down at my pyjamas.

  “When did you get back?”

  “My flight landed an hour ago and I came straight here. I wasn’t sure if you would be awake or not, but I didn’t think you would mind me showing up unannounced.” His eyes wander back in Jake’s direction “Perhaps I should have called ahead.”

  I see movement in my peripheral and turn to see Jake rising from the couch. “We were just leaving anyway, weren’t we Levi.” Levi shrugs and glances down at Cameron.

  She leans into him and whispers. “Call me.”

  Jake walks toward the door and turns to look at me “I’ll see you on Monday, Shorty.” Before nodding at Daniel and walking out the door. Levi raises a hand in a brief wave as he follows closely behind him.

  Cameron glances between the two of us a couple of times before stretching her arms above her head and letting out a fake yawn.

  “Well, I’m beat. Good night, guys.”

  She disappears into her bedroom and as I stand quietly beside Daniel I find myself feeling awkward and…is it guilt I’m feeling? No, I have nothing to feel guilty about. I didn’t invite Jake here, plus we’re only friends.

  Looking up I realise Daniel is watching me closely, his brows drawn together.

  “Abbi, are you okay? I can just go home if you would prefer?”

  Pulling him over to the couch I sit down and wait for him to do the same. “Don’t be silly. I missed you. Of course I want you to be here.”

  Breathing out a sigh of relief, Daniel sits down on the couch and places a kiss on my cheek.

  “So, who were those guys?”

  Shrugging, I glance down at my lap and pull the hem of my shorts down a little lower, not realising they had ridden up to the tops of my thighs when I sat down. I wonder if they had done that when Jake was here.

  “One of them was an old friend from high school.” I have never told Daniel about Jake. For a start we haven’t been together that long and are still discovering new things about each other constantly.

  “Oh. Does he live in Sydney?”

  “He just moved here recently for work. Turns out he is the new music teacher at school.”

  Daniel frowns. “At your school? That’s a bit of a coincidence.”

  Nodding, I rea
ch over to the coffee table and grab a cracker to nibble on.

  Changing the topic of conversation I ask Daniel about his trip and for the next half an hour he fills me in about where he stayed, the food he ate and the weather.

  Glancing at the clock I try to stifle a yawn.

  “Am I boring you?” He grins as he says it, but I think he is serious.

  “What? No, I’m just really tired.”

  “Me too. Let’s go to bed.” He stands up and holds a hand out for me.

  Hand in hand we walk into my room and I climb under the covers as he begins to strip off all of his clothes. Watching him, I find my eyes travelling down his body. He is a lot shorter than Jake and doesn’t have the most prominent muscles. He works out a little bit but doesn’t get a lot of time with all of the travelling. His stomach is flat, but no six pack abs like Jake used to have. I wonder if he still does. Looking back up at his face, I notice he hasn’t shaved for a while and has a bit of a goatee happening. It actually suits him and makes him look a little…rougher. Jake always seems to have a slight shadow but nothing more. Wait a minute. Why am I lying here comparing Daniel to Jake? I guess I’m still getting over the shock of seeing him again after all of these years, but I really need to stop thinking about him.

  Daniel climbs into bed beside me and as I stare into his blue eyes, I find myself wishing I was staring into chocolate brown ones. I roll over and snuggle my back into Daniel’s chest feeling guilty. I shouldn’t even be thinking about Jake at a time like this. Daniel wraps his arm around me and places gentle kisses along the back of my neck. I close my eyes and try to get the vision of warm, brown eyes out of my head.

  Chapter Seven

  I wake up feeling hot… too hot… like I’m being smothered. I open my eyes and suddenly remember that Daniel is beside me. I push on his chest and slide out from underneath him. He doesn’t even stir; he just rolls over and continues to snore, loudly.

  Wandering out into the kitchen for my morning coffee, I come across Cameron sitting at the kitchen table reading a fashion magazine.

  “Good morning.”

  She glances up at me with a grin. “Hey, sis. How did you sleep?”

  Shrugging, I pour my coffee and sit opposite her. “Okay. So…” Grinning back at her I ask, “Have you heard from Levi yet?”

  Her smile gets bigger and she nods her head. “I have actually. He called early this morning and said that he and a bunch of guys were out surfing and he wanted us to come along.” Glancing at the clock on the microwave, I can see it’s only 7:15.

  “What time did he call you?”

  “Only fifteen minutes ago.”

  Running my pointer finger along the rim of my mug, I ask her if she’s going.

  “Yeah, I was just waiting for you to wake up. He told me to bring you along.”

  Nodding, I smile at her. “You guys seem to have hit it off pretty well last night.”

  Cameron actually blushes. Wow! I think that’s the first time I have ever seen her blush.

  “He’s a really nice guy. He is twenty three and is a personal trainer. He also owns his own gym in the city.”

  “Wow.” I’m impressed. “So that must be where Brady works.”

  Cameron nods and watches me closely. “Yeah, he said Brady works there and Jake is there all the time working out. That would explain why they all have the hottest bodies.”

  I feel the warmth spread over my cheeks. “Oh, really. I hadn’t noticed.”

  Cameron smiles. “Come on. I saw you checking Jake out all night. How could you not? That man is delicious with those big brown eyes, framed by long, dark lashes. And those dimples…oh man…if I didn’t suspect that he was madly in love with you, I would be trying to break me off a piece of that. Don’t worry though; he was checking you out too.”

  “Who was checking her out?” I turn to see Daniel walking into the kitchen in his jeans and shirt.

  Cameron laughs “Oh, just some guy at the bar last night.”

  Daniel leans down and kisses my cheek as he stands behind my chair.

  “Well, she is beautiful. Just as long as they are only looking; I’m the only one that gets to touch this beauty.” I cringe as he laughs at his own comment.

  “I’m sorry to rush out so early, but I have to get home and unpack and run some errands. I leave again in two days on a trip to Tasmania. I’ll call you later this afternoon, okay.”

  Nodding, I lift my face for a light kiss on the lips and watch him walk out the door.

  Cameron watches me with a bewildered look on her face. As soon as she hears the front door close she shakes her head.

  “Abs, I hate to sound like a bitch, but what the hell do you see in that guy? He obviously only turned up here last night for one thing. As soon as he gets it he’s out the door and ready to take off on his next work trip.” There are those quotation fingers again.

  “Cameron, he didn’t come here for one thing.”

  “Bullshit. Who visits their girlfriend after being away for a week and then fucks off early the next morning? A guy who’s only in it for one thing, that’s who!”

  I reassure her. “Cameron, I know he isn’t only in it for one thing.” She’s watching me with one eyebrow raised. “And the reason I know this is because I haven’t offered him that one thing.”

  Cameron’s chin almost hits the table. “What? After six months?”

  Shaking my head I reply “Sex isn’t everything.”

  “Why have you not done it after six months? You obviously feel no physical attraction to him then. Otherwise, you’d be going at it like rabbits.”

  “That’s not it. I’m attracted to him.”

  “Then what is it?” She stares at me for a few seconds. “Have you still got your v-card?”

  I blush and look down at my mug. “Not that it’s any of your business, but, yes, I’m still a virgin.”

  “Wow. I’m totally speechless…how…why?”

  Shrugging, I look back at her shocked face. “I don’t know. I’ve just never felt ready for that. I guess I’ve just been waiting for the right guy and the right time.” I’m beginning to feel really uncomfortable discussing my sex life with my baby sister.

  Cameron eyes me suspiciously. “You’ve been waiting for Jake.”

  Choking on my mouthful of coffee, it squirts out of my mouth and across the table.

  “What?”

  Cameron is nodding as she wipes up the coffee with some paper towel. “I saw the way you were watching him last night. You were in love with him weren’t you? When he left you, you were in love with him.”

  I shake my head and rise from my chair walking to the sink to rinse out my mug. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. We had our chance six years ago and it wasn’t meant to be. That ship has sailed.”

  Cameron walks up behind me and places a hand on my shoulder “Abbi, it doesn’t have to be like that. He’s back in your life. Maybe it is meant to be.”

  Turning, I look into her eyes. “He broke my heart the day he left and then two years later he shattered it into a million pieces. It has taken me four long years to put those pieces back together. I can’t go through that again.”

  Cameron smiles sadly. “Okay, sis. Whatever you say.”

  An hour later Cameron pulls her little car into the parking lot of the beach where she had arranged to meet Levi. He’s waiting for her and his face lights up in a huge grin when she steps out of the car. Watching from inside the car, I can see his eyes take in the length of her bikini clad body. Cameron got her looks from our dad, he’s tall and slender and she is the same. She has never had an issue with weight, even though she eats like a horse. I on the other hand am short and curvy and if I even look at a piece of cake I put on a kilo. As I get out Cameron locks the car and we make our way over to Levi.

  “Morning, ladies. Glad you could make it.” He is wearing a wetsuit that is currently unzipped and hanging down around his hips and I can’t help but admire his body. He has tanned skin and his muscles
are…wow. No wonder Cameron is keen on this one.

  He leads us down to the beach and closer to the water’s edge I can see a group of guys and a bunch of surfboards standing up in the sand. My steps falter as I see a familiar dark head of hair. I suspected he might have been here with Levi, but I wasn’t sure. As we get closer the sight of him standing there in his wetsuit, hanging down around his hips like Levi’s takes my breath away. It’s been a long time since I have seen his body and he has changed quite a bit. He was always toned from the many hours of football and surfing, but now he just looks…like a man…a really sexy man. Six years ago he was still a boy becoming a man, but now, he is tall, tanned, muscular and…hot. He glances in our direction and his eyes meet mine. As we step up beside the group of guys they all turn and look at us. Scanning their faces I can see the guys from the bar, Brady, Wes and Tristan and there are two other guys sitting around in their wetsuits. They are all good looking guys and I feel kind of shy as Levi introduces us to all of them.

  “Brady, Wes, Tristan, you remember Cameron and Abbi from last night? And girls the other two over there are Tristan’s brother Nathan and his friend Sam. And of course, you already know Jake.”

  My eyes snap to his to see him smiling down at me. “Hey, Shorty.”

  Smiling at him I drop my beach bag onto the sand while Cameron spreads her towel down. She really does draw a lot of attention in her tiny black bikini. As I glance around at the guys I notice most of them watching her, except for Nathan who is staring right at me with a smile on his handsome face. I smile back at him and plonk down onto the sand. Brady stands up and zips up his wetsuit.

  “Time for round two. Who’s with me?” Most of the guys follow him into the water with their boards except for Levi who sits down beside Cameron and Nathan who gets up and moves over to sit beside me on the sand.

  I glance over at Jake who seems to be debating whether to follow Brady or not and when he looks over and sees Nathan sitting beside me he zips up his wetsuit grabs his board and runs toward the water.