“You okay?” my brother said as he got in the bed next to me and held me tight.
“What do you think?”
“I think you’re feeling the same way I am.”
“Angry that our father was a liar and a coward?” I could feel JJ shake from trying to chuckle silently.
“I was going to say shocked and confused, but I guess angry is an accurate emotion to have.”
It amazed me how levelheaded JJ could be through all this. He was definitely more like Mama than I was.
“I just don’t get it, J. How could he do that to us? To Mom?”
“Who knows what they were going through at the time?” There was the levelheadedness again. I couldn’t understand how he remained so calm about the situation. I was steaming from my eyeballs. I was so mad I couldn’t even cry if I tried.
“Yeah, but to lie to your wife and children for twenty-six years is beyond me. I mean, am I even mom’s child or did he have another mistress?”
My brother laughed out loud this time. “Trust me, you definitely belong to Mom. I remember when she was pregnant with you and all I wanted to do was poke her belly with a stick.”
We both laughed at his comment. I wished I would have known my brother was trying to play human piñata with our mother. I appreciated my brother’s humor but I was still very angry.
“I don’t think I want to go to the funeral tomorrow.”
My brother sat up in the bed and turned me toward him. He scanned my face for a moment to make sure that I knew what I was saying. “Are you serious?” he finally asked.
“Yes. I don’t know if I can handle it. I have lost all respect for that man and I can’t go to a thing where people are glorifying him.”
The look in my brother’s eyes was one of hurt. I couldn’t tell if it was from the situation or from the comment I just made. Either way, it kind of made me sad to look at.
“Look, I know you are hurt but that is our father. You have to go tomorrow.”
“How can I look those people in the face and be sincere? How am I supposed to look Morgan in the face and not see twenty-six years of lies?”
My brother took a moment before he spoke. He glanced around the room almost like he was searching on my dressers for the words to say next. “Don’t take this out on Morgan. Cousin, sister, whatever, she has always been family. And she is an innocent bystander just like us.”
“He had a special relationship with her because he knew all along. Do you know I hated her for that? I felt like he was closer to her than he was to me and it was because he knew he made a mistake that he couldn’t fix.” I felt the tears creeping up. My anger began to turn into hurt as I continued to talk about my father. I thought I was past the crying, but knowing the reason why my dad was the way he was with Morgan brought back all those old feelings of resentment.
“He made a horrible mistake.” My brother began to wipe my tears from my cheek. “And you . . . we have every right to be mad at him. But tomorrow we need to recognize him for all the good that he was. Because if you don’t say your last good-bye to Dad before they put him in the ground, I promise you’ll be angrier with yourself than you would ever be at him.”
JJ kissed me on my forehead and hopped off my bed. He picked up the picture of my father and me when I was a little girl that I had knocked down in anger and placed in on my bedside table.
“Get some rest, we got a big day tomorrow.” He walked out the room and shut my door behind him. He always did that when he felt like I needed to be alone with my thoughts.
I loved and hated my brother for being so understanding. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to be justified in my emotions and here he came making me feel bad.
I glanced over at the picture of us. I remembered that day like it was yesterday. It was the first time he ever took me to the county fair. I was around eight and I was just big enough to ride all the rides. I was so excited that it was just me and Dad because JJ got in trouble at school and couldn’t go. He let me eat as much food and candy I wanted and rode every single ride with me until I threw up everything I ate. It was literally the best day of my life.
Tears began to fall down my face as I thought about the moments when he was the greatest dad in the world. I was so blinded by my jealousy about his and Morgan’s relationship, I didn’t recognize the one I had with him. JJ was right. If I didn’t say my last good-byes tomorrow, I would regret it for the rest of my life.
I closed my eyes and prayed that the Lord work on my heart and give me the strength for forgiveness. I was going to need a lot of that in the morning.
Chapter 31
Morgan
I didn’t think I had ever felt weirder in my life than I did waking up this morning. I wasn’t prepared to go to my uncle’s funeral today and I was even less prepared for my union ceremony right after. I had absolutely no idea how Michael pulled together the loose ends to our ceremony but he told me everything was taken care of. I still wasn’t sure who was coming but I informed everyone about the change in location. Whoever showed would be welcomed, and whoever didn’t would not be missed.
I showered and dressed quickly for the funeral. I had butterflies the whole time almost to the point of throwing up. The faster this day was over with, the faster I could get back to normal life. All this commotion was giving me heart palpitations.
I walked into the kitchen and it appeared I wasn’t the only one who got dressed early. They all sat solemn at the table, trying to keep down the little bites of food they were putting in their mouths. I couldn’t understand how they could eat. My stomach was doing back flips, cartwheels, and summersaults. I would be happy if I could make it through the day without having to go to the bathroom every ten minutes. I wanted to speak, but the vibe was so intense that it felt like I was walking on landmines. Any sudden movement and the whole thing would go up in smoke. Everyone was being cooperative and I was going to keep it that way; at least for today.
“We better get a move on if we’re gonna make the procession in time,” my father said as he got up from the table, taking sips of his last little bit of coffee.
The plan was that everyone was going to meet at Uncle Bug’s house and ride the procession from there. I could only remember being in one of these things when my grandma died and I just remembered a lot of cars. We gathered our stuff and proceeded to our meeting spot.
When we arrived at Uncle Bug’s house it was pure chaos. Being a part of nine siblings meant that there was a lot of immediate family. Cousins, aunts, and uncles I hadn’t seen in years were all at the house. Some people noticed that I had Ahvi on my arm and inquired about her, some people were so distraught they didn’t even notice, and some people just stared. It was a little uncomfortable, but this moment wasn’t about Ahvi and me; it was about Uncle Bug and I was going to make sure it stayed that way.
We weren’t at the house long before the funeral director instructed us to proceed to our assigned cars. I finally saw JJ and Janette when I was making my way to the third limo, but there was too much going on for me to speak to them. I hoped that there would be sometime today when I could clear the air, especially with Janette. I knew her emotions were pretty high right now, but I wanted her to know that I had nothing against her. We’re family and I wanted us to have a mutual love and respect for each other.
The car ride to the church was really sad. It began to hit me that my favorite uncle was no longer here. I wasn’t going to be able to call him long distance and joke about random things. Tears began to fall and I was thanking God for waterproof mascara because I would be a train wreck for our ceremony later. I sat next to my mom on the ride there and she grabbed my hand once she realized I was crying. It made the tears fall down more because it was the first loving interaction we’d had in a few days.
“Baby, I want you to know that no matter what, I have always and will always love you.” She lifted up my head and it was the first time me made solid eye contact since Ahvi arrived.
“I know, Mam
a.” I lifted her hand to my mouth and kissed the back of it.
“Before we go in I need to tell you something.”
The car stopped and I looked out the window to see that we’d arrived at the church. The funeral director navigated all the cars behind the limos into the parking lot and opened the doors of the vehicles that we were in, motioning us to get out and line up.
“How ’bout we talk afterward, okay?” I kissed my mama on the cheek and got out of the car.
It took us at least twenty minutes to get lined up and ready to walk in the church. Ahvi rode with me in the limo but didn’t think it was appropriate to walk in with me. I made sure she got in the church and to a decent seat before I lined up with the rest of my family. When we began to walk I took a deep breath and tried to keep my composure.
Walking down the aisle of the church toward my uncle’s body was so overwhelming. I could hear people wailing and it made me even more emotional. This was the first time I’d seen my uncle since he died and I wasn’t sure I could handle it. When I saw my mama almost pass out and my dad have to carry her to her seat, I was a little over my head. I broke down as soon as I saw him. Beau quickly moved next to me and grabbed me before I passed out like my mom. He helped me to my seat and I was so grateful that he was there.
The pastor started the service as soon as the last family member sat down. I really wasn’t paying attention but it sounded like it was the normal hoopla that they say at a funeral. It wasn’t until he started reading the eulogy that was printed in the program that I actually started listening.
“He is survived by his wife and two children,” he read aloud.
“Three.”
At first I didn’t know who blurted that out, but then I saw people looking toward Janette. She stood up and JJ tried his best to sit her back down. “I just want to make sure that there are no lies in his eulogy. He is survived by his three children.”
I had no clue what had gotten into Janette, but it was not the time or place. Everyone around her was trying to tell her to sit down and not make a scene, but she looked determined to get whatever was bothering her off her chest. If this weren’t a funeral it may have been entertaining, but it was just sad and inappropriate.
“I mean, my father had been lying for over twenty-five years, so why not tell the truth when he’s dead? He has three children. JJ, me, and Morgan.”
The gasps around the church were out of control. It was almost like she said “Morgan,” but I know that couldn’t be me. There was no way that was possible.
“What is she talking about?” I turned to my parents and they had looks of shock and guilt on their face.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
I was so confused about what was going on and why it was going on now.
“In case you didn’t know, you are our half sister, not our cousin, the product of Joe Maxson and a runaway who died having you.” The words coming out of Janette’s mouth were so unbelievable, which was why I didn’t understand why it hurt so bad hearing them.
I looked at my parents once again and the looks on their faces told me everything I needed to know. I looked around the church and realized all eyes were on me. The only reaction I could do was to get up and get out of there as fast as I could.
“Morgan.” I heard both of my parents call after me, trying to get me to stay. I ran out into the parking lot and began to weep uncontrollably. What the hell was going on?
“Morgan.” My mom and dad—or aunt and uncle—came right out behind me.
“What the hell was she talking about?” I immediately needed answers. I didn’t want to hear their excuses. “Is Bug my father?”
“Yes,” my mother blurted out. I almost dropped to my knees. “Joe had an affair and your birth mother died in labor, so we took you in as our own. But, Morgan, you are ours. We raised you, we loved you, and we will always consider you our daughter.”
I tried to catch my breath but this was making my head spin. “You guys lied to me,” I finally said.
“We were trying to protect you.” My father interjected this time. “You were still blood and we gave you a good home.”
What they were saying right now was irrelevant. I was so hurt. “You two keep something so huge from me, but you have the audacity to be upset about hiding the person I’m in love with from you. I should have never come back.”
“Morgan, please don’t hate us. We were only trying to do what’s right.” My mother tried to walk toward me but I backed up. I wasn’t in the mood for her comfort.
“What’s in the lockbox under your bed?” I knew it was an odd question, but I needed to know if it was connected.
“What?” My mother’s fake confusion face wasn’t fooling anybody.
“The lockbox under your bed. What’s in it?” I had never raised my voice to my parents before, but seeing as these weren’t my real parents I didn’t feel as bad right now.
“They’re your birth records and official adoption papers.”
My whole body was numb. I knew I wasn’t going crazy. I couldn’t be around these people one more minute. I needed to get out of here like now. I turned and began to trot down the road in my heels. I had no idea where I was going but anywhere was better than being in a room with my so-called family. My whole world has been turned upside down and I really didn’t know what I was going to do. All I wanted to do was just go back to London where I belonged.
Chapter 32
Henry
I couldn’t believe Janette would make this huge scene at her dad’s funeral. I’d seen some messed-up black funerals but that one definitely topped anything I’d ever seen. Everyone in the church was afraid to make a move after the bomb Janette dropped exploded. I felt extremely bad for Morgan. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through right now. The pastor put a rush to the service and we were out of there in less than thirty minutes. Any longer than that and it would have been unbearable to be there.
When it was over I didn’t make my way to the graveyard like everyone else. I had to go find Morgan. I felt like I was the only one who would be able to find her and talk her off the ledge. After driving around for fifteen minutes I ended up by the creek, where I spotted her throwing rocks into the water. I got out the car and made my way toward her. I picked up a rock and skipped it alongside of her.
“You were always good at that,” she said through tear-soaked eyes.
“I had to have some sort of skill to fall back on in this world. You see how football turned out for me.” She laughed and I was happy that I could still bring her a little comfort.
“I’m so screwed up, Henry.” She fell on the ground and put her face in her hands and began to cry.
It broke my heart to see her like this. We may have had our issues but I still cared about her. I sat down next to her and pulled her in my arms. “I don’t think you’re screwed up. I think you are a product of some very unfortunate events and finding out about it is hard.”
She lifted her head from my chest and wiped her face. “I found out that my dead uncle is really my father and my parents adopted me to cover up his affair. I think I am screwed up.”
“Okay, so it is a pretty bad situation, but at the end of the day they are still your blood relatives. Think about it. Even though your uncle didn’t step up as your dad, he was still in your life. And he made sure you had a good home. He could’ve not cared what happened to you or your birth mother.” I surprised myself by how profound I sounded.
“You’re right, but I still think they should have told me at some point.”
“Maybe they should have but the end result is that you know now. And, yes, Janette was a complete jerk for doing it that way, but I’m pretty sure she’s hurt too.” I didn’t know why I just defended Janette when she tried to ruin my life too, but I was trying to move past that.
“How did you know I was here?” Her voice indicated that she was slowly but surely coming out of the self-pity.
“We grew up t
ogether, remember? I know you just as well as you know me.”
“I was such a jerk to you the other day. I’m really sorry about that.” She laid her head on my shoulder and it made me smile a little.
“Yes, you were.” I chuckled. “But it’s cool, you were being honest. And I think we both agree that is something people around here need to do more often.”
She laughed hysterically and I couldn’t help but to laugh too. This had been the most stressful week for all of us and at this point it seemed like the only thing left to do was laugh.
“You want to hear some amazing news?”
“Uh, yeah. That’s like asking a homeless guy if he wants a warm place to sleep.” Her humor was getting dark. I kind of liked it but it scared me a little.
“I’m giving the business to Beau and I’m going to travel around the world for a multimillion dollar company.”
Her mouth dropped when she heard and she wrapped her arms around me. “Henry, that’s amazing. Congratulations.”
“Thank you. I’m really excited about it. I leave in two weeks, New York is my first stop.” It was almost surreal saying it out loud. I had never imagined myself being in this place, but I was happy about it.
“Wow, that’s really great. You’ll love New York, but do you really trust Beau with the business?”
“Not really, but he deserves it.” It was good talking to Morgan like this without arguing about the past. I could be comfortable with being just friends with her. The sun was beginning to beat down on us and I figured that I had done all I could to cheer her up; and now it was time to get her show on the road.
“Okay, so the way I see it we could continue to sit here and feel sorry for ourselves, or I could get you somewhere to get ready for your ceremony. Because the last time I checked there is a very fine European woman walking around here wanting to marry you.”
All in a Day Page 15