by L. Divine
“Are you on crack or something? How dare you talk to me like this? You’re lucky I’ve got good home training; otherwise I would’ve told your ass off a long time ago,” I say, getting hotter and hotter as the minutes pass. Where is Jeremy? And, what does she mean by this happens to him every year? “You don’t know anything about me or my girls or my friendship with Jeremy,” I say, not wanting to defend my relationship to this broad, but I can’t let her get away with talking to me like this.
“Jayd, don’t you think you’re in a little over your head?” she asks.
“Things are not always as they appear,” I say, wishing I had something to throw at her.
“And, sometimes they are just that and nothing more,” she says, looking me up and down like she’s reading my life story. I hate the way people like Mrs. Bennett look at me, especially people who think badly of me and my folk: poor, colored people from the hood. It can be any hood anywhere in the world. It’s just something about being broke that makes us different in the eyes of the other people. This bitch is definitely one of them with a special twist; she’s as racist as they come. And, like all racists, she thinks she’s absolutely right with her ignorant ass.
“Tell Jeremy I’ll meet him in the quad.” I can’t take any more of her bullshit today, not even for Jeremy. How do such evil people become teachers? He’ll just have to go out of his way to find me. I’ve had enough for one day.
Just as I think she’s finally finished, she persists in a low, harsh voice barely audible as I walk away, “You’re not the right type for him, Jayd. He’s way out of your league.”
I would turn around and snap back at her, but I don’t want to give her the satisfaction. I just want Jeremy to hurry the hell up and come on. As I approach the quad, maneuvering my way through couples making out and other students hangin’ out after school, I see KJ and Misty in our old hangout spot. What are they doing here? And, why do I care?
I’ve been wondering what to say to Misty all day about the snitch rumor. Now’s the perfect time to confront her and force the truth out of her. I need to release my anger, and she’s the perfect outlet.
“Jayd,” KJ says, sounding surprised to see me. “What are you doing over here? Shouldn’t you be on the bus by now?” he asks, readjusting himself on the cozy bench made for two.
“And shouldn’t you be at practice? Or are you playing a different sport these days?” I say, referring to Misty’s everlasting games.
“Whatever, Jayd. Don’t be mad because you gave up this man for your new man who’s now on lockdown,” Misty retorts, smacking her gum loudly, which has always annoyed the hell out of me.
“Speaking of which, Misty, did you have anything to do with Jeremy’s bust?” I ask, getting straight to the point. Jeremy should be here any minute, and I don’t want him to witness this little episode. This is between me and Misty. No one else. But, I do want KJ to be a witness to this girl’s true character, as if he doesn’t already know who Misty truly is. He may be ready to move on, but I’ll be damned if it’s with this girl.
“Don’t blame me if your man’s a drug dealer. That’s on him,” she says, expertly evading the question. “Besides, he would’ve been caught eventually. Criminals always are,” she replies with a wicked grin. It’s taking all of my restraint not to throw these cupcakes at her. KJ’s lying back, enjoying his ringside seat at yet another chick fight.
“Ladies, please, not again. Y’all just got off suspension a few days ago. Do you really want to do this now?” KJ mock intervenes. “Besides, Jeremy’s not worth it.”
“What?” I exclaim. “Are you kidding me, KJ? Misty basically admitted to snitching, and regardless of the circumstances, you know that shit is foul and deserves an ass whipping,” I say, ready to throw blows.
“Misty’s a lot of things,” he says, checking her ego a little. “But a snitch ain’t one of them, right, Misty?” he asks, looking Misty in the eye, awaiting her reply. Instead of denying it, which is exactly what I thought she’d do, she surprises me by telling the truth.
“I didn’t mean to tell on him; it just sort of slipped out when I was talking to my mother. And, Stan and Dan happened to be standing right there,” she says, batting her long, curly eyelashes at KJ, feigning the innocent victim. I want to slap the shit out of her right now, but I want to get to the heart of the matter first.
“Misty, what did you tell your mother about Jeremy?” I ask, wanting the full confession.
“I just told her I heard he meets his clients after lunch by the parking lot to exchange goods. That’s all. Stan and Dan busted him on their own,” she responds, conveniently making herself look like a helpless victim, and KJ’s falling for her act. I hope that’s all he’s falling for.
“Your mouth’s writing checks your body can’t cash, Misty. You need to watch your back,” I say, not believing her act for a minute. “If Jeremy goes down for this, you’re going with him.”
“Jayd, regardless of how he got busted, Jeremy’s no good,” KJ says as he grabs his backpack from the ground next to his feet and rises from the bench. “When you’re ready to come back to me, let me know. You’ve got the number.” And, with Misty hot on his trail, he walks away, leaving me fuming. First Mrs. Bennett, now Misty. Broads come in all shapes and sizes, I suppose.
School let out almost twenty minutes ago, and I’m still waiting for Jeremy. I wonder what’s keeping him. I should probably text him and let him know where I am, just in case Mrs. Bennett doesn’t deliver the message. I’ll tell him about this little episode, but not yet. I’ll wait until after his hearing tomorrow. Today I want to concentrate on keeping him at South Bay High and with me for as long as I can, no matter what obstacles our enemies place in our path. Speaking of foes, Ms. Toni walks up to me, catching me off guard as I sit down on an empty bench and send Jeremy a text message.
“Hello, Miss Jackson. What are you doing here after school?” she says, looking over my shoulder at my phone. She’s a good foot taller than me and makes me feel like a midget from where I’m sitting. “I hope you’re not waiting for that boy,” she says, walking from behind the bench to sit down next to me. Placing the envelopes in her hand on her lap, she looks at me and can read the frustration on my face. “Jayd, what’s wrong with you, girl?”
“Nothing,” I say, pressing send on my cell and flipping it closed. “I’m just tired of people running their mouths up at this stupid school,” I say, raising my voice slightly and forgetting who I’m talking to. “Sorry,” I say.
“It’s okay to be upset Jayd,” Ms. Toni says, smiling at me. “Just tell me what happened,” she says. “Does it have something to do with Misty and KJ? I saw them walking toward the main parking lot a moment ago.”
“Yeah, most of it. Can you believe Misty snitched on Jeremy and no one cares? Had I done something like that, the entire Black student population would be out for me,” I say. “And, I know you don’t approve of what Jeremy did, but he doesn’t deserve to be targeted because Misty hates me.”
“Oh, Jayd. You can’t control what Misty does. Don’t you know that by now?” she says, pulling a tissue out of her sweater pocket and handing it to me. “Crying over that girl is a waste of tears. She’ll always start mess because she has nothing else better to do, just like her mama.”
“Ms. Toni, that’s not nice,” I say, laughing a little. I’m glad I ran into her. Talking to her always makes me feel better. Or, at the very least, she makes me laugh.
“Well, it’s the truth and you know it. All Misty and her mother do is talk mess, and that’s not to be envied or feared. All Misty can do is talk because she can’t walk like you do, Jayd. Just know she’ll always be around to cause mischief and she won’t catch you off guard so often.”
“I know you’re right,” I agree. “But, I just feel like I can stop her with one good beat down,” I say, again forgetting my place. Ms. Toni’s cool, but she’s still an adult and doesn’t like to hear me talk about fighting.
“Jayd, th
e best way to get back at her is by ignoring her. Don’t let her get to you, and certainly don’t be confrontational. She lives for getting a rise out of you,” Ms. Toni says, lifting my chin with the tip of her finger and forcing me to look at her. “Jayd, your future’s too bright to let your enemies get the best of you.” She sounds so much like Mama sometimes. What would I do without either one of them? I’m lucky to have more than one mother figure in my life, especially at school. If Ms. Toni had been at my junior high school, maybe I wouldn’t have gotten into so much trouble back then.
“What if one of my enemies is a teacher?” I ask, not wanting to bring up Mrs. Bennett, but I can’t get her off my mind. Ms. Toni has a problem with most of the teachers up here because most of them have a problem with her simply because she’s Black. But Mrs. Bennett, in particular, irritates the hell out of Ms. Toni.
“Okay, what else happened?” Ms. Toni asks. “I guess these tears aren’t just for Misty, are they?”
“No,” I say as I blow my nose into the tissue. “I went to Mrs. Bennett’s room looking for Jeremy, and she was just as rude as ever.”
“What did she say to you?” Ms. Toni asks in a serious voice. She sits up straight and looks at me hard, waiting for my reply.
“It wasn’t so much what she said as the way she said it. She always speaks to me with the most racist tone I’ve ever heard. And, she called me one of those girls, like all Black girls are different from other girls.” And Mrs. Bennett’s right. We are different. But not in the way she meant it. Her “different” was inherently negative and unequal.
“I know what you mean. When we have staff meetings it’s as if I’m the only other person in the room who hears her racist jargon. She’s a crafty one,” Ms. Toni says, looking past me and off into the distance. “You know, Jayd. You shouldn’t take this lying down. Whatever she said to you should be documented. And, the best way to do that is to request a hearing with the principal, Mrs. Bennett, and your counselor. Your mother or grandmother should also be present, for support,” she says, patting me on the leg.
“I don’t want to get them involved in something like this. They don’t have time to fight my battles,” I say. Mama and my mom don’t like coming up to school for anything that doesn’t involve me graduating. Everything else they feel I should be able to take care of on my own.
“Okay, Jayd. But you need an adult to stand by you. The administration won’t take your claim seriously if you don’t. So, I’ll be there to act as your self-appointed ombudsman. You have a right to one, according to the student bylaws,” she says, referring to the bylaws and constitution booklet every student receives in their annual registration packet.
“I don’t know, Ms. Toni. It’s her word against mine. And, if I don’t win, she’ll hold it over my head next year in A.P. English.”
“Don’t worry about next year. Right now you need to let her know she can’t get away with treating you as less than equal. Think of how many other students she’s done this to,” Ms. Toni says. “Think about what I said seriously, Jayd. Unlike Misty, Mrs. Bennett is a person in a position of influence and power. Focus your energy in the right direction and really make a difference,” she says, reclaiming the envelopes in her lap and rising from her seat. I get up to give her a hug.
“I will, Ms. Toni.” As we embrace, I can’t help but wonder what’s holding Jeremy up. I also wonder if Mrs. Bennett’s going to tell him her version of our little conversation.
“Come and talk to me tomorrow, Jayd. Right now I’m running late for a meeting.” As she walks off toward the staff lounge, I continue to wait for Jeremy. If he’s not here in the next fifteen minutes, I’ll have no choice but to leave in order to catch the next bus and still make it home at a decent time. I hope he gets here soon. The late bus is usually crowded, and I don’t want to stand all the way to my Gardena transfer.
8
A Different World
“Hey, being with you is a top priority/Ain’t no need to question the authority.”
—A TRIBE CALLED QUEST
When Jeremy finally arrives, I’m calm, cool, and collected. I don’t want him to worry about my drama with all of his own on the horizon. Instead, I want him to be in full acceptance mode so he can enjoy a cupcake or two in my presence, as the recipe prescribed.
“Hey, Jayd. Sorry I’m late. Are you all right?” Jeremy asks, gently caressing my face with the back of his right hand. “Mrs. Bennett said you were upset when you left her room. Why didn’t you stay and wait for me?” he asks, looking truly concerned. I doubt the broad told him about our conversation. Just thinking about it makes me hot again. But, I don’t want to spoil the few moments we have together.
“Oh, I had to catch up with an old friend,” I say as I regain my composure and force a smile, even though all I can think about is Mrs. Bennett and Misty. “I’m fine, and you?” I ask as he takes my hand and leads me toward the front of the school where he’s parked his car.
“I’m cool. It’s only been one day and I’m already bored out of my mind. My mom’s got me on total lockdown. I can’t even surf. All I do is sit up in the house and watch television or sleep, which is why I’m in no rush to get home,” he says as we approach his car. He’s not even supposed to be on campus, yet he parks where everyone can see him. The boy’s got balls.
“What about your schoolwork?” He’s on the A.P. track like me, so I know he’s got tons of work.
“Well, Mrs. Bennett’s the only teacher who allowed me to come and get my assignments ahead of time. All the other teachers are assholes. They think I won’t be back, so what’s the point of giving me work,” he says, opening the passenger door. Although I detest the broad, at least she has faith in Jeremy. That’s probably the only thing we have in common. “May I give you a ride home, Lady J?” he asks as chivalrous as ever.
“Hell, yes,” I say. I reach over and unlock the car door for him before putting my basket and backpack in the backseat; there aren’t any power locks in his vintage ride.
“So, what do you want to do now?” Jeremy asks as we head off campus toward Compton. I love the smell of his leather interior and coconut air freshener. He keeps this car immaculate.
“Now, you should know there’s no spontaneity allowed in my schedule,” I say, reminding him of how different our worlds are. “I would love to go to the beach, though. It’s a beautiful afternoon,” I wish aloud while placing my left hand on his knee. Just as I make myself a comfortable copilot, Jeremy busts a U-turn right in the middle of the road and heads toward the beach. Luckily, there isn’t any oncoming traffic or cars behind us.
“Whatever you want, my lady,” he says, grasping my left hand from his knee and bringing it up to his lips to kiss it. His lips are so soft, making me wonder what it would be like to kiss him. First kisses always make me nervous. But, I’ll get over it if he wants to make today the day for ours.
“Jeremy, I can’t get home too late. Unlike y’all out here, I got a curfew at all times,” I say, wishing it weren’t true.
“I’ve thought about it, and the way I see it is if I take you home every day, it saves you over an hour on the bus, right?”
“Yes, it would. But, you don’t take me home every day,” I say, kissing his hand back. So far, this is as affectionate as we’ve been.
“But, I can. Then we should have a good hour of chill time every day during the week, that is, if you can handle it.” Chill time. What the hell is that? Is he kidding me? Mama doesn’t even know this boy’s dropping me off at the bus stop because I make sure to get home at roughly the same time every day, regardless of how I get there. Now he wants me to willingly kick it with him after school? Well, I can’t say no. He’s just too irresistible.
I just know Mama wouldn’t approve. She doesn’t like me socializing too much during the week. She thinks it’ll distract me from my schoolwork, not to mention my spirit work. I know she’s right, because Lord knows I’m certainly distracted now, but I still want to hang with Jeremy and
see where he takes us.
“Yeah, but don’t forget I still have to walk home from the bus stop,” I say, reiterating how crucial time is in my world. It takes a good fifteen minutes for me to walk home from the bus stop on Alondra to Gunlock.
“Man, Jayd, you got to learn how to relax, baby. Besides, why can’t I drop you off at home?” he asks.
“Oh, there are several reasons, the main one being I don’t want no more people in my business. Not yet, anyway.” I can already hear my uncles talking shit about me dating a White boy, not to mention all the nosey-ass neighbors. They already tease me enough as it is for going to a White school. Now all I need to do is show up with a White boy to seal my fate as the biggest sell-out in Compton’s history.
“Now, this is new. You, Jayd Jackson, caring about what people think of you. You never cease to amaze me,” Jeremy says, affectionately touching my chin with the tip of his index finger. When we approach the beach I see people are out everywhere. Do these folks have jobs or what? They’re walking their dogs, rollerblading, surfing, you name it, everything but working.
“That’s a good thing. At least I’ll always keep you on your toes,” I say as he parallel parks his fly ride in a metered space right off the sand. As Jeremy walks around to open my door, my cell vibrates, indicating there’s a text message waiting. I didn’t even hear my phone ring. I keep it on low while I’m at school.
“Where were u at lunch? Me and Mickey R going 2 the mall. Call u later. I know you’re with ur man now. Everyone’s talking about it already. Misty saw y’all leave. Later, girl.”
How could Misty have seen us? We were nowhere near the front gate where Mickey, KJ, and most of the other students park. And, why is it news that me and my new man are leaving campus together? Misty’s life is way too mundane if this is hot news to her.