by L. Divine
“Girl, what’s on your mind?” Netta says, seeing what Mama doesn’t because she’s got her head under water. I haven’t started yet.
“I’ll tell you what’s on her mind. It’s those damn little boys she’s running after,” Mama says. “She ain’t got time for her spirit work, schoolwork, or nothing else for that matter. You better be careful about them boys, Jayd. They’ll get your head all twisted up, especially the White ones,” Mama says as Netta takes the long water hose connected to the sink and rinses Mama’s hair.
“Oh, Lynn Mae, you act like you ain’t never been in love before. Ignore your mama, Jayd. She’s just hatin’,” Netta says, laughing at her use of my language.
“Oh, I know you didn’t just call somebody a hater, Miss Netta,” Mama says, ready to jump out the chair. I guess it doesn’t matter what age you are. Nobody likes being called a hater.
“She’s just jealous because it’s been a long time since she had two men fighting over her. And Jayd, your Mama told me about the new White boy you’re dating. Back home, White men used to salivate over Lynn Mae,” Netta adds, on the verge of a good story, I assume.
“Netta, don’t make me get out this chair,” Mama says, sounding more relaxed than she means to. She can’t help but be relaxed when Netta’s scrubbing her head with homemade shampoo—the scents of lavender and eucalyptus rise with the steam from the hot water in the sink.
“As I was saying, White men used to salivate over your mama. Thank God we didn’t have octoroon balls in those days.”
“Funny you mention White men’s fascination with Black women. A teacher mentioned something similar to me the other day, and it really pissed me off,” I say, remembering my disturbing conversation with Mrs. Bennett. She really got under my skin, and so did Carly’s punk-ass comments on Saturday night.
“What teacher?” Mama asks, trying to look up at me through her shampoo-soaked head.
“Oh, Mama, you know who,” I say.
“Not that heffa Mrs. Bennett, I hope.” Mama hates Mrs. Bennett from every story I’ve ever told her. I didn’t really want to get into this today, but it’s still bothering me, and it has a little bit to do with why I haven’t fully committed to Jeremy. What if I’m just a fading curiosity for Jeremy, like the broad said?
“Yes, of course it was her. And she basically told me that White boys, especially the White boy I’m dating right now, all have uncontrollable curiosities about us little colored girls,” I say, waiting for Mama to go off about Mrs. Bennett’s stupid ideas, but she never does.
“Not that I want to agree with Mrs. Bennett, but she does have a good point, Jayd. From my experience, White boys do like Black girls, and some even fall in love with them. But, more often than not, it’s just a simple curiosity which usually ends up hurting the girls more than the boys.” I’m shocked that Mama thinks this way—more shocked that she agrees with Mrs. Bennett.
“Yeah, Jayd, you better listen to your mama on this one. She knows what she’s talking about when it comes to those White men. They courted Lynn Mae from the time she was a little girl. Every White woman in New Orleans had it out for your mama.”
“Netta, please don’t start filling that girl’s head with all those damn stories,” Mama says as Netta rinses her head clean, making a squeaking sound as her hands tightly pull the water from Mama’s shiny hair. Taking the towel tucked into Mama’s cape, Netta covers Mama’s head with it and leads her back to the station to blow-dry Mama’s hair straight before setting it.
“I wouldn’t need to if you would just tell the girl yourself. Her path is obviously very similar to yours, even if she doesn’t have your green eyes and it’s a different time and place. The bottom line is to be careful; you never know what’s in a man’s head.” And with that last comment Netta turns the blow-dryer on full blast, leaving me to concentrate on my quiz.
“You need to have that done before you leave the shop,” Mama yells over the loud noise, pointing to my paper and many colored pens. “If your path is similar to mine, you’ll need to become an expert in your spirit work to help you walk it.” Even though I’m still confused about Jeremy, I’m more confident about my abilities to master my spirit work ever since whipping up that batch of cupcakes for him. Although I’m still not sure if I put enough him-never-leave-me potion in them, since it wasn’t technically part of the recipe. I guess I’ll just have to trust that Jeremy wants to be with me for me, and not because I’m his mocha for the month.
13
I Said, She Said
“Uppity, who me? ’Cause now I’m speaking my thoughts, no longer secrets.”
—KINA
When I get to school this morning, the vibe is chill. I’m a little nervous about confronting Mrs. Bennett. But, I’m more nervous about the impending backlash from her, no matter how this thing turns out. I’m going to repeat everything she said to me verbatim, and I’m going to tell her what she can do with her words.
Walking into the main hall, I notice my girls already at my locker, waiting for the dish of the day. I’ve been debating whether or not to tell them about this morning’s hearing. I’m not sure they’ll really care. They already see me as never being able to shut my mouth about the injustice of our school. But going up against Mrs. Bennett’s enough for them to think I’ve gone completely mad.
“Hey, girl. What’s up?” Mickey asks.
“What’s up is the latest on your boy toy,” Nellie says, not waiting for a good morning, hello, or anything before getting to the point. “Misty told KJ she saw Jeremy in the mall with this girl named Tania a few weeks ago. Apparently, they had a thing over the summer.”
“Oh, I know that girl. She has gym with me,” Mickey says. “I think she’s Persian or something.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen her around. She’s barely here, though. You know her, Jayd. She’s tall, brown eyes and hair, big horse-tooth smile. Hangs out with the other absentee girls,” Nellie says, referring to a small group of hella rich girls who ditch every day to go shopping, get their nails done, play tennis, or whatever other activity they think supersedes school.
“As vivid as your description is Nellie, I still can’t picture who you’re referring to. And besides, what difference does it make? We just started dating. A few weeks ago Jeremy could have seen me walking through the mall with KJ.” For a minute, I remember splitting a Cinnabon with KJ. We did have our good times.
“Yeah, but aren’t you the least bit concerned that she could want him back?” Nellie has too much time on her hands.
“Nellie, I’ve got bigger fish to fry,” I say as I slam my locker door shut and head for first period. “And, if she wants him, he doesn’t seem to want her because I’ve never heard anything about this girl.”
“Even more reason to be suspicious,” Mickey says in between sucks of her Blow Pop.
“Nobody’s got to be suspicious. Have you two ever heard of a little thing called trust?” I ask.
“Yeah, it’s right after ‘trifling’ in the dictionary. And, your man’s just that if he ain’t told you about Tania by now. At least you knew about KJ’s other broads. It’s worse when you don’t know what’s coming at you,” Mickey says.
“KJ didn’t exactly tell me about Trecee, now, did he?” I shout as they walk toward their class, and I toward mine.
“That was an exception. She was crazy. This is just Jeremy keeping secrets from you, and you need to front his ass on it, ASAP,” Mickey says with Nellie nodding in agreement.
“Yeah, Jayd. Not that I believe everything Misty reports, but I do kinda remember them being together last year. Not really my crowd. But, maybe you should ask Chance about it. See you at break,” she shouts before the bell for first period rings. As if I don’t have enough drama to deal with.
I barely paid attention to Spanish class today thinking about Mrs. Bennett and now Jeremy’s ex. I wish I could picture this girl Tania. And not that I’m really worried about it, but why didn’t he tell me he recently dated someone up here? Wa
lking toward Ms. Toni’s office, I see Misty lingering in the hall, as usual. I hope she doesn’t know about the hearing. All I need is for her to report back to everyone I’m in trouble with Mrs. Bennett. By the time she finishes telling her version, I’m sure she’ll have me crying, cussed out, and near expulsion.
“Hey, Jayd. How’s your new man doing?”
“Shut up, Misty,” I say, passing her by and going straight into the ASB office. I don’t have time to deal with her bullshit right now.
“Touchy, touchy. I guess you heard about his flavor over the summer, huh,” she says to my back. She’s such a broad.
“Good morning, Jayd. Are you ready to face Mrs. Bennett?” Ms. Toni asks, meeting me outside her office door.
“I guess so. How about you?” I say, realizing she’s taking quite a risk herself, going up against an influential teacher like Mrs. Bennett.
“Oh, girl, please. Mrs. Bennett doesn’t scare me. And besides, I live for justice.” She leans in the door and makes an announcement to the crowded ASB room. “I’ll be back by break. Get to work on those Homecoming signs and don’t make too much noise,” she says to Reid and the rest of the ASB clique.
“Have you considered running for Homecoming Princess,” Ms. Toni asks me as we walk down the hall toward the main office.
“Are you trying to distract me from our meeting? Because I know you can’t be serious.”
“Why not? I think you’d make a great princess. You’re smart, beautiful, and you’ve got courage. Those are all the qualities you need to win.”
“You forgot the most important quality of them all—popularity,” I say, opening the door for her to walk through. The air is thick with tension, and all eyes are on us. Every secretary, counselor, and administrator is in the main office this morning. I’m sure the other teachers wanted to be here, but they do have to teach. Luckily, Misty’s mother isn’t here yet. Otherwise, I’m sure she’d have a front seat too.
“Good morning, everyone,” Ms. Toni says, taking some of the heat off me. I follow her as she walks straight into the principal’s office, not waiting for a return greeting from anyone.
“Good morning, Mrs. Crowe,” Mrs. Bennett says as Ms. Toni walks in ahead of me. “Jayd.” After Ms. Toni takes her seat next to the Special Needs counselor, Mr. Schaeffer, there’s only one seat left, and it’s directly across from Mrs. Bennett, and that’s just fine with me.
“Good morning,” I say, not wanting to seem rude to the other adults in the room.
“Well, let’s get started, shall we? The principal had urgent school business to tend to. So, it’ll just be the four of us present,” Mr. Schaeffer says, starting the meeting. “Miss Jayd Jackson has filed a formal complaint against Mrs. Bennett. Can you please tell us the nature of your complaint, Miss Jackson? And, speak clearly so the recorder can hear.”
“Last week, while I was outside her classroom waiting for a friend, Mrs. Bennett called me into her room,” I begin, only to be rudely interrupted by Mrs. Bennett.
“Uhmm, actually, Mr. Schaeffer, Jayd came in of her own free will. I asked her what she was doing near my room, since she’s not a student of mine this year and it was well after the last bell rang. That’s when she rudely stepped into my room.” Oh, no this bitch ain’t about to lie right up in the office.
“That’s not true,” I say. My heart’s beating so fast I want to jump across the table and choke her. “I was waiting for my friend, and she called me in. Why would I willingly go into her room?”
“Well, that’s why we’re here, Jayd,” Mr. Schaeffer says, but I’m not quite sure what he means. I look at Ms. Toni, and she quickly intervenes.
“What are you talking about, Mr. Schaeffer?” Ms. Toni asks.
“Well, it seems Mrs. Bennett is concerned about Jayd’s aggressive behavior toward her and doesn’t want her anywhere near her class for the remainder of the semester. And, we’ll have to see about next year, since you are on the A.P. track,” Mr. Schaeffer says as Mrs. Bennett smiles like she’s just won the battle.
“What?” I exclaim. “She called me into her room and then proceeded to talk to me in her usual racist tone, and she’s filing a complaint against me? Are you serious?” I ask Mrs. Bennett, who’s sitting calmly in her seat, like we’re wasting her time.
“Jayd, it’s your word against hers. And, right now, you’re displaying the exact demeanor she’s complaining about. As for the racist exchange that supposedly took place, we have no proof.” Mr. Schaeffer has already made up his mind. Jeremy was right about Mrs. Bennett’s power, and Ms. Toni looks completely defeated.
“Proof?” I ask. “You need proof when she has a reputation for not liking any people but her own and for belittling students in class? What kind of school allows teachers like her to get off scot-free?” I know my speech is falling on deaf ears at this point, but I refuse to let her feel like she’s won a thing.
“Miss Jackson, please calm down and lower your voice. Now, I think you owe Mrs. Bennett an apology for speaking to her disrespectfully. Insubordination is cause for detention under the student bylaws and constitution. But, we’ll let it slide this time.” This fool must be tripping if he thinks I’m going to apologize to this broad.
“In all fairness, Mr. Schaeffer,” Ms. Toni says, “why would Jayd waste her time filing a complaint if she didn’t have grounds to do so? As you pointed out, Jayd’s an A.P. student and doesn’t have time to waste. She could be in English class right now. But instead she’s here standing up to a teacher whom she has to face in class next year. Doesn’t that deserve some credit?” It seems Mrs. Bennett’s not the only teacher with Mr. Schaeffer’s ear because he appears to be listening.
“Yes, it does. But, unfortunately it’s a case of she said, she said. My hands are tied. For the record, Jayd, unless you have official school business, don’t go near Mrs. Bennett’s room,” he says as he rises from his seat and begins to head out the door. “Off the record, I think you should both apologize and put this ugly episode behind you. Most issues like this one are better resolved between the two parties. Not in an official meeting.” Well, I agree with him there. I stare hard across the table at Mrs. Bennett, letting her know this ain’t over. I’m nowhere near finished with her.
“Well, Jayd, Mrs. Crowe,” Mrs. Bennett says, rising from her seat and walking toward the door. “You are both way out of your element.”
“We’ll see about that,” Ms. Toni says. That last comment from Mrs. Bennett gives me an instant hot flash, like I’m about to have another déjà vu experience, but it never comes.
“Jayd, I’m so sorry about this,” Ms. Toni says as we walk back to her office before the bell for break rings. “I had no idea she’d do something like this.”
“It’s all right,” I say, feeling sorry for her. She really put herself on the line for me, and we both got burned. “She’ll get hers sooner or later.” As I walk away from Ms. Toni I feel the power of my statement. Mrs. Bennett will get what’s coming to her, and I’ll make sure of that. Maybe not today, but someday.
After the hearing with Mrs. Bennett, I decide to get to government class early to see if I can catch Jeremy, but to no avail. I guess today’s another high-surf day. I sit in my usual seat, waiting for Jeremy to walk in.
“Good morning, sexy lady,” Jeremy says, hugging me from behind and kissing me on my neck. As he sits down next to me, all I can think about is my conversation with Mama and Netta yesterday and the hearing with Mrs. Bennett this morning. I want to talk to him about it, but I’m still so hot I don’t think I can without crying. Besides, the class is hella noisy, even though everyone’s seated at their desk. Before I can say a word, the bell rings, and Mrs. Peterson begins class.
“Okay, class, today you need to read chapter three and answer the study questions at the end of the chapter. Please choose a study partner and turn in one combined paper by the end of the period. I have tests to grade, so don’t bother me, and whisper quietly amongst yourselves,” Mrs. Peterson says
, settling in behind her desk. Jeremy and I look at each other and smile. We don’t even have to ask anymore.
“Are you the writer or am I?” Jeremy asks, reaching for his backpack.
“Your handwriting is much neater than mine. Why don’t you be the writer this time,” I say, telling the truth. My handwriting is so bad, most of the time I can’t even read it. He pulls out his textbook and a pen. I hand him a piece of notebook paper, and he puts both our names at the top.
“Jayd Jackson and Jeremy Weiner. Sounds good together, doesn’t it?” he says with a sly smile.
“Yes, it does,” I say, smiling right back at him.
“So, Jayd, what are we waiting for? When can I start calling you my girlfriend?” Jeremy asks, looking so sincere.
“How did we get to this from class work?” I ask. Jeremy’s been trying to get me to commit, but I’m just not sure. KJ’s still jocking, and I don’t want to write him off completely, at least not as my friend. Not yet, anyway, per everyone’s advice. And this flavor-of-the-month thing is still bothering me.
“Jayd, you and I both know what we want, don’t we? Or, maybe I’m just being presumptuous.” Damn, he’s beautiful, and he’s also hella intelligent. I don’t know anybody who ever used the word “presumptuous” voluntarily except for me. Nor could anyone I know be so bossy in such a sweet way. KJ would just tell me that we should be together. See, there I go again comparing and contrasting, like KJ and Jeremy are paragraphs on my English test. That’s so unfair, for KJ especially, ’cause at the moment, the brotha’s coming up short.
“No, you’re not being presumptuous at all. But, you know I’m not ready for all that yet, baby,” I say, taking the pen from his right hand.
“What is it?” Jeremy asks, clenching his jaw.
“It’s me,” I say. He ain’t buying it at all. “Look, Jeremy, I want to be with you, but not with all this drama still so fresh. Let’s just continue as we are, taking it slow, and building our relationship so that it’s right.”